Dr. Reality Steve

“Dr. Reality Steve” & Live Video Chat Tonight at 9:00pm EST/6:00pm PST

This might go over a lot of people’s head reading this but tomorrow is the Smackoff. It’s the annual call-in to the Jim Rome radio show where the best callers are allowed to riff on whatever they want. It’s a sports radio show but basically no one talks sports anymore. I won it back in 1998 and the prize was essentially bragging rights. Tomorrow the prize is $5,000. If you’re not a sports fan or have no clue what this is, it won’t interest you, but needless to say this is something I look forward to once a year. I used to work for Jim from 1997-1999 and was a caller to the show for probably 5 years before that. Since then, I’ve been pretty consistent over the years I think only missing out once or twice on calling in to the Smackoff. However people have stepped up their game in recent years and come up with some ridiculously creative calls. I don’t listen to the show much anymore since it’s not on here in Dallas, so I’m not as dialed in as some of the others. I think I have a good call lined up, but not sure how creative it is compared to some of the other ones. I have added a wrinkle that I’ve never done before so we’ll see how that goes. It’s all or nothing. $5k to the winner voted on by Jim and his crew. Nothing to anyone else. You can listen to the show at JimRome.com tomorrow between 12-3pm EST. My guess is I’ll be calling in half way into the show around 1:30 EST.

This interview happened last week but Chris Soules went on the “Dan Patrick Show” and had an interesting take on Nick. Here’s a guy who knows Nick, and even went to visit Nick one time in between seasons, and even HE says Nick enjoys the limelight.

Back to the “Bachelorette” world, Kaitlyn did a live chat yesterday with AOL in front of a studio audience. Here it is:

Can’t say she really said anything all that spoiler-ish, and a lot of it was exactly what she’s been saying for the last month. Haters gonna hate, she’s just being herself, she doesn’t regret what she did, etc.

I received this email after yesterday’s post about the location of BIP 2:
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Steve,

Normally I would never email anyone about the Bachelor franchise but I find your site to be really funny and really enjoy your recaps. My husband and I spent our honeymoon at Playa Escondida 5 years ago and loved it! My guess is ABC chose the location because it’s so remote. The town is a small village and the resort is a pretty strenuous 15 minute walk as it’s set in some cliffs along the beach. It’s beautiful but definitely more on the rustic and homey side. The staff will set up any kind of excursion you want but you might have to travel an hour or more to get there. It’s more of a get away from it all kind of place than glamorous resort. We don’t have cable so I’m going to make my husband buy the season pass just so we can see the resort. Congratulations, your spoilers have officially ruined my husbands Monday nights.
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Good to know. It’s definitely a step up from last season in Tulum. Then again, I think if they filmed this season war torn Iraq, it’d be a step up from where they were last season, so maybe that’s not saying much.

On to your “Dr. Reality Steve” for the week. Only a couple to get to…
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Original Dr. Steve question with response:

First time emailer sort of new to your site.

I have been reconciled with my boyfriend for over a year but lately he doesn’t communicate through any means on his own, he doesn’t visit willingly for several months at a time claiming he’s too busy taking care of his grandparents. Lately he’s been very protective of another girl that he doesn’t want me to contact when I deleted the number (it used to be his number before he lost service). I want to believe he’s not cheating but something seems fishy and that old adage of “out of sight out of mind”. He claims the girl is an old friend and nothing more. My question should I stay in the relationship or get out or should I seek the truth from his family who still like me and him together?

Comment: I don’t really have a lot to go off here. But from what I understand, you got back together with an ex, he doesn’t communicate with you, you don’t see him much (even months at a time), and he claims a girl in his phone is just a friend.

Cut your losses. Not worth it. Why do you want to be with someone you can’t see for months at a time? Especially when it’s because he’s “taking care of his grandparents?” Something seems totally off about that. Just move on.

Update: I took your advice and Sunday June 21st after he said he was debating getting online the night before cut my losses and broke up with him the next day.

Comment: Well there you go. See, my advice is worth it. Then again, it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out he was a complete douche and you needed to leave him.
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Dear Steve,

Reader since Ben’s season, Bachelor fan since Alex’s season.

Anyway, I’m 26 years old, currently living in ”Option Central” NYC. I met a guy on Tinder 2 months and 12 dates ago and now I’m not sure where we stand.

The first few weeks he asked me to hang out 3 times a week then eventually it was twice a week then once a week.

In the beginning it felt like he was smitten because he would say things like ”Is it weird that I can’t wait to see you again?,” we would talk on the phone for hours, tell each other we missed each other and he would take me on super romantic dates (broadway musicals, fine dining, surprise picnic, etc). He actually still surprises me!

