Reality Steve

Reader Emails

“Reader Emails,” & Winter Games Episode 3 Thoughts

We are getting closer to the finale, and that’s when tabloid stories, rumors, innuendo, and all sorts of craziness starts up. For me, it happens every season so I don’t pay much attention to it. Go back to any February over the last 7 or 8 years (when the “Bachelor” started airing in the first Monday in January) and you’ll see this is right around the time where the coverage of the show starts to pick up. Knowing how this sh**show of a season ends up, it’ll only add to it this year. Speculation on the who/why/what of everything is flooding pop culture sites, and most of the info is wrong. Like this story making the rounds Lauren has been engaged twice before coming on this show. It’s not true. Can’t prove something that never happened, but it didn’t. She was only engaged once, and that was to Chris Crane in July of 2016. They had set a wedding date for July of 2017, but broke up in December of 2016 when she broke up with him and moved out. At this point, what I’m looking to do is try to get more information of how everything went down at the end and sort of the timeline of things. I’m getting closer. I think by next week I’m going to have more info of what happened, when it happened, and how it happened. Because this wasn’t a normal situation to say the least. It’s only happened once in the history of the franchise, so it’s a big deal. Keep it right here and I’ll keep you updated.

At the end of last week’s podcast, I mentioned that I possibly had someone big from the franchise lined up. And of course, every time I even potentially tease something even without mentioning their name, it falls through. This week’s did as well unfortunately. Could it happen at some point? Possibly. I’m not ruling it out. But it won’t be happening this week. However, we’re gonna have a fun time with Sharleen on tomorrow’s podcast. So you’ll be getting a double dose of her. Tomorrow she’s the guest on the Reality Steve podcast, then next week, episode 9 of the “He Said, She Said” podcast on Stitcher premium. But tomorrow, I’ll talk to Sharleen for the first time in almost a year on my podcast. She came on right after Nick’s season ended last year. It’s gonna be be fun, because if you’ve followed Sharleen on Twitter (@SharleenJoynt), or for Flare Magazine, or at her website, you’ll know that she’s unspoiled this season. And trust me, that isn’t a bit. I’ve been begging her to let me tell her about this season, but she doesn’t want to hear it. We’ll get into all that and more tomorrow, so look forward to that.

As for Winter Games, the biggest fallout from last night’s episode centers around Ben and his storyline of eliminating himself because he wasn’t ready to date or whatever it was. I’m still kinda confused exactly where his head space is at. Bringing up that he finds himself defending Lauren still? I don’t get it. The most common take after last night is that Ben is just setting himself up to be the next “Bachelor.” Look, after they brought Nick in, then Arie after 5 years of nothing, I guess anything is possible. And with his friendship with Chris Harrison and the fact that the show loves him, he’ll obviously always be a candidate I guess. But lets not forget, the “Bachelor” is 7 months away from filming. We still have a whole new crop of men set to be announced on the next “Bachelorette” season (some of which I have already and will be releasing in a few weeks). So just because Ben is pulling this now doesn’t mean he’s going to be the “Bachelor.” Could he? I guess. But I don’t give him any more of a chance than any guy coming up on the next season. So lets tap the brakes on this that he’s already being groomed for the next “Bachelor” when we’re still 7 months away.

The other thing being talked about is Ben and the fact he’s been dating Lindsey Duke since August. I told you on this site that Lindsey was the girl who Robby cheated on Amanda with at a concert in Colorado. And she had hooked up with Jef Holm right before that. Then I told you that she and Ben were together in late August at an event in Colorado at a local bar. Then over Thanksgiving, there were pictures of them together as he was with his friends and their significant others and she was with Ben. And Thanksgiving was basically two weeks before he left for Winter Games filming. Are they in an exclusive, boyfriend/girlfriend, monogamous relationship? Well no, because Ben obviously went on Winter Games with different intentions. But he’s definitely been seeing her and introducing her to friends over the last 6 months. Which makes his story last night even that much more confusing. Comes across as phony and him playing a role. I don’t hate Ben. Don’t know the guy. But knowing that he has been seeing someone for the last 6 months, his story just kinda fell on deaf ears to me. I don’t get why he’s hiding her from the public and won’t even acknowledge that he’s dating her. Not saying you have to post a picture of her every 5 minutes, but c’mon, it’s been 6 months and people know. So to pull what he did last night knowing he’s been dating someone, it’s makes him sound so phony. But hey, his life, he can do what he wants. Just looks bad.

