-I don’t know what I liked more last night: the horribly planted audience members with the stupid questions, or the amounts of awkward silence on stage when Kiptyn and Reid were up there. It seemed like the first half hour was nothing but a bunch of facial expressions and people forgetting their lines. How awkward was that to watch? I can’t tell you how many times I could hear the humming of the lights in my room while Kiptyn and Reid were on stage. Here’s the problem I’ve always had with bringing the rejected bachelor or bachelorettes back. This season had the quickest turnaround from the time filming ended to the time the finale aired (2 months). In that time, the one(s) rejected at the end might labor some feelings, but lets face it, they’ve moved on. Hell half of them are usually banging somebody else by that point. Just ask Jenni from Brad’s season who was already back together with her ex, yet came to film that show and whipped up some tears for the audience. It’s usually 3 to 4 months removed from actual filming before that ATFR tapes, so do you really need answers from someone that far out after a break up? I usually only bug them for a couple weeks afterwards. Ha ha.

-So what are my thoughts after seeing Jillian and Ed together last night? The same as they were the night before. “But Steve, look how happy they were, and she’s even moving in with him.” Yeah, even better. The fact she’s moving in with the guy in a month, in my mind, is waaaaaaay too early. That’s just gonna speed up their break up. Happy couples holding hands and kissing on the “ATFR” means nothing in the history of this show. So did Andrew and Jen. So did Bob and Estella. So did Meredith and Ian. So did Travis and Sarah. So did Lorenzo and Jen. So did Matt and Shayne. So did DeAnna and Jesse. Hell, DeAnna and Jesse were giving us video and photo updates on essentially what they had for breakfast for 6 months telling us how much they were in love with each other, spending time with each others families, etc. How’d that work out for them? Look, I know every couple is different, but, I’ll play the odds on this one. Your experience on the show is completely removed from reality and what relationships are really about. Hence the reason this show is 1-for-17 in producing a marriage. I’ll stick with those odds. So when these two eventually break up for whatever reason, just remember what your reaction was after last night’s lovefest and I’ll remind you what you saw last night doesn’t mean anything. The final couple is ALWAYS happy at the “ATFR” show.

-So many of you were disappointed that they didn’t announce who the next Bachelor was going to be last night. I don’t know why since they’ve done many “ATFR” shows without announcing who the next one was. Here’s some statistical data to remember regarding this show. Only two of the thirteen Bachelors have been recycled (Bob and Jason), but all five Bachelorettes were (Trista, Meredith, Jen, DeAnna, and Jillian). Interesting dynamic. I wonder if there’s any rhyme or reason to that? However, they are on a mini streak right now as the last three seasons they’ve shown have been with recycled people (DeAnna, Jason, and Jillian). If you’re gonna go by Monday night’s finale, then you’d think they’re setting it up to be Reid. The Kiptyn rumor has been floating around for the last month or so, and the fact it hasn’t been confirmed I think pretty much kills that. Plus, the audience reaction to him isn’t anywhere near what it’s been for Reid. So if they do choose someone from this season, my guess is it would be Reid. But I have no idea where their head is at and Chris Harrison reiterated in his blog today once again that the next Bachelor hasn’t been chosen.

-And even though “US Weekly” hinted towards it last week, and Jillian even gave her endorsement for it in an interview, you can officially cross Michael Stagliano and his twin brother off the list for possibly being the next “Bachelor”. Why? Because Michael is now dating Holly Durst. I knew about this last week but I was told to wait until after this past weekend before saying anything since Holly went to visit him in NY. Apparently things went well since Monday morning, both of them had changed their facebook status to “In a Relationship” (with the other persons name) on each of their pages, so obviously they don’t care that people know. Wow. That didn’t take long. I knew they really hit it off when he was in L.A. for the “Men Tell All”, and I to see she made a quick turnaround to go see him in NY was a telling sign. Not to mention all of her tweets recently about how in love she is. Hey, maybe she is. Or maybe she isn’t. I don’t know. I haven’t watched their relationship on TV nor do I know of any ex-girlfriends floating around ready to speak. I guess we’ll see how it goes. Holly is an acquaintance of mine as most of you probably heard the interview so I wish her the best. I just thought that immediately going to “In a Relationship” status within a span of two weeks was awfully bold of them. I guarantee Facebook has caused A LOT of arguments between couples based on that “In a Relationship” status. That thing can get very tricky.

-Jillian wrote her final blog on People.com that you can see right here. What I find interesting is that last night on the show, they said they haven’t been apart more than five days total since the show ended. Then in the blog she says they spent “all summer together (every two weeks for five days at a time)”. Ummmm, so which one is it? Last time I checked, those are completely different statement. Saying you’ve spent all but five days together since filming ended two months ago means we’re looking at spending 55 of a possible 60 days together. Seeing each other “every two weeks for five days at a time” equates to 10 days a month, for a total of 20 days in two months. Wow. Two months into their relationship and they’re already lying to us. Nice. What’s next? Ed is a tiger in the bedroom? Oh yeah, they already disgustingly addressed that last night. Did Jillian really allude to how much they have sex last night? Classy. It’s bad enough we have to think of that guy in his awful European trunks, now we have to picture him doing it with someone other than his ex? Great. I think I’ll pass. But really, thanks for offering that bit of info last night. We were dying to hear how frequently you guys have sex. No, seriously.

-I wanted to share something with everyone that I don’t think I’ve ever posted before. Just with all the shenanigans that happened this season, and all the manipulation and editing I’ve been telling you about. This is an email that Brad Womack wrote to his cousin shortly after his finale aired and he’d dumped Jenni and DeAnna. No, this isn’t a private email that I got a hold of. If you google Brad Womack, you can find this thing on the internet. I’ve always had it in my possession because I think it’s one of the more telling things ever written about the behind the scenes stuff that goes on. And lets remember, Brad just wasn’t any contestant. He was the “Bachelor”. So for him to say this I think speaks volumes. For those that question the validity of it, I can assure you it’s authentic because, well, I’ve spoken to Brad about it and he confirmed he wrote it. I also recently brought it up with DeAnna and she confirmed that’s basically what Brad told her. So before we put a close on this season, just wanted to bring this to your attention. Here’s the email he wrote to his cousin:

(Name),

Brad

Good stuff. And you think Wes is the only one who got a bad edit? This guy was specifically stating he couldn’t see DeAnna as his wife on camera during his ITM’s, yet all America is shown is the first half of the sentence. From the minute Brad’s finale ended I’ve always thought that outside of Charlie’s season, his was my favorite ending. Never really understood the backlash against a guy just because he didn’t propose or choose one woman in the end. Why? The guy admitted he didn’t see a future with either of them so by choosing one of them, wouldn’t that be leading them on? Anyway, I know it’s old news and no need to bring up a season that happened two years ago, but I’ve always thought this email was a good indicator of how this show really works. Can’t believe I’d never printed it before. I guess I just figured a lot of people had seen it already since you can find it by googling his name.

-And what better way to close out this “Bachelorette” season than with a plug for our boy Wes. Ha ha. You know you love it. Call it kissing ass, call it whatever you want, I consider the guy a friend now so I will take this time to plug his appearance tomorrow night at the Glass Cactus in Grapevine, Texas. A few of us are headed out there tomorrow night and it should be a great time. I know a lot of you are either love it or hate it when it comes not only to Wes, but also country music. As I’ve said, I’ve never been a fan. Don’t despise it in the least bit, I just don’t buy much of it unless Carrie Underwood’s hot ass is on the cover. Ha ha. Anyway, Wes appeared on “Good Morning Texas” yesterday morning to do an interview and perform. No, he didn’t sing the song you all know and love. He actually does an acoustic version of “Gettin’ Around”, and I gotta tell you, I think it was a pretty damn good performance. The guy is a talented artist. Here are the links to the post show (internet only) interview he did, plus, his musical performance. Come on and check out the show if you’re in the DFW area. And if not, give the performance a listen and let me know what you think, regardless of if you’re a country fan or not.

Post show interview:

Musical Performance:

That’s it for this season for the time being. It’s had its ups and had its downs, but all in all, it was a good time. Trust me when I tell you I am still trying to work on letting some more information out about this season in general. I just need to see how I’m gonna go about doing this. Keep checking back periodically to RealitySteve.com for updates. No “Reality Roundup” Friday as I’m sure I’ll be three sheets to the wind on Thursday night, plus, my niece and nephew are in town tomorrow so that should keep me occupied. I will update when I can. Join on Facebook and Twitter, and don’t forget to purchase the last remaining RealitySteve.com merchandise before we’re all out. As always, any questions, comments, feedback, praises, criticisms, and anything else you’d like to ask, email me at steve@realitysteve.com. Talk to you soon.

Administrator The Bachelorette 5 - Jillian

-Woops. Didn’t see that one coming. Yes, I said it’d either be Ed or no one since I was 100% sure it wasn’t Kiptyn and 99% sure it wasn’t Reid. But that ending did take me by surprise since, well, there was no surprise at all. We all knew Reid was coming back, and if the guy was going to take time to come back, you’d figure it’d be to propose, and he did. But as Chris Harrison so eloquently stated when Jillian needed time to think about Reid, “If Ed was the man you woke up this morning knowing you were going to pick, then that’s your answer.” Like anyone thought for a second she was going to take him back. Anyway, more on that later. Let’s get to the “EXTRA” piece that aired last night. If you didn’t see it, here it is:

Uhhh, woops. Couple things to note about this interview. It took about fifteen minutes total and I did most of the talking. I know how “EXTRA” works where they cram about 100 entertainment stories into a 30 minute show, so I knew my face time wouldn’t be long. And I’m not complaining about the editing at all, just know I obviously had a lot more stuff to say. And really Mario? I follow the show “24/7″? Ha ha. Not quite. I do have a life outside of this show, despite what some of you may think. I did repeat that it was either going to be Ed or no one and I was sure it wasn’t Kiptyn and 99% sure it wasn’t Reid. But of course they ran the “There was not an engagement I can almost guarantee that” and “If I had to guess, I’d say right now she’s single” quotes. Oops. 0-for-2. See, I told you I didn’t know the ending this season. The only thing I knew was that it wasn’t Kiptyn or Reid. But that didn’t necessarily mean it was Ed. With the way they promoted the finale, and the way Jillian had been talking, it just didn’t seem like she was with anyone. But hey, give ABC credit. They coached her well not reveal her hand and she didn’t.

-A couple thoughts from the show since I never do a full recap for the finale. We all saw it. No need to talk about parent interaction when all anyone really cares about is the final result. But here are some quick thoughts of stuff that went on early in the episode:

-I loved Ed telling Jillian’s parents he could not stop thinking of her and he just had to come back to see her. Really? Ummm, not what I heard. Look, I’m not gonna get into the whole girlfriend thing back home regarding Ed. Yet. Let a couple days pass, lets see where her head is at, but I will say this again. If any of you think that what you saw last night was real, you’ve got another thing coming. Hopefully sooner rather than later. I mean, the guy that was one of the five added guys on the first night, who gets to leave mid-show to attend “business matters”, comes back and is the final one she picks? Really? Uh, huh. I believe it. Three months I give Jillian and Ed. Tops. Not a chance this thing lasts. Especially when she’s looking at a handle now of Jillian Swiderski. Lovely.

-When Ed was talking to Jillian’s dad, I sat there in amazement. Her dad told both guys for that matter, that he’d approve of them asking for his daughters hand in marriage. Look, even if Jillians dad spent all 24 hours of the day with Ed, even though he didn’t, lets just say he did for the sake of argument. I’m sorry, no father knows after 24 hours whether or not some guy is the one for his daughter. Not a chance in hell. I say this every season, which is why the show is a joke. You need a little more to go off of than a couple outdoor patio conversations. Mr. Harris, you might like Ed. Hell, you might love the guy and he blew you away. You might even like him better than Kiptyn. But don’t say after one day you give the guy your blessing to marry your daughter. Total BS. You know nothing about the guy other than the lines he’s feeding you. Totally ridiculous.

