-Lets address two things right off the bat regarding Courtney’s hometown date that I got bombarded with on emails right when it was over. First, yes, I’m fully aware that the vows that she wrote for Ben was very similar to what Carrie Bradshaw said in the “Sex in the City” finale. No, not because I ever watched that garbage, but because at least 25 of you emailed me about it last night. We will get to that quote later. However, we should’ve probably addressed it first since for whatever reason, this date was shot out of sequence. When we see Ben and Courtney meet her family, both of them have on the fake rings she gave him during the faux wedding. And had them on the whole time they were chillin with the family. Hometown dates always go the same way: the couple meets, they do something together, THEN they go meet the family later. When they showed Ben arriving and immediately meeting the family first, I’m thinking, “Did they have somewhere else to be? Why is the family meeting him before anything else happened?” Well, we got our answer. They didn’t. The faux wedding was shot after they met the parents, but for some reason, they decided to show it out of order. No idea why.
-As Ben is arriving in Scottsdale, we hear a voice over of Courtney saying, “I feel bad for the things I’ve done and said to the other girls.” I’ve had a couple emails and tweets to me last night and this morning suggesting that these voiceovers were recorded after filming was over to try and soften Courtney’s image and are the beginnings of a little damage control. Whatever. Look, if people want to play conspiracy theorist, go ahead. What exactly could that be based on? How in the world do we know when she said it? We don’t. Maybe it was her saying it during filming. Or maybe she did say it in post-production and they threw it in there. Who knows? I don’t, you don’t, so I don’t really see the point in discussing it. We’ll never get an answer to whether it was or wasn’t, so I don’t really think it’s worth discussing. She said it, lets move on. And Ben essentially repeats a line that we heard last week. “It would bother me if I ended up with someone who rubbed people the wrong way.” Oh, she’s sure rubbed America the wrong way, Bennie. In fact, I think she rubbed them so wrong, their skin is raw. I guess it’s up to you two see how you can go about changing that. I wish you the best of luck in fighting such a losing battle.
-At the house, Ben meets her Dad Rick, mom Susan, and sister Rachel. I’m a little confused by Rick. He looks like Joe Biden, but he also seems to have raided Rick Santorum’s sweater vest closet for this date. Soooo, which party is her dad affiliated with? He’s giving us mixed signals. At lunch, Rachel asks her sister, “So HAVE you fallen or ARE you falling?” I believe Courtney responded with, “I like/love him.” Ummmm, I have no idea what that means. You like your friends. You love your boyfriend. Maybe she’s waiting until after the finale airs to give us a clear answer as to what the hell that meant. Of course, mom Sherry chimes in with her thoughts early in the date, “I’d be very surprised if she was in love him.” So would probably 8,399,990 of their 8.4 million viewers last week. However, her mom does tell Courtney, “You’re as happy as I’ve seen you.” Really? I can’t tell with Courtney. I don’t think anyone can, which is the biggest problem people are having with her. I have no idea if she actually likes Ben or if she likes winning. Or maybe it’s both. Based on the edit they’ve shown us of her, she’s been much more about outdoing the other girls and going out of her way to steal Ben’s attention. Some look at it as a competitive streak, some look at it as going after what she wants. All I know is Ben pretty much defends her actions in all of his blogs and makes it known he appreciated how aggressive she was on the show.
-Rick Santorum now has some words of wisdom when he’s pulled Ben aside for some guy talk. “Marriage is life’s greatest gamble. You have a 50% chance of winning. You ready to make that bet, Ben?” Gee sir, when you put it like that, where do I sign up? I felt like Mr. Santorum found this line on the internet or something and saved it up for this date. Marriage is life’s greatest gamble? I figured Russian Roulette was. Not to mention, I think his theory about marriage is wrong. Sure, once you get married, you either stay married or you get divorced, so that’s where his 50% comes in. But that’s assuming you have an equal playing field, like, two normal heterosexual adults decide to get married. But if two crackheads decide to tie the knot, those odds of them staying married are probably lower than 50%, just like if two people who are devoted to the church and don’t believe in divorce, I’m guessing there are higher than 50%. This is getting a little too mathematical for me, but I think you get what I’m saying. I think. Then pops chimes in “I’d love to have a son-in-law and some grandkids.” Ben: “Hey, whoa, slow down there dad. It’s only been a month since my little swimmers went to work in the ocean. Still got a little a while before we know for sure.”
-Further along in the day (TV time, less than five minutes. Real time, probably a few hours) looks like Courtney’s mom has had a change of heart. Courtney: “I’ve been with these guys that take advantage of me and take me for granted.” Seems like we’ve heard pretty much all of Courtney’s ex’s or their friends come forward since the show started. Half of them have defended her, half of them haven’t. Kinda weird how a bunch of people from her past are talking but we haven’t heard a peep from any of Kacie’s, Lindzi’s, or Nicki’s ex’s. Might not mean anything, but I just wanted to point it out. Anyway, Susan Robertson is sold now. It must’ve been Ben’s hair or something that did the trick. “I think she loves him. That’s good for me.” That was a mighty quick turnaround. Could’ve been your daughter convincing you Ben is the one. Could’ve been the way Ben charmed the pants off of the whole family. Or, my guess, it was the bottle of wine you all were downing.
-So after leaving the family, we now see Ben and Courtney headed over to the picnic where the faux wedding was set up. Considering the rings were shown during the whole time with the family, unless the rings weren’t a surprise when she busted them out at the altar, then yeah, this was filmed first. Courtney: “I’m ready for that chapter in my life and I see that with you.” She shows him a place where she’s always dreamed of getting married, and the whole place is set up for a mini wedding. So she has it planned out where they’ll do the whole nine yards – vows, rings, and even a silly bowtie that if he were ever to wear on his wedding day, he’d be laughed at uncontrollably by the gallery in attendance. Ben, you look like my high school science teacher in that plaid shirt and bow tie. Just need a pair of goggles and a Bunsen burner to complete the wardrobe. Dork. Ben’s vows (edited version): “Is this too good to be true…I got my answer in Belize…thank you for believing in me.” Ummmm, I think you got your answer a bit earlier than Belize, don’t you think? I’d say the second her bra and panties came flying off in Puerto Rico and your heat seeking missile found shelter in her meat cave, all was good.
-As for Courtney’s vows, here’s where the issue came up. Plenty of you emailed me about it, Chris Harrison tweeted about it, even Michelle Money did as well, claiming that Courtney plagiarized her vows from the “Sex in the City” finale. Lets compare the two:
Carrie Bradshaw: “I’m looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other-love.”
Courtney Roberston: “I’m looking for love. Passionate, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love.”
Was it similar? Yes. Was it exact? No. But the better question, “Does it really f***ing matter?” No. Who cares if she used something similar that she saw on TV? Ummm, don’t most of you women wish your love life was straight out of a chick flick anyway? You don’t think at a lot of weddings across the world, the vows that the bride and groom exchange, that some of the quotes they use are ones they found on the internet or were passed down from someone else, or hell, even taken from a movie? Of course they are. I really don’t see what the big deal was that she used something similar to a TV show. You know why? BECAUSE THIS IS A TV SHOW!!!! For those that might be a tad confused, that wasn’t a real wedding last night. It was make believe. So if you’re gonna have a make believe wedding, why not use some lines that are make believe as well? If Courtney rips lines from the “Notebook” to use at her real wedding someday, then you can bitch about it. But this was silly nonsense. Who cares?