Reality Steve

The Bachelorette 6 - Ali

Bachelorette 6 Recap – 7/19/10 Including The Truth Behind Frank’s Exit

-Roberto’s date is up first with Ali. I think it’s safe to say after watching Roberto this episode that the guy has a bit of a sweating problem. Holy crap. Obviously it was hot in Tahiti, but hey, Lambton wasn’t sweating like Mike Tyson at a spelling bee like Roberto was. I felt like Roberto should’ve been carrying around a towel everywhere he went. In fact, in one of his ITM’s, I think he did. I love how when Ali arrived in Le Taha’a, she was acting as if she had just won some pageant and was being shown around the island. Who the hell was she waving at? They don’t even know who you are, Ali. Ali: “Now is the opportunity to take my relationship with these guys to the next level.” Translation: Bow-chicka-bow-bow. You know what’s funny? How “bow-chicka-bow-bow” have become the universal lyrics for having sex. Say those four words to anyone and they’ll know exactly what you’re talking about. Especially if you kinda sing it and makes gestures with your hands like I do.

-I was thoroughly enjoying all the bikini shots of Ali in the water. Very seductive. Especially the one of her in slow motion coming out of the water and whipping her hair around. It was like Phoebe Cates in “Fast Times at Ridgemont High” without the nudity. And I must say, that was probably my first ever experience into adulthood watching that scene. It will forever be embedded in my head. Thank you, Phoebe. Thank you. Now why did you have to go ruin it by keeping all your clothes on in “Gremlins”? Horrible career choice. Anyway, her and Roberto go to the island of Tupai. It’s a reef with a lagoon in the shape of a heart. I gotta say, that was the most odd shaped heart I’ve ever seen in my life. Hey, whatever floats your boat and if you want to make it look more romantic than it is, be my guest, but I’m sorry, that thing looked nothing like a heart to me. And does it really matter it was shaped like a heart? When you’re actually on that island, it’s not like you can tell the difference what shape it is. Dumb. I didn’t get why they made such a big deal out of it.

-I really enjoyed the next part. Ali took her pants off. Damn, she has a bathing suit on underneath. Always happens on this show. Drats! Although it is a bathing suit that doesn’t match. A yellow top with red bikini bottoms? Huh? I don’t want to suggest that by the time she got to Tahiti, maybe she’d grown out of the bottoms that matched the yellow top but, uhhhhh, maybe she grew out of the original yellow bottoms that matched with the yellow top. But that’s not important. What is important is watching these two kiddies frolic around in the water like 6 year olds. Weeeeeeeeee!!!!!! Not to mention barely taking any breaths of air since their mouth’s were attached to each others the whole time using the other person’s lungs for oxygen. But despite all that kissing, am I missing something? Why don’t these people ever use their tongues? How many times do I have to watch two good looking people in the water on a beautiful resort island give closed mouthed kisses to each other? C’mon, lets ramp up the sex factor here please. I mean, its really bizarre how little tongue is used. It’s like Jen Scheft is back on the show kissing a bunch of guys she never liked in the first place.

-At dinner, Roberto continues to emphasize how “ridiculous” Tahiti is. I think he’s only said 783 times at this point, but I lost track. He still can’t get over the island of Tupai they were on, which led to this exchange:

Roberto: “Today was ridiculous.”
Ali: “It was a freakin’ heart!” (talking about the island)
Roberto: “It was an island shaped heart.”

No actually Roberto, it was a heart-shaped island. But hey, it’s not like Ali’s into you because of your brain. More for your mouth skills. And your ability to sweat through a shirt like nobody’s business. Holy crap, someone get this guy a fan or something. He’s dripping at dinner and the steamy loves scenes haven’t even started happening yet. Did someone drop a bucket of water on him? Is he nervous? Is he running a fever? We’ve had plenty of overnight dates in exotic locations that were outside and I’m sure hot and muggy, but no one has ever sweat quite like Roberto did this whole date. Yikes. I guess apologies are in order from Craig to the weatherman for making fun of his pit stains earlier in the season. Seems it should’ve been aimed at Roberto.

