Reality Steve

The Bachelorette 12 - JoJo

The “Bachelorette” JoJo Episode 1 Recap – Incl the Jordan Backlash, Ashley & JP (UPDATED), & “Bachelor in Paradise” Casting News

Photo Credit: ABC

The limo entrances were next. Here’s the order all 26 guys come out of the limo in: Jordan, Derek, Grant, James F., Robby, Alex, Will, Chad, Daniel, Ali, James T., Jon, Nick B., Chase, Jake, Sal, Coley, Brandon, James S., Nick S., Vinny, Peter, Evan, Wells, Christian, and Luke.

Not every guy did something to make an impression, but here were the ones that stood out to me:

Jordan first out told her that his parents got engaged after only dating a few months and they’ve been married 36 years. Yeah, but that’s probably because social media wasn’t around in the 70’s. Maybe your dad had a long line of women waiting to throw him under the bus like what’s about to happen to you.

Grant tells her “I’m not gonna do what Ben did to you last season. I’m not gonna fall in love with two girls.” Weeeellllll, I’m not so sure about that. It might actually be three girls. Seriously, I’m stunned at the amount of how many past ex’s are coming forward with nothing good to say about these guys.

Robby brings a bottle of wine and wants to drink it “Fletcher style,” which is straight from the bottle. JoJo is down for that. Of course she is. Robby will probably need to get her hammered to have her believe the B.S. he’s selling this season.

Will dropping his cue cards then saying “I am the most beautiful woman in the world” could’ve been funny, until now we know he likes humping blow up dolls.

Nick B. and the Santa gimmick was just, ummmmm, well let me just say it…f***ing stupid. Did we really need him “JoJoJo-ing” all night? We got it. Once was enough.

Sal got blue balled all right. Tried a play on words with his stress balls, but ended up being a metaphor for his night. You gets nothing and you will like it, Sal.

Brandon said he doesn’t watch the show and didn’t know a thing about JoJo. Perfect. Because that’s exactly the type of guy I’m sure she’s looking for. Couple that with your greasy, stringy hair, I can’t imagine why you aren’t engaged to her.

Wells bringing in All-4-One to sing “I Swear” was so disappointing. Really? Couldn’t come up with a better 90’s R&B group than that? I mean, I know Color Me Badd probably had a state fair they were performing at, but I think “I Wanna Sex You Up” would’ve worked way better on JoJo.
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14 Comments

14 Comments

  1. atjshelby

    May 24, 2016 at 11:40 AM

    Once a cheater, always a cheater!

  2. rob22

    May 24, 2016 at 12:06 PM

    We shouldn’t be surprised that a lot of the guys are extra douchey. You pretty much have to be a douche to be interested in going on the show. The ego needs to be pretty big & the need for attention has to be bigger. That’s a pretty good start towards being a douche

  3. DaRush

    May 24, 2016 at 12:10 PM

    I find it especially rich that everyone is saying “poor JoJo” when she is basically the female version of Jordan Rodgers. Didn’t she do the exact same thing with her ex boyfriend who she told Ben she was “completely done with” during her time on the show? She got sent home by Ben and went right back to the guy only to dump him when she found out she could be the next bachelorette. The two are PERFECT for each other.

  4. tbta4

    May 24, 2016 at 12:10 PM

    This has the potential to be the trashiest season yet. I am detecting that JoJo has a bit of a potty mouth and an off color sense of humor which should fit perfectly with this douchey group of guys. Should be epic. I also think she is pretty funny. It seems the editing is catching some of her more unguarded moments. Jillian could also have probably filled a highlight reel with off color and drunken observations, but the show was much more “buttoned up” back then.

    As an aside, I don’t think Jordan is the least bit attractive and his hair reminds me of a worse version of Jef Holm’s hair. What all these gals from his past saw in him , other than his famous brother, eludes me. His skinny legs in the skinny jeans was just a bad bad look too.

