Remember, for this seasons spoilers, click on the either of the two links under the banner above (Part 1 & Part 2) for all your answers regarding what happens this season. Might want to freshen up with Part 1 before the sh** hits the fan with Frank next week. Check out the “Bachelor Pad” spoiler link as well if you haven’t already. The new info I reveal in today’s column has been added.
So the “Men Tell All” taping is this Saturday in LA. I have every reason to believe I will know what happens after its done filming. One problem: I’ll be in Austin this weekend. I’m determining exactly how this is going to work. I guess I’ll make my decision on Saturday. If some major info comes down from the taping, then I’ll find a way to post it on my blog. Probably be really short and just relay the info on to my friend to do it for me. But if there’s nothing earth shattering being revealed at the taping, I’ll probably just wait til Sunday night when I get home. It’ll all depend on what happens. One thing I can tell you for sure about the “Men Tell All”: Frank will not be there. They’re bringing Frank in to join Chris and Roberto when they tape the “After the Final Rose” show. So, your final three aren’t going to be there, nor is Justin. Or so he says as of this past weekend. What the hell are they gonna talk about for two hours? Probably a lot of “Bachelor Pad” promotion I’m guessing. So I can’t imagine anything newsworthy coming out of the “Men Tell All”, but if there is, it’ll be up Saturday evening at some point.
As for the Justin interview, no idea where it stands. I spoke with him this weekend. He wants to do it, but he’s ironing some stuff out on his end that he needs to take care of. If he does it, he does it, and you’ll hear it. If doesn’t, then I’ll just relay information to you from him. Look, by no means is Justin innocent in any of this. The guy did some things wrong on the show, without a doubt, that will have a lot of people not believing a word he says. But just like the Wes and Rozlyn interviews, if we can do it, I will let him tell his side of what went on behind the scenes and have you judge for yourself whether you believe him or not. I know some of the stuff is true because I heard it from other sources. But the question is how much and is it embellished? That’s for you to decide. So hopefully we can eventually get that interview done.
A couple updates to give on “Bachelor Pad”. I’ve added these to the spoiler link that’s under the banner. If you haven’t read what’s going to happen on “Bachelor Pad”, click on that link for all the details. Some updated info:
-Yes, Natalie does take her top off during her 1-on-1 time making out with Dave in the Mirage topless pool. But kinda like Ali’s date with Jesse Beck earlier this season, they’re the only two people at the pool, so it’s not like she stripped for a bunch of people. Just Dave. And horny cameramen.
-As for how people are voted out, I did mention that the girls would get together and decide on one guy, and the guys would decide one girl. Yes, that’s how it happens. However, each person goes individually into their ITM and drops the headshot of the person they want gone into a box. So you could be in with your group of girls saying, “Yeah, yeah, yeah, let’s vote so-and-so out”, but then change your vote when you get in your ITM because no one would know. Chris and Melissa only reveal which person is going home at the elimination ceremonies, not who got how many votes. I believe that’s why a couple of the eliminations ended up surprising people.
When Gia got eliminated, it was a tie between her and Krisily. The guy who was safe from elimination that night, Dave (for winning the kissing contest), was the one who cast the deciding vote. He decided to keep Krisily over Gia.
-As for Gia participating in the kissing contest even though she has a boyfriend, yes, she did participate. That’s the extent of what I know. I never said she made out with all of them. I just said she participated and that “I’m sure her boyfriend will be thrilled.” I’m guessing she didn’t tongue down with every guy left.
-And the real good info I was looking for: More questions and answers from that questionnaire. I was able to get three more, including what the consensus answer was to each one that everyone voted on.
Dumbest girl in the house? Gwen
Fakest girl in the house? Nikki
Most shallow girl in the house? Elizabeth
So as you can see, that really stirred up a lot emotions among the women. Who wouldn’t be bothered by the fact that others in the house voted you “Most Fake” or “Dumbest”? Quality challenge they played there. I’m sure that led to a lot of peace and harmony in the house, cuz women are never insecure about stuff like that…ha ha. On to last night…
-Roberto’s hometown up first in Tampa, Fla. He greets her at the University of Tampa by picking her up and swinging her around. Ali really seems to like this show of affection. Roberto: “So what do you think of Tampa?” Ali: “It’s beautiful.” Really? Already you’ve been able to decipher that in the car ride over from the hotel to a Div. II college? You must be easily impressed. I wish one of these guys lived in Harlem or Compton. “So do you like where I live?” Ali: “I love it. So beautiful and quiet.” Enough with the nicey nice, Ali. You’ve been there about eight minutes. Oh hey, were any of you aware that Roberto used to play baseball? It was weird how they never mentioned that for the first seven episodes but then just decided to spring all this baseball stuff on us last night. Kinda crazy, huh? The way this guy talked about his baseball career, you’d think like he used to be good about seven years ago. Turn the page, Roberto. Seriously. You had an ERA over 7.00 and no one’s ever heard of that school. Other than that, you’re the next Ubaldo Jimenez.
-So their date is on a baseball field and he gives her one of his old Tampa jerseys he used to wear, then the next shot we see is him running in from the outfield in full baseball gear. Ali then gave the line of the night: “I had no idea he was gonna go put on a baseball uniform.” Uhhhh, then you’re a dope. You mean after he had given you one, then left for the next, oh I don’t know 10-15 minutes while sat there on the pitchers mound waiting for him, you STILL didn’t have a clue the guy would go put on that jersey? Ali, the guy has nothing but eat, sleep, and drink baseball talk since the freakin’ show started. He brought a baseball and two gloves out the first night to play catch. What’d you think he went to go change into? A pirate’s outfit? Maybe come back out to the field in Barney costume? I think all the hair bleaching is seeping into your brain. If you couldn’t see that coming from a mile away, you are not the 4.0 Summa Cum Laude student from Clark University that we’ve been told about. No, I haven’t been stalking her.