-At least Kiptyn showed up to meet the parents in something presentable. Like an awful light blue checkered shirt that looked like a tablecloth for an outside picnic they were gonna have. Nice duds. I thought I saw that shirt at Mervyn’s on the clearance rack for about $5.99. I’ve really never disliked Kiptyn. I mean, there really isn’t much to dislike about the guy. Seems nice, good looking guy, has an 18 pack abs, and does children’s charity work. I just thought he didn’t show much personality on the show. Didn’t really feel like I knew anything about him and he’s been on my TV every Monday night since May 18th. And apparently Jillian saw the same thing since she likes dudes who can’t get it up in the bedroom, fart at rose ceremonies, thought enough of her to take off in the middle of the show to go play around with his woman in Chicago, only to come back and say how much he couldn’t stop thinking of her. Good pick. Be sure to tell me where Mr. & Mrs. Ed Swiderski are registered so I can get you something for the wedding.

-Of course, what a episode wouldn’t be complete without Ed in Hawaii wearing his European swim trunks. I honestly think he’s just wearing those things as a joke to draw attention to himself. Seriously. No self respecting guy would be caught dead with those things on. Then again, this is Ed we’re dealing with. It is going to be a rollicking good time when the truth comes out about this guy. All in good time, my friends. All in good time. And any help from his lady friend in Chick-ag-o would be nice. I think we might even be able to categorize Ed in the same breath as a Jason Mesnick. Easily manipulated. I just can’t tell you how curious I find it that I reported at the beginning of the season two guys were offered money to come on the show but turned it down. Then we see a twist where five extra guys are added on the first night (two of them making the final three), and one of them being the final one, who left mid-season to attend to “business matters”. All very bizarre to me. Hey, I don’t put anything past this show.

-I love Reid going to the “You have no idea how many strings I had to pull to get back out here” card. Sure you did, Reid. Dude, you got eliminated in Hawaii. You honestly think that we believe you flew all the way back to Philly, had a change of heart, and had them fly you all the way back to Hawaii? How about you went back to your hotel room, stayed there an extra day, and once the storyline was concocted that you’d come back the day of the final rose ceremony to propose to Jillian, that’s when you decided to go along with everything. Sounds more like it. I understand a lot of you, once again, are falling into the trap of believing that what Reid did took a lot of guts, was so romantic, and you feel heart broken for him right now. Well, then you don’t know this show too well. A lot of you, in fact probably most of you, believed Reid was so in love with Jillian that he had to come back and do that in his outfit best suited for wearing to a WNBA game. I’m here to tell you otherwise. Reid came back and did that because Reid was told to come back to do that. He didn’t do that on his own. No guy would go back to a girl who just dumped him and propose marriage, I’m sorry. Sure, he can go back and tell her, “I think you made a mistake. I really want you to re-think this. I think we’re right for each other. Give me a second chance.” But really? A proposal? Dude, she just dumped you for Euro Richie and boring Kiptyn. Once again, there is a storyline, and certain guys follow these storylines because they feel they’re supposed to. I don’t believe for a second that anything Reid said last night was genuine, and I’m sure 99% of the hopeless romantics who were crying last night disagree with that take. And that’s perfectly fine. Just know what you saw last night wasn’t real.

-So where does that leave us for tonight? Well, Kiptyn and Reid come back to confront Jillian, and we get an interview with Melissa updating us on her wonderful life since the show ended. Then more puke inducing material with Ed and Jillian together telling us how much they are trying to convince themselves they’re in love with each other. Do I think there’s gonna be some sort of change of heart tonight, or maybe that they’re not engaged anymore? I don’t think so. As far as I know after watching last night’s show, these two are together. Right now. Can’t say they will be in a few months. I just can’t imagine if you’re Jillian, when you hear the stories that you’re going to hear about the guy, that you will immediately turn a deaf ear to everything. This stuff will end up grating on her and ultimately end their relationship in my opinion. Yeah, it’s that bad. But hey, until then, make the rounds on the talk show circuit and tell everyone how madly in love you are with Ed’s bowl haircut. This is a television show, first and foremost. They can call it “reality” television all they want, but that pretty much means “scripted.” This show has produced one marriage in 17 seasons. Why would I put any stock into these two walking down the aisle, especially with as many stories floating around there about this season that there’s already been. Jillian and Ed fans, I wouldn’t get your hopes up. Seriously. I don’t really think I’m being Nostradamus here when I say these two aren’t gonna last. Sorry to burst your love bubble.

-So I’ll be back tomorrow with a few thoughts on the ATFR show and to wrap up this whole season. Maybe I’ll have some new info on a possible interview coming up (no, not with Wes). Could be someone from this season, or it could be someone from seasons past. I definitely feel it’s gonna happen but don’t want to let it out of the bag just yet. Plus, check back tomorrow for a really funny video concerning next seasons “Bachelor”. I think you’ll like this one. I sure did. Made me realize how hopeless this show can be. Ha ha.

The merchandise store is down to its last legs in terms of our first shipment orders being sold out. Depending on sales, we could be done by this weekend, so get it while you can. I know we still have at least one of everything in stock, just not sure on the sizes for each one. So check that out while you can, still $3 off everything in the store. I’m like Crazy Eddie right now getting rid of this stuff. Also, you can join me on Facebook or Twitter by going down the right hand column to “My Stuff” and clicking there. As always any questions, comments, emails, praises, criticisms, or your thoughts on the finale, feel free to email me at steve@realitysteve.com. Be back tomorrow.

Administrator The Bachelorette 5 - Jillian

-Sorry I’m a couple days late, but in case you don’t follow me on Twitter or Facebook, you will know that Friday got a little hectic. Around noon I got an email from EXTRA TV asking if they could do a Skype interview with me that would air on Monday night before the finale. So of course I was interested in something like that, however, I didn’t have a webcam nor had I downloaded Skype yet. So I ran to the store, bought a camera, created a Skype account, and did the interview. They just asked me my predictions for what I think happens in the finale, and I told them pretty much exactly what I said in this column two weeks ago (which we’ll get to later). So that took up most of Friday and I apologize for the two day delay. The interview is set to air on tonight’s episode of “EXTRA”, so check your local listings for when it’s on. I’m working on getting a link to it once it airs and I’ll put it up on the site for people that miss it. No, Maddie did not make an appearance. She was sleeping in the other room. It’s just me sitting at my computer in front of the camera. Very bizarre being able to communicate with someone that way. Just think, fifteen years ago I got my first cell phone and was stoked that Verizon gave 20 free minutes a month! Now I can have a conversation on the computer with someone while looking at them for free. Crazy.

“Jon & Kate”

-This isn’t necessarily about them but one of the new women Jon is “involved” with. The first pictures we saw of him with a new chick was with the 22 year old daughter of the doctor who performed Kate’s tummy tuck, Hailey Glassman. Excellent choice Jon because we all know that 22 year old potheads fresh off of Spring Break are ready to be in a serious relationship with a 33 year old guy suffering a mid-life crisis who is recently divorced and has eight children. I see wedding bells in their future, no doubt. That is, of course, if he doesn’t stop spending weekends in the Hamptons with “Star” magazine reporters. Man, this guy is finally free after ten years in handcuffs and he can’t wait to start spreading his seed everywhere. Calm down, Jon. Just days after pictures surfaced of he and Hailey in a NY park holding hands, then another one surfaces of him leaving a NY restaurant with Kate Major, a reporter for “Star” magazine. Kate says they’re just friends and leaves it at that. Three days pass by, Kate and Jon are reportedly staying with Michael Lohan in the Hamptons, Hailey has no idea Jon is even seeing someone else, and Kate Major resigns her post at “Star” due to a “conflict of interest” because she’s “fallen for Jon.” Awesome. You couldn’t write this stuff.

-Anyway, the point I’m getting at here is once I saw the picture of Jon and Kate Major leaving the NY restaurant, something struck me. Her name sounded very familiar. Then when I read she was a reporter for “Star” magazine I realized this is the same woman I spoke to at “Star” when I broke the Jason/Molly/Melissa news last season, the same woman who I did the email interview with this season on the “Bachelorette” guys allegedly being paid to appear, and the same woman I’ve been in contact with since the beginning of this season through email. So naturally, when I first saw the picture at the restaurant, I sent her a quick email basically saying, “Hey, I’m sure you’re getting bombarded but sorry that happened to you. All you did was have dinner with the guy and now you’re being pinned as his new girlfriend.” Then three days later she quits her job saying she’s “fallen for him.” So what did I do yesterday? Well seeing is she doesn’t work for “Star” magazine anymore and she probably didn’t get my email, I texted her. We’ve traded texts a few times over the last month or so. So I asked Kate Major if there is any way she’ll come on and do an interview with me explaining everything that’s gone down. Haven’t heard back, and honestly, I’d be shocked if I did. But hey, I tried. I need to ask her what she really sees in a recently divorced 33 year old who wears Ed Hardy shirts, is constantly on his blue tooth, and how serious she is about getting serious with a guy with eight kids and a mega bitch of an ex-wife. Kate, the floor is yours. I anxiously awaiting a return response.

“More To Love”

-This is the “Bachelor/ette” spin off show by genius Mike Fleiss that begins airing tomorrow night after the “ATFR” show. Same exact premise as the “Bachelor”, pretty much the same format as well, but everyone on the show is overweight. The “Bachelor” guy I believe is 330 lbs and I believe the skinniest girl on the show is 180lbs. A lot of you have asked me if I’m going to be covering this show. I mean, I’ll watch it, but if you’re expecting a “Bachelor” type column every week about it, that’s not gonna happen. I don’t really know how to say this other than the show itself is already a joke, so nothing that I add will make it any funnier. I’m going to take the advice of Chris Rock, whose most recent comedy special aired again on HBO last night and that I watched for the 3rd time. What he said pretty much fits well into my feelings about this show. Essentially he says if you’re overweight, you can curse out the skinny bitches all day long, and no one bats an eye. Fat people are constantly whining about, “She’s too skinny. Look at her. Ya’ anoxeric, peanut eating, bulimic son of a bitch.” But if you’re skinny and a size 2, you can’t talk about fat people and make fun of them. Why? “That’s just mean.” And its true. Overweight people are constantly jealous and bitching about skinny women and no one tells them to shut up. But if you’re a smoking hot model, what good does it do to call some overweight person a “fat pig”. Makes you look like a conceited ass. Bottom line: There’s no need to cover this show. I’d much rather make fun of wannabe models and reality stars than overweight people. That’s just me. I’ll stick to the “Bachelor” and “Bachelorette” franchise, thank you.

“America’s Got Talent”

-I like this show. I do. It’s totally corny, cheesy, and completely over-the-top, but it is what it is. That’s what you get when you host a talent show. A bunch of goofy ass people doing stupid sh** to get on TV. No surprise there. And it seems like the audition episodes have been going for about three months now. I don’t even remember half the acts that made it through to Vegas. No idea. I just always find it amazing that when they get to the top 10 or 20, usually over half the people left are singers. So isn’t this basically “American Idol Lite?” The little red headed girl, Bianca Ryan, won season 1. She’s a singer. Terry Fator won season two as the singing comedian ventriloquist. And last season, the big guy Neil was an opera singer. Look, if the winning prize is a million dollars and headlining a Vegas show, then it stands to reason the winner is probably going to have to be either a singer or a comedian. I guess a dance troupe could headline a Vegas show, but nothing that I’ve seen this year is that good. You pretty much know when you watch these acts what even has a remote chance of winning and what doesn’t. And you also know that the very first act they show in the auditions will always be an absolute bomb that gets booed off stage and the last act they, the “final act of the day”, is always some inspirational singer that has a background story which will make you cry. Pretty much a given with this show.

