Reality Steve

The Bachelor 16 - Ben

The Bachelor Ben Finale Recap Including Corrections on Two of Emily’s Guys, Bentley Rumors, My Trip This Weekend & How You Can See Emily’s Date on Friday

-So here are some actual thoughts on what we saw during the three hours last night. A very much condensed recap than normal because, really, everything we saw for two hours was pretty anti-climactic considering the ending has been a forgone conclusion for months. Like did it really matter what these people did or said on their last dates together? Didn’t think so. Courtney was someone Ben knew early on he was into, and everyone else was just a piece of the puzzle to carry along. Remember, Ben has a show to put on. Even if he knew early on it was gonna be Courtney, he has to have rose ceremonies, he has to eliminate people a few at a time, has to go on hometown dates, has to have overnight dates with three women, and has to have a final two. You can’t just cut the show off after a few episodes and be like, “Ok, I want to choose her.” That’s why it’s so ridiculous to sit through the final episode and listen to every word he and Lindzi said to each other. It’s all just for the cameras.

-You know what I loved about seeing Ben’s mom and sister visit Switzerland? And this also goes for future seasons as well. You know Ben’s mom and sister knew damn well about my site and were following along with where Ben was going, what he’d been doing, who he’d eliminated, etc. Hell, they probably could’ve gotten to Switzerland and told him, “Oh yeah, we know all about these two. How was Belize? What about Panama? Did you enjoy your baseball game in Puerto Rico? Make no mistake about it, even though these two hadn’t seen their son since Sonoma, they were very well aware of where he’d been and what had been going on. I just find that hilarious. It never used to be that way, but with social media nowadays, and as long as this show keeps filming a bunch of public dates, it’s quite easy to follow along with what’s happening. I’m sure Emily’s family will be glued to the site once they leave Charlotte and head for…can’t say yet. Still need more confirmation. What I can say from what I’ve heard is one of these places they’ve already been to in a previous season, and one of the cities is in a country they’ve already been to as well.

-When Lindzi met Ben’s mom and sister, how come we never got to see what was in that box that she brought? Or did we? Sorry, I might’ve dozed off there for a few. Did she bring them a box of chocolates? All I remember from them hanging out together was Lindzi constantly dropping sh** at the dinner table. Ummmm, it’s not like you’re on a date with Leonardo DiCaprio. It’s freaking Ben Flajnik. He’s a goof, and his family already knows everything about you from reading the my site…ha ha. No need to be nervous around them. Well, maybe you can around his sister. After all, Ben did say that Julia “does not normally approve of the women I date.” No sh**? You mean, she didn’t like Britt? Did you never let her see Jennifer Love Hewitt? What about all the texts with Shawntel? She never got a piece of any of that action? That’s too bad. Can’t imagine why sis wouldn’t be a fan of who you date considering, well, you don’t date people very long it seems.

-When Courtney met the family, she once again admitted that she rubbed girls the wrong way and that the girls brought out a bad side in her. But Julia didn’t seem to mind. Even though the family had pre-conceived notions of Ben having a model in the final two, both gave her a chance, and apparently Courtney passed with flying colors. When Julia told him to not worry about what others think, you could kinda sense that’s exactly what he was looking to hear. Julia even admitted she judged a book by its cover before meeting Courtney and I guess was blown away at the end of her meeting to realize, uhhhh, maybe she should read that book again? Even when Ben was sitting with his family after Courtney left, he knew it was going be a difficult road ahead when he said, “There will be repercussions when this is out.” I’m curious, did he think it would be as early as Dec. 14th when the hatred for his pick would begin? Probably not. Gosh, imagine if I actually would’ve released it back in November when I first found out? That would’ve been BEFORE anyone ever even knew about the skinny dipping (since the promo hadn’t aired yet) and would’ve tacked on another month of him hearing sh** from people. Ummmm, sorry?

