Reality Steve

The Bachelor 13 - Jason

No Column This Week

I’m sorry. I’m actually in New Orleans right now on a hotel computer, I was 3/4 of the way finished with this weeks column when the computer froze. I had been saving my material every 5 minutes just so this wouldn’t happen, but when I got the computer working again, I went into my homepage, and for whatever reason, it had saved the first 3 paragraphs and that’s it. You have no idea how livid I am. I’m on a time crunch now so writing this column any time today is not a possibility. And I highly doubt I’m going to want to re-write the 8 pages that I just wrote. So, for the first time in almost 7 years of doing this column, there will be no Bachelor recap this week. It will return next week, unless for some reason, I’m able to retrieve it, but I’ve done everything. Looks like it’s gone. Sorry for the inconvenience. For all those who want to send your hate mail, address it to the Westin on Canal St in New Orleans. They’re the ones whose computers are screwy. Boooooooooooo



  1. LM

    January 13, 2009 at 1:38 PM

    Bummer! I was looking for your commentary on my favorite part this week – which was when Gillian got the date and everyone’s all jealous and Lauren is like “I have no idea how she could have gotten ready so quickly. I never could have gotten ready so fast. I would have had to wear my hear curly. That would have been awful. I would have hated it. I would have had to wear it in a ponytail. Yeah, that would have sucked. Oh my god. I would have hated it.” I watched and rewound that like three times. Classic. What an idiot.

  2. Dianne

    January 13, 2009 at 1:39 PM

    Not to worry Steve..thanks for letting everyone know. We can always go to Chris Harrison’s page (not as good as your re-cap, but not bad) for this week.

    Have fun in New Orleans!

  3. Tiger Lilley

    January 13, 2009 at 1:48 PM

    Darn!! Stupid computers — will miss your column.

    Jason is a really, really sweet guy, but, but, but…does anybody think he’s also maybe a bit of a pansy???? Sorry!

  4. Nicole

    January 13, 2009 at 1:52 PM

    Big. Deep. Breath! It’s OK, we’ll still be here! πŸ™‚

  5. hollyglightly123

    January 13, 2009 at 2:35 PM

    That is a sincere shame considering how that episode was WROUGHT with great material.

    The editing: when the camera scanned & lingered over Nikki’s watermelons almost spilling out of her dress as Jason says “You have such great qualities. And they’re so obvious.”

    Molly’s incessant need to kiss him, and measure how it was longer than the other girl’s (I may be mixing up girls here).

    Lauren’s psycho freak out over Megan. “I’m disappointed in you.”

    Stephanie’s AWKWARD position standing and waiting for Natalie to stop talking and acknowledge her while she hovered over Jason.

    Raquel saying she fell in love and had her heart broken (Seriously? 2 episodes?)

    Oh I could go on.

  6. Janice

    January 13, 2009 at 2:36 PM

    O bummer!!! i was SO waiting to hear you tear apart the group date….the t-shirt/vest combo, the ‘break dancing’, synchronize swimming and hidden talent….ODL!!!!!!!

  7. Kat

    January 13, 2009 at 2:50 PM

    Yes I do feel he is a bit of a pansy :-)… I was saying the same thing to my husband last night while we watched it.. he’s still very nice though.

    And oh I really wanted to see what you had to say about Stephanie making those drinks and standing there WAITING when most girls would have just interrupted… I mean jeez she’s gonna need some cojones if she hopes to last long.. that was pathetic and I felt really bad that she had to go back and drink her drinks herself.. that was painful to watch.

  8. Anonymous

    January 13, 2009 at 2:50 PM

    Don’t forget Raquel going on about being so in love that if she died the guy would never remarry. LOL. What a freak.

    And yeah….Nikki’s “great assets” were on full view. I can’t tell which of these whack jobs he ends up with. They all seem unstable.

  9. Janice

    January 13, 2009 at 2:54 PM

    and Raquel’s “I want to be loved to death….so that if I die he couldn’t imagine loving someone else” (I know…not exact quote but you all know what I am talking about)

  10. Courtney

    January 13, 2009 at 3:25 PM

    I’m sooooo bummed!!! I’ve been checking all day for an update. I was dying to hear your comments about last night–especially the part when Nikki was talking about her best qualities and the camera panned to her chest! Anyway, you’re in my neck of the woods (good ole NOLA), so go to the French Quarter, have a few Hurricanes, and you’ll feel better in no time.

