Reality Steve

Bachelor Pad 2

The “Bachelorette” Recap – 6/20/11 Including Which “Bachelor Pad” Duo is Currently Dating

-Cocktail party time and Ashley Downer has reared her ugly head. “Yesterdays 2-on-1 date made me insecure.” No, really? I couldn’t tell. Actually, I don’t think it was that date that made you insecure. I think it was the day you signed on the dotted line to become the “Bachelorette” is when your insecurities started kicking in. So when Ashleys insecurities are flaring, who do you think is the first guy to step in and calm her down? Ryan, of course. He pulls her aside and, well, gives us Ryan. “First night…rocketship…I’m totally into you…we haven’t even had a 1-on-1…looking forward to what’s ahead…” Ashley: “We haven’t had a 1-on-1, but our relationship is where it should be.” As I said in the beginning of the season when I released the spoilers, it is really bizarre that Ryan gets the first impression rose, yet doesn’t get a 1-on-1 date until episode seven. What’s the point of that? I guess that’s the reason we see Ryan return in Fiji after getting dumped in Taiwan. He feels he got slighted or something and makes his plea for her to give him another chance. Too bad it doesn’t work. Ryan returns in Fiji and leaves in Fiji. Sure makes for a hell of a setup for him to possibly be the next “Bachelor” though.

-Next up is Constant Sleep. He really likes Ashley cuz “you just seem real.” Ashley: “I am real. I’m the biggest dork and goofy girl. I’m just normal.” Weeeeelllll, minus all the glaring insecurities that have completely torpedoed the first six episodes of this season. If you call that normal, so be it. You certainly haven’t looked normal for the first six episodes wailing on and on and on about a guy that left you after two weeks. As I said, I’ll never understand the women that pine after guy who clearly doesn’t want them. Oh sure, I know it happens all the time, but that doesn’t mean I have to understand it. Not to mention Bentley is a divorced Mormon with a 2 year old that lives half way across the US from where she is and Ashley, well, lets just say she’s not even in the same ballpark of religious beliefs as he is, so I don’t see how it could’ve worked anyway. Usually the “Men Tell All” episodes are quite boring and nothing ever gets answered, but as long as Bentley shows up, this will definitely be one of the more interesting ones considering we have no idea what’s gonna come out of this guys mouth. He hasn’t said a word yet (because he can’t), and basically he’s the one guy everyone wants to hear from at this point. We’ve heard Ashleys thoughts non stop about the guy, but as much as all of you out there hate Bentley, you are waiting with baited breath to finally hear what he has to say for himself. I know I am.

-Constant Sleep basically shows us why he’s not chosen in the end as they let us see him talking to the guys saying, “I need to know where I stand with her before hometowns. Family is a big deal to me. I can’t say for certain that I’m ready to marry this girl.” Yep. Well, at least he got a nice trip to Fiji out of all this. Can’t complain about that. And who knows? Maybe he got to lay pipe before getting kicked to the curb. Happens a lot on this show. Then of course we had get our obligatory alone time with Ashley and JP since, well you know, they’re engaged. Ashley: “Do you think you can see us in the future?” JP: “Right now, it doesn’t feel like there’s anybody else. I can feel it.” Oh and don’t you just wish she could feel it to. How badly do you think he just wants her to touch it? Just once. Please. Pretty please. Just the tip. Ha ha.

-Ashley has her deliberation with Chris which was all about Bentley of course. She needs closure and Chris tells her “I’m gonna do everything I can to make something happen for you.” Translation: I didn’t do sh**. Our producers knew this was going to be a storyline from the moment he left and that’s why they basically begged the guy to come back on the show since it made for better TV. And taking no for an answer wasn’t an option, so that’s why we’ll see him show up back in Hong Kong next week for the most uneventful return ever. I’m telling you people, I can already hear your response after next week. “That was it? He came back for that?” It’s coming. Expect the worst so you won’t be disappointed. I guarantee it’s gonna be pretty uneventful.

-Rose ceremony time. Ben and Blake already with roses. Ashley, the floor is yours. “Learned how important honesty is…my promise is I will be honest with you…and I hope you do the same with me…even though none of you guys have a clue what I’m saying in my ITM’s about wanting to see Bentley again, so I guess that honesty comment I just made makes absolutely no sense…”

Constant Sleep: One of the strangest people to ever make the overnight dates. Not because he’s strange. But just because I see absolutely nothing between these two.
Lucas: Is still sporting wood over his simulated golfing lesson. Hey Lucas, you might wanna work on keeping your left arm straight on your backswing. That wasn’t the greatest example you gave her. Your head moved, your body swayed, wrists cocked much too early, and your left arm was bent. But hey, what do I know as an 18 handicap?
JP: In honor of Ames, he decided to wear pink to the rose ceremony. He left the drool cup at the hotel at least.
Ames: Which way did he go? Which way did he go? Dammit, for the life of me I can’t remember which cartoon character used to say that all the time? Was it from Bugs Bunny when he was racing the tortoise?
Mickey: An ass kicking at the hands of JP, and now one week away from being gone. Is it just me, or does Mickey give off the vibe he doesn’t give two sh**s about this show or Ashley?

