Goin’ a little old school this week with Podcast #37 guest, my brother from another mother, Craig Robinson. I say that because for years, people have told both of us we actually look alike. This is addressed right at the top of the podcast. I’ve known Craig for over five years now, and met him one time in New York a while back, and he’s always been entertaining to talk to. This podcast was no different. Because he was only on Ali’s season and never appeared since, more of the interview is spent getting his thoughts on Gia Allemand, who he was very close to, along with his legal expertise on the Chris Soules situation along with what happened on “Bachelor in Paradise.” In all the podcasts I’ve done, I’ve never talked about Gia with anyone and I figured Craig would be an excellent guest for that. He still to this day helps in charity work dedicated to her, and I commend that. As always, if you want to respond to the interview, please include Craig’s Twitter handle (@CRAIGR1) in your replies so he can see them. I think you’ll really like the insight Craig gives from a legal perspective to the Soules situation along with BIP. Enjoy…
You can listen to today’s podcast on a number of platforms, but you can also tune in by clicking the player below:
(SPOILERS) Craig joins me to talk about how he got cast, going on this show as a lawyer (5:17), arriving the first night and his thoughts on Rated R Rego & Kasey (11:50), who he saw as the front runner for Ali (16:48), Kasey getting a tattoo in NY (19:21), Rego & Kasey’s infamous 2-on-1 (23:51), Rego’s wild departure in Istanbul (25:16), Frank leaving on his own at final 3 (31:00), possibly going on “Bachelor Pad,” (34:43), how he first found out about Gia (37:45), did he see any signs with her (41:57), the charity started on Gia’s behalf (45:52), legal talk regarding the Chris Soules case (48:36), the legal side of “Bachelor in Paradise’s” shutdown back in June (1:00:51), and finally Rapid 10 (1:13:36).
Dr. Reality Steve
This was an email from two weeks ago which was posted here.
Turns out my husband had an affair that lasted over a year. Supposedly it ended before I discovered it, but it truly devastated me. I stayed with him because I loved him, because we had children, and because he promised to never cheat or deceive me again.
Unfortunately he remained friends with her behind my back (for well over a year now) and his whereabouts, at times, seemed fishy? I don’t think I can ever trust him again, and I don’t understand why he’d continue to do something that could cause further damage. He believes the continued contact with her was OK because the sexual aspect was over. And he excuses all the lies by saying that I would have made too big of a deal of it and made his life miserable if he was honest about the contact. I am ready to file for divorce, however he keeps insisting that I’m an unreasonable and a deserter. Am I??? I know “me”, and I don’t think I can get past the totality of it all, but his accusations of me being the one destroying our family are giving me the guilts.
Objective advice please…..
Well, she emailed me back this week with some news…
This is a little tardy, but thanks. I have filed for divorce and although emotionally difficult, the positive is that I’ve detached my thoughts from wondering about what he’s doing or if he’s being honest. That type of anxiety doesn’t belong in any relationship.
Comment: You did what you had to do. His dishonesty I’m sure would’ve driven you nuts for a while and it would’ve been basically impossible to trust him. I applaud you for doing what you did. Good luck.
I recently started dating a guy and I have a really good feeling about it. We met via Bumble, but it turns out we have several mutual friends, which helped us feel comfortable in our initial meeting. We have been going on amazing dates (the 2nd date being a 12 hour date which included a Dodger game) and are both looking for the same things in life…career, family, travel, etc.
My last relationship lasted nearly 5 years. However, I feel more comfortable and happy with this guy than I did in 5 years with my ex. My ex was a big part of my family and it was a loss for them too when we split. Especially for my young niece and nephew.
I have a big family and we are really close. This big family aspect is something the new guy has expressed interest in. I really want to be able to invite this guy to family barbecues and other festivities, which are a near weekend occurrence. However, I want to protect my niece and nephew (and other family members) from meeting someone and it not working out. At what point do I do this?
Comment: I don’t think there’s a set time into the relationship where this should happen. I think you’ll just know when the best time is. Looks like it’s off to a great start so far, so I wouldn’t worry too much about it. Anytime you introduce a significant other to family, of course there’s always an opportunity it won’t work out in the long run and that separation can be hard for them. But you can’t not introduce him for fear of that happening. You didn’t specify exactly how long you’ve been dating, but as long as he feels comfortable and you guys are on the same wavelength when it comes to career, family, travel, etc, I doubt it would be a problem if he met them soon. Don’t overthink it and fear bringing him around because of how your last one felt once the break up happened.
Hi Steve! My husband and I recently found out we are having our third child and we are really happy of course since it was a surprise but my mothers reaction has been another story. She has 5 kids and two of them don’t even talk to her anymore. i have wavered between walking away with my husband and kids but I know she loves my children and I want her to see them. The problem is that she is never happy for me. Whenever I have something good happen, she tries to bring it down by telling a negative story about someone else she knows. Like yesterday when I told her we were officially expecting, she never said she was happy for us. she instead told me I was keeping my children from her although she had them for 10 hours yesterday but we wouldn’t let them stay over night because she doesn’t listen to what we want her to do like put our sons in daycare for structure. Anyways, last night she told me I was scared because she might love my kids more than me and I just thought that was ridiculous. I did keep her from my kids for a while because I asked her to not bring them to a relatives house who I despise and she did that the day I was having minor surgery. I’m tired of her games, manipulations and toxicity.
