Reality Steve

Bachelor Ben Spoilers

The Cast Arrives in Belize & Your Reality Roundup Including “Reader Emails”

In case you don’t follow him on Twitter, which is a lot of you considering he has only 13,000 Followers (20k less than me in case you’re counting), “Bachelor” creator Mike Fleiss had this tweet on Tuesday:

“Every year, some girl or guy on the show thinks they can outsmart my amazing team of producers. Good luck with that.”

Do I know what he’s talking about? Well, I know one thing it COULD be. If that’s it, then yeah, I do know what he’s talking about. If it’s not, well, then we have two “scandals” on our hands this season – the one I’m well aware of and the one he’s talking about. Only time will tell what this tweet is referring to, but I’m pretty sure I know what it is. However, I don’t have the full details of it yet. Been getting many different versions of the story, so until I know for sure what the deal is, I don’t want to report anything. Stay tuned.

The cast and crew arrived in Belize yesterday, and even the local paper thought enough to reference me in a column posted today. I guess they get some credit for referencing where they get their info, but it’d be nice to actually link to me. Do you think any person reading this in Belize has a clue who Reality Steve is? Probably not. Wouldn’t hurt to throw a link in their under my name, wouldn’t it? Guess so. Anyway, here’s today’s column:

ABC’s The Bachelor Filming in San Pedro

Even though their backs are to the camera, there are six women remaining. Some I’ve identified, and some I haven’t, but am well aware of who they are. UPDATE: Ha ha. Looks like the Bachelor producers already got to this publication and had them remove the pics of the women. Unreal. Get a grip. I’m gonna spoil everything in a month or so anyway. Let em’ have their day in the sun. Probably gonna hold on to those women for the time being since I have a feeling they are the front runners from everything I’ve heard. I wonder how many times Cassie, Elan, Pete, or Bennett tried to shoo these people away with their cameras?

“Dancing with the Stars”

You know how I feel about theme weeks on DWTS. Some I hate, some I love. Well, 80’s week? C’mon, you can’t get any better than that. And if the Bangles performing didn’t capsulate what the 80’s were all about, then I don’t know what does? The Go-Go’s must’ve had a state fair they were performing at. Oh wait, we had the Go-Go’s perform in a recent season, didn’t we? Well then. Makes sense the Bangles were next on the list. Is it still possible 25 years later that the Bangles can perform on my TV screen and Susanna Hoffs still has me pitching a tent? Yes. Yes, it can. Holy Milfy, Batman. She’s 52 years old? How about we just cast her next season on the show? Although, with the Bangles busy touring schedule, that might be too tough on her. Or not. If I never hear “Walk Like an Egyptian” again in my life, it still won’t be soon enough. Awful song. Recently some magazine released the 100 Worst Songs of All Time and “We Built This City” by Starship was voted #1. Although incredibly corny, I’m sorry, but that’s not the worst song ever made. “Walk Like an Egyptian” is.

As much as I enjoy the live performance reality shows (Idol, DWTS, X Factor next week), there’s one thing that we absolutely have to put an end to and that’s the crowd booing everytime a judge says something remotely critical about someone’s performance. Really? I’m guessing they know more about the technique of the Paso Doble than you do, so I think they’re allowed to critique accordingly. I guess it’s the cool thing to do now, to boo a judge when they say something negative, but the problem is, 99% of the time, the judge is right, and these people are booing for no other reason other than to follow the crowd. Sorry. Chaz Bono sucks at dancing. Deal with it. Booing Len during a critique isn’t going to change that fact.

I think probably the most surprising part of Monday’s performances, and really, this blew me away, was the fact that Carson Kressley danced to a Wham! song. I mean, who in a million years he ever would’ve dressed in fluorescent clothes and leg warmers, and scooted around the floor to song sung by George Michael. Man, I NEVER saw that one coming. Might as well have had the colors of the rainbow lighting up the floor as well. A lot of people are saying Carson is going to be the most missed cast member, and he was so much fun to watch blah blah blah. Sorry. He was annoying. He was the Niecy Nash of this season. Nothing more, nothing less.

Nancy Grace was a cheerleader in high school? Seriously? Could’ve fooled me. Do you think that made the team try harder or made them purposely screw up knowing that Nancy was telling them to “Go, Fight, Win”? I would’ve purposely thrown the ball out of bounds in hopes that it’d bean her in the head. But hey, that’s just me. Another week, and another classic line from her partner, Tristan. He told her she needs to stop interrupting people. “That’s me job.” This guy is awesome. I’m telling you, if she didn’t have such a cool ass partner with a crazy Irish accent, she would’ve been gone week 1. “That’s me job?” I need to start talking like that. Then riverdance down the street and see how cool people think I am.

JR had the best dance of the night, but the biggest story this week was hearing Karina postponed her wedding to Detroit Tigers pitcher Brad Penny. Talk about random couples. He’s a big neck from a small town in Oklahoma, and she’s this plastic, Hollywood type who’s banged plenty of people on that show. Hey, not that Brad minds. He’s made his way through some quality Hollywood ass like Alyssa Milano, but still. How Karina and Brad ever ended up together is beyond me. Who knows? Might not be for long though because once you get the “we’re postponing our wedding” announcement, usually we know what’s coming next. Unless you’re Ali and Roberto. Karina claims it’s because DWTS will last too long and his baseball season just ended and their isn’t any time. Ummmm, you knew that when you got engaged. His season ends right around the beginning of October depending on playoffs, and you were gonna be on DWTS til the end of November, regardless of when you were kicked off. How is this all the sudden catching her by surprise? If you’re attending their wedding, be sure to hold on to your gift receipts.

