-Rose ceremony time. Shawntel, Ashley, and Emily have roses. Brad, the floor is yours. “Very important to me…crossroads…care for all of you…can I see myself with you as my wife…or at least my pretend wife for the time being until we inevitably break up after the tabloid stories get completely out of hand and neither one of us can take each other seriously.”
Michelle: Next week, maybe she’ll tie Brad up, stick a ball gag in his mouth, and spray whip cream all over him.
Alli: I don’t want to say her fun bags are what’s keep her around, but, her fun bags are what’s keeping her around.
Britt: Ummm, yeah. Congrats Britt on making it this far. Can’t Nordhorn her because she’s had two steamy make out sessions with Brad. Nordhorn never took his hands out of his pants pockets.
Jackie: She’s barely spoken since her “Train” date. I think she’s still traumatized.
“Ladies, Brad. It’s the final rose tonight. When you’re ready. Lisa, Marissa, and Chantal. Hmmmmm, tough one here Brad. America will be on the edge of their seat in suspense on this decision. And I must apologize to Reality Steve for not acknowledging him on Valentine’s radio show Monday morning even though I was directly asked about Reality Steve’s spoilers. Really, I can’t help myself. I’ve been told not to address you, Steve. I’m really sorry. I just have to give the canned answer I do every time when interviewers ask about the spoilers of the show.”
Chan-cleavage: Since her chest region has become such a scene stealer, just a few to lighten the mood:
Why do men call the part of a woman’s body, between her breasts
and hips, the waist?
Because there’s room for another set of breasts there.
Why do women have breasts?
So men will talk to them.
How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.
Ba-dum-bump! I’ll be here all week. Be sure to tip your waitress.