Reality Steve

Reader Emails

“Reader Emails,” “Dr. Reality Steve,” & Live Video Blog Tonight at 9PM EST/6PST

Hi Steve,

There’s an article on Shawntel on today’s

You alluded to a previous connection with Ben. Explain.

Shawntel: I made it very clear on Twitter I had a crush on him and wanted to get to know him [during] Ashley’s season. He sent me a private message and we exchanged numbers. We [said] we should meet in person but he couldn’t be seen in public. It never happened.

Um…since Ben was the final 2 in Ashley’s season, I would’ve thought he wouldn’t have been allowed to talk to random girls or go out with them (I’m reading from your blog he actually went out with Britt) while the season is still airing? Am I getting the timing wrong?

Comment: He wasn’t allowed to. I don’t think Ben, the producers, ABC, etc would ever think I found out he was hanging out with Britt. But I did. I’m not sure exactly when his text/sexting began with Shawntel, but if it was while the show was airing then, well, he shouldn’t have been doing that either. Yeah, obviously if the final 2 person is spotted on a date, or out in public making out with someone, etc they are technically breaking their contract. Sure, they’re not expected to sit at home and twiddle their thumbs for 2 ½ months while the show is airing, but, they can’t be blatant about seeing someone. The Ben/Britt thing was clearly something I was lucky to stumble in to.

Hi Reality Steve,

Absolutely LOVE your blog, of course! Fun, sarcastic and very true.
I just wanted to see what your opinion was on a few things:

1. What are your thoughts on Ali Fedotowsky now? She is ALL over facebook posting about everything she is doing, everything she wears, getting on every magazine etc… Seems like the down-to-earth girl has turned into a fame-whore and thinks she’s super famous. What do you think?

2. HOW the hell all the bachelor/bachelorette people take months off work to go on the show and some even go on nasty bachelor pad again? Like Kyptin, who, if I remember correctly, has a serious job… What company lets their employees leave for months to go on some show?

3. Do you ever wonder if there is something wrong with everyone who does the show? I mean, theyre all super attractive, have “great” jobs, are fun, adventerous etc… but then how are they all still single and have to go on a show to find a partner? For example Ames… lost all my affection for him when he went on the bachelor pad. And after the show they all seem to be dating other contestants and only hang out with contestants from the previous shows. I’ve always thought it’s weird and they all must be somewhat strange in real life

4. Finally, thoughts on Jiliann? I think she was the most fun, real and honest girl on this show and didnt make a huge deal out of herself or her break up from Ed. I love her. Do you?

Comment: 1) Well, no one from this show should ever think they’re “super” famous, because they’re not. I think Ali definitely wants a career in the entertainment field, and she’s pursuing it. Who am I to tell her not to? It’s not an easy business obviously, and basically only Melissa and Jillian have landed big TV gigs from this franchise. Others have done smaller stuff here and there, but those two got on network shows. If Ali can get that, so be it. If not, I hope she has something to fall back on.

2) It’s a good question. A lot of these contestants seem to have jobs that they just end up quitting, or, they’re in a field that it isn’t a big deal if they leave. Like I’ve always said, it’s not like this show is loaded with Fortune 500 CEO’s. It’s a bunch models, bartenders, wannabe actors/actresses, etc. Same goes for most reality shows. “Survivor” you’re gone for 39 days whether you get booted at the first tribal council or make the finale.

3) I don’t know if strange is the word I’d use. But I’d definitely say you have to have a bit of narcissism to be on this show. Lets face it, most of these people are good looking and probably have no problem getting a date. Which is why you gotta believe most come on more for the experience, and not actually to find a date. I honestly think these are the 3 main reasons people do this show:

1) To say they were on TV/travel/meet new people
2) To see what opportunities can arise once the show is over
3) As a quick way to get into the “Bachelor” fraternity, where they can hook up with cast members from previous seasons they liked

For the sake of argument, if a random good looking girl emails, say, Dave Good…wait, bad idea. He’ll sleep with anyone. Ok, lets just say a random girl emails someone like Graham saying how hot she thinks he is, she’d love to buy him a drink or meet up with him, etc. I’m sure he’s flattered, but I’m also sure he gets that A LOT from viewers of this show. However, if that same girl actually ends up on the “Bachelor,” she can now approach him in a different way and has a lot easier access to him than just “random fan who thinks he’s hot and stalks him with emails.” Make sense? I don’t know why I used Graham. First name that came to my head. But you get my point.

4) Never met Jillian, never spoken to her in my life, so do I love her? Can’t say that I do. But I know that most people in this franchise really like her and say she’s as down-to-earth as they come. Especially for this show.