-For his last date with Lindzi they got to go skiing. Ummmm, didn’t he already do this with other girls earlier in San Francisco? Yes, I know Lindzi wasn’t on that date with them, but can we at least see something different. I can’t remember many of the last chance dates off the top of my head, but a horse carriage ride and skiing kinda seems to be at the bottom of the list in terms of excitement. Didn’t Jillian basically do that on a group date during her season? Well, considering I’m sure all of production knew Ben was picking Courtney, maybe they felt like they didn’t really need to go out of their way to have a lavish final date with the two of them. However, the best part of their date was at night. Lindzi seemed completely bombed by the time Ben showed up at her place. She was talking 1000 miles per hour, her eyes looked a little dazed, and she even forgot to put on enough concealer to cover up the runaway zit by her mouth. That couldn’t have been attractive up close. But easily the best line of the night was Lindzi FINALLY opening up to Ben, telling him she loved him, then him coming back with, “That’s great.” Wow. Look, I know he can’t say he loves her back (although Brad did tell Emily that on their date without ever saying it to Chantal despite her telling him numerous times she was in love with him), but Ben probably just should’ve said nothing. “That’s great?” Isn’t that what you say when your girlfriend tells you she got a promotion at work, or got a new job? A wordsmith Ben is not.

-If Lindzi’s date wasn’t bland and boring enough, seeing Courtney get a helicopter ride over the Matterhorn, the Swiss Alps, and into parts of Italy, I think that pretty much signified even more so it was Courtney. Although, Ben didn’t seem too impressed. “Flying over the Matterhorn, that’s one of the Top 10 coolest things I’ve done in my life.” Who is this guy, Richard Branson? Top 10? You’re telling me this guy has done nine things just as fun if not better than getting a helicopter ride over one of the worlds most famous mountains? I’m guessing no. Sorry for the show being so beneath you, Benjamin. He does realize that without this show, he’d probably be sexting Shawntel while at some dive bar in San Francisco with a bunch of 6’s and 7’s trying to get his number, right? Hell, I get excited when I get to ride the Matterhorn at Disneyland, and this guy is acting like he takes daily helicopter rides over world renown mountains. Mr. Humble I tell ya’.

-Back in the room to cap off the night, Courtney gives Ben a scrapbook. OMG! How original! We’ve never seen a scrapbook at the end of the show, except for, well, seems like every season. I mean, what else can you give them at that point? Pretty much a scrap book is the best anyone of the contestants can do at that point since it doesn’t cost a lot, they’re easy to make, and the show will provide you with the pictures. And that was a hell of a card Courtney wrote to him. Made me actually think she had a heart there for a second. Quit it, Courtney. You’re making me wipe away tears. Obviously if there’s a picture of Courtney and Ben at the top of the Mayan temple, then it wasn’t taken by either of them. So for those who asked me last night, “Where did Courtney get the pictures for the scrapbook,” my question back to you is, “Where do you think?” The show gives it to them. The next time we see something given to the lead at the end of the show by one of the final two people that ISN’T a scrapbook, or ISN’T something self-made that costs more than $2.00 will be the first. Just once I want to see someone in their last chance date say, “Here I got you a little something,” then whip out some gift cards to the Olive Garden. I’d take those over a scrapbook any day.

-Lets move on to the final rose ceremony day. I’ve always found it funny, especially on the “Bachelor,” where we have footage of each girl getting out of bed, walking to their hotel room window, and pondering what the day will bring itself all while being half naked. Lindzi was a little more clothed than Courtney, shocking I know, but was it just me or was Courtney overly excited to be woken up half naked to run to her window and open up the blinds? Man, it was almost like she sprinted there knowing she was gonna be picked. I remember checking the weather that day in Zermatt and seeing it was a high of 45 degrees. That was the high. I’m guessing in the morning when Lindzi woke up and stepped outside in her pj’s, it was probably in the 20’s. How come she didn’t have a raging case of THO? You’d think she could’ve been able to cut glass at that point with how cold it was and how little she had on. Whatever the case, they didn’t spend as much time focusing on these two getting ready as they have in past seasons. Usually we see them hair wet, out of the shower with the towel wrap thing going on, putting on make up, etc. I believe one scene we saw them in what they woke up in, and the next scene they were zipping up their dress. Booooooooooooooooo.

