-I wanted to let everyone know right off the bat that I am aware of the slow loading process that the website sometimes has, as well as the comments section. I’ve looked into everything and still can’t figure out the problem, so, just bear with it the rest of this season, and by next season, we are going to go with a new layout for the site. If you bring up the page, and it doesn’t load, just wait. Sometimes it takes ten seconds, sometimes thirty, or sometimes a minute. But it’s always working very shortly thereafter. As for the comments section, same thing. Sometimes it loads immediately when you click on it, and sometimes it takes a while. If you’re hell bent on commenting, then wait it out, or refresh and try again later. So yes, I am aware of the slow loading of the site at times but I don’t want to fix it mid season since it’ll be down for long periods of time. I’d rather just deal with it once this seasons over. In the meantime, enjoy what we have now because it won’t be around much longer.
-The merchandise store seems to be a success at this point. If you haven’t purchased anything yet, check it out at:
If you and your friends are thinking of purchasing items, email me and I can help you with saving a few dollars. Keep the orders coming and get your pictures in so we can get them up on the site.
-Before we get started, let me first give you my first bit of information I found out about this season that is 100% true. I’ve heard plenty of rumors and innuendo, but finally something has come to the forefront that shows once again how well engineered this show is. Not surprising to hear this, but still, par for the course for ABC. As we all remember in the first episode, when David exited the limo, he stood in front of Jillian for a good ten seconds in complete silence. In episodes since, the guy has been anything BUT silent, and has come across as a drunken lunatic. Yet on the first episode, he said he couldn’t think of anything to say, Jillian liked that approach and gave him the first impression rose for it. Well, I have found out in recent days, confirmed to me by three independent sources, that Dave was told on the night of the meet-and-greet to pretend he was nervous. In addition, the scene where he is speechless in front of Jillian was also re-shot THREE times because he kept laughing every time he did it. Like I said, not surprising to hear it, but it all plays in to “roles” that are created for each guy. So it’s very tough to take any edit of Dave from here on out seriously, because it seems like they just decided to have fun with him. However, us as viewers can only go with what they show us, so that’s what I’ll comment on. But if the first impression rose was staged this season, exactly what are we supposed to think about the rest of this nonsense?
-It’d be one thing if they told Dave to act speechless, and not say a word, and never told Jillian about this. Still it’d be wrong, but at least Jillian would be clueless. But the fact that the scene was re-shot three different times because he couldn’t get through the first two takes without laughing means Jillian knew all about what was happening, and giving him the first impression rose because she liked “his approach” was complete B.S. Hey, I don’t think I’m breaking any earth shattering news here by telling you portions of the show are “scripted”, I just wanted to point out a scene in particular that was. The fact that ever since the first night Dave has been made out to be a complete bully who can’t hold his liquor and would like nothing better than to string Juan up by his nuts David Carradine-style, makes me even more interested to hear what Dave admits to now that he’s been eliminated. Nice legacy Carradine left behind, huh? Great character actor and liked wearing fishnet stockings and getting off while suffocating himself. Outstanding. Hope that last orgasm was worth it, buddy. On to last night.
-Host Chris, for the 3rd episode in a row, starts off the show by telling us what’s up. Cuz heez da’ shiznit. Sorry. Trying to act like Michael the screaming breakdancer who likes talking with his rap hands. Is it possible for him to speak A) at a volume lower than 10, or B) without moving his hands around like he’s hosting “Yo! MTV Raps”? Just asking. Anyway, Chris tells us there’ll be a group date, a 1-on-1 date, and a 2-on-1 date. But since we all know what happens on the group and 1-on-1, “lets talk about this other date.” Yes Chris, lets do that. Since we’ve never seen this before in the history of the show. Well, except in the last about seven editions this show has produced. Do the guys really not know what happens on the 2-on-1 date? Pretty simple. One guy gets a rose, one guy doesn’t. What ‘tard hasn’t figured that one out yet? Are they thinking it’s gonna be a menage a tois? Maybe they think 2-on-1 means she likes both of them so much, they’re both getting roses and are just out for a jolly good time that night. Sometimes this show really thinks its viewing audience is stupid. I mean, really stupid.
