Reality Steve

The Bachelorette 6 - Ali

Bachelorette 6 Recap – 5/31/10

-So the next date is Jesse’s 1-on-1 with Ali in Vegas. The reason he knew it was his date was because when the date box arrived, it had the initials “J.B.” on the cuff links he was supposed to wear. And since Roberto Martinez, Chris Lambton, and some other guy without those initials were the only possible candidates, Jesse’s used his powerful deductive reasoning skills and realized those must be for him. Those folk in Peculiar, Missouri sure dem’ smart ones. I’m glad Jesse knows his own initials. For a second there I was worried. Nonetheless, my fears are almost realized when Jesse admits to us the first suit he ever bought was for this show. Yet he knows what cuff links are? If he’s never worn a suit, I’m guessing he has no clue how to put cuff links on. Ok, raise your hand guys in the bachelor house, which one of taught Jesse how to tie a tie? And how to put on cuff links? I’ve got a $1000 on the weatherman. I’m sure he grabbed his stool to stand behind him and helped Jesse out because he wanted to be more liked. Either that or he just wanted to hide from the big bad wolf that is Craig M.

-Now Jesse and Ali take a private jet to Las Vegas. This should be interesting since Ali informs us again how scared she is of flying and the only airplane Jesse has seen is probably something he colored in a book when he was a kid. Either the producers are also into therapy and are helping Ali get over her fear of flying, or they’re just torturing her this season. She hates to fly, yet, this season she flies to Vegas, New York, Iceland (in a helicopter just yards away from an active volcano), Turkey, Portugal, and Tahiti. Not to mention the four different cities she went to on her hometown dates. Whatever fears she had of flying should probably be cured by now. You know how you get over your fear of flying, Ali? Mile High Club. Takes your mind off it all. I doubt you and Jesse hit it in that little cramped space, and since you don’t fly with the rest of the guys on any of your other trips this season, you missed out on your chance. I’m sorry. You still have plenty of time left in your life to accomplish that. Good luck.

-First thing Ali and Jesse get to do in Vegas is go to Liquid nightclub at the Aria hotel, but it hadn’t even opened up to the public yet at the time of filming. So that made it extra special to both Jesse and Ali since they were able to swim around in the pool and fondle each other first before the rest of the seedy, horny, over indulged, sex crazed, douchebags filled it with all their semen particles over the last few months. They should probably require you to wear a Hazmat suit before entering that pool now. Do you realize how much underwater sex is happening in a Vegas pool? See, I’m a people watcher. Everywhere I go, I love checking out guys’ approach to women. I find it hilarious. And when I’m at any Vegas pool, that’s usually my favorite time to people watch. I notice things I don’t think a lot of people think I notice. So yeah, to the couple at the Venetian hotel pool last September who tried to be coy about the hand job being performed in the corner? Busted! You can’t sneak anything by me. Nice try. You couldn’t have waited til you got back to the room for that one? Really? Or at least the elevator?

-So after swimming around in the only clean pool in Vegas, Jesse gets to finally put his cuff links to use. He had never worn a suit before this show, now he’s already on suit #2! He could probably run for Mayor of Peculiar now. Dem’ soots shure is fantsy. I gotta say, as a guy, the only reason why you’d wear expensive cuff links, is to announce to everyone that you’ve got money. I mean, c’mon. They’re the most least talked about thing on a guy if he’s in a nice suit, and half the time they’re covered up. Why would you spend an inordinate amount of money on something so inconsequential unless you were looking to show off your douchebaggyness? Not blaming Jesse, since it wasn’t his choice, but in general, I don’t think at the end of the night the deciding factor of whether you’re getting laid or not has anything to do with the engraved initial cuff links you were wearing. Call me crazy. Anyway, Jesse and Ali go to Haze nightclub inside Aria and get a private concert from Jamie Cullum. No idea who he is, nor do I care. When I heard there’d be a Jamie performing for them, you don’t know how disappointed I was it wasn’t Jamie Walters. What I would’ve killed to see him singing “How Do You Talk To An Angel” as those two pretended to like each other. And then afterwards, he could’ve pushed Ali down the stairs and broken her arm. By the way, Ali looked hot in her dress last night, despite what numerous catty women probably think.

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  1. Santana53

    June 8, 2010 at 8:41 AM

    So, did anyone else notice that for a few seconds during Justin’s walk to Ali’s house in last night’s episode (6-7-10) that the cast on Justin’s leg miraculously switched from his left leg to his right?

  2. soccer12573

    June 8, 2010 at 7:37 PM

    Steve do you know the exact dates Ali and the guys were in New York??

  3. love100

    June 10, 2010 at 2:48 AM

    I actually think Roberto is super fine, don’t have any idea what you’re talking about regarding him, Steve. My bet is that Roberto and Cape Cod Man will be the final two. Those would be my final two. In fact, those are the only two I’d go on any dates with or pay any attention to at all.

