Reality Steve

Dr. Reality Steve

“Reader Emails,” “Dr. Reality Steve,” Live Video Blog Tonight, and Pictures of the Final Two In Switzerland

Dr. Reality Steve

Only four emails this week. There might have been more, that I could’ve skipped or accidentally deleted because I thought I had seen more. But with the amount of emails I get, especially if I’m not at my computer and I’m checking them on my phone, sometimes I forget to send them to the Dr. Reality Steve folder right away, or, I forget to respond to them and hit delete. So keep em’ coming and just assume they’ll be answered at some point.

What would be your ideal valentines day gift? Me and my boyfriend have been together since we were 16 so this will be our 6th valentines together and i am just completely out of ideas. It really doesn’t help that his birthday, our anniversary, Christmas, and valentines day are all within four months of each other and i used up all the ideas i had. He keeps telling me that since i got him a big present for christmas that he doesn’t need anything for valentines day, but this year was really rough for us (not relationship wise,id say were closer than ever, but it was just a horrible year) and while we’ve both been really sad the last few months he’s pretty much had to take care of me and himself. I just want to get him something that says thank you for being so amazing, and i’m hoping you could give me some tips. i know yall probably are nothing alike so theres a chance nothing you say could work, but if you could just tell me some things that most guys would like (besides sex) i would really appreciate it. We do live in Texas so he likes to hunt if that helps at all. Also i’m in college so i cant spend a ton of money. Hopefully you can help me out because i’m stuck but if not thanks anyways!

Comment: Uhhhhh, woops. Guess I should’ve answered this before Tuesday. See what I mean? If I see an email that has a subject line of “Dr. Reality Steve,” sometimes I don’t even read it and immediately put it into that folder of emails and don’t officially read it until I start the column on Wednesday nights. Looks like that’s what happened here.

Anyway to be honest, guys don’t really care that much about receiving on Valentine’s Day. Well, receiving anything tangible. The other receiving? Well, that’s always a nice thought. But as you say, you didn’t have a lot of money, your anniversary and Christmas was in the last four months and it’s been a rough year. Anything thoughtful at that point would help. You don’t need to buy him anything on Valentine’s Day to make him happy. I’m sure you being his girlfriend for the last six years already did that. I just hope you just acknowledged that you appreciate what he’s done and that should be enough. Whether it was a card, a note, a voicemail anything where you appreciate what he’s done, I’m guessing he was happy.

And if you threw in a handy, well, that probably sealed the deal.

Hi Dr Steve,

Love your blog! Thanks for the laughs on Tuesdays and Thursdays!

I have a question for you that I hope you will answer. When in a relationship is it appropriate to bring up the subject of marriage? My boyfriend and I have been dating for over 8 months now, we never fight, spend every weekend together, we are older I’m 32 he’s 42, both agree on the important things like kids, politics, religion etc. We have kind of joked about it in the past, saying things like “when we get married we are getting a pool”, “when we have a kid your dealing with the dating issues” etc. On NYE I got a little silly on champagne and said I was going to marry him someday to which he said “well we wouldn’t be here now if that wasn’t a possibility”. Recently he stated he may be getting a new job and move out of state, I said that I would have no problem moving with him should that come up to which he was happy about but we have not talked about that since and it may no longer even be an issue. He wants to have kid(s) as do I and since we are at the ages we are I personally don’t want to have a kid when I’m pushing 40. Is it too soon to bring this up in a serious tone and if not how do I get this conversation started without freaking him out?

Thanks in advance for the advice!

Comment: That’s a tough one because every couple is different. It sounds like you guys aren’t against it, both want kids, and it’s been brought up before, so I don’t think you have much to worry about. And the fact that he responded with “well we wouldn’t be here now if that wasn’t a possibility” when you had your tipsy moment on NYE is a positive sign. I would just say ride it out, if it gets brought up again just go with it, but try and steer it into a more serious tone, instead of a playful one. If you guys both want to get married, it’s gonna get brought up at some point. But based on what you said, I don’t think you have much to worry about. Just be glad he didn’t go running for the hills when you got intoxicated on NYE and brought it up. Sounds like he’s gonna put a ring on it at some point.