-Host Chris also tells them they’re leaving the mansion for good and headed to Vancouver, Jillians hometown. Although, I thought her hometown was Alberta. Hell, what do I know? Ok, so her bio says she’s a native of Alberta, but currently resides in Vancouver. I guess it all depends on your definition of “hometown”. I pretty much spent my whole life in Orange County, Ca. Now I’m living outside of Dallas. I certainly would never say my hometown is Dallas. My hometown is Orange County. I currently live in Dallas. But whatever. The show can BS us all they want. It’s a minor technicality compared to re-shooting Dave’s opening limo scene. What a joke. Jillian is so proud that her “hometown” is the site of the 2010 Winter Olympic Games. I would expect someone from Canada to be excited about that since, well, they can watch their national hockey team take 4th place again. Maybe Janet Gretzky can light the torch during the opening ceremonies. If she does, can I get some action in on that? What are her odds in Vegas? I liked Wayne in the “Waikiki Hockey” sketch when he hosted “SNL” in 1989. Funny stuff. Gambling addict wife? Not so funny.
-Kiptyn gets the solo date on the night and is pretty excited. See, he and Jake are having a little pow-wow and are so thrilled because they think Jillian is different than the other bachelorettes. Jake: “For the first time in my life, it seems like a girl is looking for the nice guy. I don’t understand the ones who chase the bad boys.” Wow. Jake and I actually have something in common besides both living in Texas. We both don’t understand the “bad boy” phenomenon. Look, I know women have their phases with it, I just don’t understand it. And never will. That’s because I’m the nicest guy on the planet and look where that’s gotten me. Ha ha. I’m kidding. I’m in a good place right now, so I ain’t complaining. Anyway, I’ll get off the “woe is me” card right now and get back to the task at hand. And that’s Jake the pilot who loves the fact Jillian likes nice guys. Uhhhh, Jake’s in for a rude awakening. Looks like he’s headed down a road all too familiar for the “nice” guys, and we all know what that is. It’s called the “Friend Zone”. And Jake isn’t too far away from being thrown in. Bump-bump-buuuuuummmmm.
-So Kiptyn and Jillians date made me nauseous I must admit. Why, you ask? Because every freakin’ sentence out of their mouth was a compliment about the other person. Immediately when he meets up with her, they run into each others arms (the running when meeting someone needs to stop. Act like you’ve been there before guys), and he tells her, “You look beautiful”. Nice compliment. No harm in that. The only problem was she was in jeans, an oversized raincoat, and a scarf. Beautiful? Really? So when she’s all decked out and dressed up in her 5 inch heels and sparkly backless dress and you tell her she looks beautiful again, doesn’t it lose its luster a bit? Ease up pal on tossing word beautiful around. The law of diminishing returns will set in rather shortly if you keep it up.
-Immediately these two get in a kayak so they can head over to the market and buy some food for the night. Jillian wants to find some homemade tortellini so she can make it with her special sauce. Uh huh. I say Kiptyn’s special sauce will work out just fine on your tortellini. I’m so immature at times, it’s frightening. Really. So after these two go to the market, this little piggy had roast beef, and this little piggy had none. Ok, somethings come over me tonight and I don’t know what, but I’m delirious right now. Maybe cuz’ I’m tired. I’ll try and fight through it, but I can’t promise anything. So Jillian and Kiptyn sit on a park bench and talk about charity work. Kiptyn does some work with kids, and Jillian chimes in she’s put in work with the Big Brothers/Big Sisters Organization. Hey Canadians, want me to say something nice about Jillian? Ok, I will. Very cool she did work for Big Bros/Big Sis because I was involved with the program myself for five years. Still keep in touch with my “little brother” to this day. So at least Jillian has one redeeming quality about her I can appreciate.