Lets get to “Reader Emails…”


If Arie isn’t serious about settling down, which I also don’t buy that he is, why go through the trouble of breaking up with Becca to go back to Lauren? Was it the Producers doing to get people talking? Or does he think this somehow will make viewers think he’s actually serious about this whole thing? Can play the angle of, this was real for me and I was torn and blah blah blah. Like I honestly don’t know what this does for him? Could it be he actually really does love Lauren? Haha I’m just confused by the whole thing. You’re asking me to live in Arie’s head. I’d rather not. The guy is a serial womanizer. Always was, still is, and will be. He cannot commit to one girl. He’s done it his whole life up til this point, does it AGAIN this season by breaking off an engagement to someone he was with for two months, and moved on to someone else. But SHE’S the one. Oh, ok. I feel sorry for Lauren.

Is it just me or is everyone kind of in agreement that this bachelor season sucks? Usually people will watch regardless or who the bachelor is and still enjoy it but I’m having a hard time. Do you think producers regret not having Peter, if it was their decision to not go with him and not Peter rejecting it. I’m sure they’re regretting the Arie choice more than it not being Peter.

How are you liking the challenge this season? Rooting for anyone specifically?

Comment: I always root for Bananas because I love his gameplay. I’d like to see Tony finally do well in one of these because he’s kinda sucked in the past.

Hi Steve,

Given Bekah M’s work on a marijuana farm, it got me thinking. I know the contestants are given lots of alcohol, what about weed and other drugs? Have you heard if producers supply substances other than alcohol? The producers don’t supply the contestants with drugs, no.

Just a comment. Something that has become a HUGE pet peeve for me over the years of watching this franchise is when contestants pull out the “I wouldn’t be here if I was serious”. Ever. Time. Once I noticed it, I couldn’t STOP noticing it! UGH. I think you mean “wasn’t.” But yes, annoying.

Anyway, thank you so much for your commentaries, I honestly couldn’t get through some of these seasons without them.

Hi Steve!

I’ve never emailed, because I just never feel like I have anything to ask that everyone else isn’t already asking. But I feel like I’m going crazy over this Lesley and Dean thing.

The question is not What is She Doing with Dean. Even though it might be a questionable choice, I get it. He’s cute; he’s charming. That blinds people.

But why is she going with this story that she hasn’t been with anyone since her mastectomy? And that she’s worried about how people will take it?

When she was on Olivia’s podcast, she told Olivia she was dating this guy named Julian from Puerto Rico. This was probably a couple months after her mastectomy, and obviously before Winter Games. He showed up in all her Instagram posts because he was clearly traveling with her, and now the pictures of him are all (or mostly) gone.

Do you think the producers wanted her to go with that story to make it a bigger thing? It seems like having a double mastectomy should be enough of a story on its own, instead of lying about Dean being the first person she dated afterward.

I know you’ve talked to her and you respect her, so I just wondered if you have any insight.

Comment: Yes, she did say that on Olivia’s podcast if I remember correctly. And yes, she did have pictures of him on her IG. Your guess is as good as mine. I have no idea what she’s doing. I know people think Dean has changed and are buying his BS seeing them together on Winter Games. Lesley sure is. You know when they were also convinced Dean was ready to settle down? When he went to Kentucky and spent time with Kristina during the BIP shut down and they were attached at the hip. Where did that get us? I don’t trust the guy for a second. That’s now 4 women from the franchise he’s been with in less than a year – that we know of. He’s just another f**kboy.

Hi Steve!