“The Bachelorette” Finale

-As I stated two weeks ago in my “Bachelorette Recap 7/13/09″, I gave everyone my opinion of what I THINK happens tonight. Yes, I knew the ending last season. This season I don’t. Trust me, if I knew what was going to happen, I’d tell you. Didn’t stop me last season, so I don’t see why it would’ve this season. However, I have a pretty good idea by all the information I’ve gathered over the last month and I stated that two weeks ago. Nothing has really changed over the last couple weeks in regards to what I think happens. I’m just starting to feel a little more strongly about a couple of things. Chris Harrison tweeted yesterday that the last hour of the show is one of the best hours they’ve ever done. Yes, I know, Chris is the king of hyperbole, but seriously, he wouldn’t put that out there if something dramatic didn’t happen. As for Jillian, we know in all interviews she certainly isn’t acting like someone who’s in love, engaged, or if she even is seeing anyone. Could that be because ABC told her not to give anything away or is that just how she feels? Guess we’ll find out. I’m leaning towards the latter. Jillian in interviews has also eluded to the fact that something pretty wild goes down in the last 5 minutes of the show. Also, we’ve been told one of the guys has a “confession” to make. So with all that being said, here’s what I know for a fact:

-The final 1 is not Kiptyn: Since the last five minutes of the show are crazy, I can logically assume Kiptyn will be the first one out of the limo and to the altar so she can dump him.

Also, I have it on pretty good authority that this will not be a regular ending where one guy proposes, she says yes, and everyone is happy. Something is going to go down either before, during, or after the FRC which is why it’s unlike anything we’ve seen. So with that said, what you’ll see in the “EXTRA” piece airing tonight is me giving my predictions for what I think happens. I said it two weeks ago, and I’ll say it again: I don’t think we are going to get any definitive resolution at the end of this episode tonight. There will be some sort of cliffhanger involving Ed and the reappearance of Reid. Maybe Ed doesn’t propose and they’re just dating. Maybe Ed proposes, then Reid proposes, and she tells them she needs time to make her decision. Maybe Ed proposes and she says no. Maybe she already is engaged. I just think that if they’re gonna schedule an “ATFR” tomorrow night, then there’s gotta be a reason for the audience to tune in. They’ve had enough of the “happy couple” ATFR’s that they gotta know, at this point, that’s not good enough anymore. So even though I’m not giving a definitive answer here, I’ll just say that tonight we will not see any sort of conclusion to Jillian’s journey, they will leave us with a cliffhanger, and we will learn more come Tuesday. The reappearance of Reid, and Ed being a douchenozzle will end up playing a role into Jillian’s ultimate decision, which I think we’ll get on Tuesday night. I have a feeling tonight we’re gonna get left in the dark on what, if any, decision Jillian made regarding Ed and Reid. If you go to ABC’s site, in the ad for the Bachelorette it even says, “Trust us, you won’t believe what happens.” So can we really expect this thing to end with a normal engagement? I just don’t see it. She is either with Ed, or she is with no one. That’s my opinion, and I’m sticking to it. And if she is with Ed, I’ll say they last about 3 months. Tops. Enjoy the show tonight.

-One last thing about Ed since a lot of you have been asking. I mentioned a couple weeks ago about rumors of a girlfriend back home, and I left it at that: a rumor. Sure I’ve made jokes about it since where there’s smoke, there’s fire. But never once have I stated for a fact that I’ve confirmed Ed had a girlfriend while on the show. And I still won’t. Only because this girl in question has refused to speak to me as of now. She’s told people through three different channels that she is going to lay low for a bit. However, I’m beginning to think there’s some legitimacy to all this. If Ed gets painted in a good light tonight, I’d say watch out. I have a feeling that isn’t gonna sit well and this story is going to have legs. She knows I’m looking for her and she has free reign to talk to me whenever she wants, but if not, don’t think she might not run her mouth somewhere else. I hate to break it to all you “Jed” fans (god I hate those ridiculous celebrity couple names), but your boy is not a saint. Far from it. Too many people have come forward admitting he’s a snake and not nearly enough people are defending him. Brought on the show late as one of the five extra guys, leaves mid-show to attend to “business” matters, comes back professing his love and now he wants to be married? Please. Not buying it. We’ll see what happens tonight, but I’ve got a feeling this isn’t over. Especially since there are emails and texts from Ed to his ex proving otherwise that are out there and that people have seen. If I were her, I’d come forward with all this, but hey, that’s just me. Kinda ironic how they painted Wes all season as the guy with the girlfriend back home, yet, it could end up being the guy who ends up the final one who had a girlfriend all along. Stay tuned.

Any questions, comments, emails, praises, criticisms, your thoughts on the finale, feel free to email me at steve@realitysteve.com.

Administrator Reality Roundup, The Bachelorette 5 - Jillian

Whether or not you like the guy, ABC has made it perfectly clear who the most talked about person this season is about, and its certainly not Jillian. I figured since Wes didn’t get a chance to defend himself on Monday’s “MTA” episode, he could do it right here. If you’d like to hear what he has to say, I suggest you listen to the interview. If you’re sick of him, then don’t listen. I think it’s a pretty telling interview that really covers a lot of what you people have been wanting to know. When Monday’s episode dedicates four different segments of their show to a guy who’s not there, then it’s obvious they had an agenda. Wes wanted to be there, he just wasn’t allowed to. This 35 minute interview is a look at a few things which weren’t discussed the first time around, plus some new information regarding a letter Wes wrote to Jillian that was never shown on TV and some damaging evidence to what Tanner P. has been saying all show. Other topics:

-What has been the reaction from club promoters and bar owners who have scheduled Wes’ band to perform?
-Which guys from the show does Wes keep in touch with?
-What is his reaction to Chris Harrison’s blog from Monday saying Wes only wanted to come on the show after “making sure all the other guys would back him up”?
-If Tanner P. and Wes are boys, why does Tanner keep throwing him under the bus – on the show and at the MTA taping?
-If Jake and Tanner both claim Wes told them about a girlfriend back home, why hasn’t ABC produced one shred of video or audio evidence to these conversations if cameras are rolling all day long and there are microphones everywhere?
-What did the letter he wrote to Jillian in Spain say? Why’d he write it?
-Plus, email questions from you the readers

I felt it was pretty bush league of ABC to not allow the guy on the show Monday only to then turn around and mock the guy for two hours. This is his forum to speak on that issue, plus tell everyone that despite the negativity, he will get through this. I know there are some of you that just want this all to go away, and that’s fine. I feel as an avid critic of this show to make sure all sides are told. Anyone else that wants to speak to me, I’d be more than glad to put them on. But considering outside of Jason Mesnick, this is the most talked about bachelor in recent memory, I felt it was appropriate for him to be able to defend himself. If that makes me a kiss ass, then so be it. Direct your shots at me. I’m a big boy. I can handle it. Hope you enjoy the interview. Click on the link below to listen:

Wes Hayden Interview #2 (35 min)

“Reality Roundup” returns tomorrow with a look at the Jon & Kate situation, “Americas Got Talent”, Paula Adbul’s contract negotiations, my final thoughts on what to expect in the “Bachelorette” finale, plus more. As always, any questions, comments, emails, praises, criticisms, email me at steve@realitysteve.com. See you tomorrow.

Administrator Interviews, The Bachelorette 5 - Jillian

-Lets immediately get started. A lot to get to. For those that follow me on Twitter or are a Facebook friend (if you haven’t joined either, just scroll down the right hand column and under “My Stuff”, just click away), you were aware that I attended Wes’ concert this past Saturday night in Ft Worth. Am I a country music fan? Not really. I didn’t grow up around it so I can’t say that I’m a fan, but it doesn’t make my ears bleed to listen to. Do I have a few country songs downloaded to my ipod? Sure. Are there Garth Brooks posters on my wall? No. Carrie Underwood? Hmmmm, now that’s a different story. Anyway, what I’m getting at is I wasn’t necessarily a country music fan before I went, and it’s not like I’m a converted one now after I attended the show. Just thought it would be a good opportunity to get out, see Wes’ play, meet the guy in person, and have a good time on Saturday night. And that we did.

-Lets put one rumor to rest since I got a couple emails on this: No, I did not do any pole dancing. Hell, I would admit that if I did. Yes, there was a pole off to the side of the stage that I remember some guy using as her personal phallic symbol, but no, that wasn’t me. I was too busy downing shots of Jack that Wes forced me to drink. The night started getting a little hazy after about 1 or 2 o’clock. It was really a good time all around. The crowd was really into it, Wes did his thing, and even gave Reality Steve a shout out before one of his songs. Very appreciative of that. And those that were in attendance got an idea of how Wes’ feels about ABC and what the show did to him. He let them know on more than one occasion. I got to really spend some quality time with the guy Sat. night and into Sunday afternoon since, well, someone wasn’t in any position to drive back to Dallas, so I ended up crashing at the hotel where they were staying. It’s been a while since I had one of those nights, but nonetheless, it was fun. And just think, we’ll be back at it again on July 30th at the Glass Cactus in Grapevine when he’s in town performing with Joe Nichols. Good thing that place is only 20 minutes from me. I might actually be able to drive home after the show. Or not. Maybe I’ll just chill at the Gaylord hotel.

-As for what was said, Wes couldn’t have re-iterated enough that he didn’t have a girlfriend on the show, didn’t have one before he went on, and didn’t have one after. There were also band members, a manager, close friends, and a sister who backed him up on all of this. If people want to continue to think he did, I don’t know what to say. As for the “Men Tell All” no show last night, yes, Wes initially said he didn’t want to do it. Then a day before filming, he did say he wanted to defend himself and ABC basically said, “Stay home. We don’t think it’s a good idea.” But if you listen to Chris Harrison’s explanation in his blog today as to why Wes changed his mind, that couldn’t be further from the truth. Ridiculous claim that Chris makes, really. “In the end, he didn’t amount to much on this show”. What? Chris, he’s been the talk of the season, he made the final four, and you basically dedicated the last half hour of the show to busting his balls by calling him out and making a video tribute to him. But he didn’t amount to much on the show? Oh, ok. That is such a ridiculous statement and contradicts everything this show has presented Wes as. Chris is a company man and he’s doing what he’s told, however, to not have Wes on to defend himself doesn’t do anything but lend credibility to what he’s been saying in the interview with me and what he’s said in other interviews. A very good piece written by Andy Dehnart over at RealityBlurred.com that I couldn’t agree with more. To read the whole column, click here. Here’s an excerpt:

“Either way, ABC should have bent over backwards to let him show up and say his piece. If he declined the invitation, show proof, because otherwise any discussion of him seems like they’re beating up on someone who can’t defend himself.

If he was allowed to attend and repeated his accusations, let the other men, or Chris Harrison, challenge him and say he’s full of shit. Better, show the full, unedited video of his limo exit interview to prove that it wasn’t edited out of context. But keeping him away just makes him seem like the producers and network have something to hide.”

I’d say that’s pretty self-explanatory. ABC comes off looking much worse by not having Wes appear on the show. Period. And the only reason given by Chris Harrison last night was, “Wes is obviously more concerned about his career than finding love”. Puke. How about giving the real reason he wasn’t there which was ABC was scared sh**less of him reaching out to just more than my audience and a few radio station audiences telling what really happened. If they had nothing to hide, and they felt that all this stuff Wes was saying is BS, then put him on the firing line and call him out on it. Of course, they couldn’t do that because it would’ve gone against the whole character they created of him for eight episodes. Embarrassing, really. There is more to this story about what really went on in regards to the “MTA” taping, and I think we’re gonna get Wes on again this week to defend himself since he wasn’t allowed to at the taping after being told to stay home. No, it will not be another hour and a half conversation, but I do think its important people hear what was said. I’ll try and keep it to 20-30 minutes tops, so stay tuned for that. Now, on to last night.

