Reality Steve

Dr. Reality Steve

“Reader Emails,” WTA Taping Tomorrow, & My Favorite “Dr. Reality Steve” Question Ever Asked

Seriously Steve, I really want to know how you find this $hit out. It’s crazy. I laugh every night when the show ends and sure enough you’re right.

Comment: Well, let me tell ya’. First……yeah right.

I was wondering if the girls are ever “coached” on what character they play for the season, or if it’s just by random chance that the editors make them look that way? For example, is it possible they told Courtney that she was to play the crazy character this season? I’d guess there might be a few that are brought on specifically to act out roles on this show.

Do you know if they ever need to film the final proposal several times to get the right shot? After the proposal filming is done, what happens next? Do they fly home that night? Do they have a wrap party? Or do the winners go straight to the safe house? I think that’d be the most awkward time, you just accepted a proposal from someone you’ve known only 6 weeks, you can’t tell anyone, and the party is basically over.

Comment: No. These editors basically look at all the footage, then start editing people the way they want to. Nothings laid out in advance because you don’t know what footage each person will give you. Then again, this show has the ability to make the biggest asshole seem like the nicest person, and vice versa. I know so many of you find that hard to believe, but the things they do in editing on this show, and the stories I could tell you would blow your mind. However, I can’t get into stuff like that. It’s too deep.

Yes, the final couple usually gets to stay 2-3 days extra in that location to hang out and have lots of sex. There is a wrap party as well, but, I’m guessing the final couple wants to get the hell out of there as quickly as possibly so they can start knocking it out immediatley.

First of all I am obsessed with your blog! Love watching the show with my family and knowing who wins but they don’t!

I have a couple questions and i know you probably answer the same ones but hopefully you will answer me

1. Who picks the 25 men or women to be on the show and how do they decide?
2. How long do they stay at each place?
3. Are the contestants allowed any contact with family or friends?
4. How much do the girls or guys get paid to be on the show?
5. Are there cameras everywhere the girls go?
6. Does Ben pick who he wants to go on each date or is that already decided?

Comment: 1. The casting department, which also includes producers input. Certain producers sit in during the in-person interviews.

2. 5-7 days

3. Nope. For the 100,000th time.

4. Nothing. If you get to the final four, you get to go shopping with your handler to buy clothes and that’s paid for . But just to be on the show? Nothing. “Bachelor Pad” is different. You get $750 for every episode you’re on.

5. Yes, excluding the bathroom I believe.

6. That’s already decided.

And since you sound like a complete virgin to my blog, let me also let you know the driveway at the mansion is wet because they hose it down for TV purposes, Ben chose Courtney this season, and Emily Maynard is the next “Bachelorette.” Glad I could help and I won’t have to answer that again until, oh I don’t know, probably next week.

Hi Steve,

Are they contractually obligated to use the word “journey”, “right reasons”, “very real” etc constantly on this show? (i notice they have backed off on “values” this season…very glad.) is it strongly encouraged? is it all just a weird coincidence that almost every contestant and bachelor/ette happens to talk that way? is it to help out those crazy kids who drink every time they say these things? The over-use of certain words/phrases has gotten to the point of ridiculous, the people on the show have to realize everyone makes fun how much they all say “journey,” i was just wondering if there was some reason they continue to say these insane taglines over and over every season.

Also, i know you hear this a lot but i wanted to thank you for all that you do to keep us entertained and informed; you are hilarious, spot on, and the only reason many of us are still watching this borderline dullsville season, myself included. Thanks!

Comment: No, they’re not contractually obligated to say anything. But that’s the formula for the show that works, and most contestants have seen the show before, so when talking about the other person, “journey,” “connection,” etc just seem to come natural.


First, I love your blog and your Bachelor/ette spoilers and recaps are the reasons I still love the shows!

I have a question. Of all the shows you do recaps for, which one is the hardest to make yourself watch and recap each week?

Comment: I recap “Bachelor,” “Bachelorette,” and “Bachelor Pad.” I don’t write for any of the other shows on my site. I’m guessing if you’ve read any of them, you never actually got to the last page where each column says, “Written by…” and then the name after that isn’t mine.

So this person actually thinks I write episode recaps for, what, 10 different shows? Uhhhhh, my head would explode if I did that.

Back-to-back questions essentially asking the same thing…

Hey Steve,

Sweet blog! Question, it seems like the final four girls always come from affluent, picturesque backgrounds. Have there ever been any dates that were brought home to like a trailer park or the projects? Do the girls have to have a certain socio-economic background in order to be cast?

