Reality Steve

The Bachelor 21 - Nick

The “Bachelor” Nick Episode 5 Recap Incl The Reality Steve Fan Appreciation Party Details Are Set

-Chris Harrison delivered the date card and the news that this week there will be a 1-on-1, a group date, and a 2-on-1. Because yeah, no one there had a clue who could possibly end up on the 2-on-1 did they? It’s only been a feud brewing since episode 2. Keep us in suspense Chris. You can cut this tension with a knife. Who IS on that date? Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me. Eh, gonna have to wait. Rachel finally gets her 1-on-1 after getting the first impression rose only to then become background noise for the first four episodes. “Where have you beignet all my life” is what the date card says. I have been to New Orleans before. Even went to Café du Monde. Had a beignet. And I gotta say…I would take Winchell’s over that garbage every day of the week and twice on Sundays. Or Dunkies. Sorry, but waaaaaay overrated. Throwing some powdered sugar on some dough is not better than an apple fritter. Or chocolate rainbow sprinkle. Or a tiger tail. Or a cinnamon roll. You lose, beignet. Go home.

-When they first meet up in the French Market, Nick does give Rachel a life, but no twirl. Just a lift and kiss. A solid 7 on the judges scale. But you gotta get that twirl in a couple times to have a shot at the 10. C’mon Nick. You’ve done this 63 times already. You should know this. Whatever the case, these kiddos head out to do some shopping. Oooh, an alligator head? Let me purchase that. Weird masks? Check. Forget this, lets just make out every chance we can get while shopping. They even went oyster diving and Nick got him some tasty oysters (he he). Nick: “The chemistry with Rachel is probably the most explosive chemistry I have with any of the women.” I hear ya’. I wonder if Vanessa was listening to that as well. And guess what? If you guys happen to try any of the spicy gumbo New Orleans has to offer, your chemistry won’t be the only explosive thing you two share. You can take turns sharing the toilet bowl later in the evening.

-The two of them then dance down the streets to Second Line, all while playing with umbrellas, kissing, grinding, and making Vanessa cringe from her home watching on TV. Once they’re done bumping each other’s privates against each other, it’s concert time with Lolo. Not Lolo Jones the former sprinter turned bobsledder, turned DWTS embarrassment. No, Lolo the singer. You know, the singer. Anyone? Anyone? Didn’t think so. This show absolutely has to keep their track record of not-quite-famous singers going. It wouldn’t be the “Bachelor” franchise if we didn’t get someone only a niche audience has heard of before performing mini concerts. Hell, did you notice that Nick and Rachel basically skedaddled right out of that place in the middle of the concert. They must’ve really loved Lolo too. To do what? Oh yeah, make out some more while Vanessa sits at home with a personalized Rachel voodoo doll.

-They go and sit down at Mardi Gras World for dinner. Fun fact: The room I was trying to book for the Vegas party this year was the Mardi Gras room at the Rio. Super nice room, but they just couldn’t give me the deal that Mandalay got me. But next year, barring something crazy happening, I think we might be headed to the Rio as I’m already thinking about what to do. But back to Rachel and Nick. Oh yeah, she tells him that Second Line performs at funerals as well, and the last time she was in New Orleans was for a funeral. It was then she decided to let herself go and feels that this was a sign. Or maybe that you were put on this date for the exact reason that you could tell that story to the audience. Probably not a coincidence she appeared on this date and told that exact story.

-Over dinner, Nick and Rachel talk about the fact that her dad is a federal judge in Dallas. Nick: “Is he intimidating?” Rachel: “Yes.” Nick: (currently soiling himself) “Soooo, yeah, this is a little scary…” Nick goes on to tell her that because he’s already asked two fathers for their daughters hand in marriage, and it’s failed twice, this is obviously a big deal for him. Well, technically three fathers I assume since he was engaged before he ever came on the “Bachelor” and I’m guessing he asked that girl’s father. Hey, fourth time around it should be no sweat, right? I’m sure every father is down for that and not hilariously trying to hold back a nice laugh when Nick Viall comes asking to marry their daughter. It’s gotta be a running joke around all the fathers of America at this point, right? Like, it’s a mass email list that keeps gaining new people and they just tell tales of when Nick asked them and make fun of him? Someone find that email chain. I’m sure it’s heeeee-larious.

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10 Comments

10 Comments

  1. rob22

    January 31, 2017 at 10:35 AM

    I think RS missed the point of beignets and cafe au lait at Cafe Du Monde. You go there with a hangover for a mainline of sugar and caffeine. It doesn’t even matter if they’re good. I think they are good as long as you don’t let them sit too long. After a bit, the grease starts to run off the beignet and it loses it’s appeal. But that’s all beside the point of going there. It’s New Orleans. If you’re at Cafe Du Monde, you have a serious hangover that needs immediate attention.

  2. crushonspivey

    January 31, 2017 at 12:41 PM

    I hit saturation point with Corinne last night. I had found her schtick amusing for a while, and enjoyed seeing her get under the skin of the more insecure and immature contestants (Taylor, Sarah, Kristina), but last night was too much. And now her ability to amuse is gone, so she needs to go. Time to cancel The Corinne Show.

    I do blame the producers as well. They are still struggling to learn that less is more, except in the episode where the contestant is going home. Then, let them go down in a blaze of glory of their own making.

    The editors gave her too much time, it distracted from anyone thinking Nick is actually going to find love on this show, and I honestly started getting bored with the episode. And so did my wife, who is ratings target gold for this show.

    Hoping the show is about to transition soon to seeing which connections develop. Not holding my breath.

