Reality Steve

Reader Emails

“Reader Emails,” Ratings, “Love Island,” & “Paradise Hotel” Winners on the Podcast This Week

Photo Credit: ABC

1. In response to the reader from last week who was completely baffled as to why the show spoiled that Hannah dumped Luke, I think it is because they are trying to minimize the backlash that Hannah has been receiving for keeping him around for so long. People who don’t read your spoilers will realize that at least she didn’t pick him. Good point. Could very well be the reason.

2. I’m guessing that the show decided to air the hometown dates in the order that she handed out the roses in the rose ceremony. Eh, I don’t think order on that really matters.

3. I looked at both Jed and Haley’s Instagram and they each had pictures of the trip to the Bahamas, but they currently don’t have any of them together. Haley must have deleted a pic because the US Weekly article did have a pic of them together. Why didn’t the producers warn Hannah that Jed went on a vacation with another woman a month before filming?

Comment: Because they probably didn’t know. The pictures Haley gave the media were all private ones. Those were never public according to her.
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Steve,

After watching the episode last night, I’m wondering if Haley ever met Jed’s family or if they knew of her. Would be a great follow up question for her. I can’t get a good read of if his family was apprehensive because they were concerned how this would impact his “music career” or if they knew he had a girlfriend and it would be inevitable that this would blow up on him. His mother’s nonverbal reaction when Hannah said “I know he dated a girl for a long time” really made me think she was aware of Haley. Even his sister was throwing vibes like this is not going to end well for Jed. Maybe he just really sold this to his family as something he was doing for his music but they seemed legitimately concerned about what was happening.

Would love to hear you break it down on your next podcast or get some thoughts in reader emails!

Comment: Haley definitely met his family on more than one occasion. She said she did on the podcast.

The “girl he dated for a long time” wasn’t Haley. We know they only dated for 4 months because Haley told us their timeline. I’m aware of the longer ones he was with. Spoke to one. Another never responded, but I heard through her friends. Neither wanted to be involved in any of this. That’s why they haven’t come forward with any stories or dirt. And they’ve got some.
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Steve,

I’m a little late to the game, but, the podcast with Haley was refreshing and real. Thanks for handling this so well and bringing the truth to light with care. I’m glad she got a lot of time to get her story out and share the FACTS.

I honestly do not see how Jed is going to share “his side” when the time comes. I saw his post yesterday on Insta and I cannot fathom how he thinks he’s going to speak out about this. I hope he just says he’s sorry and he screwed up big time. I hate that they are receiving threats. Is that really true? I love to make fun of this show and the contestants. I do not like Jed, but threats?! What type of threats? Who the heck does that…..I can’t say whether Jed is or isn’t lying when he says that. I guess he can’t technically prove it unless he shows us. But I’ll take his word that they are, because the guy is already taking a ton of heat from everyone. Of course there are people who might think he’s going for the sympathy card, but I gotta believe this guy isn’t stupid enough to make up lies about threats and harassment.

As far as Luke goes he is triggering for me and for so many other women I’ve talked to. He has evolved into a completely different villain than I expected. I dated a boy like him once (notice “boy”) Their families are similar and I was having flashbacks last night as I watched. So. crazy. I’m a Christian, and I do not condone anything he’s said or done this season at all. We aren’t perfect, I get it but man he has been ripped a part this season and I know the producers play a big part-but he is also at fault for giving into this stuff. I hate that he’s made Christians look terrible and fake. He gave them too much ammo. Lets hope he learns from this.

Is Peter’s ex-gf situation the same as Jed’s? Peter clearly mentioned an ex last night. I wish we had more pieces of the puzzle. I get why the girl doesn’t want to come out but it’d be nice to know some more info than what we have. No. I don’t think so. They are definitely on different levels. But if I were Peter’s ex, I think she has a right to be pretty pissed at how everything went down.

In conclusion, as every fan feels, I hope Hannah and Tyler reunite.

Comment: It’s possible they could. Or it’s possible they couldn’t.
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Hey Steve,

Big fan of yours all the way from Uganda. First time sending you an email. I hope you are healthy and well. Love how you serve the tea cause it makes viewing a little more interesting. I have two questions for you. Uganda? This has to be a first, right?