-Next, Roberto shows his true ignorance when it comes to this show. Ali hands him the date card. Roberto: “What’s this?” Ali: “It’s from Chris Harrison, you idiot. They’ve only done this for 20 seasons in a row now. Wake up, already.” However, in Roberto’s defense, if you read Kirk’s interview last week, Kirk said Roberto told him he’d never watched the show before, and didn’t know a thing about Ali until the show began because he didn’t want to come in with any pre-conceived notions. Great, Roberto. Of course, when you were playing baseball a town over from Ali years ago and she was cheering you on from the stands, apparently you knew her then. Ha ha. “US Weekly”, you should seriously get any journalism credential revoked for actually having the audacity to throw that on your front cover and claim that as a shocking revelation. Of course, I don’t actually think anything “US Weekly” does should be considered journalism, but you get the point. Stick to taking pictures of stars shopping at grocery stores and walking their babies, and cut down on the “investigative” stuff since you’ve basically got nothing.

-For those who have never watched this show, here’s what the date card said. “Ali and Robert. Welcome to one of the most beautiful Tahitian islands, Taha’a. I hope you are enjoying your stay. Should you choose to forgo your individual rooms, please use this key to stay as a couple in the fantasy suite so Roberto can sweat behind closed doors by actually doing some physical activity. Chris.” Ali and Roberto walk back to their suite through the water, which prompts Ali to make sure she unbuttons his shirt and takes it off for him. Hopefully this night led to some actual open mouth kissing with tongue involved. I’m sure it did. Among other things. Hey, this is the first time all season where two people are alone, the cameras aren’t rolling, people aren’t standing around, and they are behind closed doors without mikes on. So yeah, of course this is where the dirty dirty happens. As it should. I don’t fault any of the female leads who’ve banged all three guys on the overnights. Nor do I fault the male leads. It’s what we’ve come to expect and honestly, you can’t make a correct decision anyway if you’re truly contemplating accepting marriage from this person a few days later and you haven’t done it. Either that, or Ali forgot to bring her D cell batteries to Tahiti and just needed to release some built up frustration and Roberto and Chris were in the right place at the right time.

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117 Comments

117 Comments

  1. swamp witch

    July 23, 2010 at 2:00 AM

    I forgot to mention that I think Ali is stunning even though she has, indeed, put on a few pounds. I do get tired of her laughing at every inane comment, but she probably does it to keep sane.

    I don’t know where people get off saying Chris or any of the others are too good for Ali. It sounds like the green monster of jealousy rearing its ugly head. None of us know her, and there is no way we can know what she is really like from this farcical show.

  2. realitybytes

    July 23, 2010 at 7:09 AM

    I’m actually surprised no one has mentioned this one yet:
    Frank = Woody Allen
    ick.

  3. chelly-chan

    July 23, 2010 at 7:20 AM

    “Stunning” is not a word I would use for Ali’s looks. She is “cute” in a Doris Day sort of way.
    She has an odd nose and not the best mouth. Now GIA – I thought her looks were STUNNING.
    Gia is also very feminine which Ali is not. Ali is like a tomboy. Maybe this tomboy aspect appeals to many men but I think most men prefer feminine women.

  4. Lucetto

    July 23, 2010 at 9:51 PM

    Good for you KBO !!! Hopefully Chris is reading this blog and saying : hum, where can I get that beer ???
    On another note, just a question, did Reality Steve say they were filming the after the final rose ceremony on saturday ? I thought it was tape live after we see the last episode on tv???

  5. LetsBowl

    July 24, 2010 at 4:44 AM

    I apologize if you’ve answered this before, but is it part of the contract or a production rule that everyone has to say “I’m falling in love with Bachelor/Bachelorette?” B/c EVERYONE says that. Do they just do that so if they get dumped, they don’t have to look back on saying they were “in love” or so they don’t feel like they were lying about being in love, or what? Because I am happily “in love” with my boyfriend, and I never once told him I was “falling in love” with him when we were getting to that “in love” point. What’s up with that?

  6. Fergie

    July 24, 2010 at 8:48 AM

    I agree with Sunnyside, MindyM, and LatinLover. Roberto looks and humbleness is refreshing. I’ll take him sweat and all! Sunnyside comments are identical to what I think. Just to add a few more comments … I am still hopeful Ali picked Roberto and R. Steve winning streak of being dead on point has ended as far as the actual ending of who Ali picks or if she picks anyone at all. I have seen a couple of interviews with Ali and she of course is very tight lip with what happens at the end of the Rose Ceremony. She flirts with all of the possibilities even the one that she picks no one. That possibility is too close to her telling the world and breaching her contract though. When Ali was interviewed on “Ellens” show she came out with pep in her step smiling like someone in love to me. Actually during all the interviews I’ve seen she appears happy. Ali lit up in the presence of Roberto and I believe her feelings may have been more than just physical. I read on Ali’s comments on the Bacherlorette that her FS with Roberto they talked, “just talked” until early morning then they snuck out and went to her place on the island. That maybe where the real deal happened if at all.