There’s a great chance I’m having another set of twins but I don’t want to be around her abuse anymore. She kept threatening me yesterday about announcing my pregnancy on social media and not to do it and my husband says that’s only because she is mad my brothers wife isn’t pregnant and is scared how she will feel when she finds out. My mom is always concerned with this girls feeling. Like she has a fight with my brother and whines and my mom tells her to drop the kids off. Hell, she moans when she gets her period. I just went through three months of infertility treatments alone with my husband and my mother was not there for me at all. She basically ignored me and didn’t help with my kids and just pawned me off to others. So I started relying on my aunt more and now she tells me that my aunt is my mother and she feels like a friend. Well, what was I supposed to do? She has ignored me whenever I tried to talk to her my whole life, only yelled at me when I was wrong and always threw my brothers wife in my face and left me alone to go through a lot on my own. Yes, her lack of support has made me stronger and able to deal with a lot, but I’m tired of her drama and abuse. What should I do? I feel like she’s jealous of me and will never be happy with herself or her life although she has eventing anyone could want. I know it’s not me cus my brother and sister walked away from her and refuse to talk to her. Should I do the same? I’m scared the stress she gives me will end me in a miscarriage and think she’s just crazy. What do you think?
Comment: Walking away from your parent is kind of a big deal that would take a lot of thought, but you’re in a tough spot for sure. The fact that two of her kids have already basically disowned her says a lot. She obviously has some serious issues and if she’s not a pleasant person to be around, I can understand your frustration. Nothing you do seems good enough, so yeah, I gotta imagine it’s tough for you to want to be around her a lot. Seems quite miserable actually. And very controlling.
I think the biggest thing you can do is have a serious talk with her and lay down some boundaries and tell her how you feel. If you don’t, this will continue. Because in her mind, she probably doesn’t think she’s doing anything wrong. So if no one tells her otherwise, she’ll probably just go about her business. Which seems to be extremely offensive, controlling, and downright rude. You need to say something and you have to be honest. Might not be what she wants to hear – in fact, I know it won’t be – but this is your life, your kids, and you have every right to say what you feel. If she doesn’t like it, that’s her problem, not yours. You don’t need this stress going forward and she’s a main cause of it. Tell her how you feel or else this behavior will continue.
Long time reader here–love your column, thank you for all you do to brighten my days with your witty Bachelor/ette/in Paradise commentary.
I’ve thought about emailing about this for a while but something kept me from actually typing this all out. I finally figured, what’s the harm? It’s good to have advice from a completely unbiased person, and I tend to agree with the advice you give others. So here goes:
I’m a thirty year old single woman, and am ready/would like to find someone to settle down with and have a family. It’s definitely something that deep down I’ve always wanted, but have been pretty self-sabotaging in the romance department for most of my life. I was quite the wild child in my teens and early to mid twenties. A little over three years ago, I finally admitted to myself (and others) that I’m an alcoholic, something I knew on some level probably since close to the time I started drinking. One of the things I did during my drinking years was not really let many people in, which led to me not having any serious romantic relationships. Sure, a few boyfriends here and there, but nothing lasting more than a few months, and I’ve certainly never been in love before.
I’ve been sober over three years now, and have done a lot of work on myself–which has brought me to the place of wanting to settle down. My sobriety is very important to me, but I don’t want it to completely define me.
So I guess I have a few questions for you:
What do you think is the best way to share with someone that I’m sober? And when do I share that with someone? Like I said, I don’t want it to completely define me, but at the same time it is part of who I am. And, I think a common first date is getting drinks–I’m fine being around alcohol, but is it weird if I say “yea let’s meet up for drinks” and then just get something non-alcoholic?
The whole not being in love nor having been in a serious relationship before–when and how do I bring that up with someone? Obviously I don’t need to on the first date (or soon thereafter), but this season got me thinking a lot about it, given how much of a storyline it was with Eric.
Okay, I know I just threw a lot out there–thanks for reading, and any insight you can provide. Appreciate it!
Comment: First off, congratulations on your sobriety. I commend anyone able to kick an addiction like that.
I don’t think not having a drink on a first couple dates is gonna cause a red flag where he’ll have to know why you aren’t drinking, but yes, it’s a major part of your life that will inevitably get brought up somehow. I think once that story comes out, it’s a lot easier for the “never been in love,” “sabotaged relationships in the past because of it” will soon follow. Maybe some guys will be turned off by that, but if they can’t handle it, then they aren’t for you. We all have a past. Just because you haven’t been in love at 30 doesn’t mean you will never be. The reason why the Eric thing was ridiculous was because on this show, you’re basically supposed to fall in love so quickly. And with a career woman like Rachel ready to settle down, you just knew there was zero chance she was going to with a guy who’d never been in love before. You don’t have to worry about that. You’re not on a TV show. You can take all the time you want, and the right guy will understand. Will some be turned off by it? I imagine so. Just don’t let it frustrate you. If he can’t accept your past, then he’s not for you.
Send all links and emails to: email@example.com. To follow me on Twitter, it’s: www.twitter.com/RealitySteve. Instagram name is “RealitySteve,” join my Reality Steve Facebook Fan Page, or listen to all my podcasts at Apple Podcasts. Talk to you next week.