This email was in response to last week’s question from the woman who slept with an ex 8 years ago on a one night fling, but is been married now with a child, but the child could be from that fling and she didn’t know if she should test to find out for sure, or just leave the past in the past..

Hey Steve,

In your Dr. Steve column this week, you asked about DNA testing. The easiest thing to do is compare blood types. I’m assuming she knows her own blood type, her son’s and her husbands. For example, if her blood type is A and her husbands is O, then their biological child has to be either A or O. If her kid is Type B or AB then it’s not his.

Otherwise, she needs a DNA test. All she has to do is get a kit and get swabs of the inside of her kids’ mouth and her husbands and send them to a lab or hospital. Not that invasive. The cost should be around $200.

I’m a lawyer and have seen this come up in divorces, adoptions, and other cases.

Enjoy your blog and keep up the great columns!

Comment: Looks like comparing blood types is the way to go. I’m guessing your husband might get a little suspicious of you asking him, “Hey honey, you mind if I swab your mouth for a second before I head to the lab? Thanks. You’re a peach.” Yeah, that might make it a little suspicious.

Hi Dr. Steve,

I know you hear this a lot, but I love your column. It definitely makes The Bachelor/Bachelorette seasons bearable to watch. One of my best friends lives in Seattle (I’m from Indiana) and we always chat on Monday nights about the episode and joke about what we think you will say about it. lol

Anyway, I need your perspective. Here’s a little background: I’ve been on and off with this man, we will call him Billy, for 4 years, with one of the break-ups lasting 8 months. In that time period, I met someone else who was in the Army, we will call him Bob. He left for AIT shortly after we started dating so the majority of our relationship was over the phone. We only had seen each other 4 times the duration of our 6 month relationship. But after a month he was telling me he knew I was the one for him and he was going to propose when he got home and blah blah blah. I’ve heard this is common with men in the military, but I thought I loved him and I let myself believe it would happen. So he comes home from AIT, and the next day we go to a concert with all his friends, get drunk, get in a fight and he breaks up with me. THE NEXT DAY. We talked a few times after the break up and he basically told me he wasn’t willing to change for anyone and just wasn’t at a place in his life for a serious relationship, contradicting EVERYTHING he had said while he was away for the Army. So, time goes on, Billy and I started talking again, resolved some of the difference we had previously had and are now dating again.

This morning, I wake up to a text message from Bob, saying that he is concerned for me, that all his friends have been blowing his phone up about my new boyfriend. What the hell am I thinking, he looks like a 12 year old with down syndrome….blah blah blah. I had many clever comebacks for this but decided to take the high road and basically tell him it was none of his business. He still continues texting me about it for an hour telling me I’m not ugly, I can do way better, what am I thinking…blah blah blah. So, I guess my question to you is, what the hell is his problem!? And what is the best way to handle it??

Comment: Sounds like military boy is jealous you moved on. Does he or his friends know who “Billy” is? Do they have some background info on him that you don’t know about, or, are they just acting like douches because they know “Bob” wants you back so they’re trying to plant the seed in your head to dump this guy? Some like petty jealousy. If you like the dude you’re with, tell Bob to put a sock in it and stay out of it unless he knows something of proof that you could be in danger with this guy. But if he’s just saying your dude is ugly, you can do better, etc then he’s just being jealous. Drop him an Adele line and say, “You could have had it aaaaaaalllllllllllll, rolling in the deeeeeeeeeeeeeeppppp.” His loss, not yours.

Send your emails to: To follow me on Twitter, it’s: Or join my Reality Steve Facebook Fan Page. Talk to you tonight.

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  1. Dianne

    February 16, 2012 at 12:29 PM

    I dunno, call me crazy, but don’t the pictures above of Courtney look more like professional modelling pictures (especially with the camera guy right behind her)?

    Also, I cannot belive ANYONE thought the story Steve told about the spider biting Courtney was for real!

  2. karynr

    February 16, 2012 at 12:49 PM

    I thought the same thing earlier. They look like professional modeling photos, but I’m sure they have hair and make-up people at their disposal to prepare for Final Rose (and take PR pictures).