  5. angelfish

    May 24, 2016 at 12:32 PM

    Not everybody is saying “poor JoJo”. I think she’ll get exactly the guy she wants and she’ll have plenty of time to find out exactly what he’s all about.

    “Poor” JoJo was raised in an affluent family, had her sorority-girl education paid for an her own company handed to her. She’ll reap what she sows. I think she’s basically a decent person, but she’s not some disadvantaged woman who pulled herself up from the mean streets and carved out a life on her own. I think she wants a hot guy handed to her on a silver platter and I think that’s exactly what happens. It’s what the show is really about, so it’s win/win for everybody.

  6. DaRush

    May 24, 2016 at 12:48 PM

    Really? Did you read the article that Steve wrote? How about the two comments before mine?

  7. angelfish

    May 24, 2016 at 1:54 PM

    ^^ Neither comment above yours indicated any sympathy for JoJo or even mentioned her. Maybe do a re-read.

    And I didn’t detect any “poor JoJo” from Steve’s recap either. He really doesn’t care what these folks do to each other, nor should he. It’s not his job. He just reports on what he’s told and what he hears, then lets us know. He may give an occasional opinion, but that’s never what this site has been about.

  8. DaRush

    May 24, 2016 at 2:31 PM

    “Once a cheater, always a cheater!” Insinuates a “poor JoJo” attitude. She is taking Jordan Rodgers down and completely ignoring JoJo’s transgressions of the same type.

    Don’t forget, after it came out during Ben’s season that JoJo was with someone prior to the show, people were still standing up for JoJo and ignoring what she had done. Like the gist of my original comment said, If what Steve is reporting about the two of them is true they are PERFECT for each other because they are basically the same exact person with the same exact relationship morals.

  9. thedoctor

    May 24, 2016 at 7:27 PM

    Watching this scheiB right now. Wow, very under-whelming. Looks like my FF button is going to get a workout. Does seem like less gay guys than usual, but the doucheness is off the chart.

    I usually hate bachelorette, looks like that will not change this season. Bring on BIP!

  10. kimmyfromdablock

    May 24, 2016 at 8:55 PM

    The first thing I texted to my fellow watching best friend from childhood was — “lots of douche-y guys.”

    I thought Jordan was especially douche-tastic with his hair and his skinny jeans.

    My pick would’ve been James Taylor. Not conventionally good looking, but seemed to have an actual personality.

    Call me old, but that fade haircut with a hershey’s kiss shaped mop on top that is so popular with 20 somethings these days is the equivalent to a dude (non-cowboy type) wearing pointy toe’d cowboy boots. Nothing says “hello I’m a douchebag” like that look.

  11. samkwa

    May 24, 2016 at 9:53 PM

    I don’t doubt Jojo was playing along for the exposure. Choosing the highest profile guy plays perfectly into that. I’d say most of her drooling over Jordan was done for the cameras. She was going to pick him from night one, or whenever they had their alleged conversations beforehand. But I saw a constant bitchy & fake air about her last season, too.

    Good on the exes for sharing their side of the story. Why do someone a favor by keeping silent when they’ve decided to be public?

  12. realitysteveaddict

    May 24, 2016 at 10:20 PM

    Thanks for the numerous spoiling years. I thoroughly enjoyed your “predictions” (coz they really aren’t). I look forward for more spoilers from you. Anyway, I won’t be watching this season. Sorry #teamcaila over here. I’ll be back for BIP… so keep ’em coming!

    Good to know that ABC hasn’t lost their touch on casting douchetastic guys.

  13. tbta4

    May 25, 2016 at 8:26 AM

    Douchetastic is my new favorite word. Sums up the night perfectly.

  14. supersparklyday

    May 26, 2016 at 10:53 AM

    I am the one who called her “poor JoJo”, due to the dirty dog she picked. I could care less about her family being affluent or her being college-educated. Who cares? Get.over it.

    She picked the wrong guy, that’s it, that’s all. To be fair tho, abc didn’t give her much to choose from.

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