-One contention a lot of you seem to be making in regards to Wes and the “They say love, it don’t come eeeeeeasssy” song (which is a catchy ass song that’s been stuck in my head since Saturday), is that you seem to be under the impression that, “Well, if he wrote the song just for Jillian when he was on the show, how did his band know how to play it at the hometown date.” In case you forgot, and they showed it again last night, when Wes played that song (titled “It Don’t Take That Long”) in the hometown date, it was just him up on stage with his guitar. The band didn’t play along with him. The band was there for a completely different song. So just wanted to point that out since a lot of you are using that as some sort of basis as to why you think he didn’t write the song on the show. He did. We will address this in the interview.

-I will try to just cover everything else from the show as opposed to the Wes stuff since I think he’ll do a good job of covering that himself. The plan is to have the interview up on Thursday. One thing to note about the show was that in the previews last week, they teased that we were going to see clips from the “Bachelor/ette” reunion in Vegas from a couple months ago. Well, I guess over the course of a week they decided they had SOOOO much good material from the guys, that they decided to cut that stuff out, along with a piece that DeAnna filmed, and one that Graham filmed promoting his charity, 46NYC. If you’re interested, check it out at www.46NYC.com. It’s for a good cause. I didn’t think that the guys bitching back and forth at each other last night was all that entertaining, but hey, not my call. I most certainly would’ve cut that part of it to show the Vegas reunion stuff. And really, Reid couldn’t be there due to a “prior engagement”? They really expected people to believe that? For Christ sakes, he’s the 3rd place finisher in one of the more emotional send offs they’ve had and we’re supposed to believe that he’s calling the shots on his schedule and where he can be? Please. And of course, once the final clip aired of next weeks finale and we see a shot of Reid standing looking out a window with a ring in his hand, it was all pretty obvious why he wasn’t there. Told you last week he played a major role in the finale which is the reason he wouldn’t be at the “MTA” taping and it was proven right. Then again, that wasn’t that big of a secret.

-How horrible was the crowd last night? Could they have packed the place with any more Wes haters if they tried? Geesh. Don’t make it obvious or anything. Or they were just being told to boo and hiss every time his name was brought up. Not to mention the absolute shill job being done by Chris Harrison all night. I don’t know what’s worse, him actually calling out a guy who’s not there to defend himself, or actually believing all the editing about him was true. Usually Chris is Casper Milktoast when it comes to the “MTA” shows, but last night, someone lit a fire under his ass and told him to grow a set. Safe to say that he was a flat out prick last night. Very ornery and very condescending. “Well as for Wes, we can probably figure out why he wasn’t here.” We can? Please enlighten us Chris because you’ve given no explanation whatsoever. Actually save your breath since any explanation you gave wouldn’t have been the real one anyway. Were your jeans on too tight? Someone piss in your Corn Flakes that morning? My God, quit cursing like a sailor. It was like you were ready to fight someone last night. I was worried for little Chrissie last night. It was like someone took his wittle wed wagon and broke it into pieces. Not a very happy camper last night.

-I think I’ve had enough “Man Code” talk to last me a lifetime? Did we really need a half hour on that stuff? We get it. You guys don’t like Juan because he doesn’t drink like he’s heading into rehab and fart like it’s a frat house, or curse like he’s shooting a porn. What was with all the cursing and farting jokes last night? My God, have they ever done this before? Who cast all these hooligans up on stage? I was beginning to think the 13 men on stage combined IQ didn’t reach triple digits. I honestly thought that Dave, Tanner, and Jake made themselves look worse last night than they did on the show. Dave just doesn’t get it. Plain and simple. Every time he questioned his behavior or thought maybe he did something wrong, he followed it up with a “But…” So that right there pretty much showed his insincerity. He might’ve apologized to Jillian, but I will agree with Chris on this one, you know deep down he doesn’t feel the things he said and the way he acted was wrong. Down another scotch, buddy. And if you saw this interview online with him yesterday, he said that last seasons “Bachelor” came down to him and Jason Mesnick and they chose Jason. Huh? That’s news to everyone except Dave apparently. If he’s delusional enough to think that then so be it. Not a chance in the world he was a final two choice to be the “Bachelor”. No f-in way.

-As for Jake, anyone who honestly thinks that guy could carry a “Bachelor” show for two months is kidding themselves. Really? You’d want to watch THAT guy for eight straight weeks on your television? Blech. I find nothing about that guy remotely interesting. Hey, for selfish purposes and comedic value, I’d have a field day with him if he were the “Bachelor”, but even I’m rooting against it. I have a feeling I’d make the guy cry on a weekly basis if he read the stuff that I would write about him. I just think the “holier-than-thou” approach last night was ridiculous. And him telling whoever to “f-off” seemed so staged and so forced it didn’t even fit in. The guy doesn’t even know how to get mad correctly. That f-bomb lacked any sincerity whatsoever which made it seem so rehearsed like before the show they all gathered around and said, “Ok, you get real mad at me and bring me to my boiling point. Once you do, I’ll drop an f-bomb and it’ll shock everybody.” Please. Had the opposite effect on me. Thought it was lame and forced. Lets not forget that Jake used to be an actor back in the day, so to sit here and say he’s got nothing but good intentions and didn’t use this show to further his career, especially after what Wes told us in the interview, would just be ignorant. Not saying he did, but to immediately dismiss it? I wouldn’t. And I’ll leave what I want to say about Tanner to Wes. Lets just leave it at that.

-The Jason and Molly segment was predictable. “If we can weather this storm, we can make it through anything. It’s been tough on us. People have take their shots, but we’re better for it in the end.” Yes, thank you, thank you, thank you. I just wish you two lovebirds could’ve given me a shout out by name since, well, it’s obvious you were referring to me. I’m like the guy that gets Jason all hot under the collar don’t you remember? That’s the least you could’ve done after all I’ve done for you. As for them getting married? I say it every time a couple comes out of this show, and I’ll say it again: I’ll believe it when I see it. Talk all you want about your happiness, talk about Molly moving to Seattle, talk about how in love you guys are right on cue into the camera, blah blah blah. When you finally walk down the aisle and get married, then you may turn around at the altar and give Reality Steve a big “F You”. I won’t hold my breath though. I like the 1-for-17 (about to be 1-for-18 because, lets face it, Jillian isn’t marrying any of these guys) odds I have working in my favor. Who wouldn’t?

-As for the final thoughts on next weeks finale, I still stand by what I said last week. I think Jillian is either with Ed or with no one. We know now officially that Reid comes back, and considering he’s holding a ring, I’m guessing he proposes. I just don’t think she ends up with. In fact, I’m pretty sure of it. Same with Kiptyn. I don’t know what’s happening with Ed. And after reading her blog on People.com today she’s either a good bluffer and throwing everyone off, or she’s not with anybody. Once again, she still never says she’s in love, nor does she allude to the fact there is even a man in her life. Everything is about “her decision.” Oh, and I appreciate the back handed reference to me and her “engagement standards”. You’re welcome, Jillian. That’s what I’m here for. To criticize. I guess we’ll find out next week. Regardless, she’s not marrying any of these guys anyway, so does it all really matter? Didn’t think so.

-Pretty much the rest of the show was all the guys having fun at Wes’ expense, which is what I predicted would happen last week. No surprise there. Since Wes was not allowed to defend himself, I figured that he do it right here on RealitySteve.com. And in fact, I’ll open it up to questions from you as well. We’ll let him explain side of things in regards to the “Men Tell All” but if there’s anything I forgot in the first interview that you want asked, send me an email at steve@realitysteve.com, and if I’m able to ask it, I will. Obviously, there are certain things that cannot be discussed due to contracts, but I think Wes has been pretty open at this point and he will do his best. So please send all your questions and comments to my email address, and I will see how many of your questions we can get in. Wes has been nothing but stand up with me regarding the whole situation, and I fully expect him to continue with it. All questions, comments, emails, praises, criticisms, all go to that address as well. And finally, we are almost sold out of RealitySteve.com merchandise gear, so get it while you can. I think we might have about a week left of stuff to give out, depending on the size ordered. Stay tuned this week for more from Wes.

Administrator The Bachelorette 5 - Jillian

-Lets get to a few things before starting last night’s recap. In case you’ve been under a rock since last Tuesday, you’ll see that I conducted an interview with Wes Hayden last Wednesday night. Good stuff, and regardless of how you feel about the guy, you should probably listen to it. No need to go over all your comments and reaction at this point. But just one thing I wanted to point out. Out of an hour and twenty five minutes of talking, a lot of you seem to be stuck on the fact that he said he didn’t watch the show anymore but knew about all his edits. Let me explain: I’ve seen four episodes of “Jon and Kate Plus Eight”, yet if someone asked if I watch the show, I’d say “no”. Wes obviously has watched bits and pieces of this season, but he doesn’t strap himself down every Monday night and go through each 120 minute episode with a magnifying glass. If you heard the interview, it was obvious he was in and out of last weeks episode, especially what they showed on the dinner date. But he was aware of what he said in the limo afterwards. Yes, he’s seen the episodes. All of them from beginning to end pausing and rewinding his parts? No. Lets move on.

-Here is the schedule for the remainder of the season for those that don’t know. Next Monday is the “Men Tell All” that was filmed this past Saturday in L.A. On Monday night the 27th is the 2 hour season finale. The next night, Tuesday the 28th, will be the “After the Final Rose” show. No, Wes did not attend the “MTA” taping. Neither did Reid, Ed, or Kiptyn (more on that in a bit). Wes didn’t want to go and ABC didn’t want him there for the reasons we went over in the interview. They knew they wouldn’t be able to “control” his answers and didn’t want the truth getting out, so they told him to stay home. He’s essentially a loose cannon at this point and he could only hurt them instead of help. As far as the final three, this is the first time in shows history that the guy who was eliminated at #3 (Reid) didn’t attend the “MTA” taping. The “MTA” taping is always the weekend right before the episode airs where that person goes home. Jeremy did the “MTA” taping last year, then was eliminated two nights later when the episode aired. This is a first in Bachelor history. So why wasn’t Reid at the “MTA” taping?

-The major thing to discuss with the “MTA” taping, I think, is the fact that now they have a 2 hour episode next week WITHOUT arguably the most hated bachelor in recent memory, Wes, and the guy that got let go at #3, Reid. I can guarantee you they will replay all of Wes’ quotes, and everyone will attack him. That’s pretty much a given. They’re pissed at Wes for talking to me and other stations, and that’ll be the lasting impression that the show gives him. Bottom line. Is a show with Dave, Juan, Jake, Tanner, and Sasha really going to be that entertaining? I highly doubt it. Hence the reason Jason and Molly were brought back to talk about their undying love for each other. We’ll get bloopers, a report from the “Bachelor/ette” reunion in Vegas a couple months ago, and Jillian talking about her experience. DeAnna even mentioned a couple weeks ago that she filmed a piece that is supposed to air next week as well. Was I at the “MTA” taping? No, I wasn’t. But it doesn’t mean I’m not aware of things. Lets just say that there is something I’m still working out the details on about the “MTA” tapings that I’ll have later this week. Just want to make sure I have everything in order before I possibly run with this. I’d say it’s fairly big.

-And finally, nice to see Jason and Molly are now helping out other single people. Just what we need, those two giving dating advice. Check out this link:

Jason & Molly Join the “Matchmaking Flight”

Wow. I mean, ummmm, wow. Gee, those who book in the next 24 hours only have to pay $580? What a deal! I wonder what the price goes up to after that? So a 12 hour flight is going to have an “open bar and speed dating”? I can only imagine that a plane with 300 passengers openly serving alcohol all flight with the intention of these people hooking up at some point is going to smell wonderful by the time it lands. Booze, used condoms, and sex. Why not just allow them all to smoke if they want as well? Are they really going to fill up this plane with enough people to do this? That’d be pretty funny if there’s like 12 people on the plane and they have to listen to Jason and Molly’s boring stories about how they didn’t fall in love at first, but then Jason “changed his mind” while engaged to someone else after he was texting and calling Molly behind his fiancés back. Ahhhh, true love. That’s how it starts for all of us. Good thing that flight isn’t headed to Australia on Oceanic Flight 815. That would be creepy. Now, on to last nights show.

