Reality Steve

The Bachelorette 8 - Emily

The Bachelorette Recap Including the “Burning Love” Videos & The Lawsuit is Over

-The group date is a boat race between two 4-man teams, the Red team being Charlie, Sean, Chris, and Travis and the Yellow Team being Jef, Arie, Ryan, and Kalon. It’s pretty much made known at the beginning that none of these guys have ever been on a boat before, let alone race one. Well, except for Kalon who attends a bunch of boat parties dressed like a sailor and gets served caviar hors d’oeuvres every other weekend. Can someone explain something to me real quick about this boat race competition they had: Ummmm, what hell happened? I’d really like to talk more about the race bu I was clueless to what was going on. Half the time, the guys weren’t even doing any work on the boat, and every time one team was ahead, it seemed like that’s when they stopped working. And at one point, the Red teams boat and the Yellow teams boat were perpendicular to each other. What the hell was going on? And if Jef, who is probably 110 pounds soaking wet, was given the main job on the Yellow teams boat, and they WON, ummmmm, how hard could it have been? So many questions, so little answers. That was just a bizarre race to say the least. I had no idea what the hell was happening, who was ever ahead, how they were ever ahead, what direction they were headed in, where the finish point was, and how either team ever got a lead. Other than that, the race made perfect sense.

-The best part of the race? When it was over and the red team is driving back home all dejected, kinda like the losing team in Puerto Rico last season during Ben’s baseball group date. Well this season, Charlie played the role of Jennifer and cried like a little sissy. Really? He was crying over losing a boat racing date? I don’t know about you Charlie, but basically that loss probably did you a favor. You were going home regardless of if you won or not. Why? Because we haven’t seen you speak in three episodes, that’s why. Oh wait, you did tell us on the Muppets date you didn’t like big crowds. And that if someone bashed your face with a baseball bat repeatedly, after the all the skin and bones were ripped off, you’d look like this:

So you’re a T-850, right? Or are you one of the other models that Skynet made? I need to know. Last time I checked, Terminators don’t have feelings. Quit crying.

-At the after party, that’s where the ridiculousness started. Ryan figured he’d start everything off with a nice little toast. “To a fun day of racing, and a beautiful trophy, possibly, wife…” Good one. I’m sure you definitely scored points with that line. I don’t know who Ryan pissed off in production to get the edit he did this episode, but make no mistake, either none of these guys were interesting enough this season and they had to find someone to give a bad edit too, or Ryan really is that dumb with some of the stuff that came out of his mouth. I think Ryan got duped by production to start talking about things not related to Emily, and they just ran with it. But hey, you signed up for this, so we can make fun of it you egotistical neanderthal. Since Arie already doesn’t like Ryan, and basically calls him, well, an egotistical neanderthal in his ITM, he whisks Emily away first to have some tongue time…errrrr…private time with her. He tells her he’s been getting a bit of a hard time in the house for making out with her in the hallway after vampire boy left last week, but also tells us, “I’m not threatened by anyone in the house.” And why would he be? When his friend, ex-girlfriend, and Emily’s main producer Cassie Lambert casts him on the show, of course he wouldn’t think he feels threatened by anyone. It’s a given he was gonna last long. What a coincidence. We have now had four episodes air and numerous interviews done, and not one media outlet has asked anyone associated with this show how a producer’s ex-boyfriend got cast on the show and made it to at least the final three. Let me know when anyone has the balls to ask it. Thanks.

-Jef’s turn to try and woo Emily and he’s a bit concerned that he hasn’t had a 1-on-1 date yet. “I’ve only been on group dates. I want it to matter to her.” I have a question: Why does Jef always seem like he’s whispering? Is he allowed to talk louder than he does? Does he know he has a microphone on him at all times? This is one cool cat. Maybe not in the same stratosphere as someone like Ryan who is oh-so-clever with his choice of words and who thinks much too highly of himself and the game he’s running but, uhhhhhh, you judge for yourself. Jef: “When I think about you, I like you.” Hmmmm, straight and to the point. If Ryan were to have said that to Emily, it probably would’ve sounded something more like, “We both like each other. I know you like me. I can see the way you look at me and I just know you and I could make cute babies.” Jef takes the more subtle approach and this makes Emily giddy. She wanted him to kiss her on the beach, but instead all she got was fingered. He had a boo-boo on his finger from the boat race and he thought making her kiss an open wound on it would be the best way for her to get sick heading to London. So I guess we can all blame Jef for Emily losing her voice next week. Thanks bud.

