-The 2-on-1 date begins and the fact that since they’ve realized it was a 2-on-1 date, Blakeley has been non-stop over the moon, with Rachel being the giant worry wart, should’ve told you everything you need to know about who was going to get the rose on this date. Someone give Blakeley her Ritalin before this date. Calm down, woman. Before they leave for the date, Courtney has some choice words for what she wants to happen on this date: “I want them both to go home.” Man, I was kinda shocked to see those pictures of Courtney in LA last weekend. Not because it took a month for the paparazzi to finally post pictures of her, but because in one of them, she was actually walking arm and arm with a friend. I figured only Casey S liked her. Go figure. Anyway, Blakeley, Rachel, and Ben show up for salsa lessons with a dance instructor who is the Panamanian version of Debbie Allen. “I’m goin’ to teesh you guys salsa…Salsa is energetic, it’s passionate, and the most important tink…chemistry.” I preferably would’ve rather seen Kym Johnson or Anna Trebunskaya as their dance instructor, but I guess this woman will have to do. Rachel gets her lesson first, and lets just say these two aren’t winning any mirror ball trophies anytime soon. Rachel: “I definitely think there’s chemico between us.” I don’t. You’re doing the same move 1,000 times in a row and Ben has the looseness and rhythm of an 8th grader slow dancing with a girl while getting his first boner.
-Blakeley knows this type of date is right up her alley. “I’m definitely a better dancer than Rachel…this dance is very sensual and sexual, which is who I am. That is totally not her.” Interesting. I never really looked at Blakeley that way. So pure, so innocent, doesn’t seem to ever flaunt her sexuality in a way that’d make you think, “Hmmmm…I wonder if she’s ever had dollar bills stuffed in her g-string before?” Such an unassuming girl who really needs to come out of her shell and stand out more if she wants to get attention from guys. Wearing long, baggy sweaters and being all shy all the time really isn’t the way to win over a guy. You know what I say Blakeley? If you got it, flaunt it. Show some skin, give us a little cleavage, something, ANYTHING to make us notice you, because right now, you’re just a small town girl, livin’ in a lonely world. Of course, Rachel sees things completely different and thinks Blakeley and Ben look awkward together. Ya’ think? Wouldn’t have anything to do with the fact that she’s trying to dry hump him rather than salsa dance, does it? If anyone doubted whether Blakeley has ever worked the pole in her life, their questions should’ve been answered by her dancing with Ben last night. I half expected guys in trucker hats or rich Asian men to be sitting nearby whistling and heaving $1 paper airplanes at her. Yowza.
-So these three sit down to dinner and Ben has a tough decision on his hand: Hooters girl or nose stud girl? Always a toughie. He pulls Rachel aside first to have a talk. Rachel admits that Ben’s relationship with Blakeley is much more fast moving, but she likes how theirs is going too, even if it’s moving at a pace normally reserved for high school freshman. Well, at least when I was a high school freshman. Nowadays, apparently if you aren’t having oral sex by the 6th grade, you’re in the minority. That blows my mind. When I was in 6th grade, we had our first sex ed class and every guy was embarrassed beyond recognition to ask a question about anything for fear of getting ridiculed. I can only imagine what the 6th graders talk about today. And yes, I just made myself sound about 50 years old. Wonderful. Next thing I’ll tell you is that I used to walk to school in 5 feet of snow. Backwards. Yep, it’s official. I’m a crotchety old man now. Back to Rachel, I found it hilarious during their time together that Ben is saying to her, “What am I going to do with you” all while he’s constantly kissing her. Gee, don’t tip your hand too much there, buddy. Kinda hard to think you were actually gonna give Blakeley the rose as we’re sitting there watch you peck away at Rachel’s mouth 1,000 times. But hey, crazier things have happened. Like Byron toasting Tanya’s family at the hometowns, “Here’s to Christmas in Texas”, then unceremoniously dumping her for the lush who liked using his face as a punching bag.
-Time for Ben to talk to Blakeley, who is not herself. Blakeley: “I’m very nervous. For the first time, I really feel something. I really feel it.” Ooohhh, where? Like, in your lady parts? Or you mean the mushy stuff like deep down in your heart? Awwww, how cute. Puppy love. Blakeley has a little crushy wushy on Ben. God only knows why, but she does. So much so that for the month that she’s been on the show, she’s been keeping a Fatal Attraction book…errrrr…scrapbook of allllllll the wonderful group dates she’s been on. Tell me this Stage 5 clinger did not just break out a scrapbook on a guy she hasn’t even had a 1-on-1 with yet. Blakeley, hasn’t anyone told you scrapbooks aren’t brought into play until we’re down to the final two and you’re getting your last chance date with Ben and reminding him of your whirlwind 6 week romance that is a fairytale made for TV? Apparently not. Blakeley is crying, I gotta believe Ben is laughing, but he figures, hey, it’s the last time I’m gonna see this chick, I might as well get some tongue action before she leaves so I can tell my boyfriend Cody Ross what it was like to make out with a stripper. Ummm, has anyone checked on Constantine recently? Is he ok with Ben’s constant name dropping and photo bombing with former SF Giant Cody Ross? Ben, no one cares you’re friends with a journeyman baseball player currently on his 6th team in 9 seasons who’s a career .261 hitter and got hot for one playoff run.
-At dinner, Ben makes his decision and gives the rose to Rachel. However, I was notified this morning that Blakeley did a radio interview in Charlotte where she talked about her time on the show, and she said that during her 2-on-1 date, when Ben gave the rose out, he actually called Rachel “Emily” at first and they had to re-shoot it. I bet that made her feel special. You can listen to it here by clicking on this link. And if you thought the scrap book was Stage 5 clinger status, listen to this to hear what else she did:
(And yet again, another girl who had nothing good to say about Courtney). Once the re-shoot was over, we see Blakeley get up from the table, and kinda storm off. Ben: “Blakeley, slown down for a second. At least give me a chance to explain.” I don’t know what Blakeley was so upset at. It’s not like he took her scrapbook, threw it on the ground, and pissed on it. Although, that’s essentially what he did. Blakeley, let me explain something to you. If you’ve been on the show for six episodes and STILL haven’t gotten a 1-on-1 date, there’s not a chance in hell you’re lasting. Especially when Ben thought enough of Kacie to give her two 1-on-1’s while you, Jamie, and Casey S still hadn’t received one. The writing is on the wall sweetie. Like your name, number, and some crude comment in the mens bathroom stall at at the Charlotte Hooters. Blakeley is devastated, which leads to the longest hug goodbye in the history of this show. I was half expecting to see a giant pile of snot on Ben’s shirt once Blakeley finally pulled away an hour later.