    I also agree about the spider biting story. I was laughing quite heartily at that one and find it hard to believe someone would take it seriously.

  3. ChristineO

    February 16, 2012 at 1:15 PM

    “they’ve had some problems” DUDE!! the girl is a complete nutjob! seriously just plain crazy!! ya think he got it by now?? I know he is a bit slow but c’mon!!! LMAO

  4. AJ13

    February 16, 2012 at 1:41 PM

    The more I read the reader e-mail columns, the less I enjoy them and I’ll tell you why: I understand why you are a condescending jackwagon to the e-mailers that ask the ridiculously dumb questions (Did the tarantula really bite Courtney, is Emily the next B’ette etc.), because as Reality Steve, that is part of your ‘schtick’. However, even with the e-mailers who ask legitmate well-thought out questions, you are a condescending dismissive know-it-all jackwagon. You are the king of saying ‘that’s a stupid question’ in a hundred different ways without actually saying it. I don’t know if I’m in the minority here, but it bothers me. Just remember: You didn’t start getting a huge following until you obtained a source to leak spoilers…without them, your site traffic would be what it was before you had a source; practically non-existent. I just think you should treat your followers with more respect. Just a little constructive criticism that I doubt you’ll consider, because the only opinion that matters is your own, right? Sheesh, end rant.

  5. jfore

    February 16, 2012 at 1:48 PM

    I have avoided this site all season because I wanted to be surprised! lol But every week I get more and more annoyed that Courtney is still there and now I just read he PICKS her! OMG what an IDIOT…that’ll last a minute.

  6. cindy01

    February 16, 2012 at 1:54 PM

    Not surprised one bit that they’re having problems but of course like Steve says we won’t find out the real truth until the reunion shows….boy, ABC’s ratings are going to go thru the roof when they air.
    I do have to say that the pic of Courtney in Switzerland is absolutely gorgeous….what a shame that she acted the way she did in front of millions of people. Just think what an advantage it would have been for her if she would have acted like a normal human being on the show, I bet then her phone would be ringing off the hook with modeling gigs. I wonder if her career has been tarnished now with all this negativity in the media about her.
    I will bet you money that at the reunion shows Ben will anounce they’re not together anymore.

  7. MAC

    February 16, 2012 at 2:03 PM

    Ben’s nipples are freaking repulsive!! I almost feel bad for him. This season is so boring..Emily’s season will probably be even more boring. Guess I’m looking forward to Bachelor Pad.

    Also wanted to point out – re: the dna/blood test – isn’t it possible that the current husband and the ex she cheated with could have the same blood types?? Just saying. It’s not like there’s 50+ blood types in existence! According to the all-knowing Wikipedia, 37% of the US population is O+.

  8. karynr

    February 16, 2012 at 2:47 PM

    I’ve been reading a lot of breaking-type news this afternoon and wonder if the ATFR is going to be without one of the “winners”, or will it be a nasty free for all? This should be interesting. He’s mortified, but definitely an a##wipe, and would she show her face on national television after the past few weeks.

    Whoever made the comment about how positive her exposure could have been was so right. If she wouldn’t have been so damn narcicisstic and mean, she could have had offers pouring in, regardless of “winning” or not. How ignorant.

  9. wisewords

    February 16, 2012 at 4:26 PM

    Well said, AJ13. (We need a *like* button for good comments here!)

  10. georgiegirl

    February 16, 2012 at 4:53 PM

    Why is anyone assuming that Courtney ISN’T getting bombarded with modeling offers? I doubt they care if a model is a nice person or not. I think they pick models mostly because they are “unique” looking. Courtney is definitely unique looking. Unique as in almost alien.

  11. missmeghan

    February 16, 2012 at 5:12 PM

    I also agree AJ13. While i love the humor steve brings to this ridiculous show, he doesn’t show much appreciation for his fans that have made him successful. Last week he basically told us all off for hating on Courtney and to get a life and I notice the condescension in some of his e-mails as well. Stay real Steve! You have a lot of fans that love and appreciate all that you do- don’t put us down.