  11. M

    January 13, 2009 at 3:47 PM

    How will we live through the week without your wonderful summaries? I needed my shot of sarcasm……

  12. Pam

    January 13, 2009 at 3:53 PM

    I laughed and laughed about nikki’s ‘assests’! I just knew that Steve would have the funniest stuff to say about that. We were sitting there going ‘look at her eyes Jason, nope, back up again Jason’ it was sooooo funny! And that Raquel girl, dang she was scary! Their conversation in the limo was just short of hysterical. He couldn’t figure out what to say to her and she just kept on with the word vomit. Priceless stuff! Wow, who does anyone think could possibly be the frontrunner? Would love to hear a few ideas. Melissa and Nikki are who I think for now — but who knows they are all pretty crazy!

  13. Ellie

    January 13, 2009 at 4:01 PM


  14. anon

    January 13, 2009 at 4:13 PM

    Sorry about your computer, Steve.

    Did anyone else think the kiss between him and Melissa (I think that was her name, on the blimp?) was really nice. None of the Bachelors ever know how to kiss, but that looked really good. Slow and easy, but intense at the same time. Usually we are subjected to an entire season where the Bachelor tries to eat some poor girls face off.

    The only girl I liked got kicked off last night. The tall thin teacher with blonde hair. She was elegant, at least. Too bad.

  15. Maria

    January 13, 2009 at 4:26 PM

    Ahhhh! Steve, we miss you. I hate when the computer dumps everything.

    Best moment in Bachelor history:

    Jason: (to Nikki) Everyone has such unique qualities (camera zooms in on her double D’s) and you’ve got amazing qualities (pause) and they’re obvious. LMAO (Jason, next time use both your hands to illustrate that point). Jason a pansy? I think not. He’s super freaky.

    FYI to Nikki. The girl who tries to warn the guy about all the other women and says no matter what happens she wants to be friends is lying and never wins.

    Erika is a total bitch.
    I’m beginning to feel sorry for Megan.
    Molly and Lauren are both too high maintenance.
    Melissa and Jillian are probably top two.
    I think Jillian probably falls into the perfect but no chemistry category.
    Melissa in a 7 year relationship and hasn’t had a date in three years? Uh-huh. Usually the translation on that one is she did the whole team.
    Natalie should be on Paris Hilton’s BFF.
    Shannon should ask her dentist office for an orthodontic referral.
    Bet Stephanie finds a rich old southern gentleman.

    That’s my take but I miss Steve’s wit and insight.

  16. ginny

    January 13, 2009 at 4:43 PM

    seriously, the bit about lauren and the hair was the best material we have seen yet. oh, we will forgive you, but miss you this week!

  17. Melonie

    January 13, 2009 at 4:57 PM

    She DDDOES has amazing qualities.
    What was up with Erica unless the editing was against her, she did completely change her tone. If it happened the way it was shown good for Megan. I hate it when they do the editing like that. I mean to find out that Jason was kneeling for about 5 minutes in front of Deanna and they showed less than 20 seconds makes a difference. What a BYOTCH

    DId anyone think that the blonde girl who left last night has a cat like features (maybe more mouse)

    I liked the part where was it Erica who got the quick peck and then actually asked to French kiss. (uncomfortable moment)

  18. Anonymous

    January 13, 2009 at 7:25 PM

    Bummer! I had been waiting all day to read your recap, I just KNEW you were going to have something good to say about Nikki’s “assets”. But don’t worry, you won’t get any hate email, we all understand. Until next week.

  19. Shirley

    January 13, 2009 at 10:26 PM

    Damn you computer! I was looking forward to your column this weekend, RS.

  20. Jan Wodehouse

    January 13, 2009 at 10:59 PM

    You have a lot of fans, Steve….I think I will write in and ask them to
    get you to be the next Bachelor!!!!!!! Now that would be a trip. Jason has his little boy, and you have Maddie!!!! JW

  21. Silky

    January 13, 2009 at 11:41 PM

    Westin???…… schnazzy! Enjoy your Heavenly Bed. Look forward to next week’s recap. XO

  22. Geminigal

    January 14, 2009 at 12:03 AM

    Sorry to miss your great recap this week. It is truly hilarious. Just wanted to ask how your my space campaign is going. Best of luck with that Steve. I joined before the 100 mark but haven’t checked back lately.