    Had Frank stayed in the game, I believe it would have came down to Frank and Roberto. Considering how giddy Ali is around Roberto, I believe she would have picked Roberto in the end. Roberto (unfamiliar and she’s not use to) unless she coward out and would have picked Frank in the end who was familiar and safe (that’s exactly what Frank did when he went back to Nichole, he started getting terrified when he kept seeing Ali kissing different guys). Ali is adventusome so that’s why I say she would have picked Roberto (At lease I am hoping she would have been smart enough to do so).

    Steve, I am still hoping that the show planted some boguss plants out there to give you just enough accurate info except the end. Oh and by the way, I too am hoping sweet Chris L. is the next bachelor on a quest with 25 women then we’ll get to see another side of him we didn’t really get a chance to see because we were consume with his grievence.

    P.S.: Whatever the final ending on August 2 … we’ll get to see if Ali picked love and family or once again her career.

  7. MindyM

    July 24, 2010 at 12:16 PM

    I dislike it when people assume that other women are jealous if they say that Chris and Roberto are too good for Ali. What makes anyone think that comments has to do with looks? Some people really get touchy here when it comes to being protective of someone they do not even know. Chill out!

    This is not about looks or being jealous of Ali! I am much older than her, so it’s not like we are in a competition. I just see what I see, that’s all. She seems very immature, superficial and totally not ready to settle down. I have no problem with her looks. She is a pretty girl, more like a Doris Day type as a few have pointed out. Roberto certainly seems to be attracted to her and so does Chris! I question her judgement for falling for a nerdy, insecure, neurotic guy like Frank! Here she has two quality guys in Roberto and Chris, and she breaks down sobbing because pathetic Frank wants to run back to his safety net, otherwise known as Nicole? Come on! She has a lot of growing up to do!

    kbo,

    Thanks for your kind words. You have had a similar experience to Chris and live near him, so one never knows! I am sure you are one of many who have come to love this guy. I don’t get annoyed by Chris talking about his mother, because that’s normal. I lost my father two and half years ago, but he lived to get old and had a full life. It was still difficult. It is always hard to lose a parent, no matter when it happens. Steve loves to tease people about becoming so invested in this show and the people involved, but I can see how it happens. We identify with them and what they have been through in life. We do get emotionally invested, because it’s life being played out right before our eyes. Even if it is manipulated and all that we see is not real, we are still drawn into the intrigue and drama. That’s why this show is still around.

    I hope you find your happiness, whether you meet up with Chris or another great guy.

    While some are hoping that TPTB have found a way to fool Steve, I just don’t see it happening. If I didn’t already know the spoilers, I would think that Ali chooses Roberto. They have this intense attraction that is definitely real. I can see her connection with Chris, but not the kind of physical heat she has with Roberto. Now, that doesn’t always make for a lasting relationship, but it’s a good start!

    The bottom line is that I have no reason to doubt Steve’s sources at this point. They haven’t been wrong yet, so until they are I will have to accept the fact that in the end Ali is single. As Steve said, how she gets there is something that we will have to watch to find out.

  8. CaSurfLady

    July 24, 2010 at 2:12 PM

    I want to know what man she does pick. and Why she let Ty

  9. RUBYDOG

    July 24, 2010 at 9:12 PM

    Gonna keep this short and sweet…
    -Thrilled to be posting on Reality Steve’s Hallowed Ground… .”long time follower, first time “speaker upper,” so to speak…
    -Really don’t get the Frank bashing… Quirky? yes. Someone compared him to Woody Allen like that was a bad thing. Sure, he married his adopted stepdaughter, but before that he was fucking hilarious and he still is a brillian director. I’ll bet 98% of you would put “sense of humor” as the most attractive quality you’re looking for…(I remember Jillian did… and Tristan got a hoot out of Bob…) if not, then thanks for leaving the Franks of the world for people like me…
    -I think Frank was very honest with his exit. I believe RS that he wanted to go earlier. When he was allowed to say his good byes, I think he did it with integrity.
    That’s all. I love this web site and the postings. And whoever turned me on to “Eudie Tuesday,” thank you for that!Don’t really care how this all ends, although I am dreading watching Chris be hurt… My dream is to live on Cape Cod, but I’m married… Otherwise…

  10. CS1972

    July 24, 2010 at 9:59 PM

    @LetsBowl: As far as I know, the Bachelor/ette (Ali, Jake, etc.) can’t say certain things to the contestants, definitely anything related to “falling in love”. I’m pretty sure it’s in their contract, because when the “choice” is made, the Bachelor/ette sometimes says something like “I can finally tell you now, I love you” or whatever. Now as far as the contestants, I guess they can say what they want… I think… didn’t Chris say “I love you” when they were rolling in the grass? I don’t know. I just know the Bach/ette can’t say certain things.