I just finished reading this week’s Reader Emails and had to chime in. With respect to the question about how the girls close to Becca could possibly resist telling off Arie during the WTA, Instagram has shown that some of these “besties” are fair weather friends. When Lauren B. recently posted a picture of her and Arie, Caroline had liked it. Tia liked all the photos as well. WHAT in the world is up with that?! This may seem silly but in girl world we don’t do that. It’s the code. Your friends have to dislike who you dislike and that’s that, as childish as it may be haha. So I’m going to guess this won’t be an issue during the Tell All. These reality star girls are pros at the fakery of it all.

Comment: Well, nothing about Arie/Becca/Lauren was brought up at the Tell All, so no need to worry over that. There’s a lot of lovefest between the girls this season. I think most all got along outside of Krystal. But something I’ve said time and time and time and time and time again – just because people like or comment on other people’s IG pics doesn’t mean they’re best friends. The stories I could tell…

Hi Steve,

I have a few Bachelor questions I’d love to get the scoop on. Thanks in advance for considering answering them, if you think they’re of interest to your other readers:

Regarding Winter Games – the other day you mentioned that Luke Pell had been seeing someone before the show and has been seen with her since – but what about Ben Higgins? I keep reading that he’s seeing Lindsey Duke. Is this true or just a rumor? If true, has he just not gone public about it because he wanted to portray that he was single for Winter Games? It’s never been a rumor, he’s been seeing her for the last 6 months, there’s proof it, and no one really has a clue why he can’t publicly admit it.

Question about Rachel and Bryan, JoJo and Jordan and Kaitlyn and Shawn: Rachel and Bryan aside, it seems the other couples have been engaged for quite a while now. I know what’s been said in the media about their wedding plans, but I’m curious if you personally believe that one, some or all of these three couples will ACTUALLY tie the knot anytime soon. And what are your thoughts on each couple’s longevity for that – do you think they’re good matches for long term happy, healthy marriages?

Comment: I’ve never spoken to any of those six so I have no idea. I say it for every couple in this franchise – I’ll believe it when they walk down the aisle.

Okay Steve, 2 questions for your Reader Emails section…

1. Describe your Dream Show Cast to spoil – pick any format (Bachelor/Bachelorette, BIP, etc.)… Who would you want to see there? Who would make your job easiest to spoil? Who would you personally find most entertaining or want to see a true success story out of? And on the other hand – who would you most enjoy to see heartbroken and sent packing?

2. Congrats, Steve, you’ve been selected as The Bachelor! Who is your dream cast (using previous contestants) of ladies? Can you give us your breakdown of who you’d get to for your Top 4 for Hometowns, and then your final 2 and lastly your winner? (Sparing you Overnights incase that’s awkward for future podcast guests).

I know you don’t like to do hypotheticals but I feel like a lot of your fans and readers would love to know this to gain more insight into you and your own personal taste!

Comment: You want me to cast a show of 25 women over 22 “Bachelor” seasons? No thanks ha ha. There’s too many names and I don’t feel like going down all the recent cast lists and picking out people. That’d take forever for something I have zero interest in ever doing. Although if you want my thoughts about dating someone in the franchise, my recent appearance on Kate Casey’s podcast has it.

Hello there!

I have always enjoyed your spoilers, and like everyone else, I still tune in to watch everything unfold each week. As my daughter and I were watching Amazing Race this past week, I was wondering why there are no specific spoilers out there as to who actually wins? Anywhere I look for spoilers, I can see the top three, but not the final winning team! If you are able to spoil something that is done in a semi-secluded location, how is it that no one spoils the Amazing Race, whose finale typically takes place in public view??

Thanks so much for providing the entertainment you do.

Comment: I don’t know. I don’t follow that show. I know my niece has always been into it, and I remember looking for spoilers once and there was some link that had tons of spoilers on it, pictures in airports/cities/etc. Had the whole season mapped out and stuff. But I don’t know if they have every elimination and the winner every season. I just don’t follow it enough to know.

I enjoyed your interview with Jenn Sterger today. I am not a football fan but do remember the Brett Favre incident. After reading the attached articles, I watched a clip that popped up from You Tube of her interview with George Stephanopolis and the comments under it were all extremely sexist and cruel. I can understand how the aftermath devastated her and took an emotional toll on her mental health. Her now husband seems very supportive of her and she certainly has many #MeToo moments to share. It’s a shame that a good looking woman gets automatically handicapped and criticized, due to her physical appearance. I was wondering if her husband is an athlete, or someone she met through the sports industry, or someone she met through TV production. I watched the engagement video, but there is no backstory as to how they met.

