Reality Steve

The Bachelor 20 - Ben

The “Bachelor” Episode 2 Recap Incl A Spreadsheet of Contestants Ages, & Next “Bachelorette” Talk from ABC, Fleiss

Photo Credit: ABC

-The next group date was at the American Cement Building, a place I’d never heard of. Olivia, Emily, Haley, Sam, Amanda, and Shushanna walk in only to be greeted by some creepy doctor on an iphone and a motor scooter directing them through hallways. It’s almost like this was the setup to a joke, “4 blondes, a Russian, and a single mom walk into lab…” I would’ve run the other way, personally, but hey, it’s TV. They can’t. They arrive into a room with everyone wearing lab coats, including Ben, and are told they are part of the Love Lab, where they run tests to determine love. Like, STD tests? Is that what they’re talking about? Something about this date was ultra creepy, and that’s not even including the doctor who seemed waaaaaaaay into his work. Almost too much. This guy gets to watch a bunch of random strangers get intimate with each other and chart it? Something a tad off about that, no?

-He runs the women through a bunch of tests to see how love compatible they are with Ben. First one was retinal tracking to see what women focused on when shown pictures. The only one we really saw was pics of Sean Lowe and Ben side to side because, well, apparently they’re twins the way the show is promoting him. And whoever it was focused on Ben a lot more. Probably a good thing. The next test was of odors and Ben had to smell the women to determine their scent. Either Emily or Haley (I still can’t tell them apart) was “flowery,” Amanda was “beachy,” Shushanna was “very flowery,” the other twin had a “fruit aroma,” Olivia was “very sweet,” and Sam smelled like hot garbage. Or “sour” as Ben put it. Hey, lets go easy on Sam. We all know she was wearing Victoria’s Secret latest fragrance, “Heavenly Sour.” It’s flying off the shelves, didn’t you know this? Ben just doesn’t have the nose for quality fragrances. Shame on him. Personally, I’m down with Tease, Bombshell, and Very Sexy.

-In the least surprising test results you could’ve imagined, Olivia had the highest score of 7.45 out of 10, and Sam had the lowest with a score of 2.42. I wonder if VS will now shut down production of all “Heavenly Sour” bottles? It’s possible. On to the cocktail party where Miss Olivia Caridi will now become the most talked about contestant for the next 4 episodes. He takes Olivia back to his hotel room where he stays so they can recreate when they were in the infrared room nose-to-nose. They did it again in the room, but this time made out with each other making Olivia #5 for the night. We see him having quick conversations with two other girls, Sam and Shushanna. He apologizes to Sam for telling her she basically smelled like 5 day old Chinese food, and now changes it to passion fruit. Way to cover your ass, Ben. How one goes from sour to passion fruit is beyond me. You’ve already knocked Sam’s self-esteem down about 10 notches after the sour crack. Not sure how much passion fruit is gonna change that. As for Shushanna, she tells Ben she came to the US with $500, a couple pairs of shoes, and a bottle of vodka. What she failed to mention was being sent here on a mission from Putin to infiltrate American television and begins plans for Russia to take over the world. Maybe that comes out next episode.

-His next chat was with Amanda where she finally tells him she’s a mom to two little girls, Kinsley and Charlie. Ben seems at ease with this telling her that “kids don’t scare me,” even though he admits he’s never been in a relationship with someone who has them. Amanda’s story endeared herself enough to Ben that she becomes lucky recipient #6 of his tongue in a 3 day span. Congratulations Amanda! You must feel special. So really the only two options at this point to get the group date rose were Amanda and Olivia, you know, the only two girls he kissed on this date, and he ends up giving the rose to Olivia. This didn’t sit well with Amanda who has already begun crying and almost feels like it was a slap in the face to open herself up about her family, kiss him, then have him give a rose for a second consecutive week to Olivia. I’m guessing they set up this mini feud between Amanda and Olivia now because we know what’s coming in episode 5 when Olivia makes the “Teen Mom” comment. Granted, I think both are pretty much over it at this point, but back in October when it happened, it was a bigger deal.

