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WEEK OF 5.16.05
Thoughts on the last week of reality television. Shows include the “Survivor” finale, the “Apprentice”, “American Idol”, the “Contender”, and the reality shows I’m most looking forward to this summer.
-Well, thank God for the first time since “Thailand” did someone that actually deserved win “Survivor” did. That was a no-brainer. I wouldn’t have had a problem if Tom or Ian won, and I said that about two months ago. They were the best players out there by far and it would’ve been the best final twosome ever if Ian didn’t pull off what he did. I’m disappointed Probst didn’t ask the jury during the reunion if Tom had taken Ian to the finals who they would’ve voted for? The vote would’ve been 4-3 somebody, I just don’t know who.
-For those that don’t know, the final vote was 6-1 Tom. Probst didn’t read off the remaining two votes during the finale to spare Katie’s feelings, but it was a wipeout just like most of us expected. That couldn’t have been a more predictable Tom victory. Katie? Are you kidding me? And I still don’t know what Coby was talking about when he voted for her? He probably knew Tom was going to win and just gave her a sympathy vote.
-I don’t see what was wrong with Greg’s speech at Tribal Council towards Katie. Why did he apologize for that? He said exactly what we were all thinking. “This chick did nothing all show but ride the coattails of the two best players. Why should she get anyone’s vote?” Stick by your guns, Greg. Annihilate her any chance you can get. In ten seasons, I couldn’t think of a less deserving player to reach the finals than Katie. Sandra pretty much did the same thing riding Rupert’s coattails, but she actually won the damn thing, a mystery unto itself. But no one in the history of the show did less than Katie to get where they did. It’s not even close.
-When did Coby and Janu become lovers? When did this relationship start? That was all very bizarre. I’ve got no problem with him adopting a kid, but he named it after her? One of the lazier tribemates ever? Uh, ok. Whatever floats your boat. And if the child was a newborn, wouldn’t it already have a name? You mean his cousin had to give it up that quickly that she couldn’t even name it? That whole thing was just weird.
-Ok, so how many people had life changing experiences out on the island? Every one of them? I’ve never been on the show obviously, so I can’t speak for those who have, but it must be some experience to go through what they do. Some of the things we’ve seen over the years (i.e.- Colby’s loyalty to Tina, “Vanilla Ice” Rob’s lifestyle change, Coby this season, Ian giving up a chance at a million to earn friendship back, etc.) makes you really wonder how difficult it is out there for them. I couldn’t do it, I know that.
-I don’t think we’ve ever had a final Immunity Challenge that lasted as long as Tom and Ian did. 11 ˝ hours? Are you kidding me? And you know neither one of them was coming down anytime soon. I think both of them could’ve stayed there for another day or two. Probably would’ve if Ian hadn’t come up with his brilliant idea. Look, if that’s how the kid felt, that’s how he felt. I couldn’t have done it though. Then again, would’ve never lasted more than 11 minutes let alone 11 hours. Good God. How could they even swim after having their legs in that position for almost half a day?
-Someone really needed to tell the crazy old lady to sit down and stop singing. How did I know we’d get one of those? And I really enjoyed getting an update on Kim and Jeff’s relationship, along with Greg and Jenn’s. Thanks for nothing. You telling me absolutely no good dirt there? C’mon. That’s what we were all waiting for. Probst didn’t push hard enough to get something out of them. He’s lost his touch. This guy has completely gone bonkers for girlfriend Julie, maybe he should be replaced. On second thought, no thanks. No one could possibly replace The Probst and what he does. No one raises their arms better to start a challenge than him.
-With Tom being the oldest person to ever win “Survivor” at 41 years old, and now the average age of the winning contestant being over 30, it really makes you think how come none of the younger crowd can do it? Jenna somehow did and she didn’t strategize or do anything out of the ordinary other than stand around, look hot, play Rob Cesternino the whole game, and ride him all the way to $1 million.
-Here’s one thought that crossed through my head: If you took “Survivor: Australia” and had it this season instead of in Season Two, I don’t think Tina beats Colby. In fact, I think she gets blown out. The whole novelty of her getting that far was there earlier in the franchise and I think a lot of them were still new to the whole concept, and caught up in the “underdog” theory, that they probably voted with their hearts and not their head. But now, with the way everything has played out over the past few seasons, I think people would’ve been more apt to vote for Colby’s dominance over Tina’s coattailing.
-I found the “Apprentice” rather interesting this past week in that, the hour that we saw, the only negative remarks came out of Tana’s task, whereas every single thing that Kendra did pleased Carolyn and George, pleased the executives, and from what they showed, Kendra didn’t do one thing wrong. On the other hand, Tana’s task seemed much harder and she had three boobs she was forced to work with. How did Brian ever get on this show? What’s one redeeming leadership quality that guy has? And did we really need to see he and Craig waking up in the morning shirtless? How many months pregnant is Brian? Just curioius.
