-Britts 1-on-1 date is up next, and while she’s getting ready, Ashley basically offers her up the kiss of death. Ashley: “Well, at least there’s no rose on this date. You’re coming home for sure.” Obviously they made sure they aired that comment so the people who didn’t know what was about to happen would be surprised. So Brad picks Britt up and tells her, “I’ve picked women up by helicopters. I’ve picked women up in fancy cars. I’ve picked women up in boats. But I’ve never picked a woman up in a yacht.” As there’s a yacht in full view of the shore. Yeah, I’m guessing she kinda already saw that thing as you were walking along the shores. Interesting note about this part of the date that they didn’t show: In case you couldn’t tell when they went cliff jumping, Britt is not the greatest swimmer in the world. So when they show her and Brad swimming out to the yacht, what they didn’t show you was that Britt actually struggled with her swimming and a boat came and picked her up about half way there to bring her to the yacht. Don’t know why they left that part out. Maybe they just felt bad for all the emaciated people in America and didn’t want them to be traumatized watching Britt nearly drown to death. Not sure.
-Of course, all the women are standing at the shore watching Britt swim/get picked up by a boat out to the yacht, and are jealous. Michelle is front and center leading that charge once again but gets off the line of the night in her ITM. Michelle: “Not only do I not see them getting engaged, I don’t know even know if I even see them friending each other on Facebook.” Man, it’s gonna suck with Michelle gone. Lets just hope the producers are smart enough to cast her for “Bachelor Pad 2”. I mean at this point, I’d be stunned if she wasn’t on that show. She is TV gold, and unless she has some straight-to-video D-list movie she’s making right now, I can’t see any way where they wouldn’t cast her on it. The way she can ham it up for the cameras, she looks smoking hot in a bikini, and I’m sure she’s not against hooking up with any of the previous contestants, why not cast her? Maybe Brad and Britt won’t become Facebook friends. Maybe they will. At the very least, couldn’t he just poke her?
-After swimming/being helped out the yacht by another boat, the yacht takes them to Little Bay where they go cliff jumping. At first I thought this would be really cool for them. Then I saw how scared Britt was and I felt bad. Not because I was really wanting her to overcome her fears or anything. I was just scared that the impact of her 75lb body crashing into the water might shatter every bone in her body. I guess she made it out ok. Whew. Got worried there for a second. Now these two swim to shore, or at least they got to shore somehow. Maybe Britt had to jump on Brad’s back and he had to carry her there like a “Baywatch” life guard. Whatever the case, they start talking on the beach together, and Britt basically seals her own fate. “I’m not very good at showing emotion.” Britt, don’t you know Brad has been through 3 years of intense therapy? He’s really learned about all these inner feelings he has and if you can’t reciprocate that, then you are no good to him. Then Brad bottom lines this whole date for us: “I’m in the most romantic setting in the world, but I don’t have that urge to just grab her and kiss her.” Congrats Britt. You may now join Alli in the friend zone. If Brad can’t even bring himself to make out with you, then you lose, because he’s practically making babies with Chantal at this point.
-So as this date gets painfully more uncomfortable, time for them to go back to the yacht for dinner. How’d they get there? I bet I know. I bet Brad and Britt stood at the shores of the water, he picked up like a pebble, and just threw her all the way to the yacht. You seeing him helping her up the steps was after all that had just happened. I know it. Anyway, they get to dinner and Brad pulls out her chair for her and the expression on his face is priceless. He’s looking off into the distance, probably has his inner clock ticking in his head on when he’s gonna send her home, and he couldn’t look any less interested if he tried. Man, this guy is really improving on his outward emotions. By the looks of things, it seemed like if he had the chance to chuck her overboard, he would’ve. But unfortunately, that didn’t happen and we didn’t get to see Britt doggy paddle her way back to shore. Even with Britt not in a bikini looking malnourished with her ribs showing, Brad still isn’t feeling it with her. “It’s confusing why I didn’t feel that romantic spark with Britt.” I’m certainly not confused. Might have something to do with the fact she exudes the sexual promiscuity of a nun.
-The awkwardness continues. I think Emily and Britt win the award in the house for “Worst Conversationalists”. With Alli a close 2nd. Brad is just killing me with this one sided conversation talking to himself.
Brad: “Fun experience so far. (Looks into the sky) Nice night.”
Britt just nods her head in agreement and is in 100% agreement that it is indeed a nice night out. Well at least they agree on something. Brad continues with this painful mess. “Look Britt, I think the world of you. Any guy would be lucky to have you. There’s a ‘but’ in here though. I liked our conversation, I liked spending the day with you, but here’s where the ‘but’ comes in. I don’t know if we have these feelings for each other. I don’t see a future with you and I. I was crucified last time for stringing people along. I’m sorry, but it’s time to say goodbye.” Translation: I like big boobs. Needless to say, Britt’s self confidence and inner soul is probably shattered after having to listen to that, so the dingy comes and picks her up, takes her to shore, then she packs in front of the women before leaving the house. Although, the suitcase she was packing in her bedroom was not the same suitcase we see her walking out the door with. Great editing job again fellas. I’m pretty sure Britt will never talk to or date another man for the rest of her life after that beat down she just received.