Hey Steve

Big fan of the blog. Your Wookie comment last week had me laughing for a good 5 minutes.

Quick question – it seems like everyone who makes it to the hometown dates comes from extremely wealthy families with perfect homes (except maybe Viena and her swamp house). Is there a requirement to have a nice home, or is it just the luck of the draw that each contestant has a beautiful family home??

Comment: “Extremely wealthy” families? Really? By watching Monday’s episode you came to that conclusion? Chantal O’Brien’s family was “extremely wealthy.” Hell, we saw their mansion had pillars in front of it. But Lindzi, Kacie, Nikki, and Courtney? If those homes came across to you as “extremely wealthy,” I guess we have a different opinion of what that means. I thought all four women came from good, middle class families. Nothing too extravagant.

Dear Steve

First of all, I love your blog. I was so mad when my sister found you during Jason’s season and spilled the beans about the ATFR debacle. Since then, I couldn’t help but peek at your blog and find out the ending. Now I have given up totally and follow religiously. By the way, why is the driveway always wet and where was the funeral for the tarantula? Hahaha!

As I sit here watching the Bachelor tonight I am struck by how several of the girls have used the term “boyfriend” this season. I don’t recall contestants giving the lead the distinction of “boy/girlfriend” in previous seasons. I think this is completely idiotic. Doesn’t the term imply an exclusive relationship? How can someone be your boyfriend I they are openly dating three or four other women? Just something that bugged me from this season.

Also one “for my amusement” question. Even though you have repeatedly said that you would not ever be the bachelor and I completely accept that, let’s just play for a moment that you were. Let also say that Courtney has made it this far. What is your fantasy of how you send her off the show? Looking forward to your answer to my obscure question. I am sure it will be hilarious as you always are.

Comment: I did notice a lot of them were calling Ben their boyfriend on Monday and it did dawn on me that was kind of strange. Don’t really remember hearing much in the past, so not really sure why it was so prevalent this season.

Courtney just wouldn’t make it that far if were on the show. Sure, she’s very good looking, but I can’t imagine she would’ve had the p***y control over me like she does over Ben. I just couldn’t see that happening.

Hey Steve – I love your Bachelor recaps and video blogs. So great. (And I love how Maddie runs away when you give her a treat. Funny girl.)

A quick question about past seasons of the Bachelor/Bachelorette:

I only started watching last season, so this may have been something that’s happened frequently, but have there been any (many?) seasons where they bring a contestant on who’s actually a friend of the lead, and who’s sole purpose is to keep tabs on others in the house to report back to the lead?

I guess this would only be helpful to the lead if the lead was ACTUALLY interested in finding a mate, rather than selling themselves or a product. And I’m not sure if that has happened recently. Or ever.

Again, thanks for all your info and commentary. Hilarious.

Comment: The only season where I remember that happening was Jesse Palmer’s season. He had a female friend that stuck around for I think the first two or three episodes and reported back to him every night, even though the women thought she was there to date him. Not sure why they haven’t done that again. It definitely could work.


1. Do the leads get any say on certain types that they absolutely do not want cast? Like smokers, women with children, no divorcees, etc? I assume most don’t care about the women with children since one or two seem to be thrown in every season but just curious if they get any say.

2. Do Ben or the ladies have a chance to brush their teeth of somehow freshen their breath during these things. I can’t imagine after a day of eating, drinking or kissing (multiple people on Ben’s part) that their breath stays fresh.

3. You never really see these girls eat,( I understand that is boring TV) but since they are not allowed out do they just send a handler to get what they want from a store or restaurant? Or is someone there that cooks for them? What about when they are traveling and only in places for a short amount of time?

4. When they are on the dates, do they pick out the extravagant meals that we always see on the tables? What if someone is a vegetarian and they give them a big steak meal?

5. When we see the shots of the girls sitting around talking about Courtney or whatever the subject may be, do the producers have them do that or are they really just sitting around with each other like that all the time?

6. I think you mentioned this before but I can’t remember your response: on the HTD, are the girls seeing their parents for the first time when they walk in with Ben?

7. William tweed “They are driving Kacie around for no joke about 2 hours making sure she cries…. trust me 2 hour minimum…. whoa wtf happened” Will they really drive them around that long? That’s Crazy!