1: Why are you so stuck on the whole Mike won’t be the next ‘bachelor’? I know it’s too soon to say who it will be and I know he was a bit of a drama king constantly gossiping but I think he really is the whole package. He is different. Proper job. Proper lifestyle. Great personality. Looks hot. Usually the black contenders on the show don’t get as much hype as he has. I think it’s time. I think he would make a great bachelor. Peter and Tyler and the same guys we see all the time!!!!!. You don’t even say a maybe…you think 100% he won’t get it. I wonder why? It’s just my opinion. I can certainly be wrong. I just don’t see it myself.

2: Who is your absolutely best Bachelor nation couple? Aside from Ashley and JP? I would love to know who you vibed with the most from the show.

Comment: Who I vibed with? Meaning like who I met? I actually haven’t met any of them. Or are you asking who I think I’d vibe with? Outside of Ashley and JP, maybe I’d go with Sean and Catherine just because they’re local.
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I was listening to you and Olivia talk about religion in regards to Luke and I had some thoughts. I think it’s strange that Luke even bothered to go on this show in the first place. Did he not see when Hannah admitted on Colton’s season that she’s not a virgin? That should have been his first clue that’s she wouldn’t have any issue with sex in the fantasy suites. It’s been really strange to see the Christian faith represented on tv the way it has this season. The possessiveness, gas lighting, manipulation, aggressiveness, and lying are all very anti Christian and it makes me sad that this is the impression that millions of Americas are seeing every week. Yes waiting til marriage is important to many Christians, but that doesn’t give Luke the right to shame someone else (on national tv!) for not believing what he does. Luke simply needs to realize that not all Christians choose to follow everything in the Bible and move on. Also the hypocrisy is rich considering how much he’s boasted about sleeping around.

Comment: This show wasn’t for Luke. I agree on that. He never should’ve gone on in the first place. But that cat’s out of the bag, so at this point, all he can do is take this as a giant learning lesson.
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I had to laugh at Jed’s post about his family. While I agree that threats are never okay, he does realize that they’re also part of his charade, right? They’re guilty, too.

They met Haley. If they’re as close as he’s portraying them all to be, than they must have known his plan. No one mentioned a breakup days before he left for the show. They played their part, they sold his story. So yes, they all contributed to conning Hannah.

If his family was so innocent they would have, could have refused to film. But they were all there. They either wanted their 15 minutes, or were willing to lie on national television to help their son and brother. No one mentioned the girl he was with mere weeks before his mom was grilling Hannah on whether or not she loved her son. I was actually shocked at how hypocritical that scene was.

Hannah said something about the families not signing up for this. True. But, as we’ve seen, some family members opt out of being involved on camera. Jed’s did not.

If they want to claim they were contractually obligated to film, that they didn’t want to be a part of his games… well, it sure didn’t look that way to me.

As a woman, I’m particularly enraged at what his mom and sister did to both Hannah and Haley. I expect less of men, I’m sad to say. But women? They should be ashamed.

I love my son with all my heart, and while he’s only two years-old, I can guarantee you that there will never come a time when I’ll play a part in him so deliberately hurting others so that he can get ahead.

You know Luke P. has been down on his knees in that roadside diner-looking setting for his prayer group, thanking the heavens that Jed couldn’t keep his d*ck in his pants. Jesus from the shower won’t be the one to save his reputation. It’s all thanks to Jed that he now looks a million times better by comparison!

You’re the best, as always.

Comment: That was pretty comical. Good email.
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Hi Steve,

Do you think the condom in Peter’s center console was planted there by a producer? There was a camera mounted on his dashboard to record their ride, someone could have easily dropped the condom in there while setting up the camera. Perhaps Hannah was then advised to see what she could find in Peter’s car as a way of getting to know him better, setting up the entire interaction.

Comment: Very possible, but I don’t know for sure.
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Hi Steve,

Long time reader, first time emailer. I actually started watching the Bachelor/Bachelorette during Ben’s season after watching Burning Love (bachelor parody) and then became curious of what the ‘real’ show was like. Thank god for your spoilers, as it makes the show WAY more entertaining to watch.

