You shouldn’t be surprised that Friday’s column didn’t go up. Unless I’m in California and it’s a “Bachelor” recap, I think we can just assume I’m not gonna do it. I seriously contemplated putting it up Sunday afternoon, but after one of the longest nights out on Saturday, let’s say I was in no shape, nor the right frame of mind to be talking about what the hell happened on “Celebrity Apprentice”. That was by far one of the more fun and inebriated nights I’ve had in a while. So I’d like to thank the five others I was with that night, Mahe’s, Kobe’s, and Jack’s Bistro for providing endless amounts of alcohol to the six of us, and letting me wear out my dancing shoes over the course of three or four hours. The dancing fool was on display all over Seal Beach this past Saturday night. I should’ve charged admission to watch those performances. Also, apparently I’ve earned the nickname “Spiderman” from that evening. Hmmmm, interesting. Some stories are better left untold, although that story apparently will have legs for years. The more it’s told, the more exaggerated and over-the-top it gets. Do I deserve the nickname? It’s debatable. I’ll stick with Reality Steve for the time being. All in all, an unbelievable train wreck of a night that won’t soon be forgotten or matched. Until I show up again next month, I’m sure.

Good news! The comments section is back to working again. A little different with the number of comments appearing at the top of the column and not the bottom, and obviously you still have to register to the site to leave a comment (to weed out all the d-bags), but right now it looks to be fully functional. Also, the site underwent another face lift. Can’t say it’ll be the last one either. It might, but I have no idea. We’re still trying things out. I like the fact the left hand margin has widened a bit so the column doesn’t look so cramped. But with banners and web advertising now, only certain formats will allow us to do what we want, so bear with us. I’m guessing it’ll change again at some point, so get your comments in now before it stops working again.

As you know, I never watch Idol live (or anything for that matter since there’s no need to with the invention of TiVo and DVR’s), however last night that worked to my disadvantage, as I’m assuming it did with everyone else who didn’t add minutes to their recording since Adam Lambert’s performance got cut off. They weren’t even back from commercial and an hour and two minutes into the show when mine cut off. So there will be no review of Adam’s performance since I never saw it. Two reviews I read online said he sang “Mad World” from 1982, Simon was the only judge who commented and gave him a standing ovation. Really? I don’t remember Simon ever giving anyone a standing ovation in the history of this show yet he did it for Adam when most of America never saw it? I wonder if they will replay Adam’s performance on the results show tonight since they know a lot of people record the show. My guess is they do although it won’t matter at that point since the votes are already in. Adam isn’t going anywhere anyway. On to the performances I actually did see.

Danny Gokey, “Stand By Me”: I really wasn’t a fan of this particular version. The original is much much better but he still sang it well. He can sing the phone book. See? I could be a judge on this show. And let’s point something out about the “Idol” producers in regards to Danny. Remember during the auditions and Hollywood week, they spent a lot of time focusing on his wife who died four weeks before the audition. Which they should’ve. It’s part of his story and there’s really no way it wouldn’t have got out anyway. But have you noticed that since the finals started, it hasn’t been mentioned once in any of the pre-packaged videos? Even Danny apologized before the finals started saying he was sorry if it was being shoved down peoples throats. Smart of them to pull back on it and let his singing stand on its own. Don’t they usually have an “Inspiration Week”? I’m guessing that’s when we’ll get the full court press again with the dead wife.

Kris Allen, “All She Wants To Do Is Dance”: One word: corny. It was obvious what the judges were going to say about the performance about 30 seconds in. I was watching it thinking, “If I were to hire out a band for a wedding or a party, and they played that song, that’s exactly how I’d expect the lead singer to perform it.” There was nothing exciting about that performance, and after back to back weeks, he could be in trouble. That was really bland. And that makes it two weeks in a row for people who performed off to the side of the judges in front of a little mosh pit that the judges didn’t like. Although, Matt’s “You Found Me” last week was 100 times better than Kris’ this week. I will still debate anyone til the end of time that Matt last week was a better than average performance. Still can’t believe they destroyed that performance.