Hey Steve love the column, keep the spoilers coming!! So I’ve got a couple questions for you hope you have not been asked them before since I’m sure that gets annoying, you’ve said before that filming the meet and greets/limo entrances on night one takes hours and hours my question is how do these girls stay so fresh looking? They don’t look tired and their hair and makeup still looks great. Do they take breaks to touch up but they aren’t carrying purses in either so how could they possibly do this just wondered..

Also in People magazine this week Ben mentions dropping the wrong name for a girl in an intimate moment any idea who he’s referring too? And how funny the first night this whole Blakely and Monica thing was such a big deal but in episode two it’s never mentioned or brought up again that whole thing just seemed fake. Thanks for the column and all your insight makes watching this show so much better!

Comment: I’m not 100% certain, but I’m guessing with an 8 hour rose ceremony or so, there are constant trips to the bathroom to touch up make up and hair. Has to be. Or else they’d all look haggard and beat down by the time the rose ceremony rolls around.

I have no idea who Ben drops the wrong name on. Sorry.

So I have been reading your site for a while now, love it completely! You have mentioned these jeans a ton of times but have we ever seen you in the jeans?? I’m thinking you should model these in your next video. You know, to help your family friend sell more jeans and all!!!

Comment: Ask and you shall receive. See how giving I am? I will be wearing my Reuse jeans in the live video blog tonight. I’ll even stand up and model for you in them. Ok, maybe not.

The Grand Opening this past Saturday night was very fun, had a great turn out, and a lot of pairs were sold. I’m telling you, these are the most comfortable pair of jeans I own. Hit up and check out what they have. You’ll like what they have to offer.

So I’ve only been a fan of the Bachelor because I love reading your commentary. So you’re probably going to mention this, but this isn’t the first time I’ve noticed it…. but Ben’s season has made it SO MUCH MORE OBVIOUS. Anyways…. how often do they have to do some sort of awkward camera angle or towel cover-up to not show Ben’s Courtney-boner?

Thanks! Keep blasting them, it’s hilarious (and yet painful all the same!).

Comment: Hmmmm, can’t really say I’ve been paying much attention to Ben’s Courtney-boner. In fact, now that you mention, I’ll be even more sure to NEVER look in that direction when he’s with her. Although, this Monday during the skinny dipping, it might be kinda hard. Pun intended.

It is pretty amazing to think what we’re going to witness on Monday. 23rd season of the show, and we’ve seen steamy make out scenes in hot tubs, we insinuate every season that sex undoubtedly happens during the overnight dates – but we never see it. Nor do we ever see any couple on this show ever naked together. Until Monday night. These two are bare ass naked in the ocean on Monday night, pressing up against each other and making out. It’s going to be quite the scene to watch.

Now, take the hypothetical situation of Ben choosing Lindzi in the end. Lets just say for arguments sake he got engaged to her in Switzerland and is with her today. He of course didn’t and isn’t, but lets say he is. How on God’s green earth would Lindzi be the least bit accepting of him going skinny dipping with a girl in episode 5? Sh**, how are any of the girls happy with that. They all hate Courtney already, and you honestly think knowing how many of these girls already are catty already that it sits well with them? From here on out, every girl who gets eliminated and does her conference call with the media, I’d really like to hear what they honestly thought about the skinny dipping. I’m sorry, but it’s one thing to say, “Oh, I know Ben has relationships with the other girls, and it was tough seeing him go on other dates, and kiss other women, blah blah blah…”, but this is COMPLETELY different. He knowingly took his clothes off and basically ran his hands all up and down one of the other competitors in the water, while he’s barely stuck his tongue in the mouths of some of the others. If you’re still skeptical of what I told you on Dec. 14th, that’s fine. Your proof is pretty much in next week’s episode.

Hi Steve,

I absolutely love reading your blog and I’ve been an avid reader since Jake’s season. You can definitely add me to the list of people who have only become more interested in the Bachelor because of your site. In fact, while I watch every week I find myself thinking “hm, I wonder what Reality Steve will say about this in his recap tomorrow.”

On that note I do have a question for you. I was wondering if there are any reality show blogs or websites that you read regularly about the Bachelor or any reality shows you watch for fun? I know you’re not looking for spoilers or Bachelor- related info from other sites but I was just curious if you like reading other people’s recaps or even just what other people have to say about the Bachelor or other reality TV? Other than your site, I also love reading’s Reality Show Fantasy League Scorecard. They’ve recently talked about some of the people on the Bachelor in the scorecard and I find what they have to say hilarious. Have you read it?

Anyway thanks again for writing and I wish you the best of luck with the lawsuit (which I personally think is ridiculous).

Have a good night!