Also appreciate, you giving a platform to women (and men) to make their voices heard about some of these contestants. You handle it in a very logical and respectful manner.

So onto my question/this might be more of a weird philosophical conclusion I’ve drawn and interested if you think the same…

Over the last few years, I can’t help but notice a growing trend. People refusing to listen to what you present (Jordan and Jenna’s situation, Jed’s lying ways, Peter’s ex and on and on). They just believe what they want over the receipts/facts you present. It almost reminds me of what’s going on in politics today. It drives me crazy that people believe in what they feel instead of actual facts. Have you heard of kayfabe? It’s a wrestling term but it’s being used more and more to describe our current political situation and I think can be used to describe with what’s going on with the bacehlor show/’reality tv. Kayfabe isn’t merely a suspension of disbelief, it is philosophy about truth itself. It rests on the assumption that feelings are inherently more trustworthy than facts. So people believe in the story and in the good and bad characters being portrayed. Luke is playing the evil villain and Tyler is prince charming. People are rooting and/or bullying these people because they are into the story. Thought this might be the answer to what’s going on in the bachelor world and beyond and why people send threatening letters. Not only because they are crazy but maybe they are just wrapped up in the story. Curious if this makes any sense to you?

Comment: Excellent point. Been making it myself in the last year or so. Facts don’t matter to people anymore. It’s their own self truths. If it’s what they believe personally, then that must be the way it is. The hell with actual facts anymore. Scary times we live in unfortunately.
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Hi Steve! This season has been insane but awesome because of all your spoilers. Couple questions:

1. Do you think they went back and edited Jed’s hometown after all this news broke? Hard to know.

2. What were your thoughts on the irony of what Jed said at the end of the hometowns episode about how he didn’t want to be grouped together with Luke since Luke is so awful? Very ironic.

3. Would the possibility of Peter’s old girlfriend coming forward keep producers from casting him as the next bachelor after seeing how much hate is out there for Jed after his came out? I don’t think so. Even if she did talk, most people would probably dismiss it (kinda like how the Tayshia story from her ex no one seemed to care about even though it was pretty egregious) because he’s already well liked and gotten a great edit. Don’t think her speaking would change that unfortunately.

4. What is the best podcast (other than yours) to listen to about the bachelor? I’ve listened to a few different ones and just haven’t liked them.

Thanks for another great season!

Comment: Well, the only two I’ve ever listened to more than one segment of is Olivia’s and Juliet Litman’s “Bachelor Party” podcast, so I’ll say them.
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Hi Steve,

I noticed this wasn’t answered on your reader emails columns. I ask because if Patrick knew about Haley on premier night (within a few days of FRC), I wonder if Jed admitted to it (which I don’t think he did), or if he found out through someone else, and if so, was he giving Hannah the heads up? That was quite a bit earlier than we believe the break up happened, so I wonder if she was fine with it until she learned the People story was breaking. All of it seems a bit odd, IMO. I tend to think that something went down sooner than we believe.

Comment: Well I did report that Jed told Hannah about Haley shortly after the engagement. I don’t know the exact day, but maybe it was right away. The engagement happened on May 9th or 10th (sorry, already forgot which day), and her premiere was on the 13th. So maybe he told her right away during their extra few days together, Hannah told family, and the brother started following.
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Hi Steve,

I have a question about hometowns. I feel like the same, or very similar, responses are given by the parents every season during them. I especially noticed it during Peter and Tyler’s this season. Does production provide the parents with a list of comments and reactions in hopes they’ll say them? Maybe they even get them saying it on camera multiple times so they can slip it in during editing and make it seem more real?

Comment: The parents are no different than the contestants in ITM’s. Producers know exactly what to ask and how to ask it. All we’re hearing is them responding to something that’s asked of them, which is no doubt a leading question to get them to say what the producer wants.
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Hi Steve,

If Jed was only on the show to promote his music, why didn’t he just bow out when things started getting too deep with Hannah? He could have made up something and say he’s not ready to commit and say his goodbyes before the final. That’s what he told Haley he was gonna do. Just because someone might want to leave, doesn’t mean the show will let them. It’s not that easy. Can’t tell you how many examples of this in the past there have been. You are under their control when you’re out there. You can’t just say you wanna leave and they immediately let you go. They have a story to tell. If they feel you’re a major part of it, you ain’t going anywhere.

