Reality Steve

The Bachelorette 6 - Ali

Bachelorette 6 Recap – 5/31/10

-Time for the group date at a Malibu beach house. Twelve guys on the date because they are doing a “sexy guy calendar for charity which will be sold around the country.” Really? Guys like Steve K. and John C. are going to be featured in calendars? Gee, where do I get mine? I’ve gotta run out and get one now before they sell out. The closest those two should ever get to a calendar is when they’re trying to tear the pages apart that are stuck together on their “Playmates of 2010” pin up. I get the calendar was for charity, but what exactly what the selling point of this thing? What was the theme? Because by the looks of it, the calendar could’ve been titled, “F***tards of the Bachelorette 2010”. I mean, they certainly weren’t aiming for sex appeal by dressing them in those ridiculous outfits. Hell, I thought they were breaking California law when they gave Jonathan that banana hammock to wear. When I lived there, I could’ve sworn there was something that said under no circumstances was a guy who could fit into the palm of your hand ever to be featured in a speedo for a charity calendar. Maybe I read my laws incorrectly, but I think that was in there. I’ll double check.

-Lets face it, Jonathan is the epitome of a guy with “short mans disease.” Very insecure, quick tempered, been picked on a lot because of his height his whole life, so he compensates for it by acting out trying to gain the respect of others, when all he really ends up doing is showing how insecure he is of his midget-ness. Was Craig M. being hard on him? Absolutely. But Jonathan couldn’t have reacted worse. In fact, Jonathan acting the way he did is exactly why Craig M. kept on getting in his business. He knew he’d gotten under his skin and he wasn’t gonna let it go. How did Jonathan not know this? You know why? Short man’s disease. Craig M. pulls that same crap with a guy who doesn’t have short man’s disease, and it’s good natured bantering. He does it to Jonathan and the guy goes running to Ali like a sniveling little beyotch. Most people probably can’t stand Craig M. after last night. Yeah, he was a bit much, but I found it hilarious. Jonathan was the one I was laughing at because he let it get to him. And I love the fact that all the guys think so little of Jonathan that they don’t even call him by his name and just refer to him as “Weatherman”. Awesome. Yeah, I’m sure THAT didn’t get under his skin at all either.

-Ty decides to channel his inner Wes Hayden and play the guitar for Ali. Hey, if it ain’t “They say love, it don’t come eeeeeeassssssy”, then I ain’t listening. And apparently neither is my alter ego, Craig the lawyer who says, “Can we stop it already with the country singing guitar players on the ‘Bachelorette'”. Well, just the crappy ones, Craig. Like Ty. I have no idea what Ty sang, I just know I didn’t like it. Might be because I couldn’t understand any of the words either. There. That’s my allegiance to Wes. I can’t wait to see what A cappella songs he busts out on “Bachelor Pad” this season. Yep. Looks like Wes is gonna be on it. I think I’ve got 11 of the 20 people pretty much confirmed. I’ll share those at the end of the column. Not sure exactly still what the hell that show is gonna be about or how it works, but it’s going to be awfully entertaining.

-Not a lot actually happened on the beach. A bunch of quick shots with the guys doing lame poses either in their Borat thongs or in some other douchey outfits next to Ali. Sucks they made Justin hobble around the whole beach on crutches. It was like they were making a point to set up next week’s episode where he “crutches” over to Ali’s place for some alone time. Sure he did. After the beach shoot, they head over to some bar for guys to get some time with Ali and Ty pulls her away first. He feels it’s important to tell Ali about his divorce. Great. The male Tenley. Although we don’t have to hear about his ex cheated on him. My guess is she dumped him because his music sucked ass. But that’s just me. Ty runs through all the “divorce speak” we’ve heard numerous times before. “Give and take…learned so much…life lessons…want to be married again…can be a great husband…” Yada yada yada. Didn’t Ty say his divorce was finalized just last year? What’s with people getting out of a divorce and jumping right into this ridiculous show? Do they enjoy torturing themselves or something? So bizarre.