Comment: 1. I think they generally sit down with the lead before the season to ask what they look for in a mate and the casting people take it into consideration, but, their job is to cast a reality show, not find the 25 most perfect candidates for their lead.

2. There’s no gum chewing allowed, I do know that. My guess is breath strips or tic tacs or whatever that are consumed when the camera isn’t on them.

3. In the house, food is supplied by the handlers and they cook for themselves. Usually there’s always someone in the house that’s a cook, or a couple people, and they make stuff for everyone else. And I’ve heard occasionally the handlers will go out and get stuff already made like pizza.

4. The meals are all picked out in advance. They don’t have a say in what they eat. Other than telling them, “I’m allergic to this,” or “I’ll never eat that,” they are served what the show decides they’ll serve. But it’s such an insignificant part of this show, I don’t really know what’s been served in the past.

5. They are put in situations and told to start talking about things that they know will generate a reaction. Not much is spontaneous on this show, if anything.

6. Yes.

7. They’ve driven people around for 5-7 hours before. Their single goal once you get eliminated and are in the car leaving, is to get you to cry. They will bring up anything and everything to get you to that point, and it usually has nothing to do with just getting dumped. Your ugly dress, why are you still single, do you think you’ll ever find love, tell us about your dead grandma and how much she meant to you, what about your dog that died last year – on and on it goes. They have a whole file on you and what’s happened in your life. You had to fill out a 1,000 question survey about yourself, so they know exactly what buttons to push.

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  1. nitegal

    February 23, 2012 at 9:58 AM

    I have only read the first page, thus far, but wanted to let you know that Shawntel Newton is supposed to be on the WTA as well. She was on her local news promoting her book that she wrote about her business and she couldn’t give to much info out about what happened when she returned since she would be on the WTA episode. She did say that most of the girls were indeed nasty to her.

  2. tennesseegirl

    February 23, 2012 at 10:45 AM

    They can’t have a friend of the lead report back to him what’s going on in the house because there would be no drama left! He or she would likely trust that friend and get rid of the the crazy (but entertaining) people early on.

  3. bigfatwoman

    February 23, 2012 at 11:06 AM

    To the person who wrote in telling Steve of her stupid friends who bet money with her on the outcome of Bachelor episodes…..and she continuously wins because they don’t have the sense to find Steve’s spoilers.

    On behalf of those friends that you’re stealing from and making into fools week after week….here is a message to you on their behalf.

    F**k off you dishonest dolt.

  4. liz123

    February 23, 2012 at 11:11 AM

    FYI, the mason jar wine glasses are all the rage right now (no idea why) & are not all that rare. I live in Nashville, so they’re not rare at all here actually. But I have friends from all over the country who have them, so I don’t know where you’ve been hiding if you haven’t seen them. Nothing new (or Southern) in seeing Lindzi’s parents with them. Also, Lindzi’s family lives in Florida. Doesn’t everybody know that the only thing Southern about Florida is it’s geography? 😀

  5. marymac

    February 23, 2012 at 11:36 AM

    I like those mason jar glasses. Seeing those made me want to get some.

    Steve, when I click on your email me link it forces me into Outlook. Outlook sucks and I do not want to configure an account for it. Can you please put up an image of your email address?

  6. morrigan0

    February 23, 2012 at 12:20 PM

    @marymac email is just roll your cursor over the link instead of clicking it and it shows up on bottom left of window.

    DrRS fav email seems like a fake. Titanic was in theatres when I was in HS over 20 years ago and I seriously doubt it’s a trend for current kids EVEN considering the anniversary hype.

  7. DawsMA

    February 23, 2012 at 12:57 PM

    Morrigan0 I agree with you, and also call fake on the girl saying she makes money off her friends for betting on the rejects. No way would her friends continue forking over money when even most viewers who don’t want to know the spoilers know that they at least exist. Duh.

  8. dketch

    February 23, 2012 at 1:02 PM

    Sorry @morrigan0… Titanic came out in 1997 which means it’s only been 15 years, not “over 20”, but you’re right about HS kids now probably not knowing much or caring about it.

  9. BrookeForester

    February 23, 2012 at 1:55 PM

    If the letter was really from a girl who is in high school, it proves a point. You get really rude about questions being asked that you’ve answered several times before. First off, I am assuming that one of your goals by having this blog is that you would like to continually increase your number of readers. Second, if someone in high school is writing you, you can assume they were around five years old when the Bachelor first began, so I highly doubt they would have come on here until now, and therefore, would have no idea that you had previously answered any of these questions. There is no way, if I was a new reader here, I would have the time or the desire to go read pages, and pages, and pages of previous seasons’ recaps, and then remember all the questions and answers. Please be just a little bit humble and be thankful that you have new readers who are taking the time to read your blogs and ask you questions. When I read a question that has been asked and answered here several times, I remember that that is the price you pay for having an entertaining blog that new people are constantly checking out.