-At the final rose ceremony, regardless of who it is, it’s always tough watching the final one get dumped. You feel bad for them. And I’ve always said it, I don’t envy the position the lead is in. Obviously Ben didn’t wake up that morning and say, “Yep, I’ll go with Courtney.” He obviously knew for a while, so, technically you are leading the other girl on. But it’s not your fault, it’s the show’s. Indirectly it’s your fault because you agreed to do the show in the first place, but, for people who yell and scream, “How can he do that to Lindzi…how can he tell her all those things then dump her?” Well, those people just don’t seem to grasp how TV works and are living in a fantasy world, not reality. Bottom line is you’re gonna see it every season no matter who it is. Ben gave Lindzi a wonderful breakup: “I want you to know that I’ve fallen in love with you…BUT…I need those moments to last a lifetime and I’ve found that with someone else. I’m in love with someone else.” He probably should’ve just left it at, “I’ve fallen in love with someone else.” Why tell her you’ve fallen in love with her as well? Other than to get the audience thinking you’re gonna pick her only to throw the “but” in there. Cruel. But honestly, did Lindzi really seem all that broken up by it? Didn’t think so. We’ve seen much worse crying after getting dumped at the end than that. Hell, Jenna got dumped in Week 2 and was an emotional mess. Lindzi gets all the way to the end and barely shed a tear. I’m guessing she’s fine. If you saw her on Kimmel last night or GMA this morning, you just know this isn’t the last we’ll see of this chick. I have a feeling we will no doubt see her on “Bachelor Pad.” When she says stuff like, “I’d love to be the next Bachelorette,” you know she’s enjoying the limelight.

-When Courtney arrived, what was the first thing I noticed? Well, besides Ben’s hair looking horrible. Courtney is taller than him with heels on. That’s gotta be a bit awkward, no? So he goes on about their journey, he proposes, she takes off her prom gloves, he slips the ring on, and then they peck away at each other like woodpeckers making out. I’ve never seen and heard so many loud pecking kisses at an engagement in my life. Did they ever use any tongue? Was it so cold that they thought maybe their tongues would stick together like in “A Christmas Story?” It’s the first accepted engagement for the both of them and we can’t make out even for a little bit? That was…ummmm…awkward. I mean, maybe I’m just so used to the final couple gushing over each other, and jumping into pools, or crying uncontrollably, or whatever, but these two seemed like they were at the end of a first date that went well, and then they had to tell a bunch of cameras about it. Very weird. It’s like they’re buddies.

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  1. Nobody

    March 13, 2012 at 10:59 AM

    Thanks for not using up 5 pages to pat youself on the back again. Yes, we’ve been riding your ass pretty hard, and were expecting more of the same today. But you only mentioned you were right once or twice and that was it.

    Next thing to work on is trying to not be such an ass to people.

  2. AllyB

    March 13, 2012 at 11:00 AM

    Thank you for all the updates, I really enjoy your site! Screw everyone with negativity, they can go somewhere else! I almost shed a tear about your story of Maddie. I love how she found you and so happy she has a great life! Enjoy NYC! Can’t wait for the next round with Emily!

  3. aleein23

    March 13, 2012 at 11:01 AM

    Yours and Maddie’s love story is better than Ben and Courtney’s!

  4. quesara

    March 13, 2012 at 11:11 AM

    I did tear up at your story about seeing Maddie for the first time! Nice to see you have a softer side!
    Great job, Steve, on another successful (if mind-numbing season). I will continue to be a loyal reader, no matter what all the haters say.
    When all is said and done, I think Ben and Courtney are perfect for each other and I hope they will be happy together for as long as it lasts. Life is too short to wish them ill. They seem to have a better chance at lasting than if he had picked any of the others.

  5. cindy01

    March 13, 2012 at 11:12 AM

    Thank goodness for Reality Steve…this site was what got me thru this season.
    I do hope Ben and Courtney the best though, they deserve happiness just like anyone else.

  6. divrdwn41

    March 13, 2012 at 11:15 AM

    I have thought from all you continue to say about yourself you are smarter than this. But your comments about Ben’s mother and sister knowing who he had chosen when talking with him in Switzerland have a flaw. I know you feel everyone reads your blogs, including the two of them. However, if this was all filmed prior to the November filming date, how could they have known about your blog which didnt appear till later??

    Please clear this up for me since I am not as intellligent as you.

  7. Dianne

    March 13, 2012 at 11:23 AM

    Nobody, go away please. Do us all a favour and don’t come back. Your negative post is not welcome here.

  8. freckledsmile99

    March 13, 2012 at 11:28 AM

    Happy anniversary to you and Maddie! Thanks for a great season!

  9. mja

    March 13, 2012 at 11:47 AM

    About Ben’s mother and sister in Switzerland, and what they knew. What I’ve been wondering, is how did they know that Courtney did not get along with the other women in the house? When Ben’s sister asked Lindzi her opinion of Courtney, she indicated that she knew that Courtney was not popular with the others. I was baffled as to how she would have known that in mid-November when this was filmed.