Comment: Thanks. Yeah, those comments were disgusting. People are the worst sometimes.

I don’t know how she met Cody, but he’s a baseball player in the Arizona Diamondbacks organization. He’s actually a really good prankster too. Some of his pranks are online and are really good.

Hey Reality Steve!

I just wanted to mention something that you might find interesting. I’ve seen interviews with people talking about how Yuki from Japan is going to be a superstar, etc, and who knows, maybe she will be?

I lived in Japan for quite a while, and am pretty confident that most Japanese people would be embarrassed if they saw this! She is just recycling a type of cutesy behavior called “burikko” in Japan. Her “lack” of English, her high-pitched voice, pretending to be dumb, etc, is all an act. I can see her entertainment value, and I don’t really mind her, but I just feel that she’s not really different from a lot of the young women (or men) that we see putting on acts in this franchise.

I’d also like to thank you for your spoilers, but more recently and importantly, for being a women’s ally during the #metoo movement. I know a lot of men who, even if they had the kind of platform you have, might be afraid to speak out. Even just looking at the comments on the You Tube Jenn Sterger interview was disturbing, so, it’s great to have a male ally speak up for women whose lives have been destroyed by other men.

Thanks! #metoo

Comment: Thank you. Pretty sh**ty what happened to her that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.

I don’t think Yuki will be a “star” per se, especially here in the states. But she’s certainly a good entertainment value for the show.

Hi, Steve. Fortunately & unfortunately, my life was taken over by the Bachelor franchise this past week, as ABC presented us with 6 hours of footage. I’ve been keeping a mental list of some of my questions that randomly popped into my head & figured there was no better person to ask than you. Keep up the good work. Here goes nothing:

1) Is it possible that production rigged the voting on episode 1 of Winter Games? Eric seems like one of the rare genuine guys of the franchise. It’s hard for me to believe that others saw him as not being there “for the right reasons.” I’m sure they nudged people to vote a certain way. Not sure why they’d want Eric gone though. Who knows? Maybe he wasn’t feeling anyone there and wanted out and was telling people so.

2) As much as I dislike Arie, I’m actually enjoying watching the girls this season, especially Becca K. I’m impressed with how well some of them carry themselves. I know you’ve heard “bad” things about many contestants, but what about good things? Do people contact you to disclose positive information about the girls? Sure, it happens. It’s more rare than getting negative feedback, but there are definitely those who I hear good things about.

3) The girls seem to get along well for the most part. Have you heard of whether or not there were cliques in the house? Not a whole hell of a lot to be honest. There was quite the lovefest this season outside of Krystal. But give it time though. That never lasts. Groups will splinter off eventually. Happens every season.

4) Do you think Tia’s conversation with Arie about Bekah M could hurt her chances for Bachelorette? I’m one of the fans pulling for Becca K, but in the event she doesn’t take it, I’m curious if Tia’s fans have started to dwindle. I still think they’d go with her. She had one episode where she did something questionable. There have been leads who’ve done much worse than that. With that said, I don’t think she’ll get it anyway.

5) Just like you do in the podcast, I have to ask. Did you go to your senior prom? If so, who did you take, & did you have fun?

Comment: Yes. I went with the girl I was dating at the time, and that was a mistake, but I was kinda stuck. She was a sophomore, didn’t know any of my friends, and it just wasn’t fun. And oh yeah, did I mention my friend took my high school sweetheart (who was a freshman in college at the time), and they were in our limo party? Yeah, fun times. Just not a good night all around. I should’ve asked my ex before him, or, should’ve gone with someone else who was in our friend group at the time who we each had a thing for each other. I screwed up. I was back at my house by midnight that night because my date’s parents didn’t want her out too late. Horrible night all around.

Thank you so much for all you do! I love your spoilers & recaps, they make my week!