  12. mchrisb

    February 16, 2012 at 5:49 PM

    Like others here, apparently, I was avoiding RS so that I could be surprised but the longer Courtney has stayed, the more I’ve wanted to come here and now, here I am. Since reading RS’ final spoiler, I’ve been trying to think of an up-side to Nitwit Ben choosing oh-so-ugly-on-the-inside-Courtney and I think I have it! Now, Ben has to sit and watch how vile and disgusting Courtney acted throughout. Less Blakely and the girl that made out with her, most of the women this season had some class and dignity, like Kacie B! Ben would have been so lucky to have taken Kacie or Rachel or Emily or anyone but Courtney back to Sonoma with him! Side note: poor Jamie O., I could have included you in my list of dignity keepers but … you know.

    Well, Ben, you play, you pay – have fun with half of Hollywood’s reject left-overs(Courtney)! Kacie B, Rachel, Emily, etc – count your blessings! I imagine that you feel like Chantal from Brad’s season – like you dodged a bullet!

  13. Dianne

    February 17, 2012 at 7:03 AM

    AJ13, you are TOTALLY the minority! If you don’t like what Steve puts out, then don’t read, and don’t comment. Steve Rules!!!!!!

  14. jnalya

    February 17, 2012 at 7:51 AM

    Aj13 you are right on the money. Definitely their are persons who ask ridiculous questions and I truly understand his witty and condescending attitude about it. But there are persons who are asking genuine questions and he seem almost annoyed or tired of typing or something. I love this site I am here almost every Tuesdays and Thursdays but there is always room for improvement. The improvement is answering person’s geniune questions like you want too.

  15. mixingmel

    February 17, 2012 at 11:55 AM

    I think this show will always be a complete joke unless they quite asking people that are obviously seeking “publicity” to be on their show in the first place and start asking the normal “joe/missy” What I mean by that is make it more real with real people have a matching chemistry locator like e-harmony or “match chemistry” to locate possible individuals that might be a fit FOR ONE. Just because someone is “hot” and has a good job is not an indicator of a good potential relationship,yea they help but these people that are placed on the show are OBVIOUSLY seeking publicity. They are obviously not interested in an actual relationship because they don’t even ask the most basic questions of one another and like Ben’s case was just out for a good time (based on his connection with Courtney, I mean REALLY?? if he was that immature to even PICK her then he is not ready and is not even capable of seeing/picking out a lasting true “partner”.) He is swatting at pretty flies catching them and then deciding if they are right there’s no rhyme or reason to his choices. And I don’t buy; well “Courtney was there to connect with “Ben” BS and why she couldn’t get along with others EVEN if she was dating the same man! Getting along with people you don’t necessarily like IS A VALUED life skill! If someone can’t connect/get along with anyone other than the person they are trying to “seek” then they have connection issues and mental shallowness which are not good qualities to have in a future companion. Courtney was the essence of “have a good time, in the moment” connection, which is perfect for the relationship incompetent person (Ben) that is out for a good time. GOOD CALL ASHLEY!!!

    There should also be challenges within the show that offer a “dimension” of “team-work” AND “communication”, and I DO NOT mean like the bachelor pad OMG how stupid is THAT SHOW. Someone should come up with a real version of this show it would have so much potential. Bachelor and Bachelorette will always be a complete bomb and a complete stupid waste of peoples time until they get a real dose of “realism” to it.

    Also, I think its sleazy to allow them to kiss each other or have intimate contact with one another until the end, its just trashy, I mean COMMON!

  16. mixingmel

    February 17, 2012 at 12:05 PM

    Oh, and one more thing. Courtney is UGLY and has a mouth of a lizzard…. Just had to say that! What is wrong with that girls mouth besides her insane personality??? She’s gross all the way around, sleezy ho.