  10. sksksk

    March 13, 2012 at 11:53 AM

    Did any of you see how crazy Ashley was acting during their interview? She was acting like a mouse on crack!

  11. wisewords

    March 13, 2012 at 11:58 AM

    Regarding Lindzi appearing on Live with Kelly, I loved how Kelly kept referring to Lindzi as “the luckiest girl in the world!” 🙂

  12. wisewords

    March 13, 2012 at 12:02 PM

    @sksksk sorry but I disagree… bubbly and fun, yes, but crazy, no….

  13. kathyhers

    March 13, 2012 at 12:04 PM

    I just love your website! You are so funny and you say things that a lot of people would love to say but wouldn’t have the nerve to! Thanks for all the laughs and I really look forward to reading about Emily’s “journey”….Question… you have any idea why Linzi wasn’t included in after the final rose?

  14. Nobody

    March 13, 2012 at 12:10 PM

    @ Dianne – strange, but I don’t recall seeing your nomination as queen of the board. Guess that means you have no say on who can post here and who can’t.

  15. bigfatwoman

    March 13, 2012 at 12:11 PM

    I love Ellen and although I don’t watch her show regularly, I think of her as a smart, funny, grounded woman….so I would support her views on Courtney and don’t consider myself a “lemming” as you say.

    I never saw in any tabloid, internet report, etc. that there was ever any question that Ben was picking Courtney. Naysayers? Never saw or read them. Perhaps I missed something.

    I have to say this about Courtney….she is without a doubt a woman without true feelings or depth….but she looked beautiful last night on the ATFR show.

    Good luck to Ben. His tears were genuine last night and he is headed for hurt. It’s inevitable.

  16. carol1975

    March 13, 2012 at 12:13 PM

    Quoting Steve”
    “Of course whoever agrees to go on this show opens themselves up to whatever criticism they get because that’s what you’re signing up for”
    Same rule applies to writing a blog and putting it out there for people to read.

  17. bigfatwoman

    March 13, 2012 at 12:14 PM


    Ashley is like a “mouse on crack” and I love her. She’s a happy person and JP is a great catch.

  18. loribums

    March 13, 2012 at 12:38 PM

    HOW DO WE LET THE Bachelorette franchise know that many of us would like Emily O’Brien as the next-next bachelorette?

  19. punka

    March 13, 2012 at 12:43 PM

    I think Steve needs a refresher on how The Bachelor works.

    First they film the show. Per Steve, this season filming ended prior to Thanksgiving 2011.
    Then, they air the show. This started in January 2012.

    So, with those simple facts out of the way, how in the hell could have Ben’s mom and sister known he had already picked Courtney, and been viewing up on dates??? Ya know, the dates not shown on TV until MONTHS after their trip to Swtizerland? Oops?


    As for Ben & the model, good luck to them. The odds are against them.

  20. lawestie

    March 13, 2012 at 12:46 PM

    @bigfatwoman, I totally agree with you – Courtney’s crazy, but she looked stunning last night. I was studying her eye makeup so I could attempt to re-create it on myself! =)

    Steve, congratulations on another completed season and Happy 4th Anniversary to you and Maddie! Loved your adoption story – so sweet!! You’re both lucky to have each other!

  21. noelle90

    March 13, 2012 at 1:04 PM

    Great blog Steve. Question: In one of Courtney’s interviews where she tears up, there was that same wrought-iron type background used previously. She was not wearing earrings as she was on her date, though she was wearing the same clothes. What is your opinion about the show taping interviews after filming has concluded? That really annoys me. It seems so fake.

  22. liz123

    March 13, 2012 at 1:45 PM

    bigfatwoman, I agree that there is confusion as to who all these naysayers are. I haven’t seen anyone who has doubted or questioned Steve on the fact that Ben was going to choose Courtney. I wonder if some of the commenters here (& Steve himself) think that the people commenting on his self congratulations & long winded writing were questioning his credibility also. I, for one, never doubted he was right & haven’t seen anyone else who did either. Maybe all these naysayers were emailing him privately? Or maybe they don’t exist.

  23. lolabelle01

    March 13, 2012 at 1:51 PM

    Don’t pat yourself on he back so hard…you’ll give yourself whiplash.

