-So this was definitely a different start to the show. Usually we get just the girls sitting around a date card arriving, or Chris Harrison dropping it off, but before we got that, we immediately start in with a conversation between Amanda and Lauren B. talking about Olivia, and how she spent $40k on clothes for this season. I wasn’t there. I have no idea what Olivia said. But something tells me two girls aren’t going to randomly make up a ridiculous number like $40k unless Olivia said it. Obviously showing this whole conversation was just a set up for the rest of the episode (and the next three episodes really) being all about Olivia. We can already see where this is headed. But back to the wardrobe budget…ummmmm, WHAT? $40k for 2 months of filming? Is she Angelina Jolie or something? What kind of irrational shopper is she? What sugar daddy does she have that’s dropping 40 dimes on her for clothes? Either Olivia threw that number out there to try and impress the other girls and it was complete BS, or, she really did spend that much, which in turn makes her beyond capable of every owning a credit card. Or Daddy Big Bucks, Dr. Robert Caridi of Westlake Plastic Surgery, gave her a weekly allowance to go splurge.
-The first 1-on-1 date of the episode goes to Lauren B., the flight attendant. Once she’s ready, we see that she and Ben are wearing matching color tops, basically becoming the Power Blue Puff twins for the day, and it’s all kinds of creepy. Ben takes her on a drive to the Camarillo airport where a biplane awaits them. See what they did there? The airline waitress gets the plane date. Now, contrary to popular belief, a biplane is NOT a plane that has sex with both men and women. It’s a plane that does stunts in the air, and also most notably, was the plane that Brandon, Steve, Jonathan Kasten, and Joe Bradley took for a spin during junior year of college on “BH 90210.” But Joe had a heart condition, he passed out after the fact, they kept it quiet from Donna, Joe ended up having to quit being QB of the fictitious California University football team, thus ending his career, making him mope around the rest of the season, and he ended up eventually dumping Donna to go back to Beaver Falls, PA to be a high school football coach. Then Donna eventually got back with David. Again.
-Now that you’re all caught on season 6 of BH 90210, back to this show. While in the biplane, Ben and the Air Cart Girl fly over the mansion while all the girls hanging around at the pool notice them. You know, because producers said, “Hey girls, go outside. Ben and Lauren will be flying overhead in 3…2…1” A lot of the girls are bummed they aren’t on this date. Especially Olivia. Probably because if she were in the biplane, there’s a good chance she would’ve dumped a bucket of cement out of the plane hoping it landed on every girl at the pool, all while she cackled like the Wicked Witch of the East riding away on her broomstick. We aren’t a few days removed from Caila’s 1-on-1 with Ice Cube and Kevin Hart, yet we get a cutaway to Caila and Jojo talking on the back porch with Caila crying about how difficult this process is to see Ben date other women. Although you could argue that those were two separate conversations happening and they made it seem like Caila and JoJo were talking. Caila, the girl who dumped her boyfriend to go on this show, is now upset that Ben is interested in other people. That is hilariously ironic and also crazy embarrassing for her. Get yourself together, girl. You’ve been on ONE DATE with the guy and you’re crying, already? Then again, her senior prom was like a month ago, so I guess that makes sense.
-Back to Ben and the Trolley Dolly, they land somewhere in the mountains, he gives her a piggyback ride in the middle of nowhere, and whaddya’ know, a magical hot tub appears. No, not because “Jaccuzi’s Hot Tubs” needed some sort of plug, but just so we could see yet another date that has a hot tub in it. We’re now 2-for-2 this season. Stay tuned, #3 is coming up. These two enjoy their time in the hot tub, talking about nothing, giggling, kissing, giggling some more, kissing, and….ahhhhhhh hell. Can we fast forward to episode 11 now? As I’ve said, some seasons are easier than others when it comes to spoilers. This one was one of the easy ones. But lets not be mistaken. Ben and Lauren aren’t together because of anything that was shown last night. They are together because he proposed to her on Nov. 18th in Jamaica. Anyone can make a case for any other girl he’s on a 1-on-1 date if you didn’t know the spoilers (well, maybe except Jubilee), but it’s obvious who he likes and who he doesn’t. I’m sure those who still think the spoiler is wrong will watch JoJo’s 1-on-1 next week and make an argument it’s her. Or Becca and think it’s her. It’s not. Ben and the In Flight Bouncer are together and engaged. No need to overanalyze anything.
-These two sit down for dinner at the Camarillo Ranch House, which based on a Google search, is a 6,000 square foot Victorian home built in 1892 where a lot of weddings are held. It is here where Ben and the Space Waitress get seriously deep. He asks her what she enjoys in life. Lauren: “I like really simple things…come from very grounded family…my dad got excited cutting the grass.” A generic, plain, boring answer that practically puts everyone to sleep. In her video package, she mentioned to us she’s a total beach girl. Why wouldn’t she just say that? Nothing wrong with telling Ben you enjoy the beach life, even though he’s in the mountains of Colorado and there isn’t a beach anywhere close, and if they’re gonna live together that….ahhhh screw it. I’m getting ahead of myself. But anyway, yeah, the Cart Tart just likes simple things in life, Ben has no idea why she’s still single, and she tells him it’s because she’s picky. Translation: I’m going to play hard to get now the rest of the season. Come get me, big boy.
-The Mile High Maiden tells Ben that “there’s no place I’d rather be right now,” which is just this show’s hyperbole at its finest. Really? No other place in the world anywhere? You could have your choice to be anywhere and you’d pick the Camarillo Ranch House with Ben? Oh sister, you need to expand your horizons. Or maybe she knew what was coming next. Because after last week’s explosive private concert date he had with Caila as
Taylor Swift Amos Lee performed, this week, somehow her schedule had an opening and The Queen, Beyonce Lucy Angel serenaded them with a barn concert. Somewhere Chris Soules is aroused by this. Lucy Angel? Hey, is she related to Whitney Bischoff’s new boyfriend Criss Angel, or whatever the hell his name is? Ricky Angel. That’s it. Sounds like the lead singer of a hair metal cover band. Oh yeah, the Pilot Nanny got the rose.