Comment: I read Chris’ blog on every week even though it basically says nothing. I like reading it to see how he skirts around certain issues and covers up for rumors that he knows are out there. I read Ashley Spivey’s blog because it has pictures, is funny, and most importantly, it’s short. It takes me HOURS to write my column. The last thing I wanna do is read someone else as wordy as me. I’ll glance at the site to look at videos and behind the scene clips that they post, and maybe check out a former cast members blog here and there, but no one is a must-read for me.

I’ve always been a “Sports Guy” Bill Simmons fan so I read him all the time on Grantland and listen to his podcasts, but not much else from that site. I’m aware of what the Reality Show Fantasy League Scorecard is, but don’t read it every week. Every writer on that site is very wordy, and as I’ve said, I can barely tolerate the length of what I write. And I’m basically on a lot of the TV/pop culture sites a lot:,,, What Would Tyler Durden Do? (, The Superficial, and others.

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  1. kdksigns

    January 26, 2012 at 5:28 PM


    We love you, but you really need to get some art on your walls. Everything is white and/or tan/brown. Whats with that?

  2. penguinfan01

    January 27, 2012 at 4:15 AM

    Steve, I am a huge fan of your blog and your video chats, and will stay that way. My comment is one that I sent you when you were so positive that Chantal was the pick. I am going to say it again, when this show leads you in one direction and makes it blatant that so and so is the pick, then it usually goes in the other direction. They are making it clear that Ben likes Courtney a lot. Watch your back, I am thinking it will go the other way. MF is very predictable, you already know that. Keep up the good work, I could not get through a show without your spoilers.

  3. karynr

    January 27, 2012 at 11:34 AM

    Thanks Steve. I wasn’t home last night, and have only watched half so far, but have to tell you Maddie is so adorable. Of course you already know that. She’s a helluva lot cuter than Courtney! And probably nice too!

  4. karynr

    January 27, 2012 at 11:35 AM

    nicer….in a hurry

  5. Dianne

    January 27, 2012 at 12:28 PM

    Awwwww..Maddie!! What a sweet pup!

  6. arp88

    January 28, 2012 at 8:16 PM

    That limo question is bothering me now. I remember the season – the first girl to arrive was chosen and they sent her up into the mansion while he dumped the other girl, who had to have the limo pull over so she could puke in the bushes on the way there. I can’t remember which Bachelor it was or who either of the women were!

  7. nyfanatic

    January 29, 2012 at 9:07 PM

    Hi Steve,

    Jesse Palmer’s season was the one when they had the winner come out of the limo first and then she watched from above in a house while he rejected the other girl (I don’t remember their names at all!).

  8. cangel44

    January 30, 2012 at 9:35 AM

    love your blog. I think that name remembering question is funny. I remember how they do it and how long those ceremonies last….and how many names are called at different intervals. I would spill the beans but I dont want t,,,you addressed it not that long ago.Had to of been within the last seasons before Ashley and Brads. Buuuut… I did forget…why is that pavement always wet at the meet and greets. LMAO

  9. Dianne

    January 30, 2012 at 11:15 AM

    ummmmm..nyfanatic..was it Jesse Palmer, or was it Andrew Firestone? I thought it was Andrew Firestone, Jenn was the girl that came out of the limo first and watched from the house.

  10. karynr

    January 30, 2012 at 11:32 AM

    It was Jesse Palmer. He chose a blonde and gave her a ticket to NY….no engagement ring. The other one, I think her name is Tara, puked on her way to rejection.

  11. karynr

    January 30, 2012 at 11:48 AM

    I think her name is Jessica (the blonde). That was a big nothing of a season!

  12. Dianne

    January 30, 2012 at 12:38 PM

    right, right, it was Jesse, and yes, Tara..that was her name ..she kept asking the driver to stop the car so she could throw up!

  13. sherry123

    January 30, 2012 at 5:18 PM

    Courtney is such an awful person. It only proves to me that men are blind when it comes to sex. She’s not good looking. Skinny, yes; pretty, NO!!! Yikes! She’s terrible. She’s cultivating a lot of BAD KARMA!

  14. princess1107

    January 31, 2012 at 9:37 AM

    It is very disappointing that Ben can not see the true Courtney that the other girls see. She is decietful and certainly not pretty or even cute. I have yet to figure out what Ben sees in her. He should have eliminated her in the beginning. She doesn’t show her true colors when she is with Ben. She definitely has a problem getting along with other people and is a different person around Ben. I am very disappointed that Ben would fall for someone of her character and that he can’t see through her. Casey B. is the sweetest and in my opinion the best pick for Ben. You can just see the chemistry when those two are together. The entire show seems to be about Courtney so I guess we should have known after the first few episodes. What a shame – the loser wins! How disappointing!!

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