-Before Kiptyn arrives, we see the (ahem) lovely Jillian strolling the beaches in Maui in her yellow and white bikini, frolicking in the water, and writing stupid messages in the sand that’ll be washed away by a wave the second she leaves. “J & ?” Really? Are you in 4th grade? How corny was that? Actually, maybe she was still thinking of last season and that could’ve stood for “Who the hell did Jason really want to be with?” Whatever the case, the whole scene was lame and contrived. And the yellow and white bikini didn’t do much for me. In fact, nothing she wears does anything for me. But that shouldn’t be news to anyone who’s followed this column all season. If I don’t like her, I don’t like her. I can find something about each of the previous bachelorettes that I found appealing, yet honestly, I can’t think of one for Jillian. Can’t stand her voice, doesn’t have any figure, she drinks like a fish, she lives in Canada, and well, she’s a horrible kisser. Other than that, she’s perfect. An absolute 10. The woman I’d want to marry. As for the others:

Trista: My favorite woman in the whole world. I love her to death. Minus the baby talk.
Meredith: Wait, Meredith was the “Bachelorette”? Yikes. Uhhhh, she was tall?
Jen: Well, she was my favorite during Firestone’s season. Her season? Not so much. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
DeAnna: C’mon now. DeAnna’s like, my best friend, right? It’s like we’re soulmates. Never have a bad thing to say about her. Ha ha. I kill myself sometimes.

-Kippy shows up in Maui and does the trendy thing to do now on these 1-on-1 dates and that’s run to the girl and pick her up. When did this become the thing to do? I can’t remember the last time I picked up a girl and spun her around when hugging her. Then again, I haven’t appeared in any chick flicks recently either. I love the ropes course that these two did. Like this was some big accomplishment. What were they, 30 feet off the ground? Anybody catch the “Duel 2″ this season? I’d say those challenges put anything Jillian and Kiptyn were doing to shame. Walking some steps 30 feet above the ground? Pssssht. Try hanging upside down holding on to your partners arms over a cliff. Or standing on a plank suspended above water and having to spell tough words like “throne”. Nice one, Brad. Although, couldn’t Brad have asked, “Is it ‘thrown’ or ‘throne’?” I was shocked this was never addressed. Regardless, he’s an idiot for spelling either one “t-h-r-o-n”. Congrats on picking a real winner there, Tori.

-Oooooohhhh, now it’s time to move over to the big one, the Leap of Faith. I’m biting my nails. Don’t know if I can take the pressure that comes along with this one. You’re strapped in to a harness, there’s ZERO chance for serious injury, yet Jillian is acting like she’s about to go skydiving. Don’t fall Jillian. You might scrape your knee jumping from a whopping 3 feet off the ground. Be careful. So the Leap of Faith consisted of climbing up a pole, then jumping off and grabbing the trapeze positioned away from them. From there, they’d end up joining the circus and go by the name of the “Uninteresting Duo”. Anybody watch these two and just think to yourself, “What a ridiculously boring couple.” I certainly do. There’s nothing about these two together that gets my relationship pants all excited. At least with Reid he’s kinda quirky, and Ed is just all over the map. Kiptyn bores the piss out of me, sorry. Being the athletic guy he is, Kiptyn easily grabs the trapeze while Jillian I believe jumped maybe 6 centimeters off the pole before falling. Nice effort, J. Yet another quality you don’t have: athleticism.

-Over dinner, these two are discussing their possible lives together and Jillian asks him if he has any flaws whatsoever. Kip: “Impatience. I have low patience. I could probably deal better with bumps in the road. I’ve usually got one foot in and one out in relationships. Probably hasn’t been too fair.” Yeah, I’d say so. And since Jillian is about to bash your skull with a pineapple if you don’t tell her exactly how you feel about her, or if you’ll be on bended knee anytime soon, this isn’t a good sign. Didn’t Jillian say a few episodes ago that she just kinda “goes with the flow and doesn’t need to be told all the time about how much he likes me”? Yet, that’s all she does is grill these guys into submission as to whether or not they’re into her, how much they’re into her, etc. Maybe she’s just fishing for compliments, or maybe she is INCREDIBLY insecure. I’ll go with the latter. Lets face it, I’m guessing a girl like Jillian has never had this many guys showing interest in her at one time. Or pretending to at least. She admits she’s not a runway model and doesn’t have DD’s, or is a busty blonde, so I’m guessing that’s where her insecurity lies. Well, that and the fact that ABC is kicking themselves that Melissa turned them down this season.

-Kip: “I know you’re someone I can a life with.” After he says this, the date card shows up, and of course Jillian doesn’t forgo a 2nd chance to spend the night with Kip. I mean, he’s out of her league, right? So she needs to do everything in her power to lasso him in and make sure he doesn’t date women ten times better looking than she is. Good luck with that. For the sake of the show, lets just hope these two don’t end up together. After what happened last season, this show doesn’t need to transition into “America’s Most Boring Couple”. She can’t possibly end up with this guy, can she? And we’d have to hear updates about their life in future “Women Tell All” or “Where Are They Now” shows? God help us all. Then we’d have to see them continuously not know how to kiss each other in front of all of America. We will all lead better lives if these two don’t end up together. Lets put our hands together and now pray for that to happen. Amen.

-Reid is up next and Jillian is anxiously awaiting his arrival. I guess since Reid didn’t run to meet her, that didn’t score him any points. I’m sure Jillian’s warped thought process was, “Well, he didn’t run to me. Does he like me? Does he want to marry me? What if I choose him and he says no? Does he even know my name? Can I badger him more on how much he likes me?” Or something like that. Anyway, when Jillian greets him while holding the all-important beach ball. Because nothing says “fun in the sun” like a beach ball. That was seriously the stupidest thing I think I’ve seen all season. After they embrace, just to the two of them standing 10 feet apart throwing and kicking a beach ball to each other. Huh? Who came up with that idea? “I know, lets throw a beach ball to each other like we’re 3 years old. That’ll definitely bring us closer together.” If what happened at the end of the date with Ed wasn’t ridiculous, this took the cake for the episode. And still might’ve been the dumbest thing I’ve seen.

-Next, these two take a helicopter ride over Maui and find out that an ordained minister is actually the one flying it. Wow! What a coincidence! Of course, Reid wants none of it since he’s scared of commitment. For now, anyway. They land and have a picnic at the Hanna Maui Resort. Reid loves this place, “If I were to pick a place to live, it’d be right here.” Not saying much considering the guy lives in Philly. Now there’s a city I have been to so I guess now I’m allowed to call it one giant dump. Hmmmm, Philly or Maui? Tough one. Do I go with the polluted, crime infested, hell hole, or live on the beach in 85 degree weather all year? Anyway, Jillian jumps in immediately and asks him, “Hey, you gonna marry me?” I think. Reid responds with immediate hesitation of, “This is a first for me, I feel rushed, it’s hard for me, and I’m slower at this kind of stuff.” Translation: For Christ sakes, back off woman! Can a brotha’ get some air here? If we’re meant to be together, it’ll happen. I just kinda need more than six weeks before throwing a ring on someone. Geez.

-Shockingly, Jillian admits, “I need him to tell me how he’s feeling.” Really? Never could’ve guessed that. And this whole time, I thought you’ve been totally secure with each guy’s feelings and where you stand with all of them. She also informs Reid that as much as she’s love to stay in Canada, she’d move to Philly. Look, I know that I’ve been hard on Canada this season, but hey, not even I would take Philly over Vancouver. No thanks. I’ll buy my milk in bags and learn the metric system before dealing with Philadelphians any day of the week and twice on Sunday. They are quite the angry bunch, aren’t they? But Jillian isn’t done pressuring Reid. “I need you to think about everything if you’re ready to propose.” Reid: “Would I propose at the end of this? Maybe? Possibly. I’m indecisive. In life.” Yeah, probably not the answer Ms. Let-me-know-now-or-else-you’re-dead-to-me wants to hear. Reid, run for your life. Her insecurity will drive you up a wall. It’s doing it to me, that’s for sure.

-Man, it just doesn’t end with her. Jillian: “I’m not getting the answers I need, but I can see he’s trying.” Oh, well then “A” for effort for Reid. I’m sure he took consolation in that as he was sent away in his limo. He’s definitely trying, but with you nagging the hell out of him pushing for immediate answers, I’m guessing he’s a little put off by it. Reid: “So hard to just throw the ‘L’ word around. It could be at some point in the future.” See, here’s where Jillian is being completely unrealistic. She’s actually falling into the trap of believing the hype of this show. It’s like she’s so hell bent on getting proposed to that she’s missing the complete picture. I understand that she doesn’t want to make a mistake and pick a guy who might not be ready, but honestly, who really is ready after such a short time frame? Why can’t Reid’s answer of basically, “Look, I like you. I like where this is headed, and it could possibly turn into love down the road” be good enough? One guy has proposed after six weeks and the marriage ended up working, and that’s Ryan. None of these guys come across as ready to be married. And neither does Jillian. She seems to want to be married for the sake of being married, regardless of who it’s with.

-So after a day of badgering the witness, Jillian and Reid decide to relax back in the hotel suite by stripping off all their clothes (or at least the ones we saw lying on the floor), and take a bubble bath together. Was that necessary? A bubble bath? So uncomfortable watching those two seemingly naked in a tub together. I mean, they weren’t really naked, were they? Scary thought. If they were, and Reid were any sort of man whatsoever, the minute the cameras stopped rolling, or went out of the room, he would’ve said, “Screw this, we’re getting in the shower. Enough of this bubble nonsense.” However, something tells me they just talked the night away sipping on champagne in a bubble bath. Couldn’t they at least have sat side-by-side? Or maybe her in his lap with his back to her? That’s how it’s supposed to be done. Not playing footsies underwater you jackal. All in all, one of the more uncomfortable things to watch the whole night. Well, besides Jillian interrogating all three remaining men. I have expected her to have them sign paperwork confessing their love for her.

-Now it’s time for the date everyone wants to talk about, and that’s Ed. No, not because of what they did (sailed around on a catamaran), but because of what he was wearing. I honestly don’t know who decided to dress him that morning, but it certainly wasn’t anyone who cared for his well being. Holy Christ! Was he in a rush leaving for the date and accidentally grabbed a pair of his nephews shorts he mistakenly packed? Did he think they were in France and not Hawaii? How does someone rationally explain wearing those god awful shorts on national television? Bright green shorts to go with a blue tank top. European Ed not only has no fashion sense, but he’s colorblind as well. When you wear a bathing suit made for 13 year old boys on television, something is wrong with you. Ed needs help. On the catamaran, Jillian asks him to tell her the weirdest thing about him she doesn’t know. “My family calls me Richie.” Euro Richie needs all the help he can get at this point. The shorts are just mesmerizing dude. I can’t even concentrate on anything else happening here. If they were any tighter and shorter, you could be considered a male prostitute in some states.

-Now it’s time for these two to frolic around in the water. Jillian holds on tight, wraps her legs around his nuthuggers, as they jump off the boat to swim around. I’m sure she probably could’ve just balanced herself on his hard on if she wanted to. Ed, just go naked at this point, seriously. Your shorts are killing me. Even better news outside of his shorts getting smaller and smaller, is that he tells Jillian because he didn’t get a hometown date, he flew his parents out to Hawaii to meet her. Really? You flew them out there? On your own dime? Of course you did, Ed. And you exiting the show then returning was real too, right? Man, this guy is packing a bunch of lies. So much so that they don’t even fit in his shorts, or whatever it is that you call what he’s wearing. Last time I saw those worn in public, John Stockton was running the pick and roll with Karl Malone. Sorry ladies. Basketball reference. Hope it didn’t go over your head.

