Reality Steve

The Bachelor 20 - Ben

The “Bachelor” Episode 2 Recap Incl A Spreadsheet of Contestants Ages, & Next “Bachelorette” Talk from ABC, Fleiss

Photo Credit: ABC

-For some reason, the show has Ben staying at the Four Seasons in Westlake Village rather than a house close to the mansion. Not sure if they’ve ever done that before. It’s not really a big deal, but something that we found out last night after his love lab group date when he took the girls there for their after party. We immediately start in with Lace telling us, “I’m not the crazy girl at all.” Translation: I’m the crazy girl. Honey, do you realize the more you say it, and the more you freak out at Ben for not looking at you enough, the more we realize how incredibly crazy you are? Not just norm cray. We’re talking boiling-rabbit-in-a-pot cray. You might want to tone it down one or a thousand notches. I get that there always has to be a crazy person every season, but this was a bit over the top, no? Not to mention, your name is Lace. Like, isn’t it already pre-determined with a name like that she’d be the crazy one? Or a stripper.

-Group date is up first with 10 of the girls going to “Bachelor High” to compete as 2 person teams in a variety of subjects. The teams were Jennifer/LB, Lace/Jubilee, Jackie/Lauren H., Mandi/Amber, and Becca/JoJo. Didn’t it seem like all these competitions were rushed? The first subject had the first 4 teams to build a volcano and make it explode advancing to the next round, yet, we barely see any of the process of how the hell this even happened. I mean, we all had to make a volcano in middle school, didn’t we? But I certainly don’t remember how to do it. All I know is that Lace & Jubilee were eliminated because they couldn’t get Ben off didn’t get their volcano to explode quick enough. Oooooohhhhh, tough luck ladies. Maybe next time try pumping it faster. Maybe wet it down a little bit. You know, to get the lava flowing.

-The next subject was bobbing for apples, but you couldn’t use your hands. So you had to pass an apple to your partner without using your hands, yet another sexual innuendo they’re throwing at us, and we’re only 10 minutes into the episode. Then again, I’m sure the kids who actually attend Verdugo Hills High where this date was filmed probably think this isn’t even first base. Jackie and Lauren H. are the team eliminated because Jackie can’t get it into her mouth. If it wasn’t already humiliating enough to even participate in this sexual fantasy of Chris Harrison, I’m sure Jackie isn’t all self-conscious now about having a small mouth on a date where you’re essentially simulating oral. Lets see how emotionally traumatized she is after this experience. My guess? She’ll be on a therapist’s couch within a week.

-The third subject was geography where you had to place Indiana on a map. You know, because that’s where Ben is from. Maybe they should’ve looked that up before appearing on the show. Becca and JoJo lose this one because, well, they had a hard time figuring out that Indiana wasn’t Pennsylvania. Maybe next time, girls. The fourth “subject” was basketball where it was Jen/LB vs Amber/Mandi for the title. And they had to make free throws. This was so rushed, we have no idea how many they had to make, what the score was, or if these were even being shot by the right girls. So much choppy editing and who was shooting, for all we know, producer Elan was draining jumpers and these girls couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn. Somehow, even though she admittedly couldn’t shoot and even shot one over the basket, Mandi made the winning shot and she and Amber ended up winning, but now must face off against each other on the track to see who the ultimate winner is. As a viewer, I’d say none of us watching, that’s for sure.

-Mandi had heels on, took them off, ran barefoot, and basically Usain Bolt’ed past Amber. It wasn’t even close. If I didn’t know any better, I’d have thought Amber was running in one of those 3 legged races with how slow she was. Yikes. For winning, Mandi got to ride around the track in a car with Ben, and we heard exactly zero of their conversation, which goes to show how important Mandi was to this episode. Kinda like whoever won the tractor races on Chris’ season last year, then we never really got to see their conversation after she got extra time with him. Was it Ashley I.? All I remember was Mackenzie was the one who got extra time and a rose with him that night. Hey, why are we talking about Chris anyway? This is Ben’s season. Perfect Ben. The guy who doesn’t do anything wrong and who everyone gushes over (and also with the 42% completion percentage in high school football). That’s a lot to live up to. If it wasn’t bad enough the show can’t stop throwing up all over themselves about how he’s their best “Bachelor” ever, imagine how Ben must feel to keep his relationship going? Oh boy.

