-Before the cocktail party, all the women are sitting around talking about how nervous they are. Except Courtney who seems to be bombed as usual. They know it’s a big rose ceremony, the mood is tense, yet Courtney doesn’t have a care in the world. She’s pounding her Pina Colada and giving her best Frank the Tank impersonation. “Oh my God!!! Soooo good when it hits your lips…lets liven it up. Lets get this party started.” This chick is an island unto herself. What a bizarre creature. I also noticed that everyone is barefoot. Nice. More foot fungus to go around for everyone.
-Uh oh. Chris shows up and says Ben’s mind is made up, no need to prolong the agony, the cocktail party is cancelled. A silence falls over the girls. Things just got real serious. Although Courtney’s thought bubble is probably something like, “Belize. B-U-L-E-E-Z. Belize. Or is it B-E-L-E-A-S-E. So crazy. Look at the butterflys. How do planes fly?”
Ben: “Loved Belize…incredible…best week of any…hometowns…meeting families is a big deal…before I start the rose ceremony, I was wondering if I could steal Courtney…” Ahhh, the magic of editing again. In last week’s preview for this week, and even previews earlier in the show, they show Ben holding one rose in his hand and putting it down on the stand, then a wide shot of him saying, “I was wondering if I could steal Courtney” making everyone think that he was down to his last rose when he asked to talk to her, when in reality, his mind was already made up and that was just a formality. Hell, they barely even showed what the two of them talked about other than the “Just want to make sure you’re here for the right reasons” question and her saying, “Of course I am.” Much ado about nothing.
Nicki: She was very excited that she gets to take him to Leddy’s and Billy Bob’s next week. I’ll share that story next week.
Lindzi: We get to see Ben ride a horse again next week? Outstanding. If it’s anything like how he rode in Park City, there’s a serious chance for injury next week. Can’t wait.
“Ladies, Ben. It’s the final rose tonight. When you’re ready. Rachel and Emily, the engines for your boats are running, we need to get back to the states ASAP. Hurry up and get out of here. And Ben, no need to walk either of them out. That wouldn’t be considerate at all.”
Courtney: She hops, skips, and jumps over to pick up her rose all while waving it around like a gold medal and winning over the millions of fans tuning in every Monday night.
In her exit, Rachel took a page out of Jennifer’s book and had the whole “gasping for air” while crying. I’d feel bad for her, but we’d already seen someone with that bit, so I figured they had an oxygen mask handy in case she needed help.
Emily certainly didn’t need an oxygen mask. I was just curious as to who poured the bucket of water on her face before she did her final interview. That’s a lot of tears for a guy who couldn’t even come close to beating you in horse. Emily says that “every time Ben drives on the Bay Bridge, he’ll think of me.” No honey, that would constitute him being able to multi-task. Impossible.
I’ve got some breaking news to share with everyone. Was given some inside information regarding the “extras” scene from this week. You know, the one where they showed Ben and Courtney on the temple and Terry the tarantula that they befriended. You see that thing crawling all up and down Courtney’s arm. Blech. I will have you know that my sources informed me the tarantula actually bit into Courtney pretty good and started sucking the blood right out of her, which immediately then had an ambulance on scene and things got messy with people being transported to the hospital. And it’s with a heavy heart that I have to be the one to break the news to everyone, but on the way to the hospital, Terry the tarantula passed away due to blood poisoning. He will be missed. R.I.P. Terry.
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