Short week this week. I’m here today and tomorrow, then leave for Vegas Wednesday morning so there won’t be any updates from Wednesday through next Monday. Tomorrow will be strictly a “Bachelorette” update. With a date tonight in PA where the group Dan + Shay will perform for JoJo and her date in front of an audience, expect there to be a lot of pictures on social media tonight, so follow me on Twitter if you want up-to-date photos on who she’s with. Maybe it’s somebody I’ve already given you, maybe it isn’t. We’ll find out tonight. Or maybe it’s someone I’ll be revealing tomorrow as I’ll be releasing a few more guys from JoJo’s season. You already know one of them, and that’s James Taylor, who she took on Thursday’s 1-on-1 swing dancing date in Culver City. I’ll have some more info on him in his bio tomorrow along with a few more guys. Haven’t decided how many more I’m gonna release tomorrow. You’ll get at least 3. As is always the case around this time in filming, I’ve got a few guys bios ready to go, I’ve got a few guys faces but no name, and I’ve got a few first names with faces, but no bio because I don’t have their last name. It’s still early. It’ll all become clearer as we move forward. It always does.
-OMG you guys! JoJo’s ex Chad stole $100 from Nordstrom’s 13 years ago! He’s a menace to society! Someone put that man behind bars with the pedophiles, drug lords, and murderers. Seriously? That’s all you can dig up on the guy? That’s not a story, Radar. I’m sorry. I don’t even know the guy and I’ve heard worse stories than that. C’mon, you can do better. Well, maybe you can’t.
-Over the years a lot of you have asked a lot of beauty questions regarding the female contestants on the “Bachelor.” Like what do they pack, how many dresses do they bring, how do they know what to wear, do they have stylists, etc. Well, six former contestants answered those questions and more in this interview. Basically, here’s all the answers you’ve been looking for.
–Batman vs Superman may have gotten horrible reviews, but it killed at the box office over the weekend raking in over $170 million, making it the fifth biggest domestic opening ever. For months I was excited about this movie, but I didn’t see it this weekend. And based on what I’m hearing, I’m surely not missing much. Zack Snyder apparently just butchered the whole franchise that Christopher Nolan did so well to revitalize. Great. Way to go, Zack. Damn you.
-What post-Easter column would this be if it didn’t include Taylor Swift having an easter egg fight with her brother? Is this some sort of popular Easter game that I’m just missing out on? Because not only have I never played this game, but I had never even seen it before every news outlet ran with it this weekend when Taylor posted it to Instagram. Man, these two must be easily entertained. Then again, if Taylor asked me to play it with her, I’d be running to the store buying my dozen eggs faster than you could say “Welcome to New York.”
-Ok, this is just weird. We know older men in Hollywood (and in general) like dating younger women. But a 31 year age gap? And with Jon Lovitz and the smoke show that used to be on 90210? Bizarre. Jessica Lowndes and Jon Jovitz revealed their relationship in a series of weird Instagram posts yesterday. This almost seems like it’s fake considering that in Hollywood circles, it’s been widely joked/assumed/insinuated that Jon Lovitz is gay. Anyway, he’s 58 and she’s 27. True love, I tell ya’.
-The Beek popped out another kid. Dawson Leary had his fourth child recently, a baby girl, to along with two other daughters and a son he already has. I guess since he missed out on Joey Potter, Dawson just decided to spread his seed around to whoever who bear his children. Is he still a little miffed Pacey ended up with his girl in the end?
-This is complete stunt casting if I’ve ever heard of it. And with “Idol” going off the air, I’m not sure what the “Voice” is thinking, but they pulled the trigger. Next season, Miley Cyrus and Alicia Keys will replace Christina and Pharrell as judges alongside Adam and Blake. Miley? Really? I’m sure people will tune in for the train wreck factor, but I don’t see why they felt the need to make this move. Especially when they’ll be the only singing show on the block come next fall.
-Creepy mom alert! As if Courtney Stodden wasn’t already f****d up enough as it is, now we hear that her ex-husband Doug once wanted a threesome with her and her mom. Of course he did. Would we expect anything less from that completely bizarre family? Hell, if Doug didn’t ask for a threesome I wouldn’ve been stunned. Then again, there’s also a good chance mommy was so strung out on something, she might’ve made this whole thing up. Basically when it comes to the Stodden’s, you rule nothing out.
-Hayden Panettiere, fresh off her PPD rehab, has jumped back into the commercial scene as she joins the likes of Paris Hilton and Charlotte McKinney by pimping Carl’s Jr burgers in a new ad campaign. I love how Carl Jr’s is able to rope these women into “eating” their burgers when it’s the last thing any of these girls would ever eat. And enjoy it as much as they pretend to enjoy it in the commercial. You’d think a Carl Jr’s burger could give a woman an orgasm if you went strictly off those commercials. My guess is they don’t. Certainly didn’t for me, but hey, maybe their special sauce works as an aphrodisiac.
-Did you see this story that went viral recently? A newborn baby basically has the greatest head of hair ever. Amazing. Like, how did a baby come out looking like that? And someone might want to check to see if this lady was impregnated by Ron Burgundy. There are zero doubts that kid will now get some serious run in commercials and ads with that lettuce. I’m in awe of that hair. Probably because I want it.
-McDonald’s is going through some mid-life crisis or something. Kinda like Jon Lovitz. Anyway, last year they finally came around after 100 years and started serving breakfast all day. Then we had the story last week saying they’re going to start having a rewards program for loyal customers. Now, it looks like they’re changing their slogan. “Ba da bah bah bah, I’m lovin it” is apparently out, and “The Simpler the Better” is in. Whatever. Their slogan could be “Our food is awful for you” and I’d still get my sausage mcmuffin with egg once a week. I will never quit you Mickey D’s. Don’t change.
-I’ve never watched “Teen Mom” or “Teen Mom 2” for that matter. I’ve just seen the dregs of society that the show has produced. Now one of them is upset with MTV at the edit she got. Leah Messer complaining about the editing she’s receiving on a reality TV show should probably be the least of her concerns at this point considering what a f****ng hot mess she’s become. The fact that anyone even knows your name Leah is all in part to MTV. Just reading this story, you can only sit back and laugh at these people. Totally clueless.
-Yesterday was Easter, meaning a lot of people probably took their kids to an Easter egg hunt somewhere. And it was probably fun for all involved. Unless of course, you went to one in Connecticut that left people bloodied and headed to the hospital. And these were the KIDS. Let me tell you something, if you’re an adult and you’re pushing and shoving kids at an Easter egg hunt, then you are a bonafide loser. You should have your parent privileges revoked after doing something that stupid.
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