Let’s see, I’m on a plane first thing in the morning to California, so, there’s a good chance Friday’s “Reality Roundup” could get pushed back. Although, maybe not. I’ve got most of it written, I just don’t know with my schedule if I’ll have time to do it tonight or Thursday night. We’ll see. If its here on Friday, then I did. If not, don’t kill me. I will honestly do my best. But with not having seen my niece and nephew since Christmas, I might get a little busy chasing them around for a few days. Well, that and the fact that the Dog Spa where I board Maddie now has a webcam in the playroom so I can check in on her throughout the day. I found myself watching her today for about a half hour straight after I dropped her off, so, if I can pull it up on my phone, I’m sure I’ll be doing that the next couple days as well. Funny to see all the dogs run and chase her around and try to sniff her butt while she pretty much does her own thing. Wouldn’t expect anything different from my girl.
Couple things of note regarding “Idol” before getting to the performances. Has David Spade’s career sunk to the level that now he’s in the Idol audience? Yikes. It’s not like he’s doing any cross promotion since his show is on CBS. Very surprised to see that. Shouldn’t he be trying to get in Heather Locklears pants or something? Talk about bizarre. What in the world did she ever see in him? Oh right, they’re just good “friends”. Let me tell you something. David Spade is friends with Heather Locklear for one reason and one reason only and that’s to be the rebound guy when Dr. Peter Burns dumps her, or, after Richie dumped her. No guy wants a woman friend that hot if he doesn’t think there’s any chance he’ll get some action from her. Then again, Spade might be gay which would make everything a moot point.
Didn’t you love the little piece of Seacrest bringing all the kiddies up to his “Americas Top 40 Studio”? Gee, that wasn’t much of a plug for Seacrest’s gig now, was it? Nahhhh, of course not. I don’t think he could’ve tooted his own horn any louder if he tried. That segment was nothing but a, “Hey, even though the economy is in the crapper, check out one of the nine jobs that I have which pays me a gazillion dollars while the economy is in the dumper! Look at me press all the buttons and read from my script written out for me by other writers!” Enough Seacrest. We know you’re popular, we know you’re a workaholic, and we know you make over $25 million a year. Quit rubbing it in our face.
For a show that was seemingly going to give us a lot of contemporary songs, I was a little disappointed overall in last nights show. Not to sound like the judges, but man, I don’t get where some of these kids’ heads are at when it comes to song choice. Brutal. And of the nine songs performed, I think two of them were upbeat. Seemed like everything was a ballad, or something slow, or something boring. I had high hopes for this week especially after a few of them butchered Motown. Uhhhh, kind of a letdown really. I think once again, it’s pretty easy to see who could be in the bottom two or three and who’s probably going home. Although, I’m gonna try my damndest to keep her out of there. On to last nights performances.
Anoop Desai, “Caught Up”: Totally annoyed by this performance and by him now. Look dude, I hate to say it, but you’re not black. Obviously, during Michael Jackson week he had no choice, but singing Bobby Brown during Hollywood week and Week 1 of the finals, then coming with an Usher song? C’mon. Just cuz’ Randy calls you his dog doesn’t mean you have to start pretending you’re one. You know the best way to describe Anoop? He’s not nearly as cool as he thinks he is. He’s actually much better singing a slow ballad. But these up-tempo, R&B songs where he tries act all hard, and puff out the chest, and try to act “hip” comes across as so corny and wannabe-ish. Simon and Randy nailed it. He’s a wannabe at this point. He tries so hard to be a performer when it’s obvious he’s not in the least bit.
Megan Joy, “Turn Your Lights Down Low”: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. I thought this would be her week to finally not be crappy. Guess I was wrong. She had way too much jewelry on that kept clinging every time she moved, the song wasn’t recognizable, and it seemed like she repeated the same phrase over and over, “I wanna give you some good lovin'”. Oh I bet you do sweetcakes. Right back at ya’. But for this performance, you get a “D”.
However, the good stuff came afterwards. So two contestants in and Kara gives her, “Here’s the thing. You knowâ€¦” Until someone in the audience blurts out, “Broken record!” Ha ha. Genius. No, that wasn’t me. Man, how defensive did Kara get after that? She was PISSED you could tell, but tried not to show it. Funny moment though.
Another reason why I don’t like Paula and find her useless: It’s like she doesn’t think about anything she wants to say until one second before she speaks. Isn’t she forming opinions about these performances while they’re happening? Why does it take her forever to spit out the garbage that she does? The minute it’s Simons turn, he knows exactly what he’s going to say, he says it quickly, and he says it succinctly so there’s no doubt in your mind you know how he felt. Paula is the complete opposite and I think that’s what gets on Simons nerves the most. Among other things. Like her being half blitzed all the time.
Danny Gokey, “What Hurts the Most”: I said it last week and I’ll say it again, Danny is so much better when he’s singing slower ballads that build toward a huge chorus. This “P.Y.T.” and “Get Ready” stuff the last two weeks are fun, the audience gets into it, it shows a different side, but its not his strength. Let’s be real, the guy is a singer at his church. So he’s good when he’s singing something inspirational or moving, since that’s what he’s used to. By no means were the last two weeks ever going to get him eliminated, but, they weren’t that great of performances. This type of stuff is what he excels at, and when he puts out an album, 80% of the songs will be more ballad-y than pop-y. Yes, I just made up those words. I don’t think he’s gonna put out a pop album, but I also don’t think he’s going to do some Christain album either. He could easily put out an album of cover songs (hey, Clay Aiken did it), and include “Kiss From a Rose”, “Hero”, and this song and already he’s got a third of the album done.