  11. MindyM

    July 25, 2010 at 7:32 PM

    I also had another comment for those who have been critical of Ali for being so upset that Frank left her for his ex-girlfriend. In their eyes, Ali leaving on Jake’s season for her job is pretty much the same thing! I do not agree! It’s one thing for someone to leave because of work, but quite another to leave for a girlfriend/boyfriend. As it happens, I never really believed that Ali left Jake for her job. I thought it was all a clever ploy on behalf of TPTB to set her up to find true happiness as the next Bachelorette.

    What some people also seem to forget is the premise of the show. It’s up to the bachelor/bachelorette to do the choosing. Those who are vying for his/her affections are supposed to be doing so in good faith, not with a backup girlfriend waiting at home in the wings. I have no idea why Frank went on the show, but I do believe that it had nothing whatsoever to do with finding real love. If he wanted to leave sooner because of his feelings for his girlfriend, then maybe he should have found a way to do it or read the fine print in the contract before he signed on the dotted line.

    I don’t think Frank has integrity, is even witty or funny or even remotely appealing. I will gladly leave him for other women. Good luck Nicole! I think he was stupid, selfish, clumsy and unbearably neurotic the whole time he was on the show. I don’t hate him, because he’s not worth the energy. Hopefully, he will now find a real job, maybe manage to get some connections from his stint on the show so that he can actually become a screenwriter and quickly fade into obscurity. At least he made some money going so far on the show, so in his eyes it wasn’t a total loss.

    I will just never understand how Ali could have taken Frank seriously and allowed herself to be devastated by his leaving. Frank would never have a chance against Roberto and Chris and even he knew it! So he made the safe choice. God bless and good riddance.

    I also think that we should not think that we really know Roberto and Chris. As appealing as they appear to be, we haven’t met them and had a real conversation with either of them. No one is perfect. In that sense, I think Steve is right when he says that people become hugely invested in these people, as they we really know them. Roberto and Chris are two of the most popular, most well-liked bachelors ever to grace this show and that is quite an accomplishment. If we saw them in real life, we might not put them on a pedestal.

    I think everyone is going to come out of this just fine. People shouldn’t worry about Chris, because he has gotten his feet wet in the dating scene, even if it was in front of millions of viewers. Now he can move on and eventually find real love. Roberto has his own career goals, is confident and grounded and will definitely have no problem attracting tons of women. Ali will get her shot at a career in show biz. So all’s well that ends well!

  12. salina30

    July 26, 2010 at 8:36 PM

    Just listened to your interview on Olivia Wilder Times… great interview! You are so right though, I never really watch the show any more I just come straight to your site and read it. I love how you input your opinion and tell exactly the way it goes down. Truly an unrealistic show and I’m glad you’re able to show people that. Keep it up!

  13. TravelGuy

    July 26, 2010 at 9:10 PM

    Steve…I just have to say THANK YOU for doing your recaps. My wife loves the show. Me? Never liked it. Alas, I live in a loft so there is no escaping when the show is on. However, while she watches I crank up the tunes in the headphones and read your blog. Why follow your blog if I can’t stand the show? Because your take and humor on the ridiculousness of the show is GREAT and I find myself cracking up several times while reading each post. Keep up the great work!!

  14. d.kraker

    July 27, 2010 at 5:36 PM

    Hi, I’ve just started reading your blog, but have watched every Bachelor/ette show. It’s getting worse every year. When watching The Men Tell All last night, they showed bloopers of the show. The guys and Ali were themselves. They were not robots. It was hilarious when Ali saw the rat. Why can’t they show things like that? That’s what I would like to see throughout the whole season, people just being themselves. Everyone says the exact same thing every year. If I hear “amazing” one more time, well, I don’t know what I might do. Anyway, keep up the good work.

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