  10. locondcoco

    February 23, 2012 at 2:18 PM

    RS obviously failed “how to tell time” in grade school. His goal is to post by noon, CST. If he lived in a state in EST, well, then he would likely want to post by noon EST, meaning it would be an hour earlier in EVERY OTHER TIME ZONE west of it.

  11. jenhering

    February 23, 2012 at 4:54 PM

    I don’t think most people don’t ask you (Steve) all these questions about The Bachelor because we are dying to know the answer — I think it is because you are a cool and charasmatic guy who is thoroughly entertaining! I find your posts and blogs well written and entertaining. For me, watching this show is a couple of hours of falling back into the couch, kids alseep and just not having to think of anything and just plain giggle at the show; and then on Thursday hear what you have to say on the web cast! I think it is awesome you have such success and make a living doing this!

  12. stina2bina

    February 23, 2012 at 11:04 PM

    LOL at the last Dr. Reality Steve question… I hate to say it but when I was 17, my “camp boyfriend” (yes, I had one of those), recreated that Titanic scene with me too :p

  13. Dianne

    February 24, 2012 at 6:30 AM

    I really detest all the people that come onto Steve’s blog just to bash him. Look, if you don’t like what Steve puts down, then please, do us a favour and a) don’t read his posts, and b) keep your rude comments to yourself.

  14. locondcoco

    February 24, 2012 at 7:51 AM

    Dianne, I’m going to assume i’m included in the people you detest. But i’m totally one who believes that “if you can dish it, then you should be able to take it”. He responds to the email i’m referencing by giving the emailer a lesson in time zones. but he’s totally missing the point of the email and what the person was saying. he constantly says how stupid people can be, and how stupid the questions he gets are sometimes. well, sometimes, he is no different. Besides, RS has said on many occasions that he does not read these comments (which i still have a hard time believing).

  15. locondcoco

    February 24, 2012 at 7:57 AM

    oh, but dont get me wrong, for the most part i’m a huge fan and appreciate all the info he provides. i just wish he could do it without the arrogant attitude, espeically towards his readers.

  16. Dianne

    February 24, 2012 at 8:00 AM

    locondcoco, Steve is Steve, and he’s not going to change. Get used to it. If he wants to be snarky in his e-mail replies, then that’s his prerogative. This is HIS blog, not yours, mine, or anyone elses. If people want to ask dumb questions (in Steve’s mind), then they can expect the type of answers they receive from him.

  17. liz123

    February 24, 2012 at 10:57 AM

    You are absolutely right, Dianne, one may do whatever they wish on their own blog. But when you strive for readers & then achieve that goal, you have to expect some of those readers to have opinions. When you respond to readers that you’ve gone to great efforts to obtain in snarky ways & explain why they aren’t very smart (times zone email) & your explanation is wrong & misses their entire point then you have to expect a little snark in return. KWIM? It’s the same as if I made a comment pointing out that you spelled a word wrong only to spell a word wrong myself. I can be a little snarky myself & I know that if I’m going to be that way I better check & double check myself & have a pretty thick skin. I’m guessing that RS also feels that way. The snarky of the world know how to take it & RS is definitely one of the great snarks of the world.

  18. Grace80

    February 24, 2012 at 4:30 PM

    I can’t address the validity of the e-mail, but I do teach/coach high school girls and believe me, these girls know and watch the Titanic. It’s not like girls stop watching romantic movies if the movie isn’t a new release.

  19. sunny1

    February 24, 2012 at 9:49 PM

    I generally don’t read the reader emails but since you stated your ‘favorite’ reader email of all time was in this blog, I thought I would check it out.

    I was appalled that you responded that way to a junior in high school. Seriously Steve? This girl is heartbroken, probably for the first time and she just wants to understand what happened and especially why someone would break up with her over a text.
    I think your response made her feel even WORSE than she was. I hope she never emails you again. Seriously dude?! You think it is ‘funny, bizarre’ ?! You made her feel like a weirdo for having a boyfriend who reenacted a scene from Titanic with her which at that age could be romantic in the right setting. So now, the poor dear, who was just hurt and confused, now feels like a weirdo and an idiot, thanks to you. Oh yeah, all high school kids, write to Steve for your romantic dilemmas.