-I don’t know who Trump is leaning towards for this Thursday, but if I had to guess, based on what we saw, it’s got to be Kendra. Although she looks like she could be attending her sorority rush next week. She has never lost as a project manager, and Tana’s only loss was to her, so that definitely bodes well for Kendra. And she’s got an education. The only thing that would prevent her from winning is her age. But not like it matters. I mean, the previous two winners aren’t doing anything important anyway, right?
-In case you haven’t seen the story, “Newsweek” did an article with Kelly about how the job has gone since he’s taken over, and, let’s just say, I wish I was doing what he’s doing. Which is basically getting paid good coin to do pretty much next to nothing other than pump up the Donald and his business. A lot of speaking engagements, a lot “Yes sir”-ing to Trump’s ideas, etc. Basically doing a whole lot of nothing. Who knows what he’s actually done with the project he’s assigned to. And oh yeah, his office is a windowless cubicle adjacent to Melania Trump’s assistants’ desk. Wow. Big time. Where do I sign up? And apparently Bill Rancic’s job isn’t that much more plush either. These guys were hired to pretty much feed the Donald’s ego, and I’m guessing they won’t be with Trump two years from now.
-A less shocking thing to see was Anthony getting the boot on “American Idol”. Gee, didn’t see that one coming. If you would’ve told me when the final twelve were announced that he would’ve been in the final four, I’d have called you crazy. I’m still scratching my head to how he made it that far. I wonder how Mom Natalia and Dad Vladimir took that? That was shocking. No, not their reaction. But that two Ukranian parents were named Natalia and Vladimir. Who ever would’ve thought that? They looked like a Mary and Bob to me.
-Did we ever get an explanation as to why Vonzell had a “tough day” last Tuesday? How come this was never addressed? For fear of swaying votes one way or another? The only rumors I heard was that a family member was sick. But I heard her mom was diagnosed with cancer. Then I heard it was her dad. I have no idea. They made it seem like it was something to do with family, but it could’ve just been her turning on the waterworks after that horrible performance she put on. That was bad.
-And speaking of Vonzell’s family, has her dad and whoever sits next to him been wearing the same suits for nine weeks? How pimped out are those guys? Too bad we only have to see their bad suits one more week. I know the voting can get whacky and anything can happen, but if this isn’t a Bo/Carrie final, I’d really be surprised. Although I still think the two best singers left are Carrie and Vonzell.
-Did anyone notice the sexual tension between Anthony and Carrie last week? They both were center stage singing “Islands in the Stream”, and when the “…making love to each other” part of the song came out, they both looked at each other like, “Damn right we hit it last night.” Maybe that was just me. And oh yeah, Carrie wasn’t so subtle when he was singing his farewell song, she’s bawling her eyes out, and you could see her on the big screen saying to him “I love you”. Very subtle, there.
-“Reality Roundup” will continue periodically throughout the summer months. Will it be every week? I highly doubt it. Every two weeks? Probably. You’re just gonna have to keep checking back for updates. But there are two shows I’m most definitely looking forward to. One is “Dancing with the Stars”. Have you seen this mess? Six people will be paired with a professional ballroom dancer, and every week they’ll dance in front of judges, who will eliminate one couple a week. Apparently this show is big in other countries, so they’re bringing it to the states like they did with “American Idol” in hopes of it catching on. Whether or not the ratings are good remains to be seen, but check out this cast of six that will be competing against each other: Trista from the “Bachelorette”, Evander Holyfield, Rachel Hunter, Joey McIntyre of “N.K.O.T.B.” fame, John O’Hurley (Elaine’s boss on “Seinfeld”), and some chick from “General Hospital”. Huh? Who picked those six randoms? And since Trista is a former Miami Heat dancer, doesn’t she have kind of an unfair leg up on the other contestants? Whatever the case, expect a ballroom dance craze to be sweeping the nation once this show starts airing. You know it’s going to happen. All your local news stories will be about ballroom dancing, suddenly all your friends will start taking classes saying it’s cool. Trust me, it’ll happen.
-And after “American Idol” tonight, be sure to flip over to UPN for the debut of Britney and Kevin’s “Chaotic”. Just the absurdity of these two putting out a reality show is a good enough reason for me to watch. I mean, talk about a 10 car pileup on the freeway? How can you not watch this thing just for pure curiosity purposes? What are these two possibly going to inform me on about marriage and relationships? That its alright to ditch your pregnant ex-girlfriend and latch on to a multi-million dollar woman? Outstanding. I’m on pins and needles for this show to start. There’ll definitely be a column next week because of this show alone, that’s for sure. Until then…..
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