-So after the catamaran ride, Jillian meets Ed’s parents, Judy and Richie. Jillian: “You have no idea what your son has been putting me through.” I found that rather humorous. You mean, what the producers have been putting you through? Apparently, neither do all his girlfriends back in Chicago either. Just think of what they’re going through? Must be tough. I’m really starting to enjoy all this commotion with Ed, and his feelings, and the rumors of scorned women back in Chicago. This is good stuff. Maybe it’ll all come to a head soon. Any ex or current girlfriend that wants to speak up about what a creep he is, you know where to find me. And if you also want to tell us which “Gap Kids” he bought those shorts at, that’d be helpful as well. Judy and Jillian have a little talk outside and Jillian asks her, “Hey, does he like me? Huh, huh, huh?” Judy: “He’s definitely out of his element. I didn’t think this was something he’d do.” Neither did his flock of women back home. I love how in the time Jillian gets with his mom, she never once asked, “Hey, what’d he say when he was back home for a week? Any mention of his feelings, or what he was doing, or why he decided to leave then come back, or even how much he got paid to leave and come back?” That could’ve made for some interesting conversation.

-Now we watch Euro Richie and his dad have a heart-to-heart. Dad: “What the hell are we doing here?” Probably the funniest line of the season. Euro Richie should’ve responded with, “Dad, remember I told you. I agreed to leave the show with some work B.S. excuse only to come back to add more drama. Don’t you remember me telling you this before?” The younger Richie explains to pops that if Jillian picked him, he’d get engaged. Kind of a whirlwind Eddie the Dope has taken everyone on, hasn’t it? Leaves the show saying he can’t let down his co-workers, comes back with really no explanation whatsoever other than he couldn’t stop thinking of her, now he says that he’s ready for an engagement? Huh? I think the speedos he was wearing on the date are affecting the blood circulation to his brain. This guy is completely clueless as to what he wants. Of course, that doesn’t stop dad from buying it hook, line, and sinker. When he’s outside with Jillian, he tears up saying, “I’ve never seen Ed put his feelings on his shirt sleeve.” Or in his 3rd grade boy trunks. I’m totally confused as to what the hell little Richie has gotten himself into. I think he is too.

-Euro Richie: “I’m absolutely falling in love with you. I don’t care about anything else right now.” Yep, he’s completely in over his head. They go back to the hotel suite, and Jillian throws on, well, practically nothing and climbs all over him. No bra, a see through white shirt, and god knows if she had any panties on. It was soft core porn basically, except the lead female star has zero figure. So these two rubbing oils on each other and then apparently pass out. Of course, earlier in the season we were led to believe that this was the night Ed’s junk went out of order. Yeah, that’s really what happened. This show sickens me. They never even alluded to that last night. It was all about how Jillian and Eddie thought they were so into each other, but then when she was with him in the most intimate moments, she didn’t feel it. And by “it”, I’m not talking about Mr. Happy. She couldn’t understand why the physical chemistry wasn’t there. I think she blamed on a long day and being sunburnt. Sure, Jillian. That’s it. Sunburn. What a horrible excuse. You were practically naked climbing all over the guy and rubbing oils on each other and you’re saying there was no chemistry? Then you guys have got serious problems. Sunburn or no, if he wanted you that badly, he would’ve fought through it. When it comes to sex, usually nothing is getting in our way.

-Jillian is confused as to why both of them felt like they wanted to go to sleep rather than play hide the pickle. “Either the chemistry is not there, or there are other things going through his mind.” I’d say the latter. Dude has got hordes of women back home waiting on him hand and foot. Of course he’s a little gun shy on national television BS’ing about how he wants to marry you. Whatever the case, the hype machine that ABC built around what allegedly “malfunctioned” was right as we called it weeks ago. Nothing. Totally played something up that wasn’t there, and I think that’s why in recent weeks, they backed away from it in the previews. But that first preview alluding to it basically wanted everyone to think, “They are going to have sex on the overnight date but one guy can’t wake the sleeping giant”. Nice try, ABC. Real smooth. Such a classy show.

-OH MY GOD!!!!! Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for this? I never thought we’d see the return of it!!! The ridiculous video messages for Jillian!!! Weeeeeeeeee!!!!!!! Awesome. It’s probably been 6 or 7 seasons since we’ve seen these. These used to be a staple on the show until it became so ridiculously fake. First up, Kiptyn.

Kiptyn: “It’s been an amazing ride. From Southern California, to Canada, to San Diego, to Span, and now here in Hawaii. This feels like it could be the beginning of a great relationship. Lets do this!” WHAT??? Lets do this? Is he a high school senior now? Who says that? Seems like he’s really taking this show seriously.

Reid: “I have so many emotions and feelings for you. I know I avoided questions or reversed the questions back on you. This is all crazy and exciting at the same time.” Uhhhh, I don’t think that message made her heart flutter one bit. Nice going you failure.

Ed: “You’re beautiful, intelligent, and funny. I would love an opportunity to spend the rest of my life with you and propose to you. I love you.” Yikes. Layin’ it on a little thick there, don’t you think? Or just telling her what she wants to hear.

-Host Chris comes out and tells the boys, “Ok, here’s the deal. One of you is saying goodbye and will be on a plane back home tonight.” Sure they will, Chris. Another lie. Jillian comes out to give her pre-rose speech. “I’m definitely falling in love with all of you. I’m confused, but hey, at least I’m falling in love?” One of the worst speeches ever. What, is she trying to justify everything now? She’s confused as can be. So before she dumps Reid, she needs to pull European bikini model aside and make sure that he’s more unsure of everything going on. And he is. Richie: “I’m having a hard time adjusting to everything. There’s a lot of external things going on that I’m adjusting to (like having three girlfriends). Don’t worry about it. I promise you.” Translation: Worry about it. He basically just told her his head’s not all there, but hey, since he was the only one who threw out the “L” word and promised engagement at the end, I guess that punches his ticket to the final two.

Kiptyn: We are only two weeks away possibly from the worst couple this show has ever produced.
Ed: What’s the deal with the white pants a light blue jacket? Is he aware that this show is watched by millions of people? Man, and I thought the show had it out for Wes. Someone is playing a cruel joke on Richie and he doesn’t know it.

-So it’s time for Reid to say bye-bye. For now. Jillian: “I need a best friend and someone to laugh with. I worry that we’re in different places in our life. You don’t seem to be willing to take that chance.” Translation: If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it. If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it. Whoa uh oh, uh uh oh, whoa uh oh. Reid is heartbroken. I think. “I should’ve told her. Don’t know if that would’ve changed anything. Maybe I screwed myself. I was definitely falling in love with her. Don’t think she knows that. This whole thing is my fault. It would’ve been a lot easier if I told her I loved her. I think I f***ed up. If I could reverse things I would.”

-After breaking the news of what happened with Jason/Melissa/Molly last season, whether I like or not, I’ve somehow become the de facto “Bachelor” authority. A lot of you think I have all the answers. I don’t. Never said I did. I tell you all stuff that I know for sure. And when its rumored, I specify its rumor. POSSIBLE SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!So as for the finale, here’s what I can tell you: I’m not sure what happens. Sure, I have some ideas based on things I’ve heard, but nothing that I’m 100% confident about to say, “Ok, here is what you’ll see in 2 weeks”. I don’t think I’m going out on a limb here when I say that Reid plays a pretty big role in what happens in the finale. Maybe he professes his love, maybe he comes back to propose, whatever the case, he plays a role in it. If he didn’t, he would’ve appeared at the “MTA” taping this past weekend, sat on the hot seat, and answered questions about his journey. They’ve done that every season for 17 seasons, why would this be any different? If I’m wrong, and we don’t see Reid at all, then I’ll own up to it. But I think he plays a role in the finale. Especially with his send off saying, “I should’ve told her that I loved her”, and, “If I could reverse things, I would.” It’s kinda like Ed’s departure in that they’re setting up a return. And the no-show at the “MTA” tapings confirm that suspicion even more.

-As for who Jillian picks, here’s what I do know: We are not going to get a normal ending. We are not going to see Jillian pick one guy, he proposes, she accepts, and they are happy in love. That I’m 99% sure about. For all the reasons I spoke of last week in regards to the answers she’s been giving about the rest of the season. If she was in love, she would’ve told us by now in interviews. If she was engaged, she would’ve admitted it. However, that doesn’t mean that she isn’t or won’t be soon. What do I mean by that? This is strictly my prediction based on all the information I’ve gathered: I think when we watch the 2 hour finale on Monday night the 27th, we are not going to get a final resolution to anything. I’m also 99% sure that the final one is not Kiptyn, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s Ed. I think Mike Fleiss and Co. saw what a big deal the “ATFR” show was last season, and we will get a cliffhanger leading into the “ATFR” show on Tuesday. One extra night means more eyeballs, which means more viewers, and more ad dollars, which means more money for them. Why not just air the “ATFR” after the finale? Why wait til the next night? I think they’re going to capitalize on a cliffhanger from Monday night, the 27th.

-So what could happen that could make them leave us with a cliffhanger leading into Tuesday’s “ATFR” show? Reid could come back and propose, she could be all set on Ed being her guy, then he tells her about his numerous women at home and it freaks her out, Kiptyn could admit to being the worst kisser ever, she could pull a Womack after hearing something and decide that she needs more time, maybe all three propose and she’s completely blown away, etc. Could be any number of things. What know is that we will not have a normal two hour finale. Something is going to happen which will force you to tune in to Tuesday night to get the resolution you’re looking for. If I was leaning one way, I’d say that Jillian makes her decision on someone, or no one, on Tuesday night. But that’s just a guess. I could be absolutely 100% dead wrong. But since so many of you have asked in recent weeks what I think/know happens, there’s my answer. If I find anything about before then, I’ll let you know, but that’s where I stand right now. Sorry to disappoint those of you who think I know everything. Not this season. Congrats to ABC for doing a much better job this season of keeping a lid on things.

So that’s it for this week. Back on Friday with our first “Reality Roundup” in almost a month. Sorry about that. The interviews started to take precedence and took up more time than I thought. Any questions, comments, emails, criticisms, praises, email me at steve@realitysteve.com.

Administrator The Bachelorette 5 - Jillian

Remember how I told you it’s very tough to have the booted contestants from this show come do interviews because ABC won’t release them to me? Well thank God for Wes Hayden. Very much a breath of fresh air in this very revealing, inside look at what really went down with his “character” this season on the “Bachelorette”. Let’s just say Wes is pretty pissed off with how things shook down, and all he’s here to do is tell his side of the story. At that point, then feel free to make your decision about what you saw on TV vs. the real Wes Hayden. Yes, I’m continuing my one man crusade to expose the show for the fraud it is. Wes Hayden most certainly helps with that and paints a pretty clear picture of what this show does to get the results it wants.

