Reality Steve

The Bachelor 20 - Ben

The “Bachelor” Episode 2 Recap Incl A Spreadsheet of Contestants Ages, & Next “Bachelorette” Talk from ABC, Fleiss

Photo Credit: ABC

-The next day is a 1-on-1 with Caila, but Chris Harrison is the one that “planned” it. Translation: they had a movie tie-in to promote this season and this was the date they were gonna use it on. Chris Harrison didn’t plan anything, just like Ben plans zero of the dates. So Ice Cube and Kevin Hart show up to let everyone know that, A) “Ride Along 2” comes out this weekend (well they didn’t actually tell them that but it ran during the commercial breaks 100 times last night and B) they’ll be accompanying Ben and Caila on their date. So basically a rip off of the Jimmy Kimmel date last season, except with two black dudes who need to promote their movie. Uhhhhhh, they do know this show is watched by probably 98% white people, right? Just checking. But in all seriousness, man, I can’t wait to not see “Ride Along 2.” I’ve been waiting ever since I didn’t see the original to not see this one as well. Keep em’ coming guys.

-Ice Cube and Kevin basically c**kblock Ben by riding in the backseat while he drives Caila around. Wouldn’t it have made more sense, you know, if the show is actually supposed to be about two people getting to know each other, if the roles were reversed and Ben and Caila actually got to talk to each other in the backseat while Ice Cube and Kevin did their bit in the front seat? Oh wait, this date was more about those two while they were there than it was Ben and Caila. My bad. They stop at the side of the road to pick up some cheap ass flowers, then head to the liquor store to buy some alcohol. Ice Cube wants to know if Ben needs any condoms for later, but apparently Ice Cube must’ve missed out on Kaitlyn’s season. Or any promo’s running about Ben. You see, Ben is supposedly the second coming of Sean Lowe, so condoms won’t be necessary on this date. Unless he wants to make balloon animals out of them or something.

-You know what one question we got to hear Ben ask Caila in the car? “What’s your favorite color?” Can we just eliminate this question from all future getting-to-know-you conversations? Really? Favorite color? That’s something that you don’t even need to ask. If you end up lasting with someone, it’s something that you just come to realize. It’s almost like that’s a question you ask when conversation is awkward and going nowhere. Please don’t ask anyone else that. Their next stop? Some raggedy ass store that sells “Spas.” Or portable hot tubs. You know, put Ben and Caila in this hot tub and have Kevin Hart join them too – exactly like it happened when Kimmel joined Chris and Kaitlyn. So yeah, not many points for originality here. This bit was barely funny when we saw it a year ago. Depending on how you feel about Kevin Hart, this could’ve been cringe worthy. And no, of course he wasn’t naked in the tub. Please. Although the, “Ok Caila, when Kevin stands up, make sure you make this astonished face so we can get it on camera” look seemed to work.

-After Ice Cube and Kevin left them alone on the date, Ben and Caila gave us quite the sleep inducing dinner date. I mean, really? What happened on this date? They went to dinner in a small restaurant just for themselves and talked. He asked her what she’s looking for in a partner. Her response? “Just a guy that treats me like crap, cheats on me, never does anything nice for me, and someone I’m not very compatible with.” Or not. What did we think she was gonna say? “Someone who compliments me…I’m a dreamer…” Oh ok. We know where this is going. She brought up her ex again, and now he’s 2-for-2 in episodes getting mentioned on this show. I’m sure he’s loving this considering a less than a month before she went to an open casting call, they were still together. How lovely. I’m guessing watching this show is pretty equivalent to stabbing himself in the eyeballs with a fork over and over again.

-She recaps their story of how they met on a plane, then she ran into him on the streets of Boston weeks later, it was fate, they dated a year, almost got engaged, but she was waiting for her heart to catch up and it’s not about how you met, but getting time together. If Caila and Ben would’ve worked out, she could’ve told their kids how mommy had an emotional relationship through a television screen with a guy she saw on TV but had never met before, all while she still had a boyfriend. Warms the cockles of your heart, doesn’t it? I know, me too. Will probably make this into a movie someday to rival the “Notebook.” Then to top of the snoozer of all snoozer dates, they got a private performance from Amos Lee. Yes, THE Amos Lee who magically found time in his schedule to appear on this show to play for Ben and Caila while they made out. That’s #4.