-The cocktail party begins and its Ben’s time to talk to women who didn’t get much, or any time with him this week – except Olivia and Lace. But we’ll get to them in a second. He first meets with Leah who he gives his jacket to because he’s Perfect Ben, and she tells him she’s “excited to be here” two times in a :20 conversation that we see. Maybe Olivia should’ve just started reeling off Denver Bronco players, or maybe talked about all the Denver hot spots she visits rather than sit there and say nothing other than she’s excited to be there and can’t wait to get to know him better. Just my personal advice. Take it or leave it, but hey, I’m here to help. Maybe these people should take my advice before they leave for the show, rather than during when it can’t really help them at all. Then again, if anyone ever asked for my help before the show I’d tell them not to do it, but that’s another matter.

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28 Comments

28 Comments

  1. angelfish

    January 12, 2016 at 11:48 AM

    So Jade & Tanner have been engaged less time than Kaitlyn and Shawn, yet THEY are getting a televised ABC wedding.

    That’s some nice karma right there. And a reward for doing things the right way, rather than the Kaitlyn way.

    Big congrats to Jade & Tanner.

  2. aslucas

    January 12, 2016 at 12:25 PM

    I can’t believe Steve didn’t comment on how HUGE Olivia’s mouth looked when she was gaping about wanting / expecting the first 1 on 1. Coupled with her sense of entitlement… not attractive.

  3. kmannone723

    January 12, 2016 at 1:11 PM

    @aslucas he probably didn’t comment because it becomes her undoing in a few more weeks. @angelfish interesting point however even des & chris didn’t get a televised wedding. I noticed for Sean & Catherine they seemed to focus on the sex room more than the ceremony itself so I’m sure Kaitlyn will get a televised ceremony when she finally gets it together. heck if they name Becca as a bachelorlette she’s almost a lock for a televised wedding.

  4. rob22

    January 12, 2016 at 2:37 PM

    I don’t go on the other Bachelor boards, but to me, Becca doesn’t seem like a big deal this time around. Probably the crazies still like her, but I’m backing down off the Becca will be the Bachelorette thought.

    It does seem like it’s lining up for Caila a bit better. What better way for the show to slide in a “diverse person” than to get a half white, half Filipino. That would be typical for the show & would allow them to skirt the issue without having an actual African American person or anyone fully “ethnic” be the lead. Especially after the disaster of Juan Pah-Blow, who btw, was a white Hispanic, obviously of Spanish/European decent, not an indigenous person. The show is way too change averse to put in a really diverse person. But a half Asian person, I could see them doing that.

  5. rob22

    January 12, 2016 at 2:39 PM

    BTW: I write about The Bachelorette because there really isn’t anything remotely interesting going on this season. It’s so boilerplate with everyone playing their roles. Is this season just a complete write off snooze fest, or is it just me? I’m already over it. I need something, ANYTHING to keep my interest.

  6. hurricaneemily

    January 12, 2016 at 4:04 PM

    Hey, Steve.

    I’m only skimming your recaps because I’m trying to avoid your spoilers. You’re right 99% of the time! I am looking forward to seeing what you got right at the end and being filled in on all the dirt at the end though.

    I was happy to hear about Jade and Tanner getting married. I’m almost always able to tell when a couple will get married and when they won’t. I say “almost” because I predicted Shawn and Kaitlyn would not get married and they’re still together though no wedding plans are in the works.

    Here’s my recap for episode 2: http://cafeemily.com/bachelor-2016-episode-2-recap/

  7. justforfun

    January 12, 2016 at 4:12 PM

    It’s not just you, Rob, it is a snooze fest thanks to boring Ben. He seems to have zero personality.

    ABC televising Jade & Tanner’s wedding is a real slap in the face to Des. Makes you wonder why the franchise doesn’t like her. Do people really care about Jade & Tanner? I can’t imagine that their wedding will bring in big ratings. The weddings are always boring anyway. If ABC was smart they would show 10 minutes of the wedding, and then film the reception with everyone getting drunk.

  8. valadega

    January 12, 2016 at 5:41 PM

    ABC probably went all in thinking they were going to have to spend a wad of cash for a big splashy wedding for Andi and Josh and they totally ignored Des & Chris due to their financial bottom line. Then Josh suddenly dumped Andi and the embarrassed ABC probably hates his guts and NEVER EVEN considered Josh for the next Bachelor gig! I have a feeling they won’t EVER make that kind of mistake again!