-The Weatherman vs. Craig storyline continues to rage on. Weatherman says Craig is “totally out of his mind” and a “category 6 asshole.” Get it? He’s a weatherman and he used the Category 6 line? Hilarious. Be sure to tip your waitress next time you see him performing at your local club. I’ll be in the minority here, but Jonathan annoyed me a hell of a lot more last night than Craig did. You know why? Because basically that was Craig’s character on the show last night. Guarantee he was egged on to do that by producers and just went completely over-the-top with it. Not to mention in every single shot of Craig on camera last night he was three sheets to the wind. Holy smokes. I could smell the alcohol through the TV with that guy. One of my biggest pet peeves in life is people who use alcohol as an excuse for their behavior. No idea how much that bothers me. With that said, I don’t think if you asked Craig today if he would take anything back from what he said on the show. But lets make no mistake about it, he over did it because of the alcohol. So not an excuse, just it was quite clear those weren’t the actions of a sober man last night. All he did was show us last night he’s an awful drunk. But it was damn funny to watch.

-Even Justin got some alone time with Ali and I think he tried to RKO her after getting her all groggy with the sleeper hold. Think they purposely made sure the edit of their alone time had Ali uttering this line? “I have a really good feeling about you and I think you’re genuine.” Wrong and wrong, Ali. But nice try. Sets it up so beautifully for later this season when the guy craps all over the show and does a 180 to that statement. See, with Frank, they’re really getting you to like him. Hell, I liked him after his date with Ali. He seems like a good, fun, quirky guy that’d be cool to have a few beers with. Of course, I’m a guy. What choices he makes in his personal life with women is his doing. That wouldn’t affect whether or not I wanted to hang out with the guy. But to women, he will be considered the spawn of the devil. To put it in “Lost” vernacular, basically he wouldn’t be showing up at the church with Jack Shephard in the after-life. He’d be chilling with the smoke monster somewhere to repent for his sins. I think with Justin, he’s already disliked by most of the guys in the house for the wrestling schtick, and he’s being set up as the first major villain of the season. Craig M. was a harmless villain since he only lasted two episodes and had chick hair.

-So when it came down to who might get the rose for the night, Jonathan thought he had a chance because he was good at being such a weasel by going crying and whining to Ali about Craig and Justin thought he had a chance because, well, he wore an exact same shirt that I have. Pimp. But of course as we know, Ty got the rose because he played his guitar and sang out of tune to Ali. On a date with twelve guys, kinda disappointing we basically got to see her interact with three of them – Ty, Jonathan, and Justin. I mean, I get that Jonathan and Craig didn’t like each other, but geez. Didn’t they go a little overboard with their feud last night? Ok, we get it. These two don’t like each other. They spent an awful lot of time on a feud where one of those guys was going home last night. It was overkill after a while. I wanted to beat Jonathan with a shovel, and I wanted to start an intervention group with Craig M.

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  1. Santana53

    June 8, 2010 at 8:41 AM

    So, did anyone else notice that for a few seconds during Justin’s walk to Ali’s house in last night’s episode (6-7-10) that the cast on Justin’s leg miraculously switched from his left leg to his right?

  2. soccer12573

    June 8, 2010 at 7:37 PM

    Steve do you know the exact dates Ali and the guys were in New York??

  3. love100

    June 10, 2010 at 2:48 AM

    I actually think Roberto is super fine, don’t have any idea what you’re talking about regarding him, Steve. My bet is that Roberto and Cape Cod Man will be the final two. Those would be my final two. In fact, those are the only two I’d go on any dates with or pay any attention to at all.

  4. You_re_killing_me

    June 13, 2010 at 7:56 AM

    This is a hate-love situation, Steve… I LOVE to read you and I LOL when I read you, I find you hilarious with your cynical (but oh true most of the time) comments and I HATE to know the end of the show. But you are like addictin, cannot stop reading you!
    I am like you, I love to watch people and see little details that not everybody would pay attention at first. It was interesting to watch betwenn ali’s and Jake’s and listen the producer says that he wanted dramas, and half of the people were fake and choosen in this purpose.

