Sorry about not having a column up this past Tuesday. Just wasn’t a lot of “Bachelor” news to report. And there really isn’t much today either, so, I just thought I’d combine whatever I had Tuesday and just add it today’s column. Headed to California until Tuesday, so I wouldn’t expect any major updates until Wednesday at the earliest.
They are done filming in Belize and have moved on to shooting the hometown dates. I’m pretty sure of who the final four are, but I don’t have all their locations yet. Three of the four I know what city they live in, but not sure if it’s the same as where their parents live. But if I find anything out, I will more than likely tweet about it than post a column.
This past Saturday, thanks to a patron of Belize who runs her own blog which you can read at SanPedroScoop.com, we were able to get pictures of Ben’s 1-on-1 date last Friday in Belize. The blog describes everything she saw including numerous pictures before, of course, Cassie Lambert (Ben’s right hand woman/producer) got in the way and made sure no more pictures were being taken. Awesome. I love when other people make this show’s life a living hell. Well, good to see she was able to get all her pictures up and gave me permission to post this one. I’m well aware of who that girl is with Ben, but, I’ve yet to confirm her. When the time is right, I will.
Wanted to mention something on a more serious note from the “Bachelor/ette” world that hit the news this weekend in case you missed it, and that’s that Krisily announced she’s bisexual. For those that think I’m such a ruthless guy and I invade on these people’s privacy etc, for the record I’ll let you know that I’ve known Krisily was bi for over a yea now. I knew she had a girlfriend, but out of respect for her, that just wasn’t something I was gonna come out and spill. A lot of people in the Bachelor family were aware and just didn’t say anything because it wasn’t their business. Nor was it mine. So yeah, there’s plenty of other stuff about other contestants I could share about their private lives but there’s a certain line that I will never cross, and someone’s sexuality is definitely one of them. Am I surprised Krisily announced this to “Life and Style” at an event? Yeah, kind of. But that’s her deal and if that’s what she wanted to do, so be it.
In some other “Bachelor/ette” news, as I’m sure you’re aware, DeAnna and Stephen got married last weekend in Atlanta. A few of you who follow DeAnna on Twitter have noticed that her and Stephen went to Belize on their honeymoon and have asked if that means she’ll be appearing on the show. Uhhhh, no. What would DeAnna have to do with Ben’s season? Have her walk by in the background on the beach? DeAnna and Stephen’s honeymoon was booked well before the show decided to film in Belize, and her being there right around the same time has nothing to do with the show whatsoever, so we can put that rumor to rest.
The other ridiculous rumor we can immediately squash? That somehow Matt Nordgren from “Most Eligible Dallas” is “in talks” to be the next “Bachelor.” Let me make this short and sweet for you and lay out 5 reasons why that’s not happening.
1. They are not done filming Ben’s season. You honestly think that they’re talking to someone to be the next Bachelor, which wouldn’t start filming until September 2012, while Ben’s season is still going on? They don’t even know who the next Bachelorette it is, yet, they’re “in talks” with Matt about something 11 months from now? Please.
2. They are not going to cast a lead on this show that wasn’t on a previous season. Mike Fleiss has said it, Chris Harrison has alluded to it, and they’ve done it for 8 seasons in a row. They have a formula that they’re sticking with and it’s not gonna change.
3. Ummmm, have you watched “Most Eligible Dallas.” Even though we know ABC doesn’t care about whether the couple stays together at the end, they have to PRETEND like they do, so they’re gonna cast a lead that’s sincere about moving forward in their life and finding that special someone. Matt Nordgren? Really? Nobody in their right mind would ever believe that guy is interested in being the “Bachelor” for any other reason than to promote himself and his business.
4. Matt already has a past with Vienna, and lets just say he doesn’t have the greatest reputation in Dallas. Hell, the guy even admits on “Dallas Most Eligible” how he treats women he goes out with.
5. Last but certainly not least: Matt Nordgren already applied in the past to be on the “Bachelorette” and didn’t make it.
I’d say that should put that silly rumor to rest. Do people really believe this stuff? The only reason Matt responded the way he did on Twitter to this speculation and didn’t deny it is because the guy wants to keep his name out there. Plain and simple. Well, I’m here to tell you that Matt Nordgren won’t be the next “Bachelor” in a million years. Not next season, the season after that, or 20 seasons from now. Ain’t happening.
“Dancing With the Stars”
Kind of a volatile week on DWTS, huh? We’ll get to Maks’ comments later on. As for this theme week? Eh. At least they picked popular Broadway songs that I’d heard of before. Most of them. Granted, the only play I’ve seen from the songs they used is “Phantom of the Opera”, but I had at least heard most of the other songs before at some point. However, I still prefer the 80’s theme week. Can we maybe mix in a 90’s theme week too? I don’t ask much.
Wow. Real shocked to see that Kris Jenner wanted some airtime during Rob’s video package. Never saw that coming. Even more surprising was Rob’s reaction. Rob: “It was so surprising to see my mom pop into rehearsals.” Huh? You do know who your mother is, right Rob? You do realize she is the one conducting the gravy train that is the Kardashian sisters and steering it straight into the tabloids, don’t you? The worst part is, I don’t think this family is going anywhere anytime soon. As long as Kim doesn’t lose her breasts or her giant ba-donk-a-donk, she’ll always be in the news cuz, well, that’s why she’s news. Her breasts. And the fact that she let Ray-J violate every one of her orifices on a sex tape. Classy.