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28 Comments

28 Comments

  1. angelfish

    January 12, 2016 at 11:48 AM

    So Jade & Tanner have been engaged less time than Kaitlyn and Shawn, yet THEY are getting a televised ABC wedding.

    That’s some nice karma right there. And a reward for doing things the right way, rather than the Kaitlyn way.

    Big congrats to Jade & Tanner.

  2. aslucas

    January 12, 2016 at 12:25 PM

    I can’t believe Steve didn’t comment on how HUGE Olivia’s mouth looked when she was gaping about wanting / expecting the first 1 on 1. Coupled with her sense of entitlement… not attractive.

  3. kmannone723

    January 12, 2016 at 1:11 PM

    @aslucas he probably didn’t comment because it becomes her undoing in a few more weeks. @angelfish interesting point however even des & chris didn’t get a televised wedding. I noticed for Sean & Catherine they seemed to focus on the sex room more than the ceremony itself so I’m sure Kaitlyn will get a televised ceremony when she finally gets it together. heck if they name Becca as a bachelorlette she’s almost a lock for a televised wedding.

  4. rob22

    January 12, 2016 at 2:37 PM

    I don’t go on the other Bachelor boards, but to me, Becca doesn’t seem like a big deal this time around. Probably the crazies still like her, but I’m backing down off the Becca will be the Bachelorette thought.

    It does seem like it’s lining up for Caila a bit better. What better way for the show to slide in a “diverse person” than to get a half white, half Filipino. That would be typical for the show & would allow them to skirt the issue without having an actual African American person or anyone fully “ethnic” be the lead. Especially after the disaster of Juan Pah-Blow, who btw, was a white Hispanic, obviously of Spanish/European decent, not an indigenous person. The show is way too change averse to put in a really diverse person. But a half Asian person, I could see them doing that.

  5. rob22

    January 12, 2016 at 2:39 PM

    BTW: I write about The Bachelorette because there really isn’t anything remotely interesting going on this season. It’s so boilerplate with everyone playing their roles. Is this season just a complete write off snooze fest, or is it just me? I’m already over it. I need something, ANYTHING to keep my interest.

  6. hurricaneemily

    January 12, 2016 at 4:04 PM

    Hey, Steve.

    I’m only skimming your recaps because I’m trying to avoid your spoilers. You’re right 99% of the time! I am looking forward to seeing what you got right at the end and being filled in on all the dirt at the end though.

    I was happy to hear about Jade and Tanner getting married. I’m almost always able to tell when a couple will get married and when they won’t. I say “almost” because I predicted Shawn and Kaitlyn would not get married and they’re still together though no wedding plans are in the works.

    Here’s my recap for episode 2: http://cafeemily.com/bachelor-2016-episode-2-recap/

  7. justforfun

    January 12, 2016 at 4:12 PM

    It’s not just you, Rob, it is a snooze fest thanks to boring Ben. He seems to have zero personality.

    ABC televising Jade & Tanner’s wedding is a real slap in the face to Des. Makes you wonder why the franchise doesn’t like her. Do people really care about Jade & Tanner? I can’t imagine that their wedding will bring in big ratings. The weddings are always boring anyway. If ABC was smart they would show 10 minutes of the wedding, and then film the reception with everyone getting drunk.

  8. valadega

    January 12, 2016 at 5:41 PM

    ABC probably went all in thinking they were going to have to spend a wad of cash for a big splashy wedding for Andi and Josh and they totally ignored Des & Chris due to their financial bottom line. Then Josh suddenly dumped Andi and the embarrassed ABC probably hates his guts and NEVER EVEN considered Josh for the next Bachelor gig! I have a feeling they won’t EVER make that kind of mistake again!

