Up and posting early today because I have an early flight to Vegas. We’ve had one last second cancellation as of last night. So if you are close to Vegas, and you want to come to the party and can somehow get there by tomorrow night, contact me ASAP and I’ll put you on the confirmed list. Probably a long shot, but I had two spots open up last night so figured I’d extend the invite. For those that aren’t coming that want to follow along with the 2nd Annual Reality Steve Trivia Contest, find me on Periscope (@RealitySteve), as I will be broadcasting the contest live tomorrow night roughly around 9 or 9:15pm PST. So east coasters, sorry. But hey, don’t people not start going out in NY until like midnight anyway? Whatever the case, anyone can join in who wants to follow along. Sorry, no prizes for you though. Only those in attendance will have a chance. Last year it was $100 restaurant gift card at Mandalay Bay for 1st place, and $50 for 2nd place. Might change it up this year. Haven’t decided yet. Regardless, the top two finishers will get mentioned in next weeks column, and I will also post all the questions for those who don’t watch on Periscope Friday night.
We’re days away from the finale, and thank God for that. US Weekly can throw all the misdirection they want at you, but it doesn’t change what I reported back on May 19th. JoJo got engaged to Jordan. Are they still together now? Well, that’s the million dollar question. There’s been a lot of chatter surrounding these two for the last month. I will say this: If come Monday these two tell us on the ATFR they’re no longer together, I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised. And if they are together, I think they might just be telling us that to protect their pride. There’s just too many things I’ve heard over the past 3-4 weeks or so that suggest not everything is perfect in their world and they are ignoring all the haters. Whatever the case may be though, this doesn’t change what happened in Thailand. Nor does that leave the door open for any of the other guys. She’s not running back to Chase, or Luke, or Robby either. We’ll get our answer on Monday, but even a declaration of “Oh, we’re great. We don’t pay attention to the rumors and stuff,” I’d take with a grain of salt because, well, I don’t think that’s the case.
I know I told you yesterday that this is commonplace. I hear stuff like this every season about the final couple while the show is airing, and it never ends up being true. But this has been coming too loud and too often to ignore. I trust these sources who have told me this. Put it this way, I’ve had way more people tell they aren’t together anymore than ones that said they are. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, is saying everything is great, they’re in love, and things are working out perfectly. Everyone I’ve spoken to is skeptical of the whole thing. And lets just say some of these people are pretty close to the situation. This shouldn’t surprise anyone because, well, this is the same song I’ve been preaching to you since April. So lets see what they present to us on Monday. Anything along the lines of, “We’re great, things couldn’t be better” I will call B.S. on. To me, there’s just too many signs I’ve been given pointing to it being over, and the sources who have told me things don’t have anything to gain by telling me they’re broken up. Sorry to leave you in such suspense for the weekend, but I’m just telling you what I’ve been hearing. So just know that heading in to Monday night. It doesn’t look good for these two.
With that, enjoy your “Dr. Reality Steve” emails…
Hi Steve. I love your column and I have been reading for years. My story is true, and I wanted to ask for some advice, althought it might seem out there, althought with the craziness of the Bachelor series, my story might not seem so crazy.
I met my husband 13 years ago. We dated for a 1 year and then got engaged. I always wanted to wait until I got married to lose my virginity. We waited until our wedding night, but right before our wedding, my husband had a problem in a male area (trying to keep it professional and clean) and had to have surgery. After this, he was unable to maintain an erection at all. Since the surgery, we have never had sex. We have tried, but he physically can’t maintain an erection and is incapable of sleeping with me at all. I have been married for 11 years and I am still a virgin.
We turned to fertility to have children. I lied to everyone I knew saying we had fertility issues, but in reality there was no way we would ever be able to conceive with sex. I ended up having twins, and they are the lights of our lives.
Now, most people would think it’s unbelievable that I am a virgin at 35, married for 11 years and have twins, but honestly, it’s just what’s normal to me.
Our emotional intimacy is amazing. We communicate well, talk about everything, back each other up, parent together, and we get along really well. He’s sweet and does a lot for me like all the housework and he works hard. He’s a wonderful husband and father, but the problem is our romance is basically dead and we barely ever make out.
I have to always initiate sexual contact, and it usually involves him touching me with his finger, giving me an organism like once every two months, if that. He never initiates it, and it’s really starting to bug me. It always has. He never kisses me, hugs me, cuddles with me, holds hands with me or touches me. He will kiss me on the head at night or give me a hug, but only if I ask for it. He never wants me to touch him after he gives me an orgasm. Oral sex is out of the question.
I’ll be honest, I’m tired of the lack of physical intimacy and I have been forever, but he’s such a good person, I stay with him. Do you think I’m crazy to stay with someone who refuses to give me any physical touch? I have been trying to deal with it by going to the spa and getting regular massages, facials, and pedicures. I usually go on a weekly basis or more. This may seem weird, but it gives me the sense of touch that he doesn’t give me.
He works hard at his job, is an amazing father and husband, cooks and cleans, and really deep down does love and care for me, but I don’t ever seen myself leaving. However, the lack of physical intimacy has just become acceptable to me and I don’t even consider it part of our marriage anymore.
