Reality Steve

Bachelorette Ashley Spoilers

More “Reader Emails” and Confirming Ashleys First 1-on-1 Date Guy

I’m actually a big fan of yours, but it made me feel bad to hear how much Emily suffered after reading/hearing (from you or sources that gave her your information)….about Brad supposedly spending Thanksgiving with Chantal. It was apparently a big blow for Emily. My question is, I know at the time you thought you were reporting the truth, but on retrospect, is there any level of guilt associated with publishing items that you don’t have 100% guaranteed proof of? At what point do you go from being a blogger, to being part of the ‘media’ / paraparrazi who reports publicly things they aren’t 100% sure of? Will knowing that you caused someone unnecessary pain, all in the effort to ‘scoop’ a TV show…make you pause and handle future coverage more responsibly in the future? Now, don’t get me wrong, I know that Brad, Emily, and the lock and caboodle of them face this when they choose to go on a TV show, but still, don’t you feel some personal sense of fault for causing Emily (and therefore Brad) pain over an incorrect report about them/him?

Comment: I don’t know what else you’d like me to do. I don’t know these people personally, so outside of an apology and promising I will buy them a gift from their wedding registry if they ever get married, what else can I do? Send them flowers every day?

I honestly don’t think me reporting about the Thanksgiving dinner had much of an effect on their relationship. I’m sure she saw it, brought it up to Brad, he told her it was false, and they moved on. It’s kinda easy to disprove if you’re Brad, you know? Either he was there or he wasn’t, and obviously he wasn’t. So I can’t imagine Emily kept telling him, “No, I think you were there” after he told her he wasn’t. Seems like an argument that couldn’t have lasted more than a few minutes. Plus, I’m guessing he spoke to her on Thanksgiving day at some point. Would she really think he was calling her from Chantal’s vacation home?

As for the guaranteed proof comment, I’ll never have guaranteed proof of anything that I report because I wasn’t there and I don’t work on the show. So of course nothing I report is 100% guaranteed, but when it all pretty much comes true, it’s damn near close. I just trust enough people and trust my sources enough to know that things I report are definitely going to happen. Did I witness them with my own two eyes? No. And I never will. But just look at the track record to know I don’t need to witness stuff with my own two eyes to know it’s going to happen. It’s just the Thanksgiving dinner story was one of the major things I was wrong about.

My question is: Has there ever been a contestant on the show (not the lead) who was all packed, and ready to head out to the mansion, or even enroute, when something happened in their life, such as a sudden, unexpected death in the family, or they got violently ill and couldn’t compete, that made them have to drop out at the last minute? Do the producers have a contingency plan where they can call up someone who had tried out for the show, but didn’t make the final round, and have them take the place of the contestant who had to leave? Or do they just not fill that vacancy? And would that person have to honor a contract even though they never made it to LA, or saw the bachelor/ette, or any other contestants? Just curious.

Comment: As for the example they provided above, I have no idea. I’m not there. I do know that if there’s 25 guys/girls on a season, in the three days leading up to the meet and greet, there are more than 25 people flown out. They always have extra people there just in case, not to mention maybe they haven’t decided exactly who are the last few they want to cast. I told the story a while back of someone I knew who was flown out to be on the show three days before the meet and greet, did all her photos, did her ITM’s, didn’t want to say what they told her to say on camera, and the morning of the meet and greet, told her she didn’t make the show, they handed her an envelope of money, and sent her home. And that season still had 25 girls on it. So they definitely bring out more people than you see on the show in case they decide at the last minute someone isn’t “cooperating”, or someone gets cold feet, or they decide they just don’t want someone.

Hey Steve,

I just read your Friday column and saw that you have a german fan, and that’s the reason, why I have to write this email – to show you, that there are more fans from Europe!

Your german fan already wrote that “Der Bachelor” and “Die Bachelorette” weren’t a huge success, but not only because of the concept, I think it’s also a cultural thing that this idea of the show doesn’t fit – at least in the german speaking region.

But I like the American original. It’s fun to watch and it’s even more fun to read your blog afterwards, which I’m loving since Jillian’s season. 🙂 It’s funny, witty and critical, and to tell you the truth: I don’t care who your sources are. 😉 For me, as a non native english speaking person it’s also a little practice of contemporary “street American”. Can’t wait for the men in Ashley’s season.

I’m from Austria which is the tiny country between Germany and Italy, next to Switzerland. I just thought I need explain, ’cause I’ve met a lot of ignorant Americans (don’t want to say that you’re one of them!!) when I went to university in California. They always mixed up Austria with Australia and started talking about kangaroos. I had to use the austrian expatriate Arnold Schwarzenegger (not his fan!) as my weapon to explain where I’m from (prior to his job as californian governor). When they realized I’m talking about Austria, they started singing songs from “The Sound of Music” which I’ve never ever heard of before living in the US.

Comment: Jamaica, Anguilla, and now Austria. Foreigners around the world! Email me and let me know where you’re reading this from. I think it’s fascinating that people in other countries are actually reading this. Amazing.

Send your emails to: To follow me on Twitter, it’s: Or join my Reality Steve Facebook Fan Page. See you next week.

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  1. dori

    March 25, 2011 at 10:09 AM

    Looking forward to your roundup of Survivor, AI & DWTS.
    Have fun in LA

  2. SherryfromD

    March 25, 2011 at 11:24 AM

    Hey Steve, you didn’t answer #3 of the person who had 4 questions on page 2. Was curious to hear your answer on that one:

    3) In terms of Bachelor Pad, do you think we’ll ever see any ‘leads’ come on the show? Obviously a lot of them are single due to this shows ‘amazing’ track record of success.

  3. mja

    March 25, 2011 at 12:31 PM

    These are the most interesting questions and answers since the Reader Emails column began, imo.

    @SherryfromD, you might want to email him with your question. He has said in the past that he never reads the comments to his blog posts.

  4. Ellieanne

    March 26, 2011 at 10:44 PM

    My daughter reads you in Hungary. Her husband is a Lt. Col. in the USAF stationed at the NATO base in Papa, Hungary. They don’t get Air Force Television, but I do the old fashioned DVD recording of the show (and others) for them and send them the DVD’s as they have their American DVD and TV system. She reads your column, then watches the DVD’s a few weeks after the shows have aired (I record 4+ weeks, then send the DVD which takes another 3-4 weeks to get to her), so basically, by the time she gets the DVD’s the show is over here, but she loves seeing it anyway. She can’t log into CBS, ABC or NBC from Hungary as “that content is not available in your geographic area”. The networks block foreign countries ISP’s from logging in to their sites. So, you can add an American in Hungary to your list of people who follow your column for sure, plus I do know she’s passed on the link to your site to a lot of other American AF wives in Germany, England, Italy and Austria!

  5. JenJen

    March 30, 2011 at 12:05 PM

    @mja Regardless of what he says, he does read these comments. My roommate had a field day telling Steve off in the comments for what she called his”arrogant attitude” and he ended up banning her from the site.

  6. dg

    April 1, 2011 at 10:10 AM

    West Lee no longer works at the Attorney General’s office in Columbia, SC. He left his job to be on the show. His last day was in mid-March and his office is cleared out. I hope the producers check those facts.

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