Let me say that I understand a lot of you already have formed your opinion, you hate the guy, and probably nothing he says will change your mind. Kind of head scratching. What I’m assuming is that you formed your opinion of him based on what you’ve seen on television for the last 8 weeks. If he never came out to defend his actions that so many of you are bothered by, then I think you would say, “What a jerk for how he acted and what he said on TV.” Now that he is letting it known how he was edited by giving specific examples, you are saying, “Well, he’s just doing damage control.” Seems a little unfair, no? Apparently he can’t win in your eyes because your mind is made up. Well, let this interview just be a chance for him to tell you what really happened, and then, if you can honestly say that you don’t believe a word of what the guy is saying, you hear no sincerity in his voice, and is completely going out of his way to make this all up, then that’s your decision. I tend to believe the guy and think he got the worst edit in show history, and that’s why I wanted to talk to him. Hey remember, I was the guy who called him a douchenozzle back in week 1 or 2 of this column, so it is possible to do a 180. I just want to lay this out there for all of you to hear for yourself and if you think this guy is really the guy you saw on TV for eight weeks. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

Some of the topics covered in this 1 hour and 25 minute interview (I suggest you stick around for all 85 minutes. I understand it’s long, but he’s got a lot to say and we essentially cover EVERY question that most of you have about what you saw):

-Where did/does his relationship stand with Laurel? What’s been the fallout with her since the show has aired?
-Why and when did Wes go to the producers and tell them he wanted to leave and what was their response?
-What are his feelings towards everything Jake said about him during, and after, the show?
-Was the dinner date in Spain as painful as it came across on TV?
-What about the infamous limo ride and all the brilliant quotes he gave after being eliminated?
-Specifically, how did they edit things that he said, or didn’t say, to make him look like the villain?
-How have people treated him since watching him on the show?
-Is he going to appear at the “Men Tell All” taping this Saturday in LA?
-What did ABC do to his family that had both he and them pissed off?

All this and much, much more in this very revealing exclusive interview only heard here on RealitySteve.com. I appreciate the fact that Wes decided to come to me and spend this much time explaining why and how things went down the way they did. Hey, if any other contestant wants to come and spill their guts about how unfair they thought their edit was to me, I’ll gladly put them on. I’d love to do this every week. But I think Wes’ is story is most important considering he is public enemy #1 right amongst most female fans of this show. All I wanted was for him to tell his side of the story, and then let you decide where you stand. I don’t really see how you can side with ABC, or even say the truth lies “somewhere in the middle”, but hey, that’s just me. I know what this show does to people, and I know how sneaky they are. Wes Hayden was truly a victim of ABC’s manipulation and now its his turn to tell you why and how. Hope you enjoy the interview:

Wes Hayden Interview

One thing I forgot to ask about while we were recording was the, “Hey, that bird’s only got one foot” comment he made to Jillian after she asked him “How would you make it work if I pick you in the end?” Wes admits he did say that line, but not right after Jillian asked that question. It was right in the beginning of the date when they sat down is when he saw the bird, yet they edited it to make it seem like that’s how he answered her question. Not surprising.

Any questions, comments, emails, praises, criticisms, feedback, feel free to email me at steve@realitysteve.com.

Administrator Interviews, The Bachelorette 5 - Jillian

-I’ve really been out of the loop for the last five or six days having been out of town. So there really isn’t much to address beforehand. The store will continue its sale throughout this week, and if you want your picture up on the site, you can see we’ve added a flickr photo album. Thanks to Holly, DeAnna, Natalie, and Richard for their pics. Good stuff. A lot of you have sent emails over the last week that I probably didn’t get to. My apologies. But I wasn’t really around a computer at all and didn’t want to respond through Blackberry to everyone. And when I got back yesterday, there were just too many to go through pretty much all asking the same questions. So if I have time today, I will get around to them. If not, don’t take it personal.

-The only thing I want to say about last week is I stand by what I did. I was kinda surprised so many people ran with the “do what you do best” comment, when that’s probably the 2nd column in the last 7 years where I didn’t do a recap. Really? And honestly, I planned on doing a regular recap, but when they zipped through 4 hometown dates in the first fifty minutes, and dedicated so much time to butchering Wes’ edit and the return of Ed, I figured that was an appropriate time to bring out the column. And for every negative comment I received regarding what I did, trust me, there were ten emails/comments/facebook posts thanking me for letting them know what really goes on. I think a lot of you need to remember that probably 95% of the “Bachelorette’s” audience does not follow message boards and study screencaps and read blogs. They just tune in every Monday and live their life the rest of the week thinking what they saw was real. Amazing, I know, but it’s the truth. Will I reach all of them? Of course not. Just because you read stuff about the show on the internet, doesn’t mean everyone else does. In fact, you are most definitely in the minority. I think what I wrote helped, and I’m glad I did what I did. Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.

-The first ten minutes of the show were dedicated to recaps of Jillian’s journey so far with the remaining four guys. Waste of time. Although, what was funny was her just aimlessly walking the streets of Spain as her voice over is telling us all about the four guys. It got me thinking, “What do the Spaniards think of this show?” When they see some Canadian girl walking their streets with cameras following her, are they aware of what crap is being filmed? Do they even get the show out there when we do, or are they just getting around to airing Bob Guiney’s season in Madrid? This I’ve always wondered. I’ve never been to Spain, so I’m clueless to how their prime time TV network schedule looks. My guess? Soccer in the mornings, soccer in the afternoons, and soccer at night. And the nights when soccer isn’t on? Bullfighting. Maybe a “Flamenco Dancing With the Stars” as a reality show. Then once a year you have your special of the “Running of the Bulls” where crazy, lubed up fans try to out run a bunch of charging bulls down narrow streets. Hell of a sport. Where do I sign up? Any sport where the downside is possibly taking a bull’s horn right up your ass and being trampled, consider me out. Call me crazy.

-So Kiptyn is the first one up for a date. Jillian is giddy again, but does have some reservations. “Maybe Kiptyn is out of my league and he isn’t falling for me.” Hmmmm, maybe you’re right. Just kinda funny hearing Jillian say someone is “out of her league”. Since I’m unaware of Jillian’s ex-boyfriends and what they look like, I can’t jump to too many conclusions. Lets just say that Jillian is a lucky woman to be cast this season as the “Bachelorette”, since two others rejected it, yet they tried to play it off like “America fell in love with Jillian.” They did? When? Did I miss something? Do you know how many people I heard in coffee shops and on the streets talking about how they HAD to have Jillian Harris as the next “Bachelorette”? I’ll tell you how many: zero. Just another way for them to peddle their fake love story. And for those interested, ABC has been pushing the “Bachelorette” this season as the third most watched show of the summer. Once again, only half the story. Yes, it is, but that’s because pretty much everything else its up against are repeats. Not a lot of new network shows that get released in the summer. Why do you think they’re running it now? Put Jillian’s season on when shows start up in September, and it’d be about the 20th most watched show.

-Uh oh. More problems in Loveville with Jillian and Kiptyn. When Jillian asks him what he thinks about a possible proposal at the end of all this, he replies, “I think a proposal seems far off at this point in time”. Jillian then goes on to contradict herself by saying, “I am here to get engaged. I want an engagement out of this. I think it’d be fun. But I don’t necessarily have to have one.” Huh? I think Jillian is pretty enamored with the thought of possibly being engaged to on the show because she desperately wants to shut some people up. But hey, it actually seems like Kiptyn has a head on his shoulders. Really? A bachelor who actually thinks that six weeks might be a little too early to drop a proposal on somebody? Where’d casting find this guy, and why did the script call for him to last this long? Make no mistake, the show ALWAYS would like to see a proposal at the end. They can’t force these people to, but there’s definitely incentive thrown out there.

-I’m going to send a lot of you out on a hunt right now. Like I said, I’ve been out of the loop and pretty much away from a computer for the last week, and frankly I just don’t feel like looking for this, but I’m sure some of you will. As far as I know, in every interview I’ve seen or read with Jillian since the season ended taping about a month ago, I have yet to hear her say she is engaged, I have yet to hear her say she is in love, I have yet to hear her say she can’t wait to see the man that she chose again, and I have yet to hear her say she talks to her man every day and they are so happy together. All we’ve gotten is, “I’m happier than I’ve ever been (but not necessarily with another person), the “last five minutes is really good”, and “I’m happy with my decision.” Now, I can’t read everything, and there are some interviews I might have missed, but that’s what I’ve gathered so far. Sounds an awful lot like Brad Womack to me. Jason screamed from the mountain tops before the season even started how in love he was and that he was engaged. DeAnna let us know that she was engaged before the finale. During Andy Baldwin’s season they promoted all along a proposal at the end. Maybe ABC told her to play it coy to not let anything out, maybe not. But I’d be interested if someone could find me an interview she’s given where she said something different than what I listed below and specifically mentions she chose someone, they are happy together, and can’t wait to see each other again. I’ve yet to hear that.

-Time for the embarrassing portion of last nights show: Kiptyn and Jillian flamenco dancing. They walk in to a mini studio where two instructors are waiting for them, Maria and Ricardo. Let me ask you something: What were the odds that two flamenco dance instructors in Madrid, Spain would be named “Maria” and “Ricardo”? 1-to-1? 1-to-5? Could I have gone anywhere and bet on this beforehand? I believe they even said the guitar player’s name was “Paco”. What’s next? Are they going to tell us that “Maria y Ricardo work at the biblioteca?” Or that Maria drives a red car? If I remember anything about high school Spanish class, it was that every female in the text book was named “Maria”, and every male was named “Ricardo”. And I’m sure they had a third friend named “Paco” who liked going to the grocery store to buy “naranjas, platanos, y flan.” Never in the book were they flamenco dance instructors. This disturbs me. You know what else disturbed me? The fact that Jillian couldn’t clap in rhythm. Maria could. Ricardo could. Hell, Kiptyn could even clap in sequence, but there’s Jillian completely spazzing out to a simple clap. That means on next season of “Idol”, she’s going join the mosh pit in front of the stage with the rest of them who are completely out of tune.

-Now these two decide to ride mopeds around town before settling in for some dinner. Personally, I think they should’ve gone the route of “Dumb and Dumber” and had one strapped on to the others back, but that’s just me. At dinner, they discussed Kiptyn’s tight fitting outfit during the dance session. Kiptyn: “I could get the button on the shirt closed, just not the zipper.” Jillian: “You could hurt the boys that way.” Which was a brilliant segue into her next topic of, “Hey, you want kids someday?” Ha ha. Very nice. Kiptyn says he definitely wants kids if he’s able to after having the circulation cut off to the boys earlier in the night. Then I started thinking about the kids these two would have. Short, big noses, and big ears. Outstanding. Get to reproducing you two.

-Jillian now wants to ask him some more hard hitting questions. “If I were to ask your last three ex-girlfriends what’s one thing they’d change about you, what would they say?” Kiptyn: “That I have a twin brother.” Easy there, ego. Lets not get carried away with how awesome you think you are. And there’s enough bad kissing you’ve done on this show to last a lifetime. Do we really need a second version of you terrorizing other women’s mouths? I think not. Jillian then proceeds to tell him something all guys want to here from a potential mate. “You remind me of my dad.” Guys, never tell a woman she reminds you of your mom. And ladies, never tell a guy he reminds you of your dad. There’s just really nothing positive that can come out of that. Jillian then goes to the “You’re too nice” card on him. Basically asks him that because he’s so nice, if they were in a relationship, would he ever challenge her or call her out on something. Frankly, this is a sore subject with me, so when Kiptyn says he would totally do that, she agrees. If only she believed it. I’ve been on the receiving end of this, and it seems that when you do call them out and challenge them, they don’t like it. So it’s a lose-lose situation. You keep your mouth shut, and you’re too nice. You challenge them, and it turns into a fight. That blows.

-So for whatever reason, we’re gonna bust out the date cards in Spain as well as Hawaii. “Welcome to the romantic city of Madrid. Should you choose to forgo your individual rooms for the evening, please use this key to enjoy your night together in the fantasy suite. Chris.” I hated the date cards coming out this early because it’s so contrived. So I’m supposed to applaud Jillian for turning down all the guys on the overnight date in Spain, knowing that a week later in real time, she’s going to use the overnight date cards on Reid, Ed, and Kiptyn? So dumb. Jillian: “I don’t think I’m ready to spend the entire night with somebody.” Oh, but you will be the next time you see them in Hawaii? Please. Her and Kiptyn did go up to the room and play tonsil hockey since he left with his hair all disheveled, but because he didn’t actually stay the night, I’m expected to view Jillian as some virgin princess? No thanks. That was so staged in advance.