    Steve, I rarely write here, but if you are writing to an adult that is a different thing. Children, yes, high school kids are still children, are a whole different ballgame. Their hearts are easily shattered and hurt and fragile. You have to remind yourself of that before you respond to them the way you do to adults.

    You are being vulnerable on this site too with complete strangers, everyone knows you are single and you wish you weren’t ( I understand the loneliness, I am 38 and single too), but how would you feel if someone responded with those comments when you were being vulnerable with them? I am actually pretty pissed off – I hope you read this and realize that you need to be kinder and gentler with children. Sensitivity would not be a bad thing to invite when writing to young adults.

  20. ishouldbeembarrassed

    February 25, 2012 at 7:35 AM

    Steve, I have always enjoyed your sense of humor, but my respect for you grew a notch when you wrote about the skinny dipping episode, and how Ben didn’t seem to remember he was dating other women and that was a disrespectful act towards them. Thank you, thank you.

    Courtney has been nothing but disrespectful of Ben, of the other women, of the process and of the seriousness of marriage. I know, I know, this is just TV, but when she can’t even look Ben in the eye, when she has to hedge her remarks about her feelings towards him, she’s not only a bad actress, she’s a bad liar, and it’s unbelievable that she can be taken seriously. Yeah, I want a lifetime partner who tries to find every reason to take her clothes off on national television. My children will have such a great role model!!

    And I like Ben. I’m sorry he’s getting so much grief, but the West Coast is different from the rest of the country and he’s not a mophead where he’s from. Why is everyone on about Ben’s hair, when the women can’t stop pulling their hair out of their eyes? ugh. Growing grapes and making wine is a really complicated endeavor that requires real dedication, planning ahead, understanding lots of science, dealing with the public, and is well respected in his part of the country. He’s in one of the most competitive businesses in the state. He’s got it together, he knows what he loves and he’s good at it. How many men do we know who fit that description?

    All I can say, Ben, is prenup, prenup, prenup.

    And, Steve, I wasn’t even going to bother with this season, but reading your columns make it a lot more interesting!

  21. angelamh66

    February 25, 2012 at 11:48 AM

    @ishouldbeembarrassed … all of that may be true of a real winemaker but trust me, Benny Boy is not involved in this business like that. He is nothing more than a shareholder. It is not his know-how that drives that business.

  22. annabelle555

    February 26, 2012 at 10:58 AM

    We’ve got the “Cajun Wine Glasses” here in Louisiana also. It’s the latest trend for some unknown reason. Red solo cups work just as well!
    Also, I thought I read on the site earlier this week that Courtney will be at the WTA, but I’m not seeing it now. Anyone know anything about that situation?

  23. mommyof2

    February 26, 2012 at 12:27 PM

    @ annabelle555 I think what you saw is the link to WetPaint that Steve posted on his RealitySteve Fan FB page. I guess he didn’t post it on his website since it’s not here. I’m glad Courtney’s suppose to be at the WTA taping. Now it should be somewhat interesting…

  24. rbmom123

    February 26, 2012 at 3:35 PM

    Why do you answer some of the questions so seriously? Can you not tell that people are trying to be funny?!

  25. nikkineel

    February 27, 2012 at 4:39 PM

    Is it just me or is this the lamest season of the Bachelor ever? The producers really need to go back to the drawing room.

  26. nikkineel

    February 27, 2012 at 4:46 PM

    I cannot say enough about how LACKLUSTER these ladies have been!!! I mean Kacie B and the eating disorder…really? this is not an after school special.

  27. nikkineel

    February 27, 2012 at 4:56 PM

    I feel like the producers are determined to sabotage their show because they are taking out the stuff we love. The people are the key to the show and these characters have not been well cast.

  28. nikkineel

    February 27, 2012 at 4:58 PM

    Ben is dull and he is awkward and immature. He is trying way too hard and its obvious he will choose the victoria secret model because hes never been cool enough to get a model.

  29. ishouldbeembarrassed

    February 29, 2012 at 6:28 PM

    Sorry, Steve, not trying to promote his book. I was just trying to find info that said what he really did do in his business, since others are trashing him at regular intervals 🙂 I definitely would be torn if I had you and Ben at my last rose ceremony *hugs*

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