-At the cocktail party, they show us Ben having conversations with about half the girls. First up was Becca, who takes him to shoot some hoops. Ummmm, when did Becca turn into a lefty Steph Curry? She’s draining jumpers in heels and dress all while Ben is bricking and blaming it on his shirt. Did Becca miss? In “Reader Emails” last week, someone asked me to make out a starting five basketball team with Ben’s girls. I can’t even remember who I had in the starting lineup, but if I didn’t have Becca in there, she is now. And she’s the point guard. And every play runs through her. I want her jacking up 30-35 shots a game, and if she passes to anyone, her ass is coming out and she’s going to get a tongue lashing on the bench next to me. Since, you know, that’s about as far as any guy is allowed to get with her. So major points to Becca for not looking like a spaz when she shoots a basketball, and minus a gazillion points to Ben for not hitting the rim and blaming it on his clothing. I don’t even remember what these two said to each other. All I remember was Becca basically auditioning for the Harlem Globetrotters.

-We then see Ben with Jennifer who’s “confident that we could really be a good match.” They make out. For those keeping score at home, mark that down as #1 for the night. You know, before the season Ben was telling any reporter who’d listen that he wasn’t gonna just make out with anyone and didn’t want these relationships to be all about the physical. Uh huh. Sure you didn’t, buddy. You may not have beaten Chris Soules record for most make outs in an episode, but you were damn close. And that’s only by what was shown to us. For all we know, you tongued down a few others that were kept quiet. We know Mandi kissed you on night one that was never shown, so it’s certainly possibly there were more this episode.

-Speaking of Mandi, she was talking to him next and you’ll never guess in a million years who was told by a producer interrupted their conversation to talk to him – Lace! In case you haven’t figured this out in one episode and 20 minutes, Lace needs attention. Like, a lot. Kinda like she needs air and water on a daily basis. Lace apologized for how she came off the first night and Ben said it wasn’t intentional that he didn’t make eye contact with her at the last rose ceremony. Lace is getting everything she needs here other than a tongue down her throat, which she’s basically begging for. She tells us their conversation is going great, Ben is totally into her, and “we’re basically just like eye f***ing.” Ummmm, shut up. No you’re not. We now know Ben has no problem making out with whoever. If he wanted you, you’d know by this point. Other than that, it’s you being delusional and, well, Lace.

-Jubilee interrupts in and of course Lace thinks it was right when Ben was going in for the kiss. Again, it wasn’t. Jubilee applauds Ben for the charity work he’s done in Honduras because she was born in Haiti, she was in an orphanage at a young age, and ended up being adopted at 6 years old. I guess that was a good enough story for Ben so he made out with her. That’s #2. While Jubilee is getting her Ben on, Lace is back with the ladies and complaining about how she barely got to talk to Ben. So we see Lace get up and leave to go talk to Ben again and she interrupts LB’s conversation with him, giving us an ITM of “these bitches can suck it.” Oh yes. Definitely the way to become part of the group when you feel like you’re on the outside. Apparently Lace never read “Bachelor for Dummies” because she’s essentially broken every cardinal rule about how to act on this show and we’re barely two episodes in. I think someone needs to stage an intervention. They talk about Denver and…ummmm….errrrr….that’s all I remember. All I know is he definitely didn’t kiss her. She’s still clueless.

-Next he takes JoJo to the roof overlooking the city, and you could kinda see where this is going. Both of them say how excited they are about getting to know the other, yet, there they are, together on the top of the hotel, and there’s nothing in the rule book that says you can’t start getting to know each other right then. If you never know where you stand on this show, and every second with the lead is valuable since you barely get any time, maybe in your time with him you shouldn’t talk about how excited you are in getting to know them. GET TO KNOW HIM! Sorry JoJo. You seem like a nice Dallas girl, so I guess I gotta cheer for you. And Jenna told me to. With that, Ben and JoJo make out. That’s #3. JoJo: “I have 100% developed feelings for Ben.” That’s nice to know that a 12 minute conversation already has you picking out wedding dresses. JoJo gets the rose. You’ll never believe who isn’t happy about it either – the girl whose name rhymes with something she probably wants to spray in Ben’s face right about now.