-Kiptyn: “Jillian and I have the beginnings to a relationship of people who are best friends.” I’m glad he was able to tell this by a kayak across the river, shopping at the market, talking charity work, and feeding the pigeons. Why not just propose now since everything you guys say to each other at this point seems to impress the other one. Jillian could say right now, “Hey, I have horrible gas every morning and usually go days without brushing my teeth” and you know what Kiptyn’s response would probably be? “Really? Me too!” This love affair is almost too much too soon. They’re convinced that this is real between them because they’re not on an extravagant date. They’re just chillin’ at Jillians place (well, it’s not really her place as Host Chris explains in his blog today)she’s cooking him dinner. Hey, I’m all for more normal dates since that’s where people get lost and caught up in the fantasy of this show since once you get back to the real world, the days of you taking helicopters over mountains and repelling down sides of buildings on your first date end, and dinner at Olive Garden then to a movie begin. But now these two are a married couple because she’s at home, pregnant and barefoot in the kitchen making a pie. Or something like that.
-The diarrhea of compliments continues. Jillian: “What’s your biggest turn on?” Kiptyn: “Being spontaneous.” Jillian: “Me too! Love that! As for physically, well, you should probably just look in the mirror.” These two are so cute. Like two little cats playing with a ball of string. Just doing the same thing over and over again for hours while the rest of watch bored out of our minds. The outpouring of affection between these two is never a good sign. It’s almost too forced at this point. Now its time for Kippy to get serious. The Kipster lets her know that he’s never really been much of a pursuer. In past relationships, he’s tended to end up with people who come after him. Yeah, I know what you mean pal. It’s tough fending off so many women at a time. Man, what a tough life you and I lead. I just wish we didn’t have so many women approaching us all the time, you know? I’m glad Kiptyn cleared that up for us because what better show to go if you’re not a pursuer than the “Bachelorette”. It’s not like you have to put yourself out there very much at all and force yourself to have time with a woman being pursued by 29 other guys. So if Kiptyn isn’t a pursuer, and this show is essentially all about pursuing, then how in the hell did he end up on this show? Hmmmmmmm, interesting question. Wouldn’t it just be so crazy if Kiptyn was our next “Bachelor”? You know, since he usually ends up with women who come to him. Well, what better show to do that becoming the “Bachelor”? Boy, that would just be perfect for him. Let’s stay tuned for those developments.
-However Kiptyn, after telling us he’s not a pursuer, not explains why he came on this show. Kip: “I was telling myself, ‘You need to do this. You need to go after something.'” Well, either that or someone influenced you to come on the show with a few hundred benjamins in hand. Hey look, I said it a month before the season started, and I’ll say it again. I know that there were two guys approached about coming on the show, both offered $50k and guaranteed at least final four, and both of those guys turned it down. Now, whether or not ABC decided to go after a couple other guys with the same offer, or more money, or less money, I don’t know. Maybe they did, maybe they didn’t. But I know that two individuals were offered money to come on the show and rejected it. It might mean that some of the guys this season were paid, it might not. However, I will say this. If Kiptyn ends up in the final two, doesn’t get picked, and ends up as our next “Bachelor”, I think the writing is on the wall. This show is telling a story, remember that. It’s not that far fetched to think that’s what’s going on here. Time will tell.
-Now its time for the group date with Michael, AA Dave, Wes, Reid, Jesse, Who-ahn, Robby, foot freak Tanner, Jake, and Ed Dean Piven Jr. Once again, Jillian is extremely excited because they will be competing in an “internationally recognized Olympic winter sport. Curling.” Hilarious. Like we would come to expect anything different from a Jillian date than curling. Curling? Really? We have to watch this? Shocking to see a date in Canada is centered around this ridiculous sport. I would’ve much rather preferred chopping down trees or harpooning whales, but I guess this is the best they could come up with. Lets get something straight: Curling isn’t a sport. It’s an activity. It’s a skill. Big difference. Doesn’t mean it’s a sport. Kinda like lawn darts or bochy ball. Sure, not everyone can do it, and some people are really good at it, but that doesn’t make it a sport. I could go on for days debating what’s actually considered a sport or what isn’t, but for the time being, just know curling is lame. Most people don’t give a crap about curling, so my interest in this date was rather minimal. I was just curious to see if Dave was going to crack Juan’s skull on the ice after a victory. Or maybe take one of the curling broomsticks and whack him across the face leaving him in a bloody pile of his own mess.
