-Sorry I’m a couple days late, but in case you don’t follow me on Twitter or Facebook, you will know that Friday got a little hectic. Around noon I got an email from EXTRA TV asking if they could do a Skype interview with me that would air on Monday night before the finale. So of course I was interested in something like that, however, I didn’t have a webcam nor had I downloaded Skype yet. So I ran to the store, bought a camera, created a Skype account, and did the interview. They just asked me my predictions for what I think happens in the finale, and I told them pretty much exactly what I said in this column two weeks ago (which we’ll get to later). So that took up most of Friday and I apologize for the two day delay. The interview is set to air on tonight’s episode of “EXTRA”, so check your local listings for when it’s on. I’m working on getting a link to it once it airs and I’ll put it up on the site for people that miss it. No, Maddie did not make an appearance. She was sleeping in the other room. It’s just me sitting at my computer in front of the camera. Very bizarre being able to communicate with someone that way. Just think, fifteen years ago I got my first cell phone and was stoked that Verizon gave 20 free minutes a month! Now I can have a conversation on the computer with someone while looking at them for free. Crazy.
“Jon & Kate”
-This isn’t necessarily about them but one of the new women Jon is “involved” with. The first pictures we saw of him with a new chick was with the 22 year old daughter of the doctor who performed Kate’s tummy tuck, Hailey Glassman. Excellent choice Jon because we all know that 22 year old potheads fresh off of Spring Break are ready to be in a serious relationship with a 33 year old guy suffering a mid-life crisis who is recently divorced and has eight children. I see wedding bells in their future, no doubt. That is, of course, if he doesn’t stop spending weekends in the Hamptons with “Star” magazine reporters. Man, this guy is finally free after ten years in handcuffs and he can’t wait to start spreading his seed everywhere. Calm down, Jon. Just days after pictures surfaced of he and Hailey in a NY park holding hands, then another one surfaces of him leaving a NY restaurant with Kate Major, a reporter for “Star” magazine. Kate says they’re just friends and leaves it at that. Three days pass by, Kate and Jon are reportedly staying with Michael Lohan in the Hamptons, Hailey has no idea Jon is even seeing someone else, and Kate Major resigns her post at “Star” due to a “conflict of interest” because she’s “fallen for Jon.” Awesome. You couldn’t write this stuff.
-Anyway, the point I’m getting at here is once I saw the picture of Jon and Kate Major leaving the NY restaurant, something struck me. Her name sounded very familiar. Then when I read she was a reporter for “Star” magazine I realized this is the same woman I spoke to at “Star” when I broke the Jason/Molly/Melissa news last season, the same woman who I did the email interview with this season on the “Bachelorette” guys allegedly being paid to appear, and the same woman I’ve been in contact with since the beginning of this season through email. So naturally, when I first saw the picture at the restaurant, I sent her a quick email basically saying, “Hey, I’m sure you’re getting bombarded but sorry that happened to you. All you did was have dinner with the guy and now you’re being pinned as his new girlfriend.” Then three days later she quits her job saying she’s “fallen for him.” So what did I do yesterday? Well seeing is she doesn’t work for “Star” magazine anymore and she probably didn’t get my email, I texted her. We’ve traded texts a few times over the last month or so. So I asked Kate Major if there is any way she’ll come on and do an interview with me explaining everything that’s gone down. Haven’t heard back, and honestly, I’d be shocked if I did. But hey, I tried. I need to ask her what she really sees in a recently divorced 33 year old who wears Ed Hardy shirts, is constantly on his blue tooth, and how serious she is about getting serious with a guy with eight kids and a mega bitch of an ex-wife. Kate, the floor is yours. I anxiously awaiting a return response.
“More To Love”
-This is the “Bachelor/ette” spin off show by genius Mike Fleiss that begins airing tomorrow night after the “ATFR” show. Same exact premise as the “Bachelor”, pretty much the same format as well, but everyone on the show is overweight. The “Bachelor” guy I believe is 330 lbs and I believe the skinniest girl on the show is 180lbs. A lot of you have asked me if I’m going to be covering this show. I mean, I’ll watch it, but if you’re expecting a “Bachelor” type column every week about it, that’s not gonna happen. I don’t really know how to say this other than the show itself is already a joke, so nothing that I add will make it any funnier. I’m going to take the advice of Chris Rock, whose most recent comedy special aired again on HBO last night and that I watched for the 3rd time. What he said pretty much fits well into my feelings about this show. Essentially he says if you’re overweight, you can curse out the skinny bitches all day long, and no one bats an eye. Fat people are constantly whining about, “She’s too skinny. Look at her. Ya’ anoxeric, peanut eating, bulimic son of a bitch.” But if you’re skinny and a size 2, you can’t talk about fat people and make fun of them. Why? “That’s just mean.” And its true. Overweight people are constantly jealous and bitching about skinny women and no one tells them to shut up. But if you’re a smoking hot model, what good does it do to call some overweight person a “fat pig”. Makes you look like a conceited ass. Bottom line: There’s no need to cover this show. I’d much rather make fun of wannabe models and reality stars than overweight people. That’s just me. I’ll stick to the “Bachelor” and “Bachelorette” franchise, thank you.