    Based on the close up camera and gossips and trailers, me thinking of 4 guys in the end:

    Chris L

    So facts:
    episode 1: one-on-one in the coctail party, Roberto then Chris L
    episode 2: one-on-one in the coctail party, Chris L then Roberto
    episode 3: one-on-one date with Roberto, one-on-one in the coctail with Chris L

    I agree that Kasey was choosen after Craig M departure. They needed drama.

    episode 1: drama with justin
    episode 2: drama with justin and introduction to weatherman/craig
    episode 3: drama with justin, weatherman and craig but departure of craig… leave us one new place for
    episode 4: Kasey! but lets not forget justin and most probably departure of weatherman who remained only for the dramas purposes and departure of Kasey
    episode 5: drama with justin (still around as a back up drama guy) and introduction to Frank’s drama (who does not stand any longer that ali did not make it clear that he was #1). still justin with the lawer craig who is more and more like the superman-justice-cartoon kind of guy TADA!)
    episode 6: justin out!
    episode 7: frank almost out!
    episode 8: frank out!
    episode 9-10: chris L and Roberto
    Last one: Robertooooooooooooooooooo

    Chris L: cape code area, lay back guy, nature guy, jeans guy, sports guy, find him “cute”, easy going, easy guy, family oriented, not a carreer type of guy, Chris L said that he will not proposed unless he is sure that ali loves him, does not really take oportunities to have one-on-one time with ali. Chris L makes her feel confortable but not impressed.

    Roberto: gentleman, manly and has all the outside good looking guy, sports guy, smart/cultural, find him “handsome”, family oriented, carreer and successful guy, Roberto mentionned that he will be the last guy in the end, Roberto knows already what he wants, he showed that he is not afraid to raise his opinion (when he mentions justin to ali in episode 3 and when he was the firs guy to say to justin that they were talking about him after everyone felt ashamed that they were gossiping behind justin’s back), shows to ali that he is there and takes oportunities to have as much as one-on-one time with her. Roberto impresses her in all levels.

    What does that say: Ali is looking for the man in charge. Yep Steve, I agree that some dom/sub would not surprise me! lol

    What about Kirk?… lust and chemistry but nothing serious behind that

    Frank? well… different guy, funny but we know why not.

    So my vote goes to Roberto of course. I think that overall he is the most decent guy of the gang (from what we see of course).

    If a lady mentionned that Chris L said he was single in the plane… and the “see you tomorrow at work” co-worker with the wink? mmmm lets see……..

    Last comment though. Anyone remember the producer saying that half of the people were real and half fake and choosed because of their attitude or weird personalities???? So why everone is always surprised to have a weatherman, a Craig toupet, a “shorter” guy, a wresling guys????

    That is part of the game and that makes us watch each season so closely so far so we can make fun of them, ridicule them, make fun in every way we can and this very confortably in our own sofas, right?

  5. You_re_killing_me

    June 13, 2010 at 8:11 AM

    not shorter but shooter… soweee

  6. susan

    June 13, 2010 at 9:02 AM

    Hi Steve. You said spoilers would be posted in a different area, but you keep telling us who the final two are in your recaps.

  7. You_re_killing_me

    June 13, 2010 at 11:37 AM

    okay. I went to fanofrealitytv forum and no matter what you say, steve, you are wrong! lol
    now they are all complaining that you did not say the F1 like Vienna. GEEE you made your point pretty clear: you-do-not-know-who-is-F1-for-sure.
    Everyone is pointing ChrisL but did not read anything to convince me. They even say that ChrisL wore his family business tee and did not come as clean as people think he is (although promotion about charity or family buz not sure here). Roberto is either one day not enough mature and the following not enough fun because he gets less smiles exposure than ChrisL.

    mmm my question is: on every previous bacheror/ette producer was very addamant to show all along the episode the romantic sides so in the end it was a recap of all the huggggggggge kissy-cuddly moments.

    Now… so far I see a lot of Roberto but not that much of ChrisL. Although in the next episode ChrisL gets to have is one-on-one with Ali. I am curious to see how many minutes Roberto and ChrisL will get total. Anyone got curious about this?

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