-Speaking of Who-ahn, he’s really fired up for curling. “Curling requires three things: Flexibility, balance, and touch. And I got all three.” Another important trait that any good curler should have is testosterone. Unfortunately, Who-ahn is lacking in that category. Flexibility, balance, and touch don’t come in handy when you have ovaries and its that time of the month. And considering they never really showed Who-ahn doing anything during this curling event pretty much tells us all we need to know how he fared. They were split up in to teams of five and the winners got to party with Jillian later in the night. The Blue team consisted of Wes, Ed, Reid, Michael, and Tanner. The Red team was the other five d-bags. Let’s talk about Michael for a moment. He’s annoying. Like, Dave-why-don’t-you-use-his-face-as-a-punching-bag-and-leave-Juan-alone annoying. Why does Michael have to yell every sentence? And why is he doing his best Kiptyn impression this date? Michael: “She looked beautiful today. I just wanted to hug her and get some hot chocolate.” Dude, you’re weird. Beautiful again? She was freezing her ass off in a pair of sweats. Hey Eminem, calm down you little twerp. Go show us your 1985 dance moves on the ice and maybe rupture a spleen in the process. That’d be splendid.
-So the Red team won. That’d be Jake, Jesse, David, Robby, and Juan. Yes, Juan and Dave were on the same team and managed not to come to blows. Well, at least from what they showed us they didn’t. Jake is up first to talk to Jillian and boy is he nervous. I don’t know how else to explain what he said to her. In talking about their date that happened a week ago when Martina McBride performed for them, he said, “I had a great time. It was great. Made my year. Made my life.” Jake, you’re a pilot. You’ve probably flown all over the world. You’ve probably been to places that 95% of America has never been to. Now I’m supposed to believe a Martina McBride concert with you wearing ass tight jeans and an awful cowboy shirt made your life? I know you’re trying to get Jillian to remember the one good time you guys had together so far, but don’t go overboard. It’s like you and Kiptyn are sharing the same brain since you’re convinced she’s here looking for the nice guys. Jillian: “You are too perfect.” Jake: “I’m not too perfect.” Well, glad we got that established. Because all along I was thinking, “You know, if there’s one person on this planet who is the perfect person, it’d be Jake. The guy from Denton, Texas who chose to go on the ‘Bachelorette'”. Nauseating, really.
-One guy who could better than any of the rest of them was Jesse. We haven’t seen much of him up to this point, but now Jillian is getting some alone time with him and his Kango hat. He looked like a golf caddy from the 1950’s or LL Cool J. Couldn’t quite figure out what look he was going for. Oh, I got it. It was the “giant tool” look. As Farmer Ted told the dork in “Sixteen Candles”, “Take that ridiculous thing off!” Apparently Jesse isn’t going to listen to me and is going to continue to wear it during his alone time. And apparently he’s drinking some of the Jake/Kiptyn Kool-Aid. Jesse: “You’re one of the greatest girls I’ve ever met.” This is just getting ridiculous. Jillian? Really? One of the greatest human beings ever to walk this planet? What are they slipping into these guys drinks? Jillian: “You are here for a reason, and it’s not out of luck.” She kisses him. And it’s official four episodes in: Jillian is very uncomfortable to watch kissing. For someone who’s as big a mouth whore as she is, she really doesn’t seem to be very good at it. But hey, what do I know? According to Jesse, there isn’t a single woman on the planet who is on par with Jillian Harris. Good Lord.