Lil Rounds, “What’s Love Got To Do With It”: Well, at least she didn’t look 60 years old like she did last week. Another forgetful performance though. And even Paula gave her the dreaded, “Who are you as an artist” line tonight. That’s never good. We did find out that “Lil Rounds” isn’t a stage name. That was interesting. Lil is short for “Lilly”, her grandma’s name. Cute. And “Rounds” describes her ass.

Anoop Desai, “True Colors”: You know it’s a good performance if a guy can pull off singing a chicks song. I know this will come as a disappointment to Anoop and the music he wants to make someday, but he’s got to stop being an R&B wannabe since his voice is much more suited for ballads. Plus, the less we have to see of him trying to pop his collar and look like King Hard Ass while trying to dance, the better. Did Paula really have to say, “You showed your true colors tonight, like a rainbow?” C’mon, you lush. Could you possibly be any more cheesy? God, go away. The meds can only last so long. Anyone else notice this mini “controversy” they talked about with him last week talking back to the judges? I certainly didn’t. I had no idea he said “Excuse me?” back to Kara last week or I would’ve given him hell. No one talks to my woman like that. I didn’t even read about that on the internet anywhere. Guess I’m out of the loop. Anyway, don’t ever do it again Anoop. Kara will “Here’s the thing, you know” you to death.

Scott MacIntyre, “The Search Is Over”: Here’s what I got out of this performance: Scott should never not be in front of the piano, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t play one note on that guitar. It didn’t even sound like he was playing and it looked like his guitar was a toy. Very bizarre performance. He was just off the whole time. But Paula’s critique made up for everything. Actually, I don’t even know what she said during her critique since I couldn’t stop staring at the lipstick that was spread all over her teeth. She is officially the biggest mess on television. Every single week its something new with her. You know what you’re getting with Randy, you know what you’re getting with Kara, and you know what you’re getting with Simon. Paula? Forget it. She could cry after someone sings, or have sex with Corey Clark on stage, we never know. Some people may say that’s what makes her so interesting. I say it’s what makes her so annoying.

Allison Iraheta, “I Can’t Make You Love Me”: She sang well tonight, one of the first times I actually liked her peformance. But her outfit sucked. I didn’t get the ruffled feather dress with the leather jacket look. Didn’t make any sense. Especially for a song like that. And I couldn’t agree more with Simon when he told her that she needs to become more likable. Right now, I don’t see any star quality with her whatsoever. She’s not a mainstream America recording artist at this point and I think a lot has to do with the fact that we don’t know much about her. Then again, she’s only 16 so maybe there isn’t much to know. Her story isn’t all that interesting, and there’s just a warmness about her that’s missing. Look at me throwing in words like “warmness”. What the hell is wrong with me?

Matt Giraud, “Part Time Lover”: This performance infuriated me. Why? Because once again, Matt’s performance gets overshadowed by a time crunch and even though all four judges complimented him, it was up against the clock and all felt rushed. I’ve always liked this song, this is the type of music he will be making with his album, and he’s slowly becoming one of my all time favorites in this shows history. I think I might’ve said this before, but, I don’t think Matt will win this competition, but I think he may end up having the best career. He can sing, he’s got that “pop” look to him, and he’s a multi-talented performer. Very impressed with tonight but it wouldn’t shock me if he ends up in the bottom three. Unfortunate they were running out of time with him on the judges comments. That’s the 2nd or 3rd time that’s happened to him this season.

Adam Lambert, “Mad World”: Uhhhh, I guess it was good? Wouldn’t know. I’ll catch it online sometime tomorrow.

So this Friday we will have a double edition of “Reality Roundup”, even though my computer absolutely crashed again today. No idea what’s wrong with it. I’m going to have to use my fathers computer until this is fixed. I have no idea what happened. I get home from California and all these pop ups start showing and now when I turn it on, I can’t even get to my desktop before error messages start occurring. I really hate computers sometimes. But I will be back Friday with your regular “Reality Roundup” including some of the latest emails from you the readers. As always, any questions, comments, emails, praises, criticisms, guesses as to where “Spiderman” came from, feel free to email me at steve@realitysteve.com. See you Friday.

Administrator American Idol 8