The Bachelor 20 - Ben

Your Annual “Bachelor Bio Breakdown”

Even though you’ve known about all these girls since Oct. 27th, yesterday with the ABC bio’s being released, we learned a little bit more about each girl. Remember that one season where they actually took screen shots of the guy’s hand written answers? Why don’t they do that anymore? I think that was Emily’s guys they did that for, but I could be wrong. I wanna see which of these girls has that flowery, girly type handwriting, and which ones write like a dude. Whatever the case, here’s the page with every girl’s bio on it. When reading through each one, if you click on their name above their picture, it will bring you to each individual bio in case you want to read the whole thing. I just picked out something in their bio that I thought was interesting, noteworthy, or just downright disturbing and commented on it. This has become an annual tradition so lets see how many are already immediately offended by something I’ve written. If you are, then you’re in for a long season since there will be things 100x worse that’ll be said about you this season on social media than anything I wrote today or will write this season. Hope you have some thick skin. As I say every season, if you choose to go on this show, you open yourself up to whatever criticism comes your way, fair or not. It’s just the world we live in now. You don’t want to be made fun of, don’t go on the show. No one’s forcing you to.
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Amanda Stanton
Amanda

Amanda immediately gets points for being from the OC, where I grew up. Even lives in the same city that my mom currently lives in, reppin RSM. So good on her. She loves “Grease,” so a billion points for her there. She wears anti-aging skin products and doesn’t hide the fact she uses botox at 25. Uh oh. Does this mean she’s one of those Nerium people who’ll post all day every day about how their creams make them look 20 years younger? Lets hope not.
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Amber James
Amber

Since Amber and Becca are returning contestants from last season, apparently they didn’t need to join in all the reindeer games with this cast, and their questionnaire from last season was just slapped on their profiles for this season. How very unoriginal. Amber’s answers sucked anyway, so maybe it’s a good thing she didn’t get a new batch.
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Becca Tilley
Becca

As for Becca, all of these picture posted are from the waist up, but there are pictures from the knees up that some sites have posted. For whatever reason, Becca is the only one of 28 who decided to wear cut off jean shorts like she was at some outdoor BBQ. Everyone else is in either jeans or a dress. Not sure why she chose that look, but it’s about as dressed down as we’ve ever seen.
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Breanne Rice
Breanne

Her favorite book is Why Men Love Bitches because “it’s all about valuing yourself and letting the man pursue you.” Oh, so you mean the book that Tenley read and the reason for why she didn’t show up on Ben’s season. Also, anyone who’s already using words like “smize” and trying to hash tag #powercouple in their bios is trying too hard. It’s hard to be a power couple from this show when you last about as long as a “True Detective” marathon on the first night.
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Caila Quinn
Caila

Ok, so some of her favorite music is from Brett Dennen, Ingrid Michaelson, and Peter Fox and some of her favorite movies are “My Fair Lady,” “The Count of Monte Cristo,” and “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang,” none of which were made after 1975. Caila, you’re 24, not 78. Ugh. Really? You couldn’t pick one movie made since you were born? Also, her favorite fruit is a pomegranate. Outstanding. Does this mean we’ll see her staking out the pomegrantate trees at the mansion like crazy Ashley last season?
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Emily Ferguson
Emily

Lets all stop asking questions about the “occupation” for some of these girls. It’s nothing new. They do this every season for humor and to get a rise out of people. Obviously we know Emily and Haley’s “job” isn’t being a twin. It’s stupid and unfunny at this point. Although, her “job” probably should’ve been written as “future Bachelor in Paradise participant” since that actually pays. Anything else interesting? Oh yeah, she once peed her pants in front of her entire cheer team. Oh boy. Here we go again. More women confessing bowel movements in bios. Can we just put an end to this please?
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Haley Ferguson
Haley

I like how her favorite movies are “Just Go With It,” “We Bought a Zoo,” and “Dear John.” I think all those movies were released like last month, and she’s only 2 years younger than Caila. Granted, those movies suck, but at least they were released in the 21st century. She said she made it to the semi-finals on the Cowboys cheerleader show. I thought I was told they didn’t make it past the first episode? Or maybe that first episode picks up at the semi-finals? Hell if I know. Haley saves her bio by saying she’d want to be Taylor Swift for a day because she’s the greatest human alive.

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2 Comments

2 Comments

  1. jessicat

    December 9, 2015 at 11:42 AM

    “Oh yeah, she once peed her pants in front of her entire cheer team. Oh boy. Here we go again. More women confessing bowel movements in bios.”

    Peeing your pants is not having a bowel movement, Steve.

  2. lcs85

    January 5, 2016 at 5:40 PM

    Dolphins are the only mammal to have sex for pleasure? I’m guessing Jennifer doesn’t enjoy being naked in the throes of passion if she doesn’t think humans have sex for pleasure…

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