Just a quick question! Are the current contestants under some obligation to keep posting on social media as though they don’t know how the season ends? I noticed Becca posted a romantic photo of her and Arie from Tuscany on instagram and tagged him in it. Seems sort of awkward now considering where they currently stand. Was she told by producers she needed to keep posting as to not give any heads up they aren’t currently together? Obviously she posted while they were together and now if she stopped would give some red flags to people who don’t know the spoiler.

Hope my question makes sense

Comment: Obligated? No. But they’re certainly encouraged to I’m sure.

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  1. rob22

    February 21, 2018 at 9:34 AM

    It kind of hit me funny, but “limiting” the contestants to 2 drinks/hour? That’s limiting? If so, how much were people drinking on that show? It’s must be A LOT. 2 drinks/hour isn’t exactly “taking it easy”. Especially since I see a lot of people with whiskey, and more than just a shot. 2 whiskey’s an hour is a lot of booze. And the goal is to prevent another #Metoo(sort of) scenario? I don’t think that limit is going to solve that particular problem.

  2. ctrealitygirl

    February 21, 2018 at 12:42 PM

    Ugh! The thought of Ben Higgins being the bachelor again makes me ill! People are saying how boring Arie is this season, but Ben on the Winter Games was such a snooze. And all that crying…for what??? I never felt he had much personality and now he has even less. And, back when he was on Kaitlyn’s season I thought he was pretty handsome…but he looked terrible on Winter Games. And I’m just getting sick of the same cast of characters: Ben H, Ashley I, Michael G (why is he even still around? He was never relevant), and Clare…geesh, isn’t she getting a little old for this game? Time for some new blood! ! I hope Steve is right about some of the international cast showing up on BIP!

  3. sarahe

    February 21, 2018 at 1:31 PM

    What I fail to understand is why the women dating Luke and Ben are so okay with being hidden. I get dating someone from Bachelor nation might sound appealing to some people, but I’d think those same people would partially want to do so for the perks of being publicly recognized as well. These girls are just okay with these guys presenting a public image that they’re single? I don’t get it at all.

  4. tinyred500

    February 21, 2018 at 2:18 PM

    I agree, they don’t have to make it a big public thing about who they’re dating, but they should at least publicly acknowledge the girls by name. I’d feel like a dirty secret if was me. 🙁

  5. tinyred500

    February 21, 2018 at 2:23 PM

    A bit off topic, but why do they hose down the driveway to The Bachelor house? I know they make a thing of it on UnReal too….but even that doesn’t say why! It would make it more slippery in high heels surely! 😉

  6. ladyjane747

    February 21, 2018 at 6:32 PM

    Will be interesting to hear Steve and Sharleen talk about Arie’s season, as Steve hates him and Sharleen quite likes him.

  7. con5035

    February 21, 2018 at 7:11 PM

    Hi! I think you should snope more of whether she was engaged twice before. A close friend of mine told me back in February (before she was even on the show) that she was actually engaged twice. This was before she had anything to do with the show. So I thought it was interesting that it never was reported and I figured maybe he heard it wrong and forgot about it. So now I’m thinking theees truth to that.

  8. jasmine

    February 21, 2018 at 8:51 PM

    Im actually annoyed they allowed Ben to be on Winter Games when everybody knew damn well he was not looking for anybody at hte moment. They eliminated all of the other people, yet kept Ben and everybody, including Chris Harrison, knew Ben was not ready.

    And Who int the world thought it was a good idea to put Yuki on the show. The bachelor men do not go for women like Yuki who make weird noses and acts like a little child. They all seemed like they just felt sorry for her.

    Dont let me get started on Stassis fake lips. How is that attractive to anybody. Stassi has fake lips and fake hair. People dogged Rachel so much for her bad weaves, but Stassi gets away with the fake lips that look ugly. same with Ashley I and the fake lips

  9. tamara

    February 21, 2018 at 9:03 PM

    Can someone please explain to me wth the deal with Clare and Christian was??? They both cry saying goodbye, yet he couldn’t lean over and kiss her??

  10. jlal

    February 22, 2018 at 4:04 AM

    Interesting that Yuki was acting burikko. When I read ctrealitygirl’s description, it was spot on. I found her highly annoying and couldn’t wait for her to leave. Her crying was painful hear.