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28 Comments

28 Comments

  1. angelfish

    January 12, 2016 at 11:48 AM

    So Jade & Tanner have been engaged less time than Kaitlyn and Shawn, yet THEY are getting a televised ABC wedding.

    That’s some nice karma right there. And a reward for doing things the right way, rather than the Kaitlyn way.

    Big congrats to Jade & Tanner.

  2. aslucas

    January 12, 2016 at 12:25 PM

    I can’t believe Steve didn’t comment on how HUGE Olivia’s mouth looked when she was gaping about wanting / expecting the first 1 on 1. Coupled with her sense of entitlement… not attractive.

  3. kmannone723

    January 12, 2016 at 1:11 PM

    @aslucas he probably didn’t comment because it becomes her undoing in a few more weeks. @angelfish interesting point however even des & chris didn’t get a televised wedding. I noticed for Sean & Catherine they seemed to focus on the sex room more than the ceremony itself so I’m sure Kaitlyn will get a televised ceremony when she finally gets it together. heck if they name Becca as a bachelorlette she’s almost a lock for a televised wedding.

  4. rob22

    January 12, 2016 at 2:37 PM

    I don’t go on the other Bachelor boards, but to me, Becca doesn’t seem like a big deal this time around. Probably the crazies still like her, but I’m backing down off the Becca will be the Bachelorette thought.

    It does seem like it’s lining up for Caila a bit better. What better way for the show to slide in a “diverse person” than to get a half white, half Filipino. That would be typical for the show & would allow them to skirt the issue without having an actual African American person or anyone fully “ethnic” be the lead. Especially after the disaster of Juan Pah-Blow, who btw, was a white Hispanic, obviously of Spanish/European decent, not an indigenous person. The show is way too change averse to put in a really diverse person. But a half Asian person, I could see them doing that.

  5. rob22

    January 12, 2016 at 2:39 PM

    BTW: I write about The Bachelorette because there really isn’t anything remotely interesting going on this season. It’s so boilerplate with everyone playing their roles. Is this season just a complete write off snooze fest, or is it just me? I’m already over it. I need something, ANYTHING to keep my interest.

  6. hurricaneemily

    January 12, 2016 at 4:04 PM

    Hey, Steve.

    I’m only skimming your recaps because I’m trying to avoid your spoilers. You’re right 99% of the time! I am looking forward to seeing what you got right at the end and being filled in on all the dirt at the end though.

    I was happy to hear about Jade and Tanner getting married. I’m almost always able to tell when a couple will get married and when they won’t. I say “almost” because I predicted Shawn and Kaitlyn would not get married and they’re still together though no wedding plans are in the works.

    Here’s my recap for episode 2: http://cafeemily.com/bachelor-2016-episode-2-recap/

  7. justforfun

    January 12, 2016 at 4:12 PM

    It’s not just you, Rob, it is a snooze fest thanks to boring Ben. He seems to have zero personality.

    ABC televising Jade & Tanner’s wedding is a real slap in the face to Des. Makes you wonder why the franchise doesn’t like her. Do people really care about Jade & Tanner? I can’t imagine that their wedding will bring in big ratings. The weddings are always boring anyway. If ABC was smart they would show 10 minutes of the wedding, and then film the reception with everyone getting drunk.

  8. valadega

    January 12, 2016 at 5:41 PM

    ABC probably went all in thinking they were going to have to spend a wad of cash for a big splashy wedding for Andi and Josh and they totally ignored Des & Chris due to their financial bottom line. Then Josh suddenly dumped Andi and the embarrassed ABC probably hates his guts and NEVER EVEN considered Josh for the next Bachelor gig! I have a feeling they won’t EVER make that kind of mistake again!