  24. rubylu

    March 13, 2012 at 2:19 PM

    All I’ve been wanting to say since I watched ATFR last night was how awful of an actress Courtney is. You could visually see her trying SO hard to create tears. Even when Ben was crying, you could see her practically tell herself, “Ben’s crying for real, so I have to try and cry with him, too!” I don’t believe she is genuine for one second.

    I also got really pissed off when it turned into the “Blame Ben” show. The hatred that developed amongst fans was for Courtney, not Ben. People were pissed that Ben was falling for Courtney’s games and her treatment towards the other women. If Ben pulled away from Courtney because he was seeing her true colors and the repercussions of her actions, that’s not for him to apologize for! He doesn’t owe Courtney a single thing! She felt abandoned? What about Ben feeling duped?

  25. germonderpop

    March 13, 2012 at 2:22 PM

    Jef with one F is from my hometown! And went to my college! I really hope he’s the crazy one this season. It seems like every season there’s a crazy person from Utah. Michelle Money, Bentley, and then Monica the tampon girl.

  26. houdiniman

    March 13, 2012 at 2:28 PM

    I’d love to see you as The Bachelor. Think they’d buy it? Would you do it?

  27. Elliemay

    March 13, 2012 at 3:32 PM

    Thanks for the recap, Steve. Hope you enjoy your vacation time.. I bet you are laughing all the way to the bank as you should!

    I couldn’t even watch the Lindzi/Ben parts without cringing. But I don’t blame Ben, in that regard, if someone is into someone than it’s really hard to pretend to be into others and that is where the show lets viewers down — trying to make everyone believe they are in love with several people. It’s just not reality.

    I saw another softer side of Ben last night. He is really going to get hurt. As someone wrote, Courtney is trying to fake tears — she is heartless. She thinks if she wipes at her eyes, tears will come. It’s all a big show and she’s still the star.

    The worst part of the night was the proposal. When Ben asked Courtney and put the ring on her finger, that is all she was excited about, not being with Ben but having this rock that, as she put it, “was heavy on her finger.” She kept admiring it every time they hugged. In fact, it seemed like the only reason she kept hugging him was to admire her rock. She seems very covetous like she was during the whole show. It’s all about winning for her.

  28. lisa e

    March 13, 2012 at 5:32 PM

    Lindzi was just that not into Scruffy, and why should she be? When she & others saw his attention focused on Courtney entirely? I wondered the entire season WHY they had NO “ITM’s” of Lindz trashing the other girls? No dirt, not even her on the Wicked Witch. How can that be? ALL on the editing floor?
    No, Lindz had a CAMPAIGN the entire time to be The Bachelorette! She had her strategy, just like the rest.

    Of course, they didn’t interview her on the Hot Seat; she was going to be honest and they knew it… no heartbreak, no sad face, no.. “When did you know it wasn’t me?”
    The producers only want the F2 to come on to show more adoration for the Star.. it buttresses the fairytale of “one wins, one loses” in the end.
    Hopefully, it’s the last we see of Lindz, but she likely also made a Faustian deal w producers so as to appear on BP3!
    FYI – the PTB definitely have a reason for opening up BP3 to newbies – and it’s either to start promos earlier – or to toss in the ringers they have already picked out. Duh.
    This explains Courtney’s SEDUCTION technique best: How A Borderline Personality Disorder Love Relationship Develops:
    Poor Ben. Julia Flajnik, if you are reading this, get him help ASAP… the last 4 months were nothing compared to the next 4 months of Hell.

  29. Cndgirl

    March 13, 2012 at 6:12 PM

    Steve never said that Bens Mom and Sister knew who the final one was, he said they would have read his blog and known some of the stuff – like some of the locations they went to, some of the rose ceremony results.

    As to how they knew to ask about Courtney not getting along with the girls, the producers probably fed them that info, I wouldn’t be surprised about that at all.

  30. gablaughin

    March 13, 2012 at 9:37 PM

    Oh man! RS – I truly appreciate your inside scoop and am amazed by how you’re so into yourself. Thanks for the entertainment, the spoilers and the rest! Keep up the good work!

  31. My3girls

    March 13, 2012 at 11:00 PM

    Was Chantal O’brien at the ATFR show for her season? I feel like there was something didn’t participate in but can’t remember the details.

    Did anyone notice that when Ben told Linzi that he’s in love with someone else, she said “If it doesn’t work out, call me.”? Awkward ending to an awkward relationship.