-The next sequence of events sure was puke inducing. Roberto and Ali playing a game of baseball together. Ahhhhh, kinda reminded you of the end of “Field of Dreams”, didn’t it? Yeah, me neither. Not with all that giggling and laughing. Ok, I may have brought it up early in the season, but because I’ve been blinded by everything Ali Fedotowsky this season, I haven’t harped on her negatives as much as I should have. The over laughing has got to stop. Like, yesterday. She laughs at EVERYTHING, even if its not supposed to be something to be laughed at. I get it’s probably nervous laughter to ease tension, but it’s just annoying. Sorry, sweetcakes. Had to point it out. Don’t be mad. Hold me. Anyway, I was really impressed to see Roberto topping the gun at about 67mph. Impressive. No wonder your ERA was worse than the Cubs bullpen. Sorry, Cubbies. But your bully blows. As does the rest of your team. Enough with the ground balls, and pop-ups, and batting practice, etc. So cheesy and corny and don’t gimmie this crap it’d be something you’d do on a date together. No it wouldn’t. You’re doing it because you have a field to yourself and cameras around. The vomit on my carpet looks like today’s lunch.
-To cap off the cheesiest portion of any hometown date we’ve ever seen, Roberto gives Ali his baseball card from, oh I don’t know, eight years ago or whenever it was. Don’t flip it over Ali! His stats are on the back! AWWWWWWWWW!!!!!! You did. Now you see what a scrub the guy was. Ali gives my second favorite line of the night. Ali: “I never thought I’d date a guy with his own personal baseball card.” Hahahahahahahahaha. You realize that card and $0.99 can buy you something at the $0.99 store? Ali, anyone who’s ever played organized baseball in their life or was on a team of any sort can be on a baseball card. Hell, I think I still have mine from little league. He gave you a minor league baseball card? You realize how insignificant that thing is? Especially eight years after the fact when he’s an insurance agent? I’d tell him to give you a whole box of them and you can just use them to make card houses. Or to keep a fire burning. Man, Ali is either not too keen on baseball issues or she’s rather impressed by the most meaningless things. Hey Ali, did you know I was quoted in “In Touch” magazine? I’d say that’s about on par with Roberto’s minor league baseball card from years ago. So I guess that means I can bed you down in Tahiti, too. Can’t wait.
-So now that this goofy baseball exhibition is over, we get to meet Roberto’s dad, Roberto Sr, his mom Olga, his brother Peter, his sister Olga, and his sister-in-law Kristen. Lets just say the Martinez family wasn’t the most creative when it came to naming their babies. Roberto and Olga, let’s welcome your two children – Roberto and Olga. Sucks for Peter. I’m sure they really were contemplating Roberto Jr. II with him, but figured that Peter was the better route to go so as not to confuse everyone watching this show. Roberto’s dad is proud of Roberto. Roberto on Roberto: “You’re a big prize in my mind.” Ahh, I agree. Mr. Roberto has got to be proud of little Roberto because little Roberto won a bunch of trophies and played baseball so well all to make Mr. Roberto proud. I bet Peter was jealous of all the attention little Roberto got. Probably had the Jan Brady complex. “Roberto! Roberto! Roberto!” But hey, he’s married and Roberto isn’t, so, suck it big brother.
-Hey, what a surprise. Mr. Roberto is showing Ali little Roberto’s trophy room. Really? I mean, REALLY? For Christ sakes, enough with the trophies. I’m guessing none of those were for him being “Insurance Man of the Year”. I was hoping and praying he’d just break out the letterman’s jacket. I mean, at that point, he might as well have. Or better yet, old game film. If baseball wasn’t already boring enough to watch on TV, how about this Ali? Let’s take a look at my son from eight years ago playing Div. II baseball getting lit up like a Christmas tree when they bring him in from the bullpen. Here, grab some popcorn and sit down why don’t ya? This’ll be a blast! When Mr. Roberto talks to Ali, he brags about his son. Again. “You’ve met a tremendous human being.” I’ll give Mr. Roberto credit for one thing – he sells his son like a used car. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think Roberto Martinez Jr was the finest human being to ever walk this planet. You’ve made pops proud, Roberto. Now go out sell more insurance.
Remember “ABC – Always Be Closing”.
-He also asks Ali what she wants out of life. Ali: “I want to own my own business…I want to be successful in my career.” Well that certainly sets Ali apart from others. Because most people I know when asked that question, usually go with, “I have no goals and I hope nothing ever comes my way where I would be successful at it.” Very nice generic answer, Ali. I’m sure that won over Mr. Roberto big time. His son is an insurance agent. That’s big time. He’s also and office manager and drives a Dodge Stratus! (Points to those who get the reference). While his dad is grilling Ali on her qualifications to marry his awesome son, little Roberto is getting the blessing from his mother to marry Ali. Well, that is if there’s still a chance anyone’s left on this show that doesn’t want to leave so they can bang their ex-girlfriend. Man, this had to be a blow to Ali’s ego with all these dudes chasing their ex’s. Oh well. Her bank account has a bunch of extra zeros after it now, so what does she care? And in the shocker of all shockers to end the hometown date, all the Martinez clan get up to salsa dance. Here’s what I’ve learned about Roberto Martinez in 8 weeks: He plays baseball and likes to salsa dance. Thanks for coming.