For all your “Bachelor Pad” spoilers, click on the link at the top of the page under the banner. It’s safe to say at this point that my sources were dead on for this show.
It’s pretty safe to assume that “Bachelor Pad” is starting to build some momentum. The ratings have been decent for a summer show in its first run, and I think the response has been what I expected. However, I still am shocked at how many people are surprised at what they’re seeing. They’re upset because this show isn’t like the “Bachelor” or “Bachelorette”. Huh? Who ever said it was going to be? These shows couldn’t possibly be any more different. Other than being produced by the same people and contestants being familiar and Chris Harrison re-appearing, this show is absolutely nothing like the “Bachelor/ette”, nor did it ever try and present itself to be. It is what it is, and that’s smut. At least it’s not apologizing for it.
Another thing I’ve been kinda shocked to hear is how many people take everything these people are saying on the show as the absolute 100% truth. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it 1,000 times: it’s a television show. These contestants know what they can and can’t say to make the show more interesting. So when Wes says that he loves Gia, and Gia can’t stop gushing about him in return, doesn’t mean they’re dating in real life. A lot of you asked last week after I told you Gia is no longer with her boyfriend if that means her and Wes are dating. Ummmm, no. Wes and Gia will never date as far as I know. Not because they’re not attracted to each other or don’t get along because they most certainly do, I’m just telling you those two will probably never be serious. I’m sure they’ll always be friends and maybe on some drunk weekend they’ll hook up sometime, but as far as them ever being a couple, it’s not going to happen. Kind of logistically impossible for them to make it work. I know Wes cares for her and maybe if they lived closer it’d be different, but it’s not happening. Mark my word. Plus, when you’re dealing with these people, their idea of what a “relationship” is couldn’t be more different than what the average person considers one.
Ok, about next week’s questionnaire on the show, I thought I explained it pretty well, but if not, here’s next week’s sneak peak that they’re promoting on how it’ll work:
So as I mentioned, each person fills their answers out anonymously, then off camera, Chris and Melissa (or whatever her role is on this show) tally up what persons name appeared the most times after each question. Then, when they ask them as a group, they hold up a card with that person’s name, and whoever gets the most right, wins. So, if you’re filling out your questionnaire privately, and it says, “Who has the worst boob job?” you may write down “Gwen”. But when you’re all sitting there in front of each other, and the same question is asked, you’re trying to guess who the consensus answer will be, not just hold up the card with the answer you wrote down, because you want to get the most right. The consensus answer for that particular question you’ll see is “Elizabeth”. Pretty much exactly like they’ve done on “Survivor” in a few seasons. Basically it’s just another way for them to create drama in the house. And I’m sure getting labeled as the dumbest or having the worst boob job, among other things, will definitely make the girls start crying again. As if we haven’t seen enough of that already.
The show started out with Gia confronting Nikki about her changing her vote from Craig M. to Kiptyn. Which is still very odd to me since this is the same Gia that promised Craig the rose before giving in to Wes. Do I think there was producer manipulation behind her change of heart? Of course I do. But even still with Gia’s gaffe, Nikki could’ve righted the ship by just voting Kiptyn, it would’ve been a 5-5 tie, and Gia would’ve voted Kiptyn out, giving the Outsiders an advantage in the house. So both Nikki and Gia screwed up. It’s on both of them. But once again, lets be real about something here. Minus already knowing the spoilers, did anyone honestly think that this show would let Kiptyn be voted off in episode 2? Hey, I’m not saying they’re fixing a game show, and considering there’s a $250,000 prize at stake they better not be, but that’s not to say they aren’t doing things behind the scenes to plant ideas in contestants heads to make them vote a certain way. I’m sorry, Kiptyn should’ve been gone last week. TWO different scenarios had him gone: Gia giving Craig the rose, or Nikki sticking to her vote of voting Craig out. And BOTH don’t happen? Really? Hmmmm, so one of the most widely popular fan favorites sticks around, and one of the more despised and hated ones with bad hair goes home. Gee, how convenient.
Hey everybody! Melissa Rycroft is here to tell us about the rules of the Kissing Contest! They must have pages and pages of legal documents to go over since lining up and making out with a bunch of guys really seems like something you’d need to go over for at least five seconds. Glad you’re here, Melissa. I never would’ve known how Kissing Contest rules would’ve worked without you. Once the contest is announced, Gia is already getting squirmy because of her boyfriend she had back home at the time of taping. She doesn’t know if this is a good idea for her to participate. Well, that’s why Natalie is there. To offer her words of wisdom regarding Gia and the contest. Natalie: “Just get over it and make out.” Couldn’t have said it better myself. Natalie sure is the voice of reason in that house. And the house playmate. Here’s one thing about Natalie I’ll give her credit for: At least she’s blunt and honest with everyone and doesn’t hide the fact of who she is. Call her what you want, but that’s her. She likes to have a good time, she likes to drink, and she likes to hook up with guys. Plain and simple. You may not like her style or her forwardness, but at least that’s who she is and doesn’t try and hide it. Unlike Elizabeth, who told Jake he couldn’t even kiss her until she was his final one yet, well, we all know about her act by now.