Rob Kardashian told us this week he had a real hard time getting into character and acting sexy this week because he doesn’t consider himself all that sexy. Why didn’t he just pretend he was banging one of the skanks on his show? Seems to work well for him doing that. Ok, I’ll be honest, I think I’ve seen 5 minutes of any of those shows, but I do remember seeing him at some party down in San Diego, and he went back to his hotel room with some floozy that makes Sara Leal look like a nun. And I’m still waiting for someone, anyone, to email me and tell me one redeeming talent that Rob Kardashian has. Just one.

You know, in the past, this show has had plenty of mishaps. Marie Osmond fainting, Misty Mae tearing her Achilles in rehearsal, Nancy’s nipple slip this season – the list goes on. However what happened Monday night could’ve been the all timer. Chaz Bono’s fly was down during his dance. Of all the wardrobe malfunctions, could it have been any more appropriate that the only transgender person they’ve ever had on this show had their fly down during their performance. This show never ceases to amaze me.

I know Courtney Cox and David Arquette were married for 9 years or whatever and now they’re divorced, or are they? Is there a reason she comes to every one of his performances? Is she really wanting to keep her name out there so people will watch “Cougar Town”? Maybe it’s because their daughter wants to see daddy dance every week, which makes sense. But can’t the sitter bring her? Showing support for a guy that openly admitted to cheating on you I don’t think is really helping her image. But hey, what do I know? I’m not in PR. Maybe it’s a genius move to get people to like her more. Whatever the case, I find it creepy and weird.

I was aware that Ricki Lake got her start in “Hairspray” back in the 80’s when she was like 300 lbs, but I had no idea who this John Waters guy was that gave her her big break. Is he for real? Like, we’re supposed to take him seriously with that pencil thin mustache? I had no idea. I thought he was playing a bit with that get up. Apparently not. As for Ricki’s performance, I get that she wanted to incorporate her version of the Roger Rabbit in the dance, but did they have to do it three different times? Ok, we get it. You liked doing the Roger Rabbit. Problem is, she wasn’t any good at it. Now, if we’re talking about me doing the Roger Rabbit, that’s a completely different story. You have no idea how much I tore it up in my rayon shirt, Z Cavaricci’s and creepers at the school dances with my running man, Roger Rabbit, and MC Hammer moves. Lets pray that footage of that never surfaces in my lifetime.

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  1. sophienettejc

    October 21, 2011 at 12:07 PM

    Thanks for that Steve! Note I ALWAYS give you credit on my blog 🙂

  2. munnygirl

    October 21, 2011 at 11:30 PM

    I can’t believe you don’t know who John Waters is??? Were you serious or being sarcastic? Pink Flamingos and Devine??? Polyester, Cry Baby & s Serial Mom??? Aggghhhh…. Steve – wake up!

  3. kc

    October 22, 2011 at 4:33 AM

    steve, hopefully you know by now that the belize newspaper did link to you/your website.

  4. janedoe

    October 22, 2011 at 4:47 AM

    Love your spoilers but you need to learn the difference between their and there!

  5. mja

    October 22, 2011 at 12:38 PM

    I also have to comment on Steve not knowing who John Waters is… all I can say is, Wow! I think munnygirl covered all of the basics in her post above.

    But, I guess everybody has their knowledge gaps. I’m sure there is stuff I don’t know about that he does.

  6. addicted2trainwrecks

    October 22, 2011 at 4:56 PM

    Steve, you are slipping up. I will attribute it to it being the “off season”. Check out the “stylish” dweeb bachelor in BLACK SOCKS AND SNEAKERS while wearing shorts. Cheez even my dad didn’t wear black socks with sandals and he was 83!!!!

  7. mommyof2

    October 22, 2011 at 7:02 PM

    Steve- The Belize paper article DID link directly to your page. I agree with you about DWTS on most accounts. I think the finals will (and should) include JR and Ricki. I also agree with you on X factor. I think Melanie is the best singer in the competition and I couldn’t believe that Simon originally nixed her in favor of Simone and Tiah of all people. I like the 14-year-old girl, too. I agree that the homeless guy shouldn’t have made it through nor the one newly-formed group of 4 women. Looking forward to reading about the Bachelor “scandal” Fleiss tweeted about. Also, LOVE the Reader’s e-mails- especially the one from England (I love these new words, too!) and that “foiled” one that made no sense. Hilarious!

  8. Stacey

    October 22, 2011 at 9:26 PM

    Bachelor was in Caye Caulker Belize last night appeared to be on a 2on1 date at ‘the split’. A whole bunch of work was done before they arrived… I am here now, I own a hotel on the island but am from Canada

  9. jack

    October 24, 2011 at 11:20 AM

    Steve, please get off of your high horse and do a bit of research and learn something about John Waters. Please tell me that you are not that arrogant/ignorant.

  10. brady6

    October 25, 2011 at 7:18 AM

    Yikes – I don’t typically comment, but who is John Waters? Never ever heard of the guy! I looked him up online and never heard of him or the references some poster made above…I am assuming your just alot older than me? Must be….! I just dont get the mean comments, and FYI… Steve said he doesn’t read the comments! Lighten up girls!

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