“America’s Got Talent”
-I like this show. I do. It’s totally corny, cheesy, and completely over-the-top, but it is what it is. That’s what you get when you host a talent show. A bunch of goofy ass people doing stupid sh** to get on TV. No surprise there. And it seems like the audition episodes have been going for about three months now. I don’t even remember half the acts that made it through to Vegas. No idea. I just always find it amazing that when they get to the top 10 or 20, usually over half the people left are singers. So isn’t this basically “American Idol Lite?” The little red headed girl, Bianca Ryan, won season 1. She’s a singer. Terry Fator won season two as the singing comedian ventriloquist. And last season, the big guy Neil was an opera singer. Look, if the winning prize is a million dollars and headlining a Vegas show, then it stands to reason the winner is probably going to have to be either a singer or a comedian. I guess a dance troupe could headline a Vegas show, but nothing that I’ve seen this year is that good. You pretty much know when you watch these acts what even has a remote chance of winning and what doesn’t. And you also know that the very first act they show in the auditions will always be an absolute bomb that gets booed off stage and the last act they, the “final act of the day”, is always some inspirational singer that has a background story which will make you cry. Pretty much a given with this show.
“The Bachelorette” Finale
-As I stated two weeks ago in my “Bachelorette Recap 7/13/09”, I gave everyone my opinion of what I THINK happens tonight. Yes, I knew the ending last season. This season I don’t. Trust me, if I knew what was going to happen, I’d tell you. Didn’t stop me last season, so I don’t see why it would’ve this season. However, I have a pretty good idea by all the information I’ve gathered over the last month and I stated that two weeks ago. Nothing has really changed over the last couple weeks in regards to what I think happens. I’m just starting to feel a little more strongly about a couple of things. Chris Harrison tweeted yesterday that the last hour of the show is one of the best hours they’ve ever done. Yes, I know, Chris is the king of hyperbole, but seriously, he wouldn’t put that out there if something dramatic didn’t happen. As for Jillian, we know in all interviews she certainly isn’t acting like someone who’s in love, engaged, or if she even is seeing anyone. Could that be because ABC told her not to give anything away or is that just how she feels? Guess we’ll find out. I’m leaning towards the latter. Jillian in interviews has also eluded to the fact that something pretty wild goes down in the last 5 minutes of the show. Also, we’ve been told one of the guys has a “confession” to make. So with all that being said, here’s what I know for a fact:
-The final 1 is not Kiptyn: Since the last five minutes of the show are crazy, I can logically assume Kiptyn will be the first one out of the limo and to the altar so she can dump him.
Also, I have it on pretty good authority that this will not be a regular ending where one guy proposes, she says yes, and everyone is happy. Something is going to go down either before, during, or after the FRC which is why it’s unlike anything we’ve seen. So with that said, what you’ll see in the “EXTRA” piece airing tonight is me giving my predictions for what I think happens. I said it two weeks ago, and I’ll say it again: I don’t think we are going to get any definitive resolution at the end of this episode tonight. There will be some sort of cliffhanger involving Ed and the reappearance of Reid. Maybe Ed doesn’t propose and they’re just dating. Maybe Ed proposes, then Reid proposes, and she tells them she needs time to make her decision. Maybe Ed proposes and she says no. Maybe she already is engaged. I just think that if they’re gonna schedule an “ATFR” tomorrow night, then there’s gotta be a reason for the audience to tune in. They’ve had enough of the “happy couple” ATFR’s that they gotta know, at this point, that’s not good enough anymore. So even though I’m not giving a definitive answer here, I’ll just say that tonight we will not see any sort of conclusion to Jillian’s journey, they will leave us with a cliffhanger, and we will learn more come Tuesday. The reappearance of Reid, and Ed being a douchenozzle will end up playing a role into Jillian’s ultimate decision, which I think we’ll get on Tuesday night. I have a feeling tonight we’re gonna get left in the dark on what, if any, decision Jillian made regarding Ed and Reid. If you go to ABC’s site, in the ad for the Bachelorette it even says, “Trust us, you won’t believe what happens.” So can we really expect this thing to end with a normal engagement? I just don’t see it. She is either with Ed, or she is with no one. That’s my opinion, and I’m sticking to it. And if she is with Ed, I’ll say they last about 3 months. Tops. Enjoy the show tonight.
-One last thing about Ed since a lot of you have been asking. I mentioned a couple weeks ago about rumors of a girlfriend back home, and I left it at that: a rumor. Sure I’ve made jokes about it since where there’s smoke, there’s fire. But never once have I stated for a fact that I’ve confirmed Ed had a girlfriend while on the show. And I still won’t. Only because this girl in question has refused to speak to me as of now. She’s told people through three different channels that she is going to lay low for a bit. However, I’m beginning to think there’s some legitimacy to all this. If Ed gets painted in a good light tonight, I’d say watch out. I have a feeling that isn’t gonna sit well and this story is going to have legs. She knows I’m looking for her and she has free reign to talk to me whenever she wants, but if not, don’t think she might not run her mouth somewhere else. I hate to break it to all you “Jed” fans (god I hate those ridiculous celebrity couple names), but your boy is not a saint. Far from it. Too many people have come forward admitting he’s a snake and not nearly enough people are defending him. Brought on the show late as one of the five extra guys, leaves mid-show to attend to “business” matters, comes back professing his love and now he wants to be married? Please. Not buying it. We’ll see what happens tonight, but I’ve got a feeling this isn’t over. Especially since there are emails and texts from Ed to his ex proving otherwise that are out there and that people have seen. If I were her, I’d come forward with all this, but hey, that’s just me. Kinda ironic how they painted Wes all season as the guy with the girlfriend back home, yet, it could end up being the guy who ends up the final one who had a girlfriend all along. Stay tuned.
Any questions, comments, emails, praises, criticisms, your thoughts on the finale, feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.