-Rose ceremony time. I mean, even they realized how bad this episode sucked that they sped everything up. Didn’t show us the cocktail party, her fireside chats with Chris, her deliberating over the “Pick Me!” photos. Nope. None of it. Lets get down to business people. No more wasting time. We have a 40 minute televised trainwreck about to happen. We musn’t waste any more time! Ali: “This was an amazing week…glad I got a lot of time…no longer my relationship with you, but with you and your family…thank you for being here and coming on this world tour…lets make this as quick and painless as possible so we can get to the good stuff for this episode. Jake and Vienna, the floor is yours. I’m gonna go sleepwalk through four hometown dates. Wake me when it’s over.”
Chris: Yessssss!!! Seven consecutive rose ceremonies in jeans and no tie. You’re the best Chris. Just don’t let Frank steal all your stuff before he bolts Tahiti. I wonder if Chris shows up to the final rose ceremony in swim trunks, fins, and a life vest thinking they’re going snorkeling?
Frank: The character assassination of Frank Neuschaefer countdown begins now. Two weeks and counting…
Roberto: “Do I show her my wicked slider? Maybe I’ll pump some fastballs right by her head showing her who’s boss. But you know, I’ve got that killer changeup and curveball that breaks off the table. So many things to show off next week, I can’t wait to get home!”
“Ali, gentleman, this is the final rose tonight. When you’re ready. I’ll be over here prepping my questions for Vienna since I basically took Jake’s side last night and asked him nothing. Gotta continue the façade that Jake Pavelka is actually a good guy, when in reality, he’s an arrogant prick. Shhhhh, but don’t tell anyone.”
Kirk: Break out the Favre jerseys, spray cheese, and Pepperidge Farm Milano’s cuz Ali’s comin’ to Green Bay!
I would like to point out something about this show’s edit now that it’s official Ty is gone and not coming back. Like I said last week, the shot of him in the helicopter, with an immediate shot afterwards of Tahiti, was just a trick by them. Not to mention the shirtless pictures of him on the beach were taken from Malibu earlier in the season. Also in regards to the BS this show feeds us. Remember back in episode 1 where they showed Frank hugging Ali with those cop lights or firetruck lights flashing in their faces? Ummmmm, did we ever see that this season? Didn’t think so. It obviously doesn’t happen during the hometowns next week, nor does it happen in Tahiti. Not to mention the footage they showed right after it which seemed like a helicopter shot and cop cars all around as well. That never happened this season either. Just wanted to point out yet again how to never believe everything you see in the previews. They do it for effect and that’s all. Basically, they just lie to make you think something’s there that’s not.