Do you think it’s only to be in my middle 30’s and be okay with no physical contact? I feel abnormal because all my friends have great sex lives, or so they claim. Should I stay with him and just keep going because i am happy honestly. I’m happy with my marriage. I love him very much and don’t want to leave him. My life is very content, but he is older than me by 11 years.
What’s your take on this?
Thanks, Virgin at 35
Comment: I think you are really missing out never having had sex at 35 and you HAVE a husband. Yes, it’s bizarre. Totally bizarre.
But like you said, it’s your normal. And by the looks of it, you sound like you’re happy. Isn’t that what matters most? You answered your own question. You love him and said you don’t want to leave him. As great as sex is and as much as you’re missing out, leaving your husband because of that would be idiotic. You’re in a good spot, there are WAY worse marriages than yours.
I’m still shaking my head at this. Like, I can’t believe this is possible. But hey, you’re happy, so obviously you can get by. Maybe your friends are having great sex lives, but doesn’t necessarily mean they are happier.
I hope I’m not too late to get some advice. I’ve been wanting to email you for a while now but didn’t think I needed advice and can handle the situation. Until something happened recently…
So, I had two best friends in high school. Both were my bridesmaids in my wedding and we were like a trio. One I grew apart from and one I still keep in touch with. It’s all a little complicated what happened and why I grew apart from them. Let’s just say it had to do with boys and putting boyfriends over friendships over the years. Well, the one I keep in contact with is getting married in a few months. She had a wedding shower a few days ago and didn’t invite me! Sad part is I think the other former bff is her bridesmaid. She invited a bunch of girls to her shower that were from high school and I didn’t get an invite at all. It sucks and I’m really hurt. I do live a days drive away and have young kids. Should I say something to her or just let it go, go to wedding and be cordial even though I’m super hurt not being in her wedding party and getting invited to her shower? Also, we might be living in the same town eventually again and I hate to harbor these ill feelings. I also don’t want to cause drama before her wedding since I’ve been in her shoes wedding planning. Help.
Comment: I’d get over it. A wedding shower? Really? Don’t sweat it. Plus, the next month or so is about her life, not yours. I’d say once that’s over, and if you are living in the same area as her, maybe you can ask her what happened. But not in an attacking way. Maybe you could even make a joke about it. I think you’re probably more confused than hurt, to be honest. You thought you were close, and she didn’t invite you to be in the wedding party. But at least you got invited to the wedding. So that’s a positive. There could be a myriad of reasons why she didn’t invite you. I wouldn’t let it bother you too much.
I am writing you to get advice on an issue regarding both reality television and my relationship. Over the last ten years, I have become a huge reality tv fan – including shows such as bachelor(ette)/BIP, every real housewives city, everything else bravo (southern charm, pump rules, flipping out, shahs, MDL, top chef), E! (Keeping up, WAGS, and rich kids), and MTV programming (the challenge and AYTO). And when I watch unREAL, I am constantly reminded that my ultimate dream job would be a production assistant on a reality tv show. Anyhoo, now that you understand my affinity for reality television I will delve into the real issue here.
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for nearly a year, and things couldn’t be going better. We both share a love for critically acclaimed scripted television shows such as GoT, Mr. Robot, and the Americans to name a few. However, he can’t stand reality television. And his “can’t stand” reaction is a generous portrayal. One of the few times I’ve ever exposed him to reality TV (mind you he was busy setting up his fantasy golf team on his laptop) he became irate. Side note: it was a clip from the real housewives of NY looking at potential apts in the $15,000 a month range.
I worry that because we will soon be living in the same apt complex, my reality tv schedule will come at odds with our relationship. I wish he would give it a chance. We even have several good male friends that rave about the bachelor(ette), vanderpump rules, etc. He still refuses to be in the presence of any reality television.
Going forward, what would your advice be? To abandon one of my greatest passions each night or try and get him to come on board? And if I were to try and get him to enjoy reality tv, what would be your approach?
Comment: People have different tastes in TV. Understandable. I don’t think you’ll find any two people who both like the same exact shows. All of them. Of course women will like shows their man doesn’t and vice versa.
However, for him to be so rude about it is a huge turn off. Like, why? Why is it affecting him that much? I know plenty of couples who watch their own shows in separate rooms. That’s fine he doesn’t like reality TV, but it sounds like he’s almost insulting you FOR liking it, and that’s just wrong. I mean, I’ve kinda dealt with it myself in the past. You don’t have to like the shows I watch (some work related, and some not), and you don’t have to like sports either. But you need to respect the fact that I do. Yeah, I think the Kardashians are crap. But if someone I was dating liked watching it, I’m fine with it. I wouldn’t watch along weekly, but I wouldn’t chastise her for it. Now, if she’s binge watching hours upon hours upon hours every night of trashy TV, and it cut into our time together, then yeah, I’d say something. But I’ve never gotten to that point with anyone.
I would tell him that you don’t make fun of his shows that he watches which you don’t (I’m sure there are some), so he shouldn’t make fun of yours. Again, not in an attacking way or anything, but just throw it out there and see what he says.