Allison Iraheta, “Don’t Speak”: Blech. Didn’t care for this one at all. The judges harped on the outfit, I didn’t really care about that. I hated her hair. Way too distracting, and too much like she was creating a video at her High School Grad Night where you get to put on whatever costume you want and some stupid wig. Ummmm, here’s a Reality Steve fact for you. Haven’t had one of these in a while. At my High School Grad Night, me and two of my friends did a karaoke video to “Me So Horny”. Wow. I must say, a rather impressive performance. I was the lead singer and I believe at one point I may have started humping the keyboard because I had no idea what else to do. Safe to say very few people have ever seen that video and I’m gonna keep it that way.
Scott MacIntyre, “Just the Way You Are”: I didn’t even need to see the performance to know it was gonna be good. The minute Scott told us in his video what he’d be singing, you just knew this was up his alley. Song choice, dog. See? I could be a judge. When Anoop chooses “Caught Up”, you knew it would be cheesy and probably suck. When Scott chose this, you just knew it’d be solid. Is he the best singer in the group? No. Is he in the top three? No. But he’s likable, he’s entertaining behind a piano, and he’s got a great story. Definitely bought himself another week with that performance I believe. And after doing this performance where it was just his voice and the piano, I realized how much better Scott sounds without background music and vocals drowning him out. He should do his own thing every week.
Matt Giraud, “You Found Me”: Currently one of my favorite songs since they played it at the end of one of my favorite “Smallville” episodes. When I heard he was singing it, I thought it’d be perfect for him. This was the only performance tonight that I re-watched because I didn’t agree with the judges at all on this one. In fact, I watched it four times. I thought he’d been better in past performances, but they made it sound like he was awful tonight and I didn’t think that at all. Something tells me the judges had never heard of this song before so they didn’t know what to think. I liked it. Didn’t blow the roof off the place, but it was a hell of a lot better than they gave him credit for. I do somewhat agree with the one criticism that he didn’t do anything with the song. He basically sang it like “The Fray” does which, if you like the song, was fine. But no, there was no originality to it. I guess tonight he didn’t show us “What kind of artist do you want to be? Who are you?”
Lil Rounds, “I Surrender”: A boring ballad that I didn’t care for. Plus, I have one rule when I watch “American Idol” and that is, I pretty much hate every performance where someone tries to sing Celine Dion. Never works since it’s never as good as the original and they try way too hard. Plus, I hated Lil’ Rounds look tonight. Way too old for me. I know she’s married and has three kids, but she came across way too motherly in that performance. Very bland, nothing all that great about it, and she could be in trouble.
Adam Lambert, “Play that Funky Music”: When he sang “Black or White”, I didn’t mind when he went into his famous Axl Rose scream. Tonight? I got kind of annoyed. It seemed like he did it waaaaay too much. Now, when I first heard he was singing this song, I was like, “Oh boy. There isn’t a more played out wedding song than this. This could be a disaster.” So I at least give him points for originality and “making it his own”, but it was an OK performance for me. I think one thing that made it stand out was that it was a song which could get people up off their feet and moving and dancing around, as opposed to seven performances before it where you really couldn’t. So the energy he brought definitely helped. I just wasn’t too crazy about it. Too much screaming this time for me.
Kris Allen, “Ain’t No Sunshine”: Haven’t you noticed that the performance that usually closes out the night is most of the time the best one? It’s obviously planned that way. They’ve been doing that for quite a few seasons. With a week to rehearse, they obviously know what these kids are gonna sing so they have a way of always ending on a good note. Tonight was no different. Best originality, great vocals, and he gave us something he hadn’t given us before, which was him behind the keyboard. And when they announced he was doing that song I thought again, “Damn, another slow, boring ballad.” But the way he changed it up, it served him well to make it sound contemporary and not like you should be listening to it on an old 45 record. He was excellent tonight.
Reality Steve’s Top 3 Performances:
1. Kris Allen
2. Danny Gokey
3. Scott MacIntyre
Reality Steve’s Bottom 3 Performances:
1. Megan Joy
2. Anoop Desai
3. Lil Rounds
Reality Steve’s Bottom 3 Prediction:
1. Megan Joy
2. Allison Iraheta
3. Anoop Desai
Reality Steve’s Prediction of Who Will Get Eliminated: Megan Joy. I think this is the week she leaves. She’s had three bad weeks in a row and I just don’t think she can survive this one. Anoop still has his fan base of teen girls, and Allison has the younger vote too. I just don’t know where Megan’s fans are coming from this week.
For the record, I have never voted on this show in eight seasons watching. In fact, you know the only show I’ve ever voted on in all my years of watching reality TV? “Last Comic Standing” season 2. I voted every week on that season for some reason and haven’t voted since. Very weird, I know. Don’t ask why either cuz I don’t really have an answer. Anyway, check back on Friday to see if I was able to pull away from watching Maddie on a webcam to write. Any questions, comments, emails, praises, criticisms, questions/concerns/queries for the next mailbag, send them all to firstname.lastname@example.org. As for the “Comments” section on the website, I know it’s frustrating, but I’m working on it. We’re still tinkering with the site, but I think we may have found a solution. They should be working soon, so bear with us. Take care.