  9. kimmyfromdablock

    January 12, 2016 at 6:50 PM

    I agree with you @rob22, it really is boring and formulaic, yet I continue to watch. I watch back on my DVR because I can’t stand to watch this thing with the wasted time of commercial breaks. I used to be stealth about ending my fast forwarding just as the show begins, but now I lazily fast forward until something catches my eye to tell me to stop. In other words, I miss a lot and I really don’t care because it’s easy to get the basic gist. I fast forwarded through much of the high school nonsense.

    That was such an over analyzation of a simple thought that I believe I’ve become Steve.

  10. nicolette

    January 12, 2016 at 7:02 PM

    Regarding Jade and Tanner’s wedding:
    On Sunday, they both had Instagram posts of them in Crate & Barrel doing their registry. So out of curiosity, I searched for them on the Crate & Barrel registry database and it came up and shows their wedding date as 4/24/16.

  11. kmannone723

    January 12, 2016 at 7:08 PM

    interesting but they could be having 2 ceremonies 1 televised for bachelor nation and 1 private just for family.

  12. kmannone723

    January 12, 2016 at 7:11 PM

    @Rob I agree with you on the snooze fest. I wonder if it’s a trend whenever a Ben is a bachelor it’s snooze fest. Although maybe they picked the wrong Ben I thought Ben W would have been a better choice.

  13. hayleyyy

    January 12, 2016 at 8:50 PM

    Jade linked to their public wedding website in her Instagram. It was a little cheesy, but very much in line with the Janner brand of being all-American sweethearts, etc. The only thing I found really off-putting was that they had a whole section for gifts and their registry, which includes Hatch My House, a donation website where your “gift” goes towards the new home they’re trying to build. Just seems so tacky to publicly ask for people to help pay for your new, undoubtedly expensive home, especially when we know they’ve already made lots of money from their BIP and Bachelor-adjacent events, as well as all their sponsored IG posts, AND their televised wedding. Just think that buying 4-acres and building your dream home should be your sole financial responsibilities, not your fans. Ugh.

  14. ladyjane747

    January 12, 2016 at 9:57 PM

    Got around to watching episode 2 tonight. Olivia’s mouth is off-puttingly HUGE. Why is it always hanging open? She’s sort of like Courtney (winning!) but not as funny. Lauren H. looks like Laura Dern. Lauren B. has a super thin upper lip that disappears when she smiles. Would like to see her and Chris Soules kiss! Sam was too insecure and she had that raspy voice going on. Caila sort of reminds me of the girl who was vying for the Bachelorette with Kaitlyn. Can’t even remember her name now!

  15. dakattack

    January 13, 2016 at 5:01 AM

    It’s “drivel,” not “dribble.”

  16. angelfish

    January 13, 2016 at 5:56 AM

    The rabid fans who thought Kaitlyn would be an “amazing” Bachelorette were proved wrong by the skank factor she brought in. Now the same ones who though Ben would be an “amazing” bachelor are being bored to death. When will people learn to manage those wild expectations?

    So Jade & Tanner posted their wedding registry publicly – nice gift grab. Seriously, that’s crass and greedy. Keep that stuff private for your friends & family.

  17. rob22

    January 13, 2016 at 5:59 AM

    The whole issue around the “drama” is that Olivia’s just playing a producer inspired role. It’s so phony looking. And I really do feel sorry for Lace. The poor girl is in way over her head. She’s like the deluded horrible singers that American Idol trots out for mockery. It’s one thing if someone is just a horrible, arrogant, mean human being & steps in a huge pile of it. Then everyone rightly piles on. But to pick damaged humans and trot them out in front of the camera for mockery is just wrong. For that reason, I can’t mock her. It’s unbelievable that they’ve forced Ben to keep her around this long for a continued story line. She should have received a more painless exit after night 1, starring as the drunk girl.