“Ashley, gentleman, it’s the final rose tonight. When you’re ready. I’ll be on my phone feverishly trying to get Bentley to meet us in Hong Kong and pretend like it was all my doing when in actuality, I didn’t do sh**.

Ryan: Mr. Happy Pants isn’t even fazed by receiving the last rose. For all he cares, in his mind, it was the first rose. The eternal optimist lives to see another day.

-So Nick is sent packing and Ashley doesn’t even have the courtesy to walk him to his car, just like she didn’t for West last week. Man, Bentley has turned her into a cold hearted wench. Lets hope when he makes his “dot, dot, dot” a period next week, that’ll all change. Soooooo corny. Sorry to see Nick go. We hardly knew ya, big guy. Here’s what I know about Nick: He’s in phenomenal shape, can do push ups with Ashley on his back, and could basically throw her over his shoulder or into his pocket when he’s done with her. Something tells me Nick could’ve split Ashley in half. Maybe it’s better these two didn’t end up together.

Send your emails to: steve@realitysteve.com. To follow me on Twitter, it’s: www.twitter.com/RealitySteve. Or join my Reality Steve Facebook Fan Page. See you Friday.

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63 Comments

63 Comments

  1. Sunnyside422

    June 23, 2011 at 12:01 PM

    Since we can’t have JP as the new Bachelor (unless they break up really fast), my vote is for Blake. Kinda cute, interesting, has personality…not too far out there…has a good career. Think the contestants would find him likable.

    Maybe rethinking my first choice of Ryan. He might just be too sugary sweet. Wonder if all that smiling and glad handing is genuine. Course we don’t get to see much of any of them with that Lion Head’s constant referencing. God let him be gone…for good!

  2. Fade2Black

    June 23, 2011 at 12:23 PM

    I want them to pick the next bachelor from any place but Ashley’s season. I don’t see any of them so far being great material. Hope they cast someone new. Doesn’t have to be a former contestant.

  3. mlou21

    June 23, 2011 at 3:29 PM

    I saw a youtube video of Michelle Money doing a hair tutorial. Sorry if this has already been asked. Her friend was curling her hair and she said something along the lines of, ‘I may or may not have extensions…don’t tell Jake!’ Have you heard anything about the two of them dating?

  4. jenniferboston1

    June 23, 2011 at 5:55 PM

    I know for a fact, 100% sure, that Michelle Money has hair extensions. I like hers, much better than Ashley H’s!!!!!

  5. Athena

    June 23, 2011 at 7:12 PM

    Michelle Money has someone named Jake Thompson do her hair. That’s probably who she was referring to when she mentioned “Jake”.

  6. porchlight13

    June 23, 2011 at 7:50 PM

    Steve thanks for making me laugh. Lulu bell I was thinking the same thing.

  7. jessica1

    June 24, 2011 at 1:03 AM

    VibeCat: I agree w/ another poster, Mickey has a wee bit of Ray Liotta in him but for my money, I’ve always thought he’s a ringer for Clive Owen. But Clive is yummy.

    Hey Steve. I’m going to nit-pick on’ya. In this last page of your post, when you recall the Chris Harrison pre-rose-ceremony discussion with Ashley. In that paragraph, you say, “Our producers knew this was going to be a storyline from the moment …..”

    For someone who gets questioned constantly by folks as to whether you are a mole for Fleiss, drumming up chatter about the show, you may want to revisit your punctuation, quotes and plural pronouns. I’m a little rummy from having insomnia but it reads like you are in cahoots w/ ABC!

  8. gigie

    June 24, 2011 at 5:11 AM

    Sam the Sheepdog, Looney Tunes.

  9. njdiva

    June 24, 2011 at 8:51 AM

    im gonna guess that it’s definitely Gia and Graham!!!! def. the 2 hottest in the house =)

  10. georgiegirl

    June 24, 2011 at 9:51 AM

    Not that you actually asked this, but the original quote is from “Of Mice and Men” 🙂

    This is one of only two shows I watch (TV rots your brain, don’t ya know?)- this and Wipeout. Mostly for the same reasons.

  11. scrantonicity

    June 26, 2011 at 8:38 PM

    This season is a snoozefest. The Bachelor is always so much better than the Bachelorette…25 crazy women fighting over one guy wins hands down in comparison to 25 guys/1 girl. They try hard to create drama with these guys, but guys just don’t work that way. Bring back the crazy chicks!

  12. CC

    June 27, 2011 at 10:31 AM

    Vibecat, I think Mickey looks like Dylan McDermott.

  13. momx3

    June 30, 2011 at 7:41 PM

    Anyone noticed how BOW LEGGED she is???

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