-Rose ceremony time. Bentley, William, and Mickey already with roses. Ashley, the floor is yours. “I remember what it feels like to be where you guys are (6th consecutive season we’ve heard that line)…it’s not easy…stick with it and have faith in the process (you know, because we’ve had two marriages in 21 seasons, so who wouldn’t like those odds?)…after this week of dates…I think my husband is standing in this room…because, you know, most normal people know who their husband will be after a week of knowing them. I’m so ready to be married to any of you after a 7 day courtship!”
West: Thank god he’s only around two more episodes so the talk about his ex-wife in emails and the media will finally end. Enough already.
Constantine: For a guy who lasts as long as he does, he’s gotten pretty much zero camera time in the first two episodes.
Ryan P.: Same goes for Ryan, at least this episode. He was nowhere. Maybe he was checking the solar panels at the mansion all day and was busy.
Ben C.: When Ashley was interviewed back during the Flash Mob video date, she gave Ben a 4 for his dancing. If he broke out the “throw the dice” move, I’d say that’s 4 too many.
Nick: My oblique workout from Friday is still hurting me this morning.
Ames: Yet another guy that lasts long in this show that’s been given very little camera time.
Lucas: Does Lucas even know he was on this show for a month?
Jeff: The mask is still on, he swims in it, sleeps in it, and drops a deuce in it. Laughingstock.
JP: Says, “That’s what I’m talking about” when she says his name. C’mon. Like you didn’t know you were getting one?
Chris: If Chris and Matt switched places, nobody would’ve even known. Or cared.
Ben F: So the look-a-likes I’m getting most about Ben? Rafael Nadal and/or a caveman.
“Ashley, gentlemen. It’s the final rose tonight. When you’re ready. Ever noticed how I favor the women on this show? When it’s the ‘Bachelor’, I’ll always acknowledge the women first. ‘Ladies, Brad, it’s the final rose tonight.’ Then on this show, it’s ‘Ashley, gentlemen, it’s the final rose tonight.’ Just thought I’d point that out since I’m a complete shill for the show and will do and say whatever they tell me to. Like we almost shut down production because of Bentley.” Sure you didn’t. Might have been the single biggest exaggeration Chris has ever told on this show. And that’s saying something.
Blake: A dentistry marriage. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Back tomorrow with your spoilers for the rest of the season. As I said, it’s where I stand. Any “Are you sure?” emails won’t be answered. There’s no point because nothing I say will convince you otherwise, only what airs on Aug. 1st will. Send your emails to: email@example.com. To follow me on Twitter, it’s: www.twitter.com/RealitySteve. Or join my Reality Steve Facebook Fan Page. See you tomorrow.