  3. purplerayne

    January 31, 2017 at 1:35 PM

    Dude, fried dough is the best! I understand Steve is a donut guy, but you cannot knock down beignets! Its like knocking down pies bc you prefer cake.

    I am OVER Corrine. Yes, Taylor is unaware of her stank faces and her manner of speech. BUT Corrine’s flippant way of behaviour and her mean verbal attack on Taylor just put me over the edge. She’s not entered Chad territory, where the villain is no longer enjoyable to the show.

  4. rob22

    January 31, 2017 at 2:10 PM

    For me, Corrine’s shelf life was 2 episodes. I’m WAY over it. There are not any REAL looking relationships forming. It’s all paint by numbers stuff. “I’m falling in love with you”. “He’s so good looking”. “I could see myself with her”. Snore. The thing is, despite all of the show’s fakeness, usually there were one or two that were into the lead and the lead was into them. So, at least you’d have something sort of nice going on in between all the drama and sleeziness. I’m still equating Nick with Juan Pah-Blow. Like our buddy Juan on his season, Nick does not appear to be super into any of the girls. Of course, he’s lining up three of them for the fantasy suites. That’s the whole gig as far as he’s concerned. But, for him, the last two episodes are going to be the test to see whether his acting classes did any good. He’s going to have to fake it hard when he has to pretend to fall in love and propose to someone. It would be crazy funny if he started looking in the other direction and mumbling when he was “proposing”. If he does, everyone has to down a small glass of Mezcal. The worm is optional.

  5. rob22

    January 31, 2017 at 2:22 PM

    @crushonspivey: I’m with you. But is Corrine distracting from a love story, or was Corrine allowed to stay so long & given so much air time precisely because there isn’t a love story to talk about? I’m pretty sure it’s the latter. I’m sure they’ll pull something together to look like a happy ending. But it won’t be real. I feel like they have a long way to go to make it plausible that Nick and Vanessa have anything going on. Ah, the wonders of editing. I think this is a big reason why any Vanessa related problems in the house will not be shown. They can’t afford to trash her & still pull together the required proposal and love story finale. She’s going to get a squeaky clean edit.

  6. kimmyfromdablock

    January 31, 2017 at 2:47 PM

    Let me pile on the “over Corinne” bandwagon. The whole schtick is getting old, but I must say that the outrage over the repeated “*itch” references doesn’t really matter. We all know this show sells everyone out and doesn’t have much in the way of scruples. Let’s also face it, if this was a man consistently referring to another man as an a-hole, no one would really care. It would just be guys being guys and we’d call the offending guy a jerk.

    I can’t imagine how my father would react to me bringing a guy home like Nick. The fact that he mumbles when he talks, often times puts his hands over his mouth when speaking and has a difficult time making direct eye contact for more than a few seconds….would put some big red flags up for any parent.

    I also believe Taylor has made a complete mess of herself on this show. Not a great look for someone in a helping profession who is probably looking to build a clientele. She came off as arrogant, patronizing and immature. The fact that she got herself into this mess or allowed herself to be so manipulated by professionals is indicative of her immaturity, not her degree.

  7. teenie26

    February 1, 2017 at 6:20 AM

    I will defend beignets to my death – they are the best! Aside from that, does anyone know if Corinne is the first person to ever make it to hometowns without having had a prior one-on-one date? It just seems strange – like she really is just a producer pick.

  8. ctrealitygirl

    February 1, 2017 at 8:18 AM

    I agree with everyone! I always set my DVR and half watch the episodes while reading or doing crosswords, then watch the taped version the next night, fast-forwarding thru all the crap. But this episode was such a snooze fest that have not bothered to re-watch it. And I dozed off and missed most of the 2-on-1 date and have no interest in watching it. It seems to me that the whole season has been based around Corinne and her antics, her feud with Taylor WAY too many ITM’s. I, too, miss the days when the Bachelor at least made an attempt to show a love story in the making. But each season it gets farther and farther away from that format. The one thing that i find satisfying is that (according to Steve) Corinne does not get to the fantasy suites. I cannot wait to see Nick turn down her offer to have sex. I hope the folks at ABC read these comments and make some attempt to stop focusing on villains and go back to centering on the dates. And why have there been so few 1-on-1’s this year?? The format used to be two 1-on-1’s and one group date until later in the season when they got to the 2-on-1. Way too many goofy group dates this season, and the lamest one yet was that haunted house date. Ugh.

  9. realiteacheck

    February 1, 2017 at 10:43 AM

    I’ve never felt compelled to comment until today. Steve – You are spot on with your Corinne analysis. Please ABC, we’re all done with her. She’s not funny to watch (never thought she was to begin with) and she’s certainly not original. Every season, there will be a new villain to talk about and I find that the villain character is now old and played out. Yawn. It’s the public viewer that fuels the fire and keeps characters like her on the show. When will we ever learn to just stop talking or caring about them?

    I don’t understand the fascination with her or her character because it is so easy to play the villain on reality TV. Think about it: what normal, sane person would ever want to live with that reputation for the rest of their everyday lives? If you volunteer yourself for this role, all you have to do is say whatever random, cruel thing comes to your mind (without reason) and do whatever the heck you want. Half the time the producers are supplying the villain with everything they need to act in a certain way – everything from context to alcohol to coaching. So, I guess good for Corinne to take the easy way out?

  10. kathscof

    February 1, 2017 at 1:29 PM

    I love beignets, and am over Corrine…I literally fast forward whenever she talks….

    The best part about last night’s show was the Luke and Josh beauty and the beast teasers and the new trailer!

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