Reality Steve

Reader Emails

“Reader Emails,” Updated Leo News, & An Apology To Colton

Photo Credit: ABC

Dear Steve,

When I first started watching this show I was single and believed in the “romance” of the show. I still believe in romance but I’m now happily married with children. My husband and I watch it together for mindless entertainment. I realize what the show is at this point, romance or love is not the point of many of the contestants anymore. I stumbled upon your Jason spoiler and have tried to keep up with your site as much as I can.

This season bothered me the most because Becca, nothing against her, but I just felt that after being screwed over by the show and Arie that she basically signed up to put someone else through in a way the same thing she went through. Now, here we have Blake probably vying for a chance to be the “bachelor”. We saw his total heartbreak but I’m pretty he will take the gig and put another slew of girls through the emontional turmoil of getting to the final two. I know the people who sign up for this show have to have an idea of what they will be put through. Like I mentioned I watch for mindless entertainment when a couple succeeds it is fun to see.

Becca wasn’t the best actress when it came to her feelings. I remember so many uncomfortable moments this season with guys you could tell she wasn’t into. I felt the worst for Jason because he seemed authentic and her responses to him were just hard to watch in my opinion. It’s a show and she has to keep guys around I get it.

I really love your podcasts. My husband got me into podcasts. I just recently started yours and binge listened to get caught up. I knew they were out there but after he reminded me of being able to listen to them while driving I got hooked.

I love that you bring on past guests of the bachelor. I haven’t listened to all of the other guests not related to the show but a couple I’m interested in. I’m excited about Sean Lowe. He once did a speaking event out here and he is very well spoken. I envy all the things you’ve done with your success. I really think that you stick to your morals and values. I don’t always agree with what you say but I can value your opinion. I also have learned that at times my opinion has changed due to things reveled reading your site. I have a sister with a huge sarcastic personality so I’m able to see that in your writing and not take offense.

Bachelor in paradise looks like a fun train wreck to watch again. I can’t even with Jordan’s outfit on the beach when he kicks the bear into the ocean. Some of these people just can’t get enough and just keep coming back for more.

Comment: Thanks. My goal is never to change people’s minds to believe what I believe. Look, everyone has opinions when it comes to this show. But I think a lot of those opinions are formed without knowing any information. They’re just going by what they see on TV. I do think I have information on certain things regarding this franchise that 99% of people don’t have. So before forming an opinion on something, I like to present people with that info. Makes them more informed. If that helps sometimes, that’s great.

Sean is definitely well spoken. He’s been at this for five years. He’s very well polished and I tried not to ask him a bunch of stuff he’s already talked about a zillion times. There were some things in there that I just had to because it’s part of his story, but yeah, probably stuff you may have heard before if you ever followed him. But he was candid and honest about everything, and that’s all I ask for from my guests.
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Hi Steve,

One of the classiest things that was ever done on the Bachelorette was when Ali sent her runner up home ahead of the rose ceremony. She was trying to make it as easy as possible for him. As she had decided on Roberto.

I really wish more of the leads would do this. I thought Becca treated Blake so badly, especially her lame excuses for rejecting him. I think most of the leads really know who they are going to pick long before the final rose, or at least certainly the day before. And it was very clear from the beginning with Becca who interested her the most. So why not spare the one who is not being chosen, and send that person home ahead of the final rose ? Then more of the focus could be on the lead’s decision and the engagement.

Do you know if producers pressure the lead to have the final two come to the rose ceremony? Blake really melted down, which wasn’t too surprising as he’s a very sensitive guy. It was very difficult to see how badly he was hurt. I know this is a reality show, but these are still people with emotions and feelings just like the rest of us. It actually has happened quite a bit where the “Bachelorette” let her final 2 guy go before the final rose ceremony to spare him that awkward public rejection at the altar. We’ve mentioned this before because it’s NEVER happened on the “Bachelor.” For whatever reason, they never allow the male lead to let the final 2 girl go early. Yet, for the women? I’ll just do recent seasons…

Becca – no. Blake and Garrett both at final rose ceremony.
Rachel – yes. Peter eliminated early.
JoJo – no. Robby and Jordan both at final rose ceremony.
Kaitlyn – no. Nick and Shawn both at final rose ceremony.
Andi – yes. Went to Nick’s room and let him go early.
Des – yes. Told Drew before the final day.
Emily – yes. Let Arie go early.
Ashley – no. Ben and JP both at final rose ceremony.

So 4 of the last 8 seasons they’ve allowed it. Which is 4 more times than they’ve allowed it in the 22 “Bachelor” seasons.