  4. You_re_killing_me

    June 13, 2010 at 7:56 AM

    This is a hate-love situation, Steve… I LOVE to read you and I LOL when I read you, I find you hilarious with your cynical (but oh true most of the time) comments and I HATE to know the end of the show. But you are like addictin, cannot stop reading you!
    I am like you, I love to watch people and see little details that not everybody would pay attention at first. It was interesting to watch betwenn ali’s and Jake’s and listen the producer says that he wanted dramas, and half of the people were fake and choosen in this purpose.

    Based on the close up camera and gossips and trailers, me thinking of 4 guys in the end:

    Chris L

    So facts:
    episode 1: one-on-one in the coctail party, Roberto then Chris L
    episode 2: one-on-one in the coctail party, Chris L then Roberto
    episode 3: one-on-one date with Roberto, one-on-one in the coctail with Chris L

    I agree that Kasey was choosen after Craig M departure. They needed drama.

    episode 1: drama with justin
    episode 2: drama with justin and introduction to weatherman/craig
    episode 3: drama with justin, weatherman and craig but departure of craig… leave us one new place for
    episode 4: Kasey! but lets not forget justin and most probably departure of weatherman who remained only for the dramas purposes and departure of Kasey
    episode 5: drama with justin (still around as a back up drama guy) and introduction to Frank’s drama (who does not stand any longer that ali did not make it clear that he was #1). still justin with the lawer craig who is more and more like the superman-justice-cartoon kind of guy TADA!)
    episode 6: justin out!
    episode 7: frank almost out!
    episode 8: frank out!
    episode 9-10: chris L and Roberto
    Last one: Robertooooooooooooooooooo

    Chris L: cape code area, lay back guy, nature guy, jeans guy, sports guy, find him “cute”, easy going, easy guy, family oriented, not a carreer type of guy, Chris L said that he will not proposed unless he is sure that ali loves him, does not really take oportunities to have one-on-one time with ali. Chris L makes her feel confortable but not impressed.

    Roberto: gentleman, manly and has all the outside good looking guy, sports guy, smart/cultural, find him “handsome”, family oriented, carreer and successful guy, Roberto mentionned that he will be the last guy in the end, Roberto knows already what he wants, he showed that he is not afraid to raise his opinion (when he mentions justin to ali in episode 3 and when he was the firs guy to say to justin that they were talking about him after everyone felt ashamed that they were gossiping behind justin’s back), shows to ali that he is there and takes oportunities to have as much as one-on-one time with her. Roberto impresses her in all levels.

    What does that say: Ali is looking for the man in charge. Yep Steve, I agree that some dom/sub would not surprise me! lol

    What about Kirk?… lust and chemistry but nothing serious behind that

    Frank? well… different guy, funny but we know why not.

    So my vote goes to Roberto of course. I think that overall he is the most decent guy of the gang (from what we see of course).

    If a lady mentionned that Chris L said he was single in the plane… and the “see you tomorrow at work” co-worker with the wink? mmmm lets see……..

    Last comment though. Anyone remember the producer saying that half of the people were real and half fake and choosed because of their attitude or weird personalities???? So why everone is always surprised to have a weatherman, a Craig toupet, a “shorter” guy, a wresling guys????

    That is part of the game and that makes us watch each season so closely so far so we can make fun of them, ridicule them, make fun in every way we can and this very confortably in our own sofas, right?

  5. You_re_killing_me

    June 13, 2010 at 8:11 AM

    not shorter but shooter… soweee

  6. susan

    June 13, 2010 at 9:02 AM

    Hi Steve. You said spoilers would be posted in a different area, but you keep telling us who the final two are in your recaps.

  7. You_re_killing_me

    June 13, 2010 at 11:37 AM

    okay. I went to fanofrealitytv forum and no matter what you say, steve, you are wrong! lol
    now they are all complaining that you did not say the F1 like Vienna. GEEE you made your point pretty clear: you-do-not-know-who-is-F1-for-sure.
    Everyone is pointing ChrisL but did not read anything to convince me. They even say that ChrisL wore his family business tee and did not come as clean as people think he is (although promotion about charity or family buz not sure here). Roberto is either one day not enough mature and the following not enough fun because he gets less smiles exposure than ChrisL.

    mmm my question is: on every previous bacheror/ette producer was very addamant to show all along the episode the romantic sides so in the end it was a recap of all the huggggggggge kissy-cuddly moments.

    Now… so far I see a lot of Roberto but not that much of ChrisL. Although in the next episode ChrisL gets to have is one-on-one with Ali. I am curious to see how many minutes Roberto and ChrisL will get total. Anyone got curious about this?

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