  9. kimmyfromdablock

    January 12, 2016 at 6:50 PM

    I agree with you @rob22, it really is boring and formulaic, yet I continue to watch. I watch back on my DVR because I can’t stand to watch this thing with the wasted time of commercial breaks. I used to be stealth about ending my fast forwarding just as the show begins, but now I lazily fast forward until something catches my eye to tell me to stop. In other words, I miss a lot and I really don’t care because it’s easy to get the basic gist. I fast forwarded through much of the high school nonsense.

    That was such an over analyzation of a simple thought that I believe I’ve become Steve.

  10. nicolette

    January 12, 2016 at 7:02 PM

    Regarding Jade and Tanner’s wedding:
    On Sunday, they both had Instagram posts of them in Crate & Barrel doing their registry. So out of curiosity, I searched for them on the Crate & Barrel registry database and it came up and shows their wedding date as 4/24/16.

  11. kmannone723

    January 12, 2016 at 7:08 PM

    interesting but they could be having 2 ceremonies 1 televised for bachelor nation and 1 private just for family.

  12. kmannone723

    January 12, 2016 at 7:11 PM

    @Rob I agree with you on the snooze fest. I wonder if it’s a trend whenever a Ben is a bachelor it’s snooze fest. Although maybe they picked the wrong Ben I thought Ben W would have been a better choice.

  13. hayleyyy

    January 12, 2016 at 8:50 PM

    Jade linked to their public wedding website in her Instagram. It was a little cheesy, but very much in line with the Janner brand of being all-American sweethearts, etc. The only thing I found really off-putting was that they had a whole section for gifts and their registry, which includes Hatch My House, a donation website where your “gift” goes towards the new home they’re trying to build. Just seems so tacky to publicly ask for people to help pay for your new, undoubtedly expensive home, especially when we know they’ve already made lots of money from their BIP and Bachelor-adjacent events, as well as all their sponsored IG posts, AND their televised wedding. Just think that buying 4-acres and building your dream home should be your sole financial responsibilities, not your fans. Ugh.

  14. ladyjane747

    January 12, 2016 at 9:57 PM

    Got around to watching episode 2 tonight. Olivia’s mouth is off-puttingly HUGE. Why is it always hanging open? She’s sort of like Courtney (winning!) but not as funny. Lauren H. looks like Laura Dern. Lauren B. has a super thin upper lip that disappears when she smiles. Would like to see her and Chris Soules kiss! Sam was too insecure and she had that raspy voice going on. Caila sort of reminds me of the girl who was vying for the Bachelorette with Kaitlyn. Can’t even remember her name now!

  15. dakattack

    January 13, 2016 at 5:01 AM

    It’s “drivel,” not “dribble.”

  16. angelfish

    January 13, 2016 at 5:56 AM

    The rabid fans who thought Kaitlyn would be an “amazing” Bachelorette were proved wrong by the skank factor she brought in. Now the same ones who though Ben would be an “amazing” bachelor are being bored to death. When will people learn to manage those wild expectations?

    So Jade & Tanner posted their wedding registry publicly – nice gift grab. Seriously, that’s crass and greedy. Keep that stuff private for your friends & family.

  17. rob22

    January 13, 2016 at 5:59 AM

    The whole issue around the “drama” is that Olivia’s just playing a producer inspired role. It’s so phony looking. And I really do feel sorry for Lace. The poor girl is in way over her head. She’s like the deluded horrible singers that American Idol trots out for mockery. It’s one thing if someone is just a horrible, arrogant, mean human being & steps in a huge pile of it. Then everyone rightly piles on. But to pick damaged humans and trot them out in front of the camera for mockery is just wrong. For that reason, I can’t mock her. It’s unbelievable that they’ve forced Ben to keep her around this long for a continued story line. She should have received a more painless exit after night 1, starring as the drunk girl.

  18. rob22

    January 13, 2016 at 6:08 AM

    @ladyjane: nice visual on Chris Soules and Olivia kissing. Not sure how I’m going to rid myself of that image. It’s horrifying.