2. That way he would’ve gotten major exposure as a final contestant, could’ve gone back to Hailey after (or ghost, but still) and not get bad press for leading Hannah on until the engagement.

Side note: thanks for giving me a reason to watch this show. You’re the GOAT.

Comment: This all goes back to the fact that I don’t think Jed ever thought for a second that Haley would go to the press with his receipts. Like most cheaters, he didn’t think he’d get caught.
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Hi Steve,

I just have to comment on Jed’s mother’s statement on last night’s episode. It was something to the effect of “you don’t get a diploma to be a musician.” Oh, how mistaken she is. Maybe that’s why he’s not a very good musician, but there are thousands upon thousands of musicians who have worked very hard to study music in school so that they can hone their musicianship and make a successful career for themselves. Seems like a much more legitimate way to make a music career for oneself than by going on a dating show. Some of those schools are even right there in Nashville…

Comment: Burn, Mrs. Wyatt.
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Hi Steve! I’ve only watched the bachelor franchise since Arie’s season. Around that time, I discovered you on twitter and have been a big fan ever since. I love knowing the spoilers and watching them come to life. With Hannah’s clusterf#ck of a season, I can’t help but wonder why they continue to choose people that are clearly doing it for the platform? Jed may be the only one to admit it, but I’d say most, if not all, of the contestants have ulterior motives. Ulterior motives could contribute to the majority of the relationships not working out (oh and the proposal after 6 weeks may have something to do with it, too!). If I recall, Becca and Garrett were both nominated by others and they seem to be working out well. Seems like producers would begin to choose more off the grid contestants that are truly searching for love and not a platform for their “brand”.

Comment: Because people are still watching. If you’re tuning into this show to watch 25 sincere and most compatible people with the lead, you’re never going to get that. That doesn’t make good TV. It’s a television show, and it is cast as such. That’s why there are story editors, a crew of over 100, and tons of manipulation behind the scenes. They have to create something or else just filming them all day long without any poking or prodding would produce one boring ass show.
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Hi Steve,

I agree with you, the only way Jed gets any chance at redemption is if he takes 100% responsibility for what he did. I concede that your original assessment of what Jed is going to do when he is able to speak publicly, was the correct one – he is going to deny it all. I don’t think you need to wrack your brain trying to figure out what he could possibly say.. he’s given a massive clue he will be denying all. I had hope he would take ownership of the lying and cheating, but I no longer have hope for that. Why? Because of Jed’s post today. He thanked people for not jumping to conclusions until they hear his side. He doesn’t have a “side”. What’s he going to do? show receipts and photos to prove the opposite of what Haley is alleging? It appears to me he doesn’t understand that he screwed up. I mean truly understand. If he did truly get it, he would never have given even a whiff of a denial. I didn’t sense humility or any hint that he understood he had done wrong. We’ll find out soon enough. Yeah, it’s pretty confusing what his “side” could even be. I have no clue. If he says they were broken up, Haley knew they were broken up, and it wasn’t serious, well, the receipts speak otherwise. Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve never told anyone I love them that I wasn’t crazy about. And he was with her the night before he left. Any type of downplaying of his relationship with Haley should fall on deaf ears. Just admit your mistake, realize it cost you your engagement, and move on.

Hannah comes across as having a big personality and pretty darn real. Watching her react in the moment this season – one thing jumps out at me. She is not blind to what is happening. She sees all. She is calling it as she is seeing it. Her instincts are actually much sharper than people are giving her credit for. She is just choosing to go with emotions (as many of us often do with romance), rather than wait for logic and sense to catch up. My advice for Hannah moving forward is to be patient and take her time and wait for her emotions and logic/brain to be on the same page. To trust her instincts when she senses red flags and not move forward until the red flags have been addressed. She has been rushing to “The Bachelorette’s” television production timeline.. and not going at her own pace. I get it, it’s hard to reconcile the two – but when you rush, it’s very easy to make the wrong decisions, as we have seen. She did the best she could given the circumstances. Kudos to her. Big learning lesson for her. She now has the opportunity to grow and become even more awesome!