-Next up is Reid’s date in Seville, Spain. According to Jillian, they are going to have “wine, cheeses, hang out in the park, and make out.” What a wonderful day in Seville, Spain for that. Two Americans (well, one American and one Canadian) fondling each other in a park to be televised back in the States. I can’t see why the local Sevillians would have any problem with that. I could tell you one guy who definitely had a problem with them: the meat guy in the grocery store. He must’ve been like, “What the hell did I just get myself into?” The guy has probably been serving meats for 30 years in that shop, all the sudden an American film crew shows up with two idiots who don’t speak a lick of Spanish trying to order a meal for twelve. We get it, you don’t speak the language, and when trying to order, you’re trying to be funny. Reid: “Soy grande.” Thanks for that, Reid. Has nothing to do with any sort of sandwich you’re ordering. Might as well have dropped on them, “Soy guapo”, which is what I most certainly would’ve done. It’s the only thing I remember from Spanish class.

-Jillian: “Reid is not the guy I saw myself with, I’m not gonna lie.” Uh oh. Didn’t we hear that from DeAnna when speaking about Jesse? I think we did. Reid says his family loved her, but it always takes him a while to tell someone how he’s feeling. Reid is the guy this season that has a hard time opening up and is a little weary about the whole situation. Whether or not that works for or against him only time will tell, but, he does seem a bit nervous about the whole thing. Reid: “It could be love, but I’m not there yet to say it to her. I move so slow with these things. Physically, I’m attracted to her. Mentally I’m there. I just need to take time.” Well, we get one of these guys every season. Can he open up in time before she lets him go? There’s Reid’s storyline this season. Kiptyn’s is as the heartbreaker who’s never had his heart broken. And Ed’s is the guy who was told he’d be leaving the show only to be brought back so they could create drama. And of course, Wes is the villain who they throw under the bus with the butchered editing job.

-The date card comes out for these two and Reid gives the most honorable answer he can. “I’ll just do whatever you want to do.” Oh, ok. Pin it all on her. It was here where he started to mention how he gets bothered by her kissing all the other guys. Earlier in the day, Jillian had told Reid she’s not one of those girls that constantly needs to know the answer to things, and doesn’t need to constantly ask why you feel certain ways about things. Yet after Reid tells her he feels uncomfortable with her kissing the other guys, she comes back with, “Why? Tell me, tell me.” Yeah, I’m sure that won’t get annoying after, oh I don’t know, a week? However, Reid has got to know what this show is about by this point. She takes four guys to Spain, she makes out with four guys (well, I guess except Wes), then she’ll take three of you to Hawaii, she’ll make out, grope, fondle, explore body parts with all three of you, then when it’s down to two, she chooses (we’re assuming), the one who she feels most comfortable with in a hot tub. She figured once she did that with Jason, she was all his. But that’s not what the script called for, uhhhhhh, I mean Jason had to go with his heart. That changed two months later.

-Reid: “She has my heart. As neurotic as I am, as much as I 2nd guess things, I’m confident in my relationship with Jillian.” Ummmm, I don’t really know what the hell that means. I guess as confident as one can be who knows she’s getting frisky next week with two other guys in Hawaii. Or is he just saying, “Look, I know every time I go to the bathroom, I can’t leave without washing each hand 37 times, and that I’d love to be given a year supply of Purell as a parting gift from this show if Jillian doesn’t pick me in the end, but yeah, I’m pretty confident I’m going all the way. And if not, my real estate business got some free pub. And if they ever decide to do a ‘Friends’ reunion show and Matthew Perry doesn’t sign on for it, I could always fill in.” Remember how in the beginning of the season I said Reid looked like someone and I couldn’t put my finger on it? Well, I’ve gotten more emails from people suggesting who he looks like, and you should see how long this list is. Maybe I’ll share all the suggestions I got next week. Unbelievable how many different emails I got suggesting who Reid looks like. The list is at least 15 names long. And only one of them named the person I finally figured out who it was he resembled: PGA Tour player David Toms. Google him. You’ll see the uncanny resemblance.

-Since ABC was too cheap to give Ed a date in a different city (or Reid, however you want to look at it), Ed gets his date in the sloppy seconds city of Seville as well. I’m sure it still smells like Reid’s hand soap everywhere they go. Ed immediately explains himself during a horse carriage ride. Sort of. “I got home and I’m like, ‘What am I doing?’ I need more time. I couldn’t get you off my mind. I had to come back somehow.” Of course, no mention whatsoever about how he was the first ever contestant in 18 seasons to actually leave the show, fly back to his hometown (which has been confirmed by people in Chicago), only to show back up again to re-enter the competition. And without a good explanation either. Even fellow contestants didn’t even know he was allowed to do it. Our boy Michael Stagliano, who was booted last week, even said as much in his exit interview last week. Check out what he had to say:

Michael Stagliano Interview

-Jillian asks Ed, “What would it have been like if I would’ve gotten to go home with you?” Well, for one, I’m sure he would’ve taken you to all the pretty sights and sounds that Chicago has to offer. You guys could’ve taken in a Cubs game and sang “Go Cubs Go! Go Cubs Go! Hey Chicago, whaddya’ say, Cubs are gonna win today!” afterwards. Maybe taken you to the Sears Tower since that’s such a historic landmark. Then to cap it all off, I’m sure he would’ve introduced you to the numerous girls he’s bedding in the Chicago area all while pretending to be single on the show. That would’ve made for some great television. Boy, you do enough digging you find out some really interesting stuff about these people. Too bad they gave Wes the hatchet job on the editing. Probably should’ve been Easy Eddie and his minions of girls waiting for him back in Chicago not knowing what the hell is going on. Of course, none of this will ever get brought up at the “Men Tell All” episode. It’ll be the Dave/Juan show, and the “Butcher Wes’ edit even more” episode.

-The producers decide to show us how much of a physical chemistry these two have, and give us more of Hypocritical Jillian, by showing us them making out in every possible landmark in Seville. This is the first alone time she’s spent with a guy who essentially ditched her for work, then came back unannounced, yet before getting into all the questions she would need to ask somebody who pulled this stunt, she can’t keep her tongue of her mouth. Yeah, she really seems to be struggling with what Ed did. If she’s not careful, he might actually have to explain himself. But not before climaxing a few times apparently. Geesh. Get a room you two. Oh wait, that’s later. But for the time being, it’s make out city in Seville. Jillian: “I can’t stop making out with Ed.” They even jump into a fountain, roll up their pants, and make out in front of a group of people looking on probably adding more fuel to the fire of why they hate Americans. Hell, if I lived there and saw that, I’d hate us too. Get out of the fountain you two, you look ridiculous. I know the producers told you to do that, but geez, could you at least have shown a little restraint? Really? Making out in the fountain? It’s not like you just accepted a proposal either. There’s still three other guys left. Sometime this show makes me want to vomit. Ok, all the time.

-Ed: “I need to show her I’m a trusting person.” Yes you do. Can your girlfriends back home back you up on that one? Just curious. Ed asks Jillian, “How open are you to living somewhere else?” Jillian is open to the the idea since the thought of living in Vancouver pretty much makes Ed want to hurl. He mentions that he can see them being together a long time, taking in Cubs’ games, and just enjoying life together. Jillian chimes in she knows nothing about baseball. Shocker. I thought she could reel off Alfonso Soriano’s awful stats from this season. Or that she likes Carlos Zambrano’s stuff, but doesn’t know why he has to blow a gasket every other start. She really seemed like the type who could break down why its better to have Carlos Marmol setting up Kevin Gregg rather than the other way around. Wow. I really misjudged you Jillian. I apologize. How about while in you’re in Chicago, you go visit my crush from last season Nikki and ask her if she can come in and replace you as the “Bachelorette”? Like, ummmm, now. Two episodes left, just let her take over from here so I can watch the rest of this season with the volume and my pants down. Been a while since I used that one.

-The date card comes out for her and Ed. Something I didn’t really understand was her telling all the guys that she wasn’t ready for it, but not telling any of them, “Hey, just to let you know, I’m turning you down, but I’m also turning the rest of the guys down.” I think I would’ve done that if I were her just to set the guys minds at ease. Although, there’s a strong possibility she did tell them that but they never showed it to us. Because, well, they’re known for that sort of thing. These two actually did decide to use the room for the night since they had some “catching up to do” due to the script calling for Ed to leave earlier this season and come back. But Jillian assures us that the “clothes will stay on”. Like we have any idea if that’s true or not. People will believe what they want to believe happens behind closed doors. Personally do I think sex happens? Yes. That’s what horny people that are attracted to each other do. They have sex. Does it happen with all of them? Not sure. I guess it’s up to each individual person to choose to do it with whoever they choose to do it with. Sorry, I don’t have those answers. And I’m guessing you’ll never get any of them to actually admit it any way, so its pure speculation.

-Next up is a date in Barcelona with Wes. Here’s where it gets tricky. Already a lot of you are on my case asking, “So how did Wes get the bad edit job this week? Huh? Huh? Huh?” I don’t know how to answer that other than to say he did. What they did to him this week was just as easily edited as it was last week. And the week before. And the week before. It is very apparent that ABC set out to have a particular storyline with Wes’ character and they were going to edit things he said, splice them together, and get what they wanted. Although, I did find the “I have a song from my 2nd album that’s #2 in Chihuahua, Mexico” rather humorous. He definitely said that. Why? I have no idea. But it was funny. I really can’t recap Wes’ date because nothing that we were shown I believe really happened. I think them sitting at dinner and having their conversation spliced up into soundbites was ridiculous. They had an agenda with him for whatever reason, and he got thrown under the bus. There’s a big difference between feeding guys and girls alcohol, then recording all their worst moments and airing them, and to purposely putting words together in sentences from different time parts to make them say something they didn’t. Totally different.

-As you know I think Wes is getting one of the worst edits this show has ever done, and it’s nearly impossible to comment on what happened on his date, at the rose ceremony, and in the limo afterwards. I can easily see how everything he said in the limo was edited, it’s not very hard. They can cut and splice anything together and make it sound like one normal sentence without a change in pitch or tone. I’d really like to get to the bottom of this whole situation. Stay tuned the next couple days and I’ll see what I can come up with.

-Time for the rose ceremony. Three guys in suits, and Wes in jeans and a jacket. Kinda reminded me when Graham got the boot at the final four. Totally underdressed for the occasion, but, for what reason we’ll never know. Jillian: “This is one of the best weeks in my life. Never been to Europe before. Or Spain for that matter. No idea I’d have the feelings I have right now. Except for Wes. So after I give out the first two roses, and it’s between Wes and Kiptyn, there will be zero suspense since it’s obvious who is going home. Let’s just see if I can do this right without Chris Harrison here to help me. He’s probably getting another comped room and meal by one of these hotels. Bastard.”

Ed: I hope your women back home bought the “Hey, I gotta go to Texas for work” line.
Reid: Lets see how they actually depict his “bedroom malfunction” next week. I’m guessing it’ll be 100% different than how they portrayed it earlier this season. Funny how they didn’t even mention it in previews for next weeks episode.
Kiptyn: Like Wes stood a chance by this point.

-So yes, Wes did have one of the all-time great limo departures in show history. Some highlights?

“How you gonna lose to Reid? That boy’s a retard.”
“Those boys couldn’t get a nibble from the women in Texas.”
“I’m the first guy in Bachelorette history to make it to the final four with a girlfriend”

I know some of you are absolutely hanging on every one of those words and are positive those couldn’t have been edited, trust me I’ve seen your emails, but I’m here to tell you they were. Let me see what I can do and I promise I will get back to you this week.

Any questions, comments, emails, criticisms, praises, email me at steve@realitysteve.com. Stay tuned for more. It’s coming.

Administrator The Bachelorette 5 - Jillian