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WEEK OF 6.28.04
-Thoughts on the last week of reality television.....
-Some interesting tidbits in the reality world over the past week, beginning with Jenna Lewis' explanation to tape her 42 minutes of sex with her husband and have it put on the internet. Her explanation? She didn't have one, other than "It was a dumb mistake." No, a dumb mistake is locking your keys in your car. Taping your husband going down on you on your wedding night, then broadcasting it to millions on the internet when you have twin 8 year old daughters....that's f***in' stupid.
-These two rocket scientists still don't know how this tape ended up on the internet, but they seem to think a "friend" got a hold of it and did it. How many things are wrong with this picture? Let's just say it was a friend who dispersed this out to the masses, how in the hell did he know where to get it? Did you have him over for dinner and say, "Hey, wanna see our wedding video? Here's me getting ready...here's us at the altar exchanging our vows....here's his best man giving his speech at the reception......then here's me taking it like a champion two hours later. Now, don't show this to ANYONE. We'll be reeeeeealllly upset. In case you're wondering, we keep the video under the VCR." Idiots.
-Secondly, even if the ridiculousness (yes, I understand that isn't a word) of this friend getting a hold of the tape is true, how can you still consider calling the guy a "friend"? And wouldn't you make sure by all means necessary that the tape was never out of your eyesight for more than seven seconds? Who makes a sex tape of themselves and leaves it hanging around the house for "friends" to get a hold of?
-And I'm not much into laws regarding the internet, but if someone takes a tape from your home, throws it up on the internet without your knowledge and charges people to see it, uhhhhh, can't you stop that from happening? I mean, you've got to have some rights, don't you? Whatever. This all seems very fishy to me. Very, very bizarre. Par for the course in reality world, though.
-On “Ultimate Love Test”, Kenesha and Brandon couldn’t make it a whole month to get their $100,000 check. Hell, they couldn’t make it two days. And according to producers, they’ve since broken up. That’s gotta be a tough one. Especially for Brandon. He seemed so ready to settle down with the right woman and be committed forever. He must be devastated at this turn of events. Isn’t it funny how the guy says nothing would’ve happened with Brooke and he didn’t try to ever kiss her, yet every clip is of him trying to kiss her? Are guys really that stupid, or is it just me? What a clown.
-Things don’t look to bright for Amber and Diego. She seems to want to take a bite out of the Roy, and her friend who came to visit even encouraged it. That’s a good friend. “Hey, your boyfriend back home misses you, but I think this guy would be much better for you.” How can they not even tell us where Roy is from or what his plans are after the show? And how many years in the hole do you get for killing a man with your bare hands? Diego seems to have anger control problems. Probably has nothing to do with the steroid cycle he’s on.
-Urkel and his significant other might as well just call it quits now. But then again, their relationship is equivalent to the tree falling in the forest theory, you know? I mean, if Jayre and Carolyn break up, will anyone actually care? Didn’t think so.
-I can’t even remember the other couples name. The band chick and Rick Ocasik, that’s it. He suffers from OCD, and she seems to want C.R. back. And if someone could help me out with what C.R. stands for, I’d be very appreciative. Please. It’s killing me. This couple sucks too. When is this show over?
-“Who Wants to Marry My Dad?” is getting quite interesting. First off, I did a little research on our family here, and here’s what I came up with. Daddy Botox is 47 years old, a native of Minnesota, and lives in Colorado in sales and distribution for Frito Lay. He packages those corn chips? Anyway, obviously this house they’re living in isn’t theirs since this filming really doesn’t look like it’s being done anywhere close to Colorado.
-Marty Face-lift said he auditioned for the show after hearing about it on the radio and that his daughters, as well as his ex-wife, were very supportive of him. Well that’s good. I’m glad to hear that. I’m guessing none of the daughters have any interest in television or modeling either. No way.
-I did some math and came out with something pretty ineteresting. Mr. 47-year-old-with-no-wrinkles Okland has three daughters ages 28, 27, and 25. It says he got married at age 18. Whoa, pops. Easy there. So he popped out kids when he was 19, 20, and 22 years old. Geez. Keep it in your pants’, smokey.
-Marty Bot-okland enjoys “dancing, landscaping, playing golf, hiking, horseback riding, playing poker, and travelling”. Just once I’d like one of these profiles to read, “he likes going to the circus, reading books about vampires, eating McDonald’s four times a week, has no interest in ever working out, and doesn’t like socializing with others.” Just once.
-Daughter Nicole, the one who looks like Marty, is the oldest at age 28. Graduated from the University of Hawaii with a degree in Family Studies. After college, she “worked in sales for Estee Lauder for two years before you recently changing direction to work in real estate. Translation: After two uneventful years working behind the counter at Bloomingdale’s spraying other women’s wrists with perfume, she decided to shift careers and do what most women looking for work in real estate do- she became a loan processor.
-Daughter Jennifer, the one who looks like Marty, is the middle sister at age 27. She received her degree in Psychology from Colorado State University in 1999. She currently “lives in San Diego and works as an assistant manager for a 400-unit apartment community”. Translation: Any and all complaints about the plumbing in your apartment, drop Jennifer a line and she’ll take care of it immediately with that Psychology degree of hers.
-And finally daughter Brooke, the one who looks like Marty, is the youngest sister at age 25. She received her degree in Behavioral Science from Metropolitan State College of Denver, with a focus in pychology. She currently “works as a training coordinator for Rock Bottom Restaurants, Inc, where she has worked for six years”. Translation: Please fill out your waiter/waitress application and give it Brooke on your way out the door and she’ll take of it with her Behavioral Science degree.
-Just like last season, I have the same feeling regarding this show, and that’s this: Old people making out gives me the creeps. Oh, I’ll definitely watch. I’ll just be a little uncomfortable at times. And if botox hasn’t taken out 5 minutes worth of commercial time during this show, something’s seriously wrong. I want to see them scour the rooms of these ladies and find out how many cc’s are injected into these faces on a daily basis. Please. Someone get me that info.
-How can they not dump the chick who admitted to not wanting to marry an older man with children? Ummmm….isn’t that what the show’s for? And what was with those ridiculous subliminal messages she was giving him? Did she actually think that would work? That was the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen.
-I have a feeling Marty B. will be choosing either one of the three women (pardon me for not being up-to-date on these chicks names): the one he kissed first, the one he was on the hammock with, and the one he was by the fireplace with. I know that doesn’t do anyone any good, but if you want to know the names, just go back and watch.
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