    Agreed that Ben would be a snooze as the Bachelor. Also agreed that I’m getting tired of the same old cast of characters. They need to move on, this isn’t a serial show, it is a reality show.

    jasmine, thanks for being the one to point out Stassis’ lip injections, good lord they are awful. Also agree, though I like her, Clare needs to move on.

  11. rob22

    February 22, 2018 at 6:58 AM

    I used to be in favor of a Ben 2.0, but his Winter Games performance has me off the band wagon. The guy is just weird. Here is this tall, good looking guy with everything going for him & he has to go on a D List show and cry? What. Is. That?

    Also, I’m a bit horrified by the freak show aspect of Winter Games. They were really scraping the bottom of the barrel, even by Bachelor off-season show standards. Not a good looking crew, over all & there isn’t much positive to say about any of them in general. I imagine it was pretty low budget & they’ll make some bank…. I guess that’s all there is to it.

  12. rob22

    February 22, 2018 at 7:05 AM

    BTW: re: Arie: I don’t think he’s a bad guy. It doesn’t even bother me that much that he’s boring. It’s really just that he’s not even trying to fake a relationship with anyone. He’s going through the motions and making boiler plate comments just to get him to the place where he can kiss the girls, and eventually sleep with them. The funny thing about this isn’t that Arie has no real relationship with anyone, it’s just that it’s so obvious. I imagine other leads have been either in the same boat & faked it, or got caught up in the emotion of the show enough that it looked good. But I think that this is a more honest version of what’s usually going on with the leads. It just doesn’t make for good TV.

  13. katieottawa

    March 4, 2018 at 2:09 AM

    i am not a fan of the show or the bachelors but i dont understand the constant bashing over this guy. if you dont like him why do you watch? if you dont like how he dresses and you find him boring watch something else? youll never meet the guy or the women so who cares how he acts on a stupid tv show. whatever he does in his life has ZERO impact on your life whatsoever so to get all bothered over his decisions you should really reevaluate your life priorities. reading some of the hysterical comments i just find it all biased. i dont see how he treats women ANY differently than previous bachelors on the show. ALL the guys tongue down the women after 20 seconds. Personally i actually find him nicer to the women in general and hasnt shown any inappropriate disrespectful behavior unlike the last bachelor with the beard. I found him arrogant, condescending and seemed like he looked down on the women like he was smarter than them and they werent on his level. plus lets not forget the topless pics last year and the grinding in the balloon castle with one of the girls. there hasnt been any soft core porn scenes half naked in a hot tub grinding any of these girls. if the worst thing you can about him is he says “i love that” doesnt parade around himself shirtless. maybe he has the same number of clothes as all the previous bachelors but they spent so much time half naked wanting to show their bodies off it looked like they more clothes when they actually got dressed. this guy is more demure. big deal.

    also who cares if he decides to change his mind and end it with the one girl after a couple of months and choose the other one. how many emails have steve gotten over the years asking if there had been bachelors who have dumped their final pick to then date the runner up and EVEN crazy fans gunning for the bachelor to change his mind so that he dumps his final one to pick the one girl they liked best

    but when this guy does its a scandal and makes him a jerk. all hypocrits if you ask me.

    i used to read steve for making fun of this farce of a show. he was ruthless and hilarious. i would laugh so hard and he was as hard on the men as the women however i find now i am laughing less. there is more a bias view now that comes out in his columns from im noticing doing podcasts with the womenand he isnt as hard on the women and seem to take their sides a lot more while bashing the men for playing the field.

    lets get something straight here. BOTH the men and the women come on the show to enjoy the perks the show provides which is better and a larger option pool of suitors for both these women and men and to further their aspiring modeling opportunities on instagram. Plenty of women come on the show with bfs back home or with on and off bfs. not all their intentions are that sincere or genuine either so lets stop pretending like these women are victims to these big bad douchebags. no one is forcing them to come on this show, to accept a rose, stay to the end and accept a proposal. anyone of them has a choice and a say into what happens to them.

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