  9. kimmyfromdablock

    January 12, 2016 at 6:50 PM

    I agree with you @rob22, it really is boring and formulaic, yet I continue to watch. I watch back on my DVR because I can’t stand to watch this thing with the wasted time of commercial breaks. I used to be stealth about ending my fast forwarding just as the show begins, but now I lazily fast forward until something catches my eye to tell me to stop. In other words, I miss a lot and I really don’t care because it’s easy to get the basic gist. I fast forwarded through much of the high school nonsense.

    That was such an over analyzation of a simple thought that I believe I’ve become Steve.

  10. nicolette

    January 12, 2016 at 7:02 PM

    Regarding Jade and Tanner’s wedding:
    On Sunday, they both had Instagram posts of them in Crate & Barrel doing their registry. So out of curiosity, I searched for them on the Crate & Barrel registry database and it came up and shows their wedding date as 4/24/16.

  11. kmannone723

    January 12, 2016 at 7:08 PM

    interesting but they could be having 2 ceremonies 1 televised for bachelor nation and 1 private just for family.

  12. kmannone723

    January 12, 2016 at 7:11 PM

    @Rob I agree with you on the snooze fest. I wonder if it’s a trend whenever a Ben is a bachelor it’s snooze fest. Although maybe they picked the wrong Ben I thought Ben W would have been a better choice.

  13. hayleyyy

    January 12, 2016 at 8:50 PM

    Jade linked to their public wedding website in her Instagram. It was a little cheesy, but very much in line with the Janner brand of being all-American sweethearts, etc. The only thing I found really off-putting was that they had a whole section for gifts and their registry, which includes Hatch My House, a donation website where your “gift” goes towards the new home they’re trying to build. Just seems so tacky to publicly ask for people to help pay for your new, undoubtedly expensive home, especially when we know they’ve already made lots of money from their BIP and Bachelor-adjacent events, as well as all their sponsored IG posts, AND their televised wedding. Just think that buying 4-acres and building your dream home should be your sole financial responsibilities, not your fans. Ugh.

  14. ladyjane747

    January 12, 2016 at 9:57 PM

    Got around to watching episode 2 tonight. Olivia’s mouth is off-puttingly HUGE. Why is it always hanging open? She’s sort of like Courtney (winning!) but not as funny. Lauren H. looks like Laura Dern. Lauren B. has a super thin upper lip that disappears when she smiles. Would like to see her and Chris Soules kiss! Sam was too insecure and she had that raspy voice going on. Caila sort of reminds me of the girl who was vying for the Bachelorette with Kaitlyn. Can’t even remember her name now!

  15. dakattack

    January 13, 2016 at 5:01 AM

    It’s “drivel,” not “dribble.”

  16. angelfish

    January 13, 2016 at 5:56 AM

    The rabid fans who thought Kaitlyn would be an “amazing” Bachelorette were proved wrong by the skank factor she brought in. Now the same ones who though Ben would be an “amazing” bachelor are being bored to death. When will people learn to manage those wild expectations?

    So Jade & Tanner posted their wedding registry publicly – nice gift grab. Seriously, that’s crass and greedy. Keep that stuff private for your friends & family.

  17. rob22

    January 13, 2016 at 5:59 AM

    The whole issue around the “drama” is that Olivia’s just playing a producer inspired role. It’s so phony looking. And I really do feel sorry for Lace. The poor girl is in way over her head. She’s like the deluded horrible singers that American Idol trots out for mockery. It’s one thing if someone is just a horrible, arrogant, mean human being & steps in a huge pile of it. Then everyone rightly piles on. But to pick damaged humans and trot them out in front of the camera for mockery is just wrong. For that reason, I can’t mock her. It’s unbelievable that they’ve forced Ben to keep her around this long for a continued story line. She should have received a more painless exit after night 1, starring as the drunk girl.

  18. rob22

    January 13, 2016 at 6:08 AM

    @ladyjane: nice visual on Chris Soules and Olivia kissing. Not sure how I’m going to rid myself of that image. It’s horrifying.