My second comment is about leads and contestants getting time off work to film the show. I don’t suppose you have any insight as to how they work things out? The lead knows how long she/he will be gone filming, but the contestants could be gone the first night or make it right to the end. I’ve just wondered how they work it out with employers.

Comment: Contestants have to tell their employers they could be gone up to two months…or it could be a week. You have to set it at the max just in case. In almost all the cases, they have jobs that allow them to.
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Hey Steve,

Since the cast for both the Bachelor and Bachelorette is finalized before producers choose the lead, how much does production take into consideration the casts’ preference for who will be the Bachelor or Bachelorette? For example, hypothetically, if all 29 or so women currently cast for the upcoming season of the Bachelor say they are interested in Blake, only Blake, and have zero interest in any other lead, would producers take that into consideration? (Or the reverse, if they all said they definitely didn’t like a potential lead, like Peter.) Or do they cast who they cast as the lead, regardless of interest from the contestants? They cast who they cast regardless of the lead, with a few exceptions that they will specifically cast for them.

Also, on an unrelated note, was anything ever said or revealed about the original person who posted about Garrett’s instagram likes? (The “imwatchingyuuo” account.) Irrespective of the “likes” being offensive, it seemed super shady that someone went to great lengths to take down Garrett’s character the premier night when it would impact him the most and they knew he could do very little to defend himself, yet they chose to remain nameless.

Thanks!

Comment: Publicly, no. But I know their name because they contacted me when I was doubting if they were real. Like I said at the time, is it something I’d ever spend my time doing? No. But it was useful. However, the name of the person who found it is pretty irrelevant in this situation. All that mattered was if what they found was accurate, and it was. Certainly there was a lot of doubt cast at first, including by myself, if those likes were definitely attributed to him. I had no idea. This person came to me and broke the whole thing down. I don’t think their name matters.
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Hey Steve,

Classic intro…. love your stuff, third time writer….

Wondering how much time you would think elapses between the lead breaking up with the #2 and then being proposed to by the final guy?

Comment: Maybe an hour or so? 90 minutes?
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Hi! Thank you for this season!

1. The ATFR was different this year, any idea why exactly or just something they decided to go with? Airing Blake’s proposal then them talking and then just focusing on Garrett and Becca, them walking out together instead of her already being out. I dont remember an ATFR ever being like that but it definitely made more sense and was honestly nicer to see. They did it for Rachel’s season as well. Only two times they’ve done it. Rachel was sitting with Peter right after we saw her let him go on TV. Which, as you can tell by her US Weekly recap yesterday, she was none too pleased with.

2. How long do you give Becca and Garrett? I know youll only believe it when they walk down the aisle though. At this point, I honestly don’t think it matters. If I say six months, and they last a year, people scream at me, “You said they’d only last 6 months!” So to me, I don’t see the good in that anymore. It’s a beat down when people can’t see the difference between a prediction and a spoiler of something that actually happened.

3. Have you heard about Kathryn Dennis from Southern Charm on bravo talk about how she’s in talks to be the next bachelorette? That doesn’t seem likely or right but wondering if you know anything we don’t? That story is laughable. Never happening. She doesn’t even know what she’s talking about.

4. Lastly, I know you met Sean once in Dallas, but for some reason, I was under the impression that he was one of those Bachelor people that stayed away from you and their loyalty was to the producers and he still seems to be in good with them so I was a bit surprise you announced him as a guest but I’m looking forward to listening!

Comment: I never got the impression he was, but Sean is really so far removed from the show now, I don’t think it’s a big deal he comes on. I think the show knows that their contestants are gonna do podcasts. Look at some of the ones I’ve done with people who still ended up going on a show of theirs. So obviously they don’t care that much.
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Hello Steve,

It seems that Lauren Bushnell unfollowed her boyfriend Devin on Instagram recently (saw someone mentioned it in a comment and I checked and it’s true). Have you heard anything about a break up? Just curious! I didn’t notice so I have no idea. If they break up, I’m sure you’ll see an announcement. I haven’t seen one yet, so I don’t know.

Also, just a comment but on ATFR Becca mentioned that she & Garrett were thinking about moving to California. Is it just me or is that the worst thing to possibly do after coming off one of these shows? I was really thinking they would be the least fame-hungry, down to earth couple but after that I’m not so sure hah!

Thanks!!

Comment: Yeah, it’s not something that’s been successful in the past for couples. Especially when neither of them are from there. But maybe there’s a reason why and we just don’t know yet.
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Congrats on another great season of accurate spoilers! Another cheesy finale full of cliches… this season they kept talking about finding someone who “challenges you”… what does that even mean??? It’s Bachelor-speak. It’s been in the Bachelor Nation vocabulary for years, and yeah, there’s no real solid definition of what the hell these people are talking about because they never follow it up with anything.