  32. crossedmymind

    March 13, 2012 at 11:49 PM

    Ben is obviously very much in love with Courtney. I admire his easy going manner, his openness, and his willingness to give the benefit of a doubt to others. He’s a trusting, kind person with a big heart. I was sorry to hear how hard it’s been on Ben – his emotion was real and showed he has courage.

    I was disturbed by the After The Rose program, not to mention all the previous episodes.

    I recognized in Courtney a pattern of behavior that; unfortunately, I know all too well.

    Empathetic people tend to give the benefit of a doubt when someone they care deeply about communicates that they are sorry for words or actions that has hurt them. Often these actions can be the result of fear or a lack of, self or other, awareness.

    I don’t think Courtney lacks self or other awareness, on the contrary. It was evident that she is a competitive person and they are often experts at sizing up their opponents strengths/weaknesses and formulating a strategy with those in mind.

    Courtney does not like NOT being the center of attention; be it positive or negative.

    It’s impossible for anyone to judge someone else’s heart or intentions, all we can “see” is behavior patterns and they speak volumes.

    A pattern of behavior I witnessed with Courtney is a tendency to lie about her actions and then when questioned or confronted, she deflects the blame for her lies and actions onto a vulnerability in herself or onto someone else; including the person she’s just lied too or hurt.

    Ben had no reason to apologize to her for breaking it off with her. She lied to him over and over again as well as his Mother and Sister and blamed others for her actions. Even when she attempted to apologize both times she was in the hot seat (before the finally and the AFTR) she used tentative terms like “Maybe I could have”. She is skilled in turning things around and making them about her.

    Then there is the issue of her showing absolutely no emotion. She pretends to cry, but there are no tears or welling, just a supposedly choking up while her hand is covering her mouth.

    Although she is very attractive, her face lacks any emotion and remains dead pan the majority of the time. I started to wonder, her being a model, if she’d had botox around the mouth and eyes to maintain that type of controlled look – I’m not trying to be cruel, I seriously wondered about that.

    I could go on and cite many specific behaviors and forms of manipulation, but I don’t think it necessary – I’m sure others have pointed these out already.

    If she is the type of person who is competitive, lacks empathy for others, yet has lots for herself and likes to play cat and mouse with people, Ben needs to watch out for a pattern of catching her lying or doing/saying something hurtful and then her denying it and/or making excuses, blaming others, and then making others feel bad about confronting her or questioning her behavior, motives and/or intentions. If Ben allow this, he will begin to no longer trust his own judgement or even what he knows he heard or seen, partly because he won’t want to believe it’s true and/or it simply takes to much energy out of him.

    Further, if the above goes on for an extended period, it will lead to an addiction relationship and not a healthy relationship. Her taking the power, and Ben trying to maintain some power and still keep her. This can be occur swiftly if both of them are competitive.

    It looks something like this. She will be very well behaved, charming, seductive and loving for a few to several months in between, being careful not to get caught in any lies or being hurtful towards Ben, his family or his friends. Then she will become bored or not able to keep it up and she’ll hurt him again.

    If she thinks Ben is about to leave, she’ll probably lay on the guilt, seduction and charm to see if she can still win while ensure she still has the bulk of the power in the relationship.

    Ben may find himself being the one who seems to be always doing the apologizing in the relationship (a red manipulation flag). She may threaten to leave before Ben gets a chance to leave- she’ll see it coming (it may even be that she planned such a power move) and If necessary, she may even play Ben against his mom and sister or visa verse; depending on whether or not she thinks Ben is really serious, this time, about ending it.

    Other manipulative tactics to win may include:discovering she’s pregnant and/or perhaps attempt to, innocently of course, make Ben jealous and feel threatened by another male, perhaps a friend of Ben’s or a friend of a family member.

    Ben needs to be careful, trust his instincts and that still small, yet nagging voice.

    I hope I am wrong or just projecting what I experienced and that Ben ends up being very happy with Courtney – we all want and need love.

    They should do couples counseling – definitely before getting married if that’s what they end up planning. If she makes excuses not to go or wants to see a male counselor only – those are flags. Ben needs to keep his eyes wide open, his trust was betrayed and she needs to prove she’s worthy of it again.

    Did anyone else notice that Courtney touched her hair every 5 – 8 seconds? Yes, I did end up counting. The only exception was when she was saying unkind things to others, so it wasn’t a habit or a tic necessarily.