  23. Geminigal

    January 14, 2009 at 12:14 AM

    My bad – I meant Facebook on previous post.

  24. Wendy

    January 14, 2009 at 2:52 AM

    Oh Steve, a stab of sadness has been felt tonight. I’ve been saving to read “the best for last” Bachelor blogging (yours of course πŸ™‚ ) and sooooooo disheartened to see it isn’t possible for this week. I am sorry that it got lost, although completely understand. It’s only extra painful (lol) due to so much ‘amazing’ material you would have been able to add your hilarious commentary to from this week’s episode. Looking forward to next week.

    As for the comments above, thank you for the laughs, you’ve covered them very nicely fellow posters. πŸ™‚

  25. Kelly

    January 14, 2009 at 9:46 AM

    What about that Erica that said her last relationship ended in cheating because her boyfriend was with a 52 year old?? How appropriate was that after how she acted at the rose ceremony. She looks like a man that got punched in the face a few times.

    I am not a huge Megan fan, but I loved when Erica was like “that’s why everyone voted you out last week” and Megan was like “You came in SECOND!” Erica goes “Probably because I was a threat, not because they didn’t like me.” Sure, Erica, sure. 52 is all I have to say.

  26. Nicole

    January 14, 2009 at 12:33 PM

    Does it bother anyone else that Stephanie has so much Botox in her forehead that her expression never changes!?! And I LMAO
    during the previews for next week and they surprise her with a visit from her daughter…Jason and her are on the beach, her daughter comes running up to them…and I swear to God she clothes lines the poor brat! I feel for what she has been thru….but I don’t see her with Jason. My pick is either Jillian or what’s-her-name-second-date-cheerleader-chick.

  27. Anonymous

    January 14, 2009 at 12:35 PM

    Steve, next time……why not just start writing the article in a word doc and cut and paste it over next time. that way you won’t have to worry abou the internet or whatever crapola freezing up…ever …even from home.


    January 14, 2009 at 12:48 PM

    So THAT’S what happened????? I kept checking in every hour or so but then gave up. Sorry for your problems but hey – it’s great that youre in NOLA!!! ENJOY
    We’ll be here waiting for you next week.

  29. hey-no-running

    January 14, 2009 at 5:58 PM

    I’m sorry that we will miss your quick wit and captivating presence this week. Previous posters, thanks for filling in. You made me smile. Steve, I will wait all week to see what you say about next week’s episode.
    I hope Maddie is being taken care of in the manner to which she’s become accustomed.
    And Steve, how about watching True Beauty and commenting on that? Those people’s egos don’t even fit in that hotel suite.

  30. sally

    January 14, 2009 at 7:01 PM

    tiger – you are NOT alone in thinking jason is a pansy. he’s also boring. what’s with the printed t-shirt and vest look? is that back in style?

    nicole – ha. i agree that stephanie and kid need to perfect that slo-mo run into each other’s arms act. who in real life does that?

  31. jane

    January 14, 2009 at 7:33 PM

    has anyone mentioned Overbite, and how many times she told jason he “was so cute!!!”?

  32. hey-no-running

    January 14, 2009 at 8:12 PM

    Oh, Jane, Overbite drives me up the wall. She reminds me of the ugly woman on hee haw who wore her hair in pigtails.

  33. Katherine

    January 15, 2009 at 11:25 AM

    That’s too bad about the computer! Like # 1, I was really looking forward to your commentary on the girl who commented on Gillian’s date. High maintainance, much?

  34. Shawna

    January 16, 2009 at 12:24 PM

    Dear Steve-
    You are quite hilarious. You remind me of Augusten Burrough, but funnier and less crude. I have this feeling you are really a woman though. I don’t know why. Do you have a real job? I just found out about your blog and I am completely obsessed.

  35. Peaches

    January 20, 2009 at 6:07 AM

    I missed last week’s Bachelor. Was Deanna on last week’s episode? I’ve read several recaps from other sites, but there’s no mention of her showing up.

  36. missy

    January 20, 2009 at 4:03 PM

    Peaches ~ no DeAnna yet. And they haven’t shown her in the previews the last two weeks either.

    Steve ~ I’ve been wondering how I happened to miss your blog last week. And I have to agree with 29 (hey-no-running) ~ you should blog about True Beauty, too. πŸ˜€ Then I could look forward to the snarky comments for that show, as well. πŸ™‚

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