-Next up was the highlight of the night. Our boy Dave lubed up yet again finally getting Jillian for some alone time. Jillian says her and Dave are kinda on the buddy level going into this, so she wants to see if there’s more. Oh there’s more, sweetcakes. Trust me. Dave is convinced you will be his love slave and will wait on him hand and foot for the rest of your life. But not before he showers you with compliments, although, in a much more vulgar variety than did Kiptyn/Jake/Jesse. Dave: “Today at the curling event, your ass was fantastic. I kept standing behind you looking at it going, ‘Uh huh’. Do you ever look at your ass in the mirror? You’ve got a great ass.” Very subtle, Dave. I can’t imagine why she didn’t drop her panties right there. Wait, it gets worse. Even though she’s completely taken aback by his forwardness, apparently in his eyes, it’s on like Donkey Kong. This guy is going in for the kill. With his psycho eyes approaching, and his tongue already in lizard position, Jillian gives him the ol’ “here, let me turn my head you disgusting pig and kiss my cheek”, ala DeAnna with Chef Robert. Best scene of the season.
-The Incredible Dave does not like this one bit. “I’ve never been turned down for a kiss before. Ever.” I don’t doubt that for a second. Kinda hard when you’re holding them down against their will. So now these two are in a discussion about how women never turn down the Incredible Dave, and as she’s explaining herself to him about not kissing every guy in the house (even though it seems like she has), her top starts to slide down a little bit which does two things to Dave. #1, gives him an erection. #2, assumes this is the go ahead for him to caress her boob as he fixes her shirt for her. Very smooth, buddy. Couldn’t see that one coming from a mile away. And now he’s feeling the need to talk about what he just did. Dave: “You and I are comfortable together. You can talk to me, your tit falls out, it’s no big deal.” Jillian: “Uhhh, it’s my bra.” If this whole scene doesn’t show up on the “Soup” Friday, some intern screwed up. Hell, this should be the “Clip of the Week”. Dave, just because Jillian showed you her training bra doesn’t necessarily give you the right to mount her on national television. I will make a bet with anyone right now that, if it already hasn’t happened, at some point Dave will either get:
a) maced by police officers
b) arrested for public drunkenness
c) arrested for disturbing the peace
d) accused of domestic violence
e) all of the above. On the same night.
I don’t think there’s been a season I was looking more forward to the “Tell All” episode than this season. If Dave isn’t on the hot seat for the full hour, I’ll be pissed. Even Host Chris wants a piece of him. And as we saw later, when you cross Host Chris, there is hell to pay. Hell hath no fury than a scorned Chris Harrison. Did I say that right? Anyway, Jesse and his Kango hat ended up getting the rose.
-We are now in the 2-on-1 date with Mark and Mike. Mike was the dude earlier in the season who put on a speedo and jumped in the ocean. Cheesy. He was also the guy who on opening night, tossed her a baseball that she caught, so he could use the line, “I knew you were a good catch.” Barf. Mark we basically know nothing about at this point other than in the beginning of the episode, he had neck beard. But by the time the date rolled around, someone knocked some sense into him and mentioned he might want to shave that thing off since it looks like he’s been living in the woods for the last five years. And oh yeah, Mark is a Pizza Entrepreneur. Outstanding. I can totally see Jillian ending up with a guy who comes home with pizza dough on his hands after flipping pizzas all day. Is “Pizza Entrepreneur” short for “delivery guy for Dominos”? Just checking. ABC totally missed the boat on this date. Frankly, I don’t think anyone gives a rats ass about these two guys. How can you not have the 2-on-1 date with Dave and Juan? Horrible directing. They should be ashamed of themselves. They’d have television gold on their hands if they’d gone that route. Sure, Dave getting a boner over seeing Jillians bra was good stuff, but nothing like the endless possibilities of a 2-on-1 date with Juan. Just think, there could’ve been a murder and a sexual assault on the same date!