  33. joancallamezzo

    March 14, 2012 at 12:19 AM

    Am I the only one that finds it hilarious that tons of people on here have diagnosed Courtney with mental disorders without ever having met her and seeing MAYBE 10 hours of highly edited footage of her on TV. Do you guys not understand the point that Steve hammers on EVERY week in his columns. The show is edited; it’s fake. You don’t get to see the girls’ true personalities from the show.

    I think it’s time for eveyone to stop searching mental health sites so they can diagnose someone they don’t know while holding no medical degrees. It’s not a good look. Makes you seem judgemental, petty, catty, and pressed.

  34. slovakia

    March 14, 2012 at 6:03 AM

    Like your website. That was really nice of you to adopt Maddie!!

  35. Nobody

    March 14, 2012 at 6:18 AM

    @crossedmymind –

    The way Courtney keeps touching her hair is most likely a sign when she is lying about something. She didn’t seem to do it as much during the episodes. It was only when she was being put on the spot. Nervous reaction maybe? Its possible, but I would guess it means she is lying.

  36. mja

    March 14, 2012 at 6:26 AM

    Cndgirl wrote:
    “As to how they [Ben’s mother and sister] knew to ask about Courtney not getting along with the girls, the producers probably fed them that info, I wouldn’t be surprised about that at all.”

    I wouldn’t be surprised, either. And now that I think about it, that seems just about the only way they could have known.

    To My3girls — Yes, Chantal was on the ATFR show on Brad’s season. I thought I remembered that she was, but went back to look at Steve’s recap to make sure. Maybe it’s just the fact that she was already involved with somebody else by that time that you’re remembering? So she hasn’t been involved with any post-Bachelor events and activities.

  37. tammyindiana

    March 14, 2012 at 8:43 AM

    Steve Thank you for writing this season final with the same wit that helped bring people back to your site time and again. You are much funnier when writing about runaway zits and THO’s than when tooting your own horn. I watched the final with my poor naive Mother. I told her that the ending and alleged “breakup” was a put on. If the safehouse meetings are handled through ABC, then who is to say the Bachelor franchise didn’t advise Ben to take a couple of weeks to himself to “clear his head”. Meanwhile feeding Courtney with doubt that her actions may have cost her the relationship which is why she came back to the WTA. I said that I did NOT believe for ONE minute these two were ever broke up. It was an effort to make all of this nonsense more digestable. By the end, even my Mother had softened to Courtney. It is all RIDICULOUS. As a Graduate Degree Nursing student, this is my frivolous TV, and I like to banter about the lunacy of it at work. Trust me the hospitals aren’t much different or better. @Lisa e….Borderline personality disorder ……..Courtney’s behaviors could be used in educational videos for this disorder. Clearly you have a BP in your life to have recognized this (I do too). EXCELLENT CALL! @ joancallamezzo IF you have ever experienced a Borderline in your daily life, you would recognize that not even The Bachelor franchise could produce or edit good enough to create the characteristics of this SERIOUS personality disorder. Courtney’s behaviors are the epitome of a Borderline. EVERY woman in that house except for Casey (who was a Courtney puppet) wasn’t making up stories.
    It makes ZERO difference in my world, but Lisa E nailed it and I truly doubt she scoured the internet to do so.
    Linzi handled the situation well, and said it best on GMA “Ben has bigger problems to worry about.”
    Thanks again Steve! Happy Anniversary to you and Maddie! Safe travels……..

  38. trod

    March 14, 2012 at 9:10 AM

    When the camera first scanned the audience during ATFR I thought you had snuck in… there was a she-man looking woman with blonde curly hair that looked like a man in disguise. I thought for sure Reality Steve was in the house!!! Did anyone else see it? haha

  39. qsoundrich

    March 14, 2012 at 9:16 AM

    I can only watch this show in bits and pieces, so I didn’t see all of the supposedly horrible things Courtney was doing to the other women. Yes she was catty, but in reality I think she thinks that sort of behavior is funny. I’m not totally against her in that regard. Courtney is clearly an introvert, so people aren’t used to seeing people like that on reality TV shows like this. Contrast her with what we saw of Lindzi on Jimmy Kimmell, who’s looking to step into the spotlight–I actually think she had to fake her relationship with Ben more than the other way around.