    So, I watched that Bachelor Live show last night. OMG. They had that stuttering m/f Old MacDonald giving his commentary (painfully given) along with (wow) the Princess of Darkness, Kris Jenner. I told you the Bachelor Apocalypse is upon us. You have a parody show that’s going on it’s second season, a Bachelor blogger with a barely functioning website getting interviewed by seemingly the entire US media, and now, not only has the show employed a stutterer to provide commentary, but simultaneously invited the Great Satan of Reality TV to be part of the show. Stock up on dry goods, dig a cellar and buy an Uzi. The end is near.

  19. smurfette22

    January 13, 2016 at 7:49 AM

    Olivia is a terrible human being. And with her facial expressions/huge mouth, she’s not even pretty anymore.

    I feel bad for Lace too. At first, I thought she would be a mean girl. Now I think she’s just an insecure girl who puts up a mean front.

    I like Jubilee, but what I don’t like is that she assumed that by telling Ben about her childhood would secure her the date rose. She’s kind of exploiting herself.

    Sam reminds me of this manager I once had. I felt bad for her when he called her sour. He could have used a much nicer word. Maybe her perfume isn’t right for her body chemistry.

    And I don’t like Jennifer’s eyebrows. I know that’s a petty thing to pick on, but they are super bushy and they are all I look at when I see her.

    I respect LB’s exit. Plain and simple.

  20. kimmyfromdablock

    January 13, 2016 at 10:12 AM

    @rob22…..your last post. Thanks for the laugh. So true, all of it.

  21. shouldbeworking

    January 13, 2016 at 11:40 AM

    I wish we could reply to an individual post – like on Facebook. It would save a lot of scrolling down and re-reading posts.
    Anyway, Olivia’s HUGE mouth was so ugly. All I could think of is someone could put their fist right in there! I liked her on Episode 1, but last night the ugly came out.

  22. rile9995

    January 13, 2016 at 1:45 PM

    Steve, I do enjoy your site. But very frustrated with all the adds. I kept getting redirected to advertising sites and would have to log out and back in 5 times. So, I didn’t read your update. Hope you get this changed. So frustrating.

  23. aslucas

    January 13, 2016 at 3:55 PM

    I’m so happy you guys noticed Olivia’s huge mouth, too. It is so distracting.

  24. canadiank8

    January 13, 2016 at 4:00 PM

    Hey Steve, you should include some clips in your recaps! This site has a bunch of them up from the first two episode: http://bachgifs.com

  25. canon

    January 15, 2016 at 2:49 PM

    My guess is that during the after show on Valentine’s day, Chris will marry them on air. It won’t be super fancy or an elaborate dinner for a hundred people, but just a pretty, simple, outdoor wedding, glass of champagne toast, then they will go off camera so the couple can celebrate with their families. That’s my guess. Even if it doesn’t happen on V-Day, it’ll happen on the aftershow after one of the Monday night episodes.

  26. canon

    January 15, 2016 at 3:03 PM

    Caila isn’t exactly what people had in mind for an ethnic bachelor or bachelorette. She’s only half Filipino so not exactly ‘non-white’ as she is half white and her features look it. Doesn’t matter to me either way, just saying it’s kind of a cheap pacifier. How is it any different than the two Canadians we had?

  27. serapa

    January 19, 2016 at 6:02 AM

    That Olivia girl is so mean! Beautiful on the outside and wretched inside. What a vile soul. Even with a bad edit excuse, she’s an awful person! Hope she enjoys her life because karma is a bitch and beauty will fade even with all the fillers and botox she can afford.

  28. serapa

    January 19, 2016 at 6:10 AM

    I don’t think Ben is boring…he just seems like a very nice person and drama sells. Ben is more like Sean…they are just good people who play it safe.

    Ben is also very young…he’s a kid really when you compare him to the other leads and he’s handling himself very well. He is acting like he has self respect and respect for women.

    Ben, you’re better off being called boring than a Juan Pablo or a playboy. You can walk away with the wonderful experiences and the money and be a better person for it.

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