-So the date was to take a helicopter to Grouse Mountain, wherever the hell that is. During the helicopter ride, Mike was definitely the aggressor while Pizza Hut was sitting there twiddling his thumbs. Domino’s tells us he’s his biggest competitor and own worst enemy when it comes to dating. I know. Must be tough. Fending off all the chicks who are all over in your white apron covered in marinara sauce. So Mark the Pizza Geek is making it perfectly clear he isn’t really suited for a 2-on-1 date. However, Mike is in his element. And what is that element? Throwing out every relationship one-liner he could. “I’m at the point in my life to find a woman to spend the rest of the my life with. I would make you happy, care for you, provide for you, etc. This is a big risk, big reward situation.” What’s next Mike? Let me guess, you “work hard, and play hard” as well? Mike couldn’t have come across worse if he tried. In fact, he was trying too hard. He basically was telling her everything he thought she wanted to hear and I’m guessing it came off pretty hollow.
-As for Mark, the head chef at Little Caesar’s, he joins the crowd of millions this season who have enjoyed talking about their past girlfriends. Tells us he had a long distance girlfriend, pretty much got cheated on, was burned by it, and now takes a little bit longer to open up to people. Although, he does say one smart thing, he does question how other guys on the show can say they’re in love after such a short time. You’re preachin’ to the choir buddy. Amen. Now go make me a large pepperoni and garlic pizza with extra cheese. After he whips up Jillian a meatball sub, it’s decision time for her. Does she go with the speedo dork who’s just feeding her lines, or does she consider a life in the fast lane with Luigi over here? Jillian: “This is the hardest date I’ve ever been on in my life.” Well, if you want to convince yourself of that, then sure. But I’m guessing we’ll hear something very similar in the coming weeks. She’s made her decision: She wants a medium Canadian bacon pizza with half anchovies and half onions. Mike, I’m sorry, but take your baseball and speedo and get the f-out. As she sends Mike on his way down the gondola, he says, “If I was a betting man, I’d have put all the money I had on me getting a rose.” Well, good thing you didn’t. I’m sure your ego didn’t take bashing having been beaten out by Domino’s Employee of the Month.
-Since it’s getting late, I’m going to condense the cocktail party a little bit since it all surrounded the question I’ve been more times than I can imagine this season: Which one of these guys has a girlfriend? I will be honest. I don’t know. In fact, I’m more tending to believe that none of these guys do and this is just being thrown out there to create drama. Yes, I understand that Tanner said he knows for a fact that Wes has a girlfriend, but that could easily be in the editing. I am withholding judgment until I see more. The way this show works, and considering the whole final cocktail hour was spent dissecting who does or doesn’t have a girlfriend, makes me think the whole thing was made up. Time will tell, but let’s not just immediately assume someone has a girlfriend because that’s what someone said. We know how manipulative the show can be. Remember when DeAnna had a blow up at the mens BBQ crying, yelling, and screaming at the guys that if they didn’t want to be there, they should just go home? Totally made up. Was all part of the “script” to create drama.
-So Jillian is pissed. Tanner tells her in private that guys aren’t there for the right reasons, and that someone has mentioned having a girlfriend. This causes Jillian to cry for what seems like the 100th time this episode. So instead of talking to all the guys, Jillian is so furious, she decides its time to end the party. Jillian: “I’ve been told some guys aren’t here for the right reasons. I’m very upset. So no more cocktail party. I’ll see you guys at the elimination. I’m taking my ball and going home. I might even suck on my thumb for a while.” So this has all the guys in a tizzy and all the guys look around to see who’s gonna say what. Jillian heads to the deliberation room with steam coming out of her ears. “I don’t even want to cry about it. They don’t deserve my emotion. That’s bullsh**. I want to know who it is and I want them gone. I don’t want to cry.” Funny how you keep telling us you don’t want to cry, yet, that’s all you’re doing. You’re a horrible actress.