Also, thanks for the great podcasts. I am a long distance runner and you keep me entertained during my long, boring runs. I just heard the Jemmye one and thought she was awesome. Very blunt and didn’t hold back talking about other people, but she never really trash-talked and was very fair, I thought. Jemmye was great. Maybe we’ll have her on again after Final Reckoning, which at this pace should be ending somewhere around Christmas of 2019. I kid. I think.

Lastly, thanks for being such an advocate for women’s issues in your coverage of situations like Paulie, Leo, Meredith, etc. You’re able to validate women and call out douchy behavior while maintaining your neutrality and integrity as a journalist. You always talk about making sure to know the facts, not jumping to conclusions, and at the same time really speak up for what is right. I can’t imagine that’s always an easy line to walk and you do a great job.

Looking forward to hearing your comments about BIP!!

Comment: Thanks. I appreciate it. As I said yesterday, there have definitely been a couple times in the past that I look back on now and wish I held back. Times are changing, and I think so am I with them. I know my column is light years different than it was 10 years ago. It’s not even close. I was much harsher back in the day. It’s cringeworthy.
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Hi Steve!

Just finished Becca’s season and personally I am rooting for Jason as the next Bachelor but that is neither here nor there. I have a few questions:

1. Why do we see The Bachelor pull from the way back (Brad 2.0, Nick, Arie) But The Bachelorette never pulls anyone from a few seasons back? They did for Emily. Her season was a year removed when they made her the “Bachelorette.” But yeah, that was about it.

2. To your knowledge has a lead ever changed their mind literally at the proposal? I felt for Becca and wondered how hard she was questioning things when Blake was spilling his guts. Not to my knowledge.

3. Did you read Rachel’s blog about how unfair it was that Her love story with Bryan wasn’t really shown? I wonder if producers reworked Garret’s storyline after production ended do make him look better as the final choice? Because I think Rachel’s story was more typical- throwing us red herrings so the ending was less obvious.

Thanks for all the spoilers!

Comment: I’m not sure if that’s how they edited the season. Tough to say.
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Hey Stevalicious,

First off – if you didn’t see the continued cries for #Jasonforbachelor last night, you weren’t looking very hard. This morning, even Becca and Garrett both gave him an unequivocal endorsement. He certainly has a chance, but, so does Blake. I don’t think anyone can say one has a lead over the other, because anyone can make their argument based on who they like more. Jason fans will tell you there’s way more support for Jason over Blake, and Blake fans will tell you there’s way more support for Blake over Jason.

Secondly, during the off-season, would you consider doing a podcast with Rob Cesternino of Survivor and #RHAP fame? I think a conversation between the two of you would be fun since your respective empires have similar backgrounds with both of you starting your blog/podcast just for fun and then growing into dominance because you feed the fandoms’ needs better than the franchises themselves.

Enjoy Paradise, and good luck with your upcoming work on Jason’s season of The Bachelor. 😉

Comment: I think there’s a very good chance at some point Cesternino will be on the podcast.
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1. Garrett is lucky that they didn’t actually show the offensive Instagram posts on the show, like they did with Lee. Viewers that don’t follow this show on the internet probably didn’t know what the hell they were talking about. I’m guessing that if he wasn’t the final guy chosen, they would have showed it. I mean I guess it’s possible.

2. Do you think it was dumb of Garrett to not unlike the photos before he went on the show? I’m guessing it never crossed his mind to unlike them. But that goes for anybody. You’re also talking to a guy who basically never hits like on anything on IG.

3. Doesn’t it always seem like every season, the bachelorette sends a lot of the shy, nerdy guys home early while the casanovas like Robby and Arie last long on the show? Do you think that there is some truth to the belief that women are attracted to “bad boys” and think that nice guys are boring? Or maybe that sleazy guys are just better at manipulating women? I think there’s something to be said for both of those. And on this show, because you get so little interaction with the guys, lets face it, that first night you’re pretty much just keeping around who you find physically attractive.

4. I’m guessing that Angela must have gotten the spot on paradise that was supposed to go to Bekah M. Astrid didn’t get much screentime on Nick’s season either, but she lasted longer on the show. However, Angela is hot, so I get why the producers decided to cast her and I understand why Colton was talking to her. It seemed like on Nick’s season, he sent a lot of the hot women home early and I know I’m not the only one who thinks that. Maybe. Angela is definitely attractive. But then again, so is pretty much everyone on that cast.