My idealistic/romantic side secretly hopes she realizes Tyler was the one and they get together, but honestly.. the best thing for Hannah is to be on her own right now. She is in the midst of an emotional roller coaster and she needs time to sort it all out. She needs to be happy and healthy on her own… and when she gets there.. then and only then is she ready to build a healthy relationship with someone.

Comment: Yeah, I think the ATFR is too early for them. But if that’s at least what one of the parties wants here, then production will force it to happen. Maybe it’ll end up working out in the long run. Impossible to predict right now. No one knows anything. I just think she should stay single for a bit, but that’s just me.
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Hi Steve,

I just want to thank you for how you pass no judgement or criticism towards others who follow their faith and have their personal beliefs. This day and age, it’s refreshing. So, thank you.

Comment: Thanks. I just don’t see the point. As long as you’re not preaching to me or are telling me why I’m wrong because I don’t believe whatever you believe, then it doesn’t affect my life in any way, so you do you and I’ll do me. I’ll never understand people who get so worked up about stuff like that, or, because someone doesn’t believe in what they believe in makes the other person wrong. Makes zero sense.
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Dear Steve,

Bring back Hannah G, will you consider her to be the next Bacherolotee? She is stunning and interesting as a personality. She got engaged on BIP. Not happening.

Hannah B was the worst contestant ever! She has green eyes and is a terrible person and a tart!

It was the only show I could not watch, I only watched four episodes, and could not bear to see her ugly mug, and tarty behaviour. Women supporting women, everyone.

Will Consider Peter the Plane man on the next Bachelor, the was Gorgeous!

Comment: Peter the Plane Man. Kinda funny. You know, next time I fly, the guy who flys my plane, you know, one who probably went to flight school, did hours behind the scenes of flying planes to get that pilot’s license, I think I’ll thank him next time by saying, “Great flight Mr. Plane Man. Thank you.”
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Hey Steve –

Few questions for you:

1. During the hometown dates, do the contestants get to see their families any other time besides filming? I couldn’t help but wonder during this week’s episode if Jed gave his family a heads up about still being with Hannah so far in the show, and if he had any time to explain (off camera) to them why he was still there when he had a girlfriend at home. No. The first time they see them is when they walk through the door.

2. Do the contestants know the order that hometowns and fantasy suites will happen? Or are they just told their date and when they should show up to the rose ceremony? They aren’t told which number they are, but you can probably figure out by how long you have to wait before you fly to your hometown. For example, Luke had the first hometown on April 20th. They were in the Netherlands til the 18th. So Luke had to have known he was first. And Peter’s hometown was on the 26th. The hometown date rose ceremony was on the 27th. So he obviously knew he was last. Tyler and Jed could probably figure out where they stood.

3. When do they make the decision on who is the bachelor? I know they don’t announce it until after paradise, but when does the lead actually find out?

Comment: Right before. Arie didn’t find out until the night before when he was told to get on a plane to go on GMA. They have multiple guys sign contracts, so when they make their decision, they can immediately go into filming and don’t have to worry about any paperwork.
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Hi Steve,

I think I’m largely in your camp re Luke. Also, the other guys bitching about him in the corner at the rose ceremony – not a good look. I may not share Luke’s religious views especially around premarital sex and I am a staunch feminist for sure (we’ll see how that conversation goes next week). But you can see where his heart is, how faith is at the core of who he is, he just hasn’t learnt how that translates into how he leads his life yet. He massively lacked self awareness, a competitive environment brings out his worst, and he was putty in producers’ hands I’m sure.

I do think it’s still valid to criticise his gaslighting and slightly controlling tendencies. While it may not be at the worst end of the spectrum, as I don’t believe he has bad intentions (even if problematic re women’s sexual autonomy – again, tension with his religious views), abusive relationships often start out with lower level manipulative behaviour and get progressively worse over time. I don’t think that would be Luke, personally. But it’s important to call out problematic behaviour if it means women in toxic relationships can recognise red flags and get out earlier. That’s all. I agree. I hope he watched this show and realized what he’s doing and how he comes across is wrong.