  18. rob22

    January 13, 2016 at 6:08 AM

    @ladyjane: nice visual on Chris Soules and Olivia kissing. Not sure how I’m going to rid myself of that image. It’s horrifying.

    So, I watched that Bachelor Live show last night. OMG. They had that stuttering m/f Old MacDonald giving his commentary (painfully given) along with (wow) the Princess of Darkness, Kris Jenner. I told you the Bachelor Apocalypse is upon us. You have a parody show that’s going on it’s second season, a Bachelor blogger with a barely functioning website getting interviewed by seemingly the entire US media, and now, not only has the show employed a stutterer to provide commentary, but simultaneously invited the Great Satan of Reality TV to be part of the show. Stock up on dry goods, dig a cellar and buy an Uzi. The end is near.

  19. smurfette22

    January 13, 2016 at 7:49 AM

    Olivia is a terrible human being. And with her facial expressions/huge mouth, she’s not even pretty anymore.

    I feel bad for Lace too. At first, I thought she would be a mean girl. Now I think she’s just an insecure girl who puts up a mean front.

    I like Jubilee, but what I don’t like is that she assumed that by telling Ben about her childhood would secure her the date rose. She’s kind of exploiting herself.

    Sam reminds me of this manager I once had. I felt bad for her when he called her sour. He could have used a much nicer word. Maybe her perfume isn’t right for her body chemistry.

    And I don’t like Jennifer’s eyebrows. I know that’s a petty thing to pick on, but they are super bushy and they are all I look at when I see her.

    I respect LB’s exit. Plain and simple.

  20. kimmyfromdablock

    January 13, 2016 at 10:12 AM

    @rob22…..your last post. Thanks for the laugh. So true, all of it.

  21. shouldbeworking

    January 13, 2016 at 11:40 AM

    I wish we could reply to an individual post – like on Facebook. It would save a lot of scrolling down and re-reading posts.
    Anyway, Olivia’s HUGE mouth was so ugly. All I could think of is someone could put their fist right in there! I liked her on Episode 1, but last night the ugly came out.

  22. rile9995

    January 13, 2016 at 1:45 PM

    Steve, I do enjoy your site. But very frustrated with all the adds. I kept getting redirected to advertising sites and would have to log out and back in 5 times. So, I didn’t read your update. Hope you get this changed. So frustrating.

  23. aslucas

    January 13, 2016 at 3:55 PM

    I’m so happy you guys noticed Olivia’s huge mouth, too. It is so distracting.

  24. canadiank8

    January 13, 2016 at 4:00 PM

    Hey Steve, you should include some clips in your recaps! This site has a bunch of them up from the first two episode: http://bachgifs.com

  25. canon

    January 15, 2016 at 2:49 PM

    My guess is that during the after show on Valentine’s day, Chris will marry them on air. It won’t be super fancy or an elaborate dinner for a hundred people, but just a pretty, simple, outdoor wedding, glass of champagne toast, then they will go off camera so the couple can celebrate with their families. That’s my guess. Even if it doesn’t happen on V-Day, it’ll happen on the aftershow after one of the Monday night episodes.

  26. canon

    January 15, 2016 at 3:03 PM

    Caila isn’t exactly what people had in mind for an ethnic bachelor or bachelorette. She’s only half Filipino so not exactly ‘non-white’ as she is half white and her features look it. Doesn’t matter to me either way, just saying it’s kind of a cheap pacifier. How is it any different than the two Canadians we had?

  27. serapa

    January 19, 2016 at 6:02 AM

    That Olivia girl is so mean! Beautiful on the outside and wretched inside. What a vile soul. Even with a bad edit excuse, she’s an awful person! Hope she enjoys her life because karma is a bitch and beauty will fade even with all the fillers and botox she can afford.

  28. serapa

    January 19, 2016 at 6:10 AM

    I don’t think Ben is boring…he just seems like a very nice person and drama sells. Ben is more like Sean…they are just good people who play it safe.

    Ben is also very young…he’s a kid really when you compare him to the other leads and he’s handling himself very well. He is acting like he has self respect and respect for women.

    Ben, you’re better off being called boring than a Juan Pablo or a playboy. You can walk away with the wonderful experiences and the money and be a better person for it.

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