-Elimination time. Host Chris comes out like a fire breathing dragon ready to kick some ass. “All right guys. Jillians upset. To hear that some guys might have girlfriends, lets just get it out in the open. If you have something to say, say it now.” Thirteen douchebags then proceed to look around at each other with blanks looks on their faces. Who me? Nope. Not me. You? Nope. Not me. What about you? Not me. On and on this goes until Jake tries to act all hard. Jake: “I’m here to find love in my ripped designer jeans. Be a man and step up.” Jake is a pansy, I’m sorry. Quit being Mr Peacemaker here. Like any of these guys are going to admit it, even if they do have a girlfriend. I get what Jake is trying to do here, being the first one to speak up as he’s thinking it’ll get him a one way ticket under Jillians shirt, but it ain’t happening. Basically, none of the guys speak up, yet people seem to know that Tanner is the one who ran his mouth. Poor Tanner is red as a beet, sweating like a prostitute in church, and about to cry. Why, I have no idea since I wasn’t there. Host Chris gives his explanation in his blog. But basically after weeks of teasing us with, “One of the guys has a girlfriend”, and spending the last 20 minutes talking about it, none of the guys confess to anything and nothing gets resolved. Gee, glad we wasted time on that. Hence the reason I think this was all done for drama’s sake.
-Jillian: “Thanks guys for the discussion. I want to make sure I find who I’m looking for.” Huh? Nothing got resolved, what exactly are you thanking them for? They’re all cowards for basically not saying anything. Tanner is a wuss for not admitting he was the one who ratted someone out, Jillian is equally to blame for not admitting what she knew, and the rest of them are sheep for not answering what fire-breathing Chris Harrison asked them to admit in the first place. That whole scene was ridiculous. On to the roses. Jesse the Kango, Kiptyn the weenie, and Mark your friendly neighborhood pizza boy are already safe with roses.
Reid: Hey, Reid stole my glasses.
Robby: One of the guys who acted pissed he lost out on some Jillian time when she went crying home to mommy because boys were being mean to her.
Ed: Is he going to be on next season of “Grey’s”?
Michael: Yo, yo, yo, what’s the word? Word up.
Wes: Maybe he does have a woman back home.
Jake: Don’t you dare come on this show without the truest intentions. My ripped jeans are so tight right now, it’s cutting off the circulation to my boys.
“Gentleman, Jillian, this is the final rose tonight. When you’re ready. Take your time. I’ll be over here benching 440 and ready to go MMA on these clowns if they don’t step up and be a man.”
Tanner: Of course you gotta keep the Informant around. He’s got all the info.
-So yes, Dave and Juan head home on the same night. Juan basically said nothing good on the way out the door other than he’s a passionate guy, he doesn’t know what happened, and that he doesn’t have a girlfriend back home waiting for him. Maybe not, but notice he didn’t say anything about a boyfriend back home? Ah ha! Busted! As for Dave, totally disappointed in his exit performance. I wanted glasses shattered, fights to break out, and a nice forearm shiver to Juan out the door. Never happened. Dave: “I feel pretty wronged. Jillian made two mistakes. Not telling us who ratted us out and letting me go. She definitely made a mistake. What the f**k, man?” I don’t know Dave, but I can’t wait til you do your conference call with the media this week. I think for the first time I might actually listen in live on one of these and see if I can get a question in. Unless of course ABC decides I’m not a “news” site and doesn’t let me in. Gee, what are the odds of that happening?
On a side note, nice to see Adam Lambert officially admit something we’ve known for the last five months about him. Cover of “Rolling Stone”, snakes hanging around near his crotch area, admitting to everyone he’s gay. Really Adam? Could’ve fooled me. I totally thought you were straight. Maybe next he’ll tell us that the sun rises in the East and sets in the West and that Barack Obama is the new President of the United States. Congrats to him that he officially came out, but that was the least surprising news of this century outside of Paris Hilton having ties to an escort service. Or that David Carradine’s ex’s are now coming out and admitting he was a sexual deviant.
So that’s all for this week. Back Friday with “Reality Roundup”. Would still love any and all feedback related to the merchandise store. We appreciate everyone who has purchased so far, you should be getting your stuff shortly, so please, any questions regarding the stuff, email me firstname.lastname@example.org. See you Friday.