Two weeks into meeting him, I drunk texted him asking if he was seeing someone else and told him to go f**k himself. He told me I was acting like a girlfriend and that we should probably space our time out a little and to ”not like him so much.” Then a few weeks after that he told me that he was going on vacation with his ex because he just ”couldn’t say no to a free ticket.” When I asked him if he was trying to date her again he never said yes or no. He basically said he’s happy dating around and enjoying single life.

After that talk I was hesitant to talk to him again but he asked me to hang out when he got back and I took him on my first surprise planned date for him. We had a really fun time. After every date since our 3rd date, I have gone home thinking ”there is no way there isn’t mutual feelings there.” We have deep conversations, we make each other laugh, we like a lot of the same things, etc. I never brought up his ex again or if he was seeing anyone else because I don’t feel like we are at a point in our relationship for me to say anything.

Comment: Crap. This email got cut off at this point or I cut and pasted it wrong. My bad.

The second this guy decided to go on vacation with an ex because he couldn’t possibly say no to a free ticket was your first red flag. Another one? Him saying he’s happy dating around and enjoying single life. Yeah, I don’t know where you guys stand right now, but you’re just an option to him. Why pay for the cow when you can get the milk for free? Man, I’m just full of these saying about relationships aren’t I? Hey, maybe you’re enjoying dating around too and this is all you want. If so, then this seems to be a guy that would fit perfectly into that mold.

However if you are looking for something more serious, I don’t think you’re getting it from this guy. He’s playing the field and you’re just one of the girls in his lineup.
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Send all links and emails to: steve@realitysteve.com. To follow me on Twitter, it’s: www.twitter.com/RealitySteve. Instagram name is “RealitySteve,” or join my Reality Steve Facebook Fan Page. Talk to you tonight.

6 Comments

6 Comments

  1. jay2

    June 25, 2015 at 10:22 AM

    Second letter: I know I’m the least qualified for giving advice but it sounds that you are more into him that he is into you. You are making all these plans for him but he has been clear that you aren’t his priority. (I know, I know, I’ve been there….no actually I am there and it wasn’t clear to me either until Steve, Dr Rob22, Dr Vessel, Dr mfp123 and Dr Yankeesgirl put it quite clear last week).
    Move on, or if you want to keep this casual thing, then make him an option too and play the field too. It’s tinder and NYC, so that gives you an idea of what kind of guy you got. Most of my friends in NYC have the same issue, that guys have infinite choices and it seems that you are to him just a choice. Yes, he seems to enjoy you, yes, he seems to laugh with you , but he aint taking you seriously. He said it himself, he doesn’t want you to act like a gf and he doesn’t want you to like him so much.

  2. rob22

    June 25, 2015 at 7:52 PM

    2nd Tinder question in two weeks. Did that question even need to be asked? Really, a grown woman who doesn’t know how to handle it when her “boyfriend” goes on vacation with an ex girlfriend? Ladies, really?

    And a “boyfriend” who tries to hide a woman and doesn’t want to see his “girlfriend” for months?

    I gotta believe RS has something else to do today if he’s actually publishing these two lay ups.

  3. rob22

    June 25, 2015 at 9:50 PM

    Jay2, I’m glad you were helped. I actually do know it’s hard to want to believe in something and have the other person play games with you. Probably manipulating you along the way, despite having no real interest beyond a few yucks. I went through that once when I was much younger. Like many, I had an amazing capacity to delude myself. After the fact, with a little distance I could see it. But sometimes when you’re in it, the obvious facts don’t seem to matter.

    But delusion doesn’t change the facts. It’s not going anywhere and continuing will only brings more pain. A clean break is the only cure. And the longer they stay in it, the longer before before they find a truly satisfying relationship.

  4. purplerayne

    June 25, 2015 at 10:55 PM

    Re: Tinder, remember its just a meet up, not a dating website. Your chances of running into a relationship guy is the same as going to a bar or party. I have a few guy friends on Tinder and they are all looking for girlfriends…but they are all in their 30s or early 40s.

    If a guy after two months is not talking about exclusivity , you should approach the subject …and be ready to hear an answer that you dont want. Guys are simple, if they want to be with you, they will be. If a guy isnt committing, he’s either not into you OR he is currently into himself. Either way, not the one for you.

  5. adrie

    June 27, 2015 at 5:03 AM

    That Chris Soules interview was great – they asked decent questions and none of it seemed “controlled” producing seemingly honest answers.

  6. Serpephone

    June 29, 2015 at 11:30 AM

    Oh, Chris’ interview was really pleasant. The women visitor stories are hilarious!

    I still like that guy–funny giggle–and all!

    He’s very personable and charismatic.

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