Liking your perception of Tyler C and Peter. I love Tyler, and we haven’t seen bad press about him, but I am aware he’s human. He could be on the cocky side, seeing e.g. his treatment of Luke (including post-show shade on Twitter), or maybe he’s just made a couple of bad calls with some of the pettier comments. No one’s perfect. Shows his age more than anything, which is absolutely fine. Again – the point is he’s human. Let’s hope there’s no Blake/Dean/Jed behaviour in his future and he remains what looks like a solid, decent guy. Assuming Tyler doesn’t get back with Hannah, or doesn’t get chosen to be the Bachelor, he becomes this season’s Blake. Lets see if he handles himself better. Yes, he’s a single man and can do whatever he wants, but there’s a way to handle yourself when single, and then there’s how Blake chose to lead his life. There’s a difference.

Cheers for all you do. How soon after MTA taping do you usually post your spoilers? Depends year to year?

Comment: I’m sure I’ll tweet some stuff out over the weekend, then post as much as I can in the column on Tuesday.
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Hi Steve,

A few thoughts:

1. Luke has gotten a bad rap. The other guys were jealous of him from day one with the first impression rose, his looks, and his confidence in expressing his feelings for Hannah very early on. The guys ganged up on him and it’s been a bully party ever since – nearly all of them thinking they were better than him. Garrett was an instigator with his rude and ugly cockiness. Anyone would have a challenging time dealing with that much hate in front of a TV audience. Yes, Luke let his frustration surface a few times, but given how much heat he was given, I think he held his cool far more than most would have in a similar circumstance (and far more than the female contestants do!) I don’t want to say he got a bad rap. He brought a lot of it upon himself. That’s undeniable. I just think the mob mentality of everyone else went a little overboard. They had every reason to be pissed and frustrated at the guy. But let it go after a while. 10 episodes of this? C’mon.

2. I feel that TV land, especially these days, will stop at nothing to take advantage of an opportunity to make fun of/ridicule men and women of faith. The show exposed Luke’s faith in a backwards way, let the guys make total fun of him sharing a very personal experience, yet they didn’t show Hannah expressing what she felt was her faith and what they might have had in common. I think their lack of showing how Hannah and Luke were connected in their faith is one of the underlying mishandles of the season without a doubt.

3. Unfortunately, I think Luke overestimated Hannah’s faith – or her expression of it. How she carried on – openly with many men – would not have indicated to me that she would be the kind of woman to hold back on an opportunity for sex, before or during fantasy suite week. If that’s what he assumed or expected from her, he misread her. If she truly respected his faith, she should have been honest and let him know their own expressions of their faith were in different places (no judgment, just acknowledging different places).Agree. They absolutely 100% are in complete disagreement on how each express their faith. Not everyone is the same and these two are a prime example.

4. Luke’s hometown visit was heartwarming and heartbreaking. It reinforced my hunch that what was being shown with the guys was not the full, real Luke. The genuine warmth with and from his friends and family was great. I was proud of him for choosing to share his faith in a deeper way with her rather than just spending time smooching endlessly. After all he’s been through, that took a lot of courage and depth. It definitely humanized him and showed him in a light we hadn’t seen the first 7 episodes.

5. Very disappointed in Hannah; I’ve lost respect for Hannah. Just plain rude and unladylike (flipping him off on TV? Really?). She doesn’t deserve Luke, and he’s better off without her. I don’t think that makes her unladylike to flip him off. If she was pissed, which she definitely was, and felt disrespected, she can do what she wants. These two in the end were not for each other. Unfortunately, we’re gonna see them realize that and it play out in an ugly way on national television. I think unladylike would be if Hannah screamed, pointed fingers, flipped tables, and went ape sh**. I think speaking her mind like she did and flipping someone the bird as they’re driving away is pretty tame.

6. Great idea for you to interview Luke after the show. I agree with you that it would indeed be very insightful, and it give him a real chance to speak his peace without hateful voices all around him.

Comment: I want to. I just don’t know if it’s possible. He might only be allowed to do “Bachelor approved” podcasts, if he does any. We’ll see what happens.
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Send all links and emails to: steve@realitysteve.com. To follow me on Twitter, it’s: www.twitter.com/RealitySteve. Instagram name is “RealitySteve,” or join my Reality Steve Facebook Fan Page. Talk to you tomorrow.

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