I noticed that both Lamar Odom and Kris Humphries were in attendance Monday night. At what point during the show did those two lock eyes and simultaneously think, “What the hell happened to our lives?” I’m guessing around the first commercial break. If I were them, that’s certainly what I would’ve been thinking. And hey, if any of the tabloid reports are true, Kris has already come to that realization and is gonna get the hell out of that marriage before too long. Good for him. It’s a farce anyway. Those chicks don’t care about being married and in love. It’s all about self promotion with them.
Very rarely in this column do I ever talk about my personal life. Why? Well, because it’s my personal life. It’s personal. To me. Not you. I don’t tweet about my personal life very much, nor do I facebook status it, nor do I write about it. I just feel it’s not anybody’s business to know what I’m doing every second of the day (which isn’t much), so I’d rather keep it that way. However, I’ve decided I’m going to share something personal with you today. It’s a big step for me, so be gentle. I NEVER come clean with stuff like this, but, for the sake of today’s column, I feel I should. Ready? For the sole reason that Tristan, Nancy’s partner, talks like a leprechaun, I went out and bought Lucky Charms over the weekend and I’ve been eating it like it’s going out of style. Whew. There. Glad I got that off my chest. Don’t say I never share personal info with you people.
So of course during Broadway theme week, I would’ve probably written a letter of complaint if they didn’t have at least ONE song from “Grease”. Luckily they did with “We Go Together.” I must say though that, David Arquette, you are NO Danny Zucko. Nothing about you screams leader of the T-Birds, sorry. I don’t remember Danny Zucko ever being on Prozac. But Kym? Hey, you can be Sandra Dee any day you’d like sweetcakes. You’re certainly a better dancer than her. And she was too much of a prude anyway. Just because Rizzo and the girls fixed her up in her hoochie mama outfit at the end and put her in heels and leggings and did up her hair, doesn’t mean her and Danny did it in the car when it took off into the air at the end. I’m sorry, but one of worst/corniest/cheesiest endings ever to a good film. How stupid was that? Cars can fly? Oh really? Lame. You realize the moral of that film was basically to whore yourself out to get the man you want? Nice message.
If I didn’t know any better, I’d say Ricki Lake lost 10 lbs just in her performance from Monday night. I always get the Quick Step and the Jive mixed up. It was one of those two, but regardless, she moved faster than I thought she could. Now, if she’d stop this nonsense of saying she’s down to a size 4, maybe I’d listen to her. Ricki, you aren’t a size 4. I know a lot of these women who come on this show come on and use it not only for the experience, but to also lose weight, but some of them turn completely delusional. Wasn’t Kirstie Alley telling anyone who’d listen last season she’d gotten down to a size 2? Yes, they look better than they did, but some of these sizes they’re spewing out are ridiculous. Get a grip, ladies.
Watching Chaz perform to Phantom of the Opera, I felt like I was in the elevator at the Venetian listening to that song play over and over and over. You know my thoughts on Chaz. Nothings changed this week. Wasn’t a dancer to begin with, isn’t a dancer now, and was strictly cast on the show to get people, and the media, talking. That’s it. Nothing more, nothing less. Mission accomplished. He was news every single week despite being by far the worst dancer out there.
Ahhhh, now we come to Maks. Maks, Maks, Maks. Here’s my take on Maks vs Len. Maks is absolutely 100% right in what he said. But should he have expressed it the way he did, and continue to say he’s not apologizing for anything? No. You see, this is a reality show. As much as they want to make it about dancing, which it mostly is, there is still the element of the “reality show” aspect, and that’s the judges being goofy, saying stupid things, being blunt, and sometimes crossing the line when their critiques have nothing to do with dancing and they just talk about someone’s appearance. Maks should know better. That’s what they do on this show. Does it make it right? No, but that’s what the show was, is, and will always be. I’m actually surprised Maks isn’t being penalized or punished for his outburst. People have talked back to the judges before, but nothing like that. I thought he’d get suspended for a week.
Now, as for what Maks said? Absolutely he’s right. After their dance when they were talking to Brooke McBoobs-Charvet, Maks said, “Some of us are judged on effort, and some are judged on heel leads.” Bam! Translation: Chaz has gotten a free pass all season for being a sh**ty dancer, but because people feel sorry for him and like his effort, he’s never judged or called out on his technical skills. Sure Chaz never had high scores, but if the judges said the things they said to Hope the same way to Chaz about his technique, there’d be outrage from GLAAD. That was not Hope’s worst dance of the season, and by getting so technical and calling her out for poor heel leads, well, it proves Maks points. Couldn’t they basically say that about Chaz’ dancing every week? Even when he sucks, they sugar coated everything they said to him all season because they felt bad. All Maks is saying is call a spade a spade. And the judges haven’t this season in regards to Chaz.
I love after Derek sided with the judges and said they’ve “been generous”, Maks decided to take a swipe at him. Maks: “Derek Hough has been very supportive of his personal career on the show. When you say judges have been generous, with all due respect, if I had Nicole Scherzinger, followed by Jennifer Grey, followed by Ricki Lake, I probably would not be very upset with the judges either.” Bam! He’s right, too. Lets face it, Derek is given contestants every season who have a really good shot to go far, because Derek is a crowd favorite. You can tell that bothers Maks and that was his shot at expressing it. I’m guessing these two won’t be exchanging Christmas cards this year.
I thought the group dance was totally ridiculous. If you watched it closely, there really wasn’t much dancing at all. Each pair got like 15 seconds in the spotlight and they all ended up doing one lift. Why Hope was sexy during that performance but not during her one with Maks was kind of a head scratcher. I think she can be incredibly sexy when she wants to. And no, I’m not just saying that because of the latest ESPN the Magazine issue with her nude in it. Ok, yes I am.