5. Have you listened to Olivia’s podcast with Tierra?

Comment: Like the first 20 minutes. Haven’t finished it yet.
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Send all links and emails to: steve@realitysteve.com. To follow me on Twitter, it’s: www.twitter.com/RealitySteve. Instagram name is “RealitySteve,” join my Reality Steve Facebook Fan Page, or listen to all my podcasts at Apple Podcasts. Talk to you tomorrow.

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13 Comments

13 Comments

  1. LynnMJ

    August 8, 2018 at 10:55 AM

    I remember how creepy it was when Leo was on his date with Becca, getting way too touchy-feely. Gross. It truly made my skin crawl.

  2. rob22

    August 8, 2018 at 12:27 PM

    I agree. Leo is a creeper. That look of his doesn’t work unless you’re trying to make everyone’s skin crawl. I can kinda sorta understand when boyfriends and girlfriends send naked pics to one another. Stupid. But I understand it. I do not understand a guy sending an unsolicited d*ck-pic to multiple women. What guy thinks that’s going to be a winning move?

  3. pugmom

    August 8, 2018 at 12:51 PM

    I have to admit Leo really is pretty creepy. I really feel bad for Rachel. When I read her blog about the finale, I know she opened up quite a bit about how she felt about the finale. In my opinion she should create some distance between herself and the franchise. I also kinda disagree about them showing more of Becca’s relationship with Garrett. I feel like they focused more on everyone else. But in the finale they did show quite a bit of her date with him. But that’s the most time they dedicated to that.

  4. tinyred500

    August 8, 2018 at 1:05 PM

    I’ll wade into this one with Leo, I too noticed his date with Becca….hmmm, I can’t say I disagree with the above comments. However I do have say how ‘handsey’ most Bachelors are even when on a first group date or one on one. They aren’t adverse to bum touching or a hand on the upper thigh that early on. Whether they are actively told or encouraged to (by the producers) I have no idea….I find it too forward.

  5. jlal

    August 8, 2018 at 2:14 PM

    Leo never creeped me out before, but send dic pics is just wrong. Rob22, I’m with you all the way. I don’t get sending naked pics at, but kinda get the boyfriend and girlfriend thing. However even then, how do you know what they’re are going to do when you break up. But, sending them unsolicited to anybody is stupid and creepy. Also, agree tinyred that some of the guys seem way too forward way too soon.

  6. jlal

    August 8, 2018 at 3:25 PM

    I didn’t read Rachel’s blog, always thought they sacrificed her story to play up Peter. Who then turned around and screwed them by turning down the bachelor offer. For the record, I was never a Peter fan; didn’t get his appeal.

  7. pugmom

    August 8, 2018 at 4:36 PM

    I agree. I never really understood why people were so crazy over him.

  8. tinyred500

    August 9, 2018 at 12:23 AM

    That should have been ‘handsy’…typo! Pffft!

  9. jlal

    August 9, 2018 at 5:39 AM

    tinyred500, No worries!! I quit apologizing for my typos; hate that this site doesn’t have an edit feature.
    It is really hard using my phone, which I have to do at home. There is a big delay in typing the letter and it showing up, so I screw up all the time.

    One more thought on Leo, or really on posting dic pics. I think that sending unsolicited dic pics is the same as flashing someone. You’re exposing your private parts to someone who doesn’t want to see them, didn’t ask to see them, and has no control over seeing them. Not to mention you have no control over who see them – meaning it could be a child. It should be criminal.

  10. tinyred500

    August 9, 2018 at 6:03 AM

    The thing with the internet and thus the ease of contact via social media, is that it’s removed people away from ‘feelings’ or ‘responsibility’, how another person would feel with an action or words committed by another person. If you relate it to real life, any normal person would never dream of jumping through your window and flashing their privates at you, or give you a mouthful of what they think about you having never met you etc. So many fail to engage their brains.

  11. supersparklyday

    August 10, 2018 at 9:55 PM

    I read Rachel’s blog of the Finale and did not enjoy how she made Becca’s finale all about her, with an occasional “but I’m happy for Becca & Garrett” thrown in there. I won’t be reading anything else of hers from now on.

  12. logo65

    August 13, 2018 at 2:23 PM

    I read Rachel’s blog, and she seems to be saying that Becca wasn’t blindsided by a breakup on ATFR like she was. Um, hello? Did she forget Arie’s season? Was that enough of an emotional blindside? is this a competition? I imagine the producers did it that way because the Peter story was way better TV than the Bryan story. I am glad she is happy, but ratings is ratings.

  13. upmyalley

    August 14, 2018 at 9:50 PM

    Speaking of creepy, I can’t even hear the name Sean Lowe without bile coming up into my mouth.No freaking way I’d listen to a 2 hour podcast of his holier than thou diatribe. Ewww, he just grosses me out.

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