So the girls are blindfolded and brought out first so they can taste six different guys saliva within seconds of each other. You know what Natalie calls that? Saturday night. So it’s basically a consensus that the Weatherpriss has the sexual prowess of a skunk. I don’t think any of the girls liked the way he kissed. Or how they had to get on their knees to kiss him. Not a great night for the kid, yet he was like a pig in slop so excited he got to make out with 7 women. Congrats dude. About six more than you’ll ever kiss again in your life based on that episode. I think Weatherweenie might have solidified his spot in “Bachelorette” history as “The Least Sexually Attractive Person To Appear on Two Different Shows”. Don’t believe me? Just ask the 39 year old. Or Elizabeth. Yeah, lets just say he didn’t really kill with the ladies.
Apparently my kissing needs a little work considering Dave Good was voted as the best kisser by the girls and that guy looked like he was in a CPR training course and had to bring some dummy back to life. The guys mouth practically swallowed everyone else’s, yet Krisily’s insides couldn’t stop getting all soft and gooey and Natalie said she had butterflies in her stomach and weak knees. That was a head scratcher. Can’t wait til my next kiss where I absolutely start to devour someone’s face and see how much they like it. Or dislike it.
You know the other thing I noticed, was that of the six guys left, three had facial hair (Wes, Kovacs, Dave) and three didn’t (Kiptyn, Jesse Beck, and Weatherteenageboy). So, wouldn’t it have been pretty obvious to the ladies to narrow down who they were kissing? It wasn’t that hard to figure out. Wes probably tasted like a bottle of Jack, Kovacs tasted like wine, Dave probably had a bottle of Scope, Jesse Beck tasted like whatever Natalie had for breakfast, Weatherleprechaun I’m assuming tasted like his Flinstones vitamins, and I don’t know what Kiptyn’s taste would’ve been like, but my guess is it reeked of $250,000. Just a guess.
When it was Tenley’s turn to kiss everyone, I couldn’t believe what I saw, but believe it or not, she was giggling the whole time. No way! Tenley? You’re kidding, right? The third straight episode that didn’t put Tenley in the most flattering light. Why was everyone else able to compose themselves while kissing the guys and Tenley acted like a 5th grader on the playground during her first kiss? I’ll never know. And wow, what a shocker, Tenley thought Kiptyn’s kissing was the best, and Elizabeth really liked Jesse’s. Never saw that one coming. In addition, I’m having a real hard time believing that was Kiptyn and Tenley’s first kiss. As I mentioned months ago, those two had seen each other on numerous occasions before “Bachelor Pad” filmed. I’m guessing they’d kissed before. Or not, considering Kiptyn probably knew that’s as far as it would get, so why get yourself all worked up?
I have to take Natalie to task on something. Last night when the contest started, she made no bones about the fact she had no problem kissing every guy by saying “I would make out with everyone in the house for 20 bucks.” Bullsh**, Natalie. I don’t believe that for a second. You’d make out with everyone in the house and pay THEM 20 bucks. So you’ve got Ashley who doesn’t want to compromise her position as a teacher by going on a show and carry six guy’s spit in her mouth (which I respect), then in the middle you’ve got Gia who does it, but isn’t really interested in it at all and becomes a crying mess halfway through, to then the complete other end of the spectrum with Natalie who’d make out with Chris Harrison if he was put in front of her. Hey, go back and what I wrote during the end of Jason’s season regarding Natalie in case you forgot. The girl isn’t above doing anything with anyone related to this show. Good for her. At least she’s not fake.
I just didn’t quite understand why Gia started then quit after having all the guys kiss her. She was so appalled by some of the other girls kissing it brought her to tears, yet, she says “I would think the guys would vote for who kisses the best.” Uhhhh, yeah. Exactly. It’s a kissing contest. They’re probably not too hip on the girl that doesn’t use tongue and turns her cheek away after the intial lip lock. Just watching the Weathernerd go up and kiss girls he has no chance with couldn’t help but remind me once again of “Revenge of the Nerds” when the Alpha Beta’s held their contest:
Lewis (or Weathernerd in this case): Hi, Betty.
Betty (hot cheerleader): A nerd? I’m not kissing a nerd.
Lewis: You have to. I paid my money.
Betty (as he leans in to kiss her): It’s time for my break.
Stan (Betty’s bf brings in a short, fat, ugly woman instead): Kiss this, nerd.