  17. locondcoco

    February 17, 2012 at 12:17 PM

    Completely agree with AJ13. As much as I appreciate all the insite and info that RS provides, it does not give him the right to treat his loyal readers the way he does. You know whats more annoying than getting a repeat question? Reading RS repeat every post about how he’s had the spoilers right MOST of the time, how he always has them first and months before the first episode even airs, how no one credits him for the info, and how he can’t believe people still question him when he’s been pretty spot on with every spoiler. Thats nice. We know that. Thats why we’re here. We hate repetition as much as you do, Steve. Stop repeating yourself and we’ll stop it with the repeated questions.

  18. Sue

    February 17, 2012 at 1:02 PM

    Two things:

    1. Can anyone tell me who Kellie Raspberry is that a reader said RS should date?

    2. For those who think RS is kind of a jerk in answering reader emails or in promoting himself in his column, what do you think about his Dr. Reality Steve responses? I’ve been pleasantly surprised at what a nice, reasonable, considerate guy he seems to be — definitely a kinder, gentler RS! Now I’m wondering if that is the REAL Steve and if Reality Steve is just a character he’s putting out there.

  19. dketch

    February 17, 2012 at 4:42 PM

    I just got round to reading Sunday’s NYTimes – article called “The Roses! The Romance! The Roasts!” and it quotes Mike Fleiss as saying: “I try not to take it too seriously, whether people are saying ‘this is my favorite season’ or ‘I’m never watching this show again’ – WHAT I LOOK AT IS THE SHEER VOLUME OF THE RESPONSE.” That just goes to show you – he doesn’t care what the viewers think – you can hate Courtney, love her, or anything else about the show, but as long as whatever they put on the show, if it stirs up a big response (as it is definitely doing with the whole Courtney thing), that’s all he cares about. RS has had this show – and Fleiss – pegged from the beginning!

  20. keekster

    February 18, 2012 at 2:00 PM

    Ummmm Hello? “Reality” Steve is not always accurate. I seem to recall a “I know with 100% certainty” result he shared that was completely WRONG.

    And I agree with the masses – I rarely come here because of the condescending know it all attitude!

  21. nikkineel

    February 18, 2012 at 11:33 PM

    My friend just ran into a friend of Ben Fs. Sounds like its a little dicey w/ Courtney.

  22. nikkineel

    February 18, 2012 at 11:34 PM

    I just cant wait until Ben takes Courtney home to his family!!! His mom and sister in their pearl necklaces…they are gonna die! This is gonna be much better than JP and Ashley H

  23. JovisMom

    February 20, 2012 at 10:15 AM

    @ Sue – Kellie Raspberry is a radio personality on Kiss 106.1 (or Kidd Kraddick in the norning) a radio station in Dallas/Ft Woth. If you go to you can see pics of her and even listen to the phone. I know this because I live in Dallas.

    I also completely agree w\ you on your second point.

  24. JovisMom

    February 20, 2012 at 10:15 AM

    * listen to the show

    Sorry 🙂

  25. mirabelleglass67

    February 20, 2012 at 7:55 PM

    Dear ABC please be more aware of the sequence in which you replay your “reality” footage. On more than one occasion i have noticed “movie” mistakes in the bachelor alone. Most recently tonight. example: when ben goes on courtneys home town date you show them meeting the parents first then doing the fake wedding but during scenes at her home they are both already wearing their grass rings. Now this would be ok seeing as tv is meant to portray things to be in a more appealing morder BUT while they are walking to their picnik WITHOUT the rings ben says to coutney that her parents are good people( or something to that affect)

  26. mirabelleglass67

    February 20, 2012 at 8:01 PM

    Phone commenting messed me up but my point is that if you want us to believe in your so called reality shows then dont make it so damn obvious that you’re rigging things up and telling them what to say. seems like production companies are so focused on pulling in reviews that they have yet to hire a decent editor to actually catch those things. lame

  27. russellsfan

    February 21, 2012 at 7:08 AM

    I think her lips are injected with collagen. Her mother’s top lip is very thin. It would explain the odd mouth thing Courtney has.

  28. mags1022

    February 21, 2012 at 7:50 AM

    I too agree with AJ13…fans spend their time writing out questions and visiting the site and should get a thoughtful answer (or an answer period) to their questions. I love the site…keeps me entertained but I don’t think fans should be belittled for actually participating in the conversation.

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