    So, I watched that Bachelor Live show last night. OMG. They had that stuttering m/f Old MacDonald giving his commentary (painfully given) along with (wow) the Princess of Darkness, Kris Jenner. I told you the Bachelor Apocalypse is upon us. You have a parody show that’s going on it’s second season, a Bachelor blogger with a barely functioning website getting interviewed by seemingly the entire US media, and now, not only has the show employed a stutterer to provide commentary, but simultaneously invited the Great Satan of Reality TV to be part of the show. Stock up on dry goods, dig a cellar and buy an Uzi. The end is near.

  19. smurfette22

    January 13, 2016 at 7:49 AM

    Olivia is a terrible human being. And with her facial expressions/huge mouth, she’s not even pretty anymore.

    I feel bad for Lace too. At first, I thought she would be a mean girl. Now I think she’s just an insecure girl who puts up a mean front.

    I like Jubilee, but what I don’t like is that she assumed that by telling Ben about her childhood would secure her the date rose. She’s kind of exploiting herself.

    Sam reminds me of this manager I once had. I felt bad for her when he called her sour. He could have used a much nicer word. Maybe her perfume isn’t right for her body chemistry.

    And I don’t like Jennifer’s eyebrows. I know that’s a petty thing to pick on, but they are super bushy and they are all I look at when I see her.

    I respect LB’s exit. Plain and simple.

  20. kimmyfromdablock

    January 13, 2016 at 10:12 AM

    @rob22…..your last post. Thanks for the laugh. So true, all of it.

  21. shouldbeworking

    January 13, 2016 at 11:40 AM

    I wish we could reply to an individual post – like on Facebook. It would save a lot of scrolling down and re-reading posts.
    Anyway, Olivia’s HUGE mouth was so ugly. All I could think of is someone could put their fist right in there! I liked her on Episode 1, but last night the ugly came out.

  22. rile9995

    January 13, 2016 at 1:45 PM

    Steve, I do enjoy your site. But very frustrated with all the adds. I kept getting redirected to advertising sites and would have to log out and back in 5 times. So, I didn’t read your update. Hope you get this changed. So frustrating.

  23. aslucas

    January 13, 2016 at 3:55 PM

    I’m so happy you guys noticed Olivia’s huge mouth, too. It is so distracting.

  24. canadiank8

    January 13, 2016 at 4:00 PM

    Hey Steve, you should include some clips in your recaps! This site has a bunch of them up from the first two episode: http://bachgifs.com

  25. canon

    January 15, 2016 at 2:49 PM

    My guess is that during the after show on Valentine’s day, Chris will marry them on air. It won’t be super fancy or an elaborate dinner for a hundred people, but just a pretty, simple, outdoor wedding, glass of champagne toast, then they will go off camera so the couple can celebrate with their families. That’s my guess. Even if it doesn’t happen on V-Day, it’ll happen on the aftershow after one of the Monday night episodes.

  26. canon

    January 15, 2016 at 3:03 PM

    Caila isn’t exactly what people had in mind for an ethnic bachelor or bachelorette. She’s only half Filipino so not exactly ‘non-white’ as she is half white and her features look it. Doesn’t matter to me either way, just saying it’s kind of a cheap pacifier. How is it any different than the two Canadians we had?

  27. serapa

    January 19, 2016 at 6:02 AM

    That Olivia girl is so mean! Beautiful on the outside and wretched inside. What a vile soul. Even with a bad edit excuse, she’s an awful person! Hope she enjoys her life because karma is a bitch and beauty will fade even with all the fillers and botox she can afford.

  28. serapa

    January 19, 2016 at 6:10 AM

    I don’t think Ben is boring…he just seems like a very nice person and drama sells. Ben is more like Sean…they are just good people who play it safe.

    Ben is also very young…he’s a kid really when you compare him to the other leads and he’s handling himself very well. He is acting like he has self respect and respect for women.

    Ben, you’re better off being called boring than a Juan Pablo or a playboy. You can walk away with the wonderful experiences and the money and be a better person for it.

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