    I’ve known girls like Courtney–intelligent, hard to read, and have a really difficult time connecting with anyone on any level. I don’t see her ending up with Ben. Hopefully Ellen can restore her image, but she’s not going to be a likeable person to 90% of America because she’s just..different.

  40. lisa e

    March 14, 2012 at 9:27 AM

    tammyindiana – Just have to quickly respond to your succinct and sharp post:
    YES, Courtney could be used as an educational/instructional video for BPD.
    YES, true that no amount of producer edit could change her inherent patterns. Clearly, they too, were fascinated, but I wager there is a LOT they left on the edit floor.
    YOU ARE RIGHT–I did not have to scour the internet, that article is one of many that I disseminate when I see men that I care about dissolve into unrecognizable floods of tears and confused twisted pain. No one manipulates like a BPD woman. Ben does not deserve that. When I saw the clip of his anguished twisted crying face on the ATFR, I thought one more post was overdue.
    UNTIL we share information and dialogue on this rather common illness (2% of the population!), there will never be enough help for the afflicted, support for the innocent victims of the raging BPD, or release of any stigmas. I certainly feel no sense of slander towards Courtney nor any others with this illness. *They did not choose to have a Personality Disorder.* They do need our help and understanding.
    I wonder if those who jump on the posters who have deftly pointed out BPD from the earliest days have any empathy at all for what Ben – and Courtney – are dealing with..? In public, no less! We need share info and remove the shame.
    Many of us hope to see sympathy for “Mental Illness” be in the same realm of understanding as “Alcoholism” has enjoyed in the last generation…

  41. Dawn

    March 14, 2012 at 9:45 AM

    Thanks Steve for making yet another Bachelor season fun!! I am so glad I found your site and am no longer one of the crazy people who thinks reality tv is real. Looking forward to next season…well, maybe just your comments.
    Congratulation on your 4 year anniversary with Maddie. Your story is very beautiful.

  42. Athena

    March 14, 2012 at 9:49 AM

    Ben and Courtney have given us their pound of flesh, and more. So, for goodness sake let’s give them some peace and lack of judgment to figure out what’s next for each of them and as a couple.

  43. addicted2rs

    March 14, 2012 at 11:13 AM

    What is THO?

  44. maxi

    March 14, 2012 at 12:48 PM

    Funny you can’t admit you were wrong and they indeed were broken up!! I remember when you tweeted to come to your live event to hear the official status of Courtney and ben, and you ended up being SO vague saying they are together, but having issues. Well, duh, any idiot could say that and hope it was true…but nope! Wrong. You lied to get viewers! WHY would they ever pretend to be broken up??? That makes no sense. It would make the show look like even more of a joke.

  45. katehudson

    March 14, 2012 at 3:34 PM

    Anyone know the answer to this? If they weren’t broken up, why didn’t she still have the ring on?

  46. LM111

    March 14, 2012 at 9:17 PM

    I think you guys are missing the point.

    Instead of arguing over whether or not Steve “deserves” your donation, you should just ask yourself how you’d feel if the site went down. I, personally, would be bummed if the recaps went away. They make the show fun. So, I’ll donate for that reason alone.

    Yes, Steve can be arrogant at times, but I’m not dating the dude so it doesn’t bother me. Lighten up, people. Donate if you want to continue reading the site. Don’t donate if you want to see it go away. It’s that simple.

  47. tammyindiana

    March 14, 2012 at 10:06 PM

    @Lisa e…Thanking YOU for providing anyone who was paying attention with an opportunity to widen their awareness to the attention mental disorders are deserving of. If more people were aware the less crazy the world may actually seem. @ addicted2years THO = titty hard on or erect nipples common when cold! @ Kate Hudson I don’t know with certainty but I don’t believe BACHELOR franchise allows the ring to be worn during the period of time the show is airing. After all, NO ONE is supposed to know of the engagement until the finale. I’m sure a whopping diamond like that is kept securely in ABC’S hands until the ATFR taping where it would be slipped back into place uneventfully and out of the view of cameras. In this case, making a public gesture of Chris pulling it from his pocket and confronting Ben with “what do you want to do with this?” Again, made the “break up” and a “reconciliation” more digestable for America.

  48. ashley2445

    March 15, 2012 at 9:18 PM

    I saw Ben out in San Francisco last weekend, with a couple guys and a girl. He had his arm around the girl’s waist while standing around on the sidewalk in front of a restaurant. It most definitely was not Courtney…

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