-It’s time for Ryan the womanizer to show his true colors to Emily. He sits her down and immediately begins having diarrhea of the mouth. Here are some of the gems to come flying out of his trap in a matter of seconds:

“My coaches used to tell me the enemy of great is good.”
“I have a mature approach to relationships. I’m not here to impress you, but to make an impression on you.”
“God designed you to be a beautiful woman, so be a beautiful woman.”

Honestly, I had no idea what Ryan was getting at during this talk other than completely turning Emily off. Then when discussing how it kinda bothered him she was making out with Arie in the hallway last week, he said this:

“You’ve been given an amazing opportunity…I’m praying not only for myself, but for you…you can use this opportunity to impact tons and tons of people.”

Translation: Since you didn’t make out with me, and you did with Arie, I’m going to lay a guilt trip on you the size of my ego. I hope you enjoy it. Ryan is a beauty. And since he took a lot of heat in the Twitter world last night, I wanted to check and see what his response was, if any. Would he go the way of Blake during “Bachelor Pad” last season and try and defend his edit, all while trashing people who didn’t like him, or take a different approach. Needless to say, Ryan took the, uhhhh, “Ryan” approach and spouted off pretty much exactly what you’d expect him to. Here were three of his tweets,


“Thank u friend and foe. Friend for knowing who I really am & Foe 4 makin me more aware of my desire to serve the Lord not man. Bless u both!”
“Football taught me this:ppl lv u one moment and hate you the next. But ur the only one there pouring sweat in the offseason! pure intentions.”
“b4 i go to bed:”let ur yes b yes & no b no” confident in Christ not arrogant! genuine & true and very non manipulative. sleep well as i will.”

Basically a shot at everyone who’s taking shots at him for what they saw last night. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a 1,000 times. The minute you sign up to go on this silly show, you are fair game to what anyone wants to say or think about you. And trying to defend yourself on Twitter is a losing cause. You know what “villain” in the history of this show handled their edit the best? Bentley. Why? Because the guy hasn’t said a word publicly since his season aired. Never took to Twitter, never talked to the media, never blamed his edit. Basically just realized, “I got made to look like an ass, so be it. I’m moving on.” In a way, I respect it, because every other person that tries to defend themselves publicly seems to put their foot in their mouth and make things even worse. Does Ryan just keep a book of these sayings by his bedside and just whip them out for the hell of it? Does he think these make him sound intelligent or grounded, because actually, they’re making him seem the opposite. Socrates he is not. He should just stop talking for a while.

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  1. cinderelle

    June 6, 2012 at 1:34 AM

    I am watching so called reality show like zoo, and enjoy it more with knowing the probable ending. Kind of reminds me of childhood. I was reading Agatha Christie´s Ten little niggers in my treehouse and couldn´t help but look at the last few pages because first a) I was dying to know b) I could analyze the drama and observe the most important character during reading.

    As we all know, the final three are Arie, Sean and Jef. Jef looks like cute innocent kid, seems truly genuine, whatever that means with person who agrees to find love in front of TV. But Emily looks like his older mature sister and I can´t see them together for more than a lovely playful weekend. She said she wants someone else to be in charge, to be the boss, well, Emmie, Jef is great guy but definitely not a leader.

    Sean would be the safe, rational and pleasant choice, he seems like family type, gentleman and good-dad and husband material. Charming, loyal and maybe little bit boring.

    But here comes Arie and as we all know, some like it hot. And this guy, despite questionable motives and wild past, has the looks, the disarming charm and the wit. Apparently good kisser, which helps too. Loads of passion, tons of romance but I cannot see him settling down. But his editing so far is picture perfect, so maybe he is the final choice, after all, women tend to pick the same types of men. Or racerboys.

    I´m also pleasantly suprised by Emily´s behavior so far, especially being quite honest. From Brad season, I remember her like a plain sweetie lacking any personality with tragic past and fake boobs, but now she is very interesting lead.

    I would also love to get some new info about Bachelor Pad Cast. Summer is coming and some guilty pleasure will be needed.-)

  2. healersdaughter

    June 6, 2012 at 1:40 AM

    Unfortunately, I grew up around guys like Ryan, who mix their definition of masculinity with Christianity and sexism, and are far more interested in themselves than the people around them.

    More importantly: her body language shows that she feels threatened by him and insecure, not valued. Does he not see how weird that is?

    Despite Steve’s beliefs about him, Arie seems much more genuine about him. And dude, lay off the man. Sure, he knew his past would be dug up if he went on the show, but crowing about a man’s personal conquests after a breakup is NOT classy. Stop digging for dirt where there isn’t any, and find out if there are any REAL stories (i.e. guys being dishonest NOW about what they are CURRENTLY doing, or did while on the show).

  3. healersdaughter

    June 6, 2012 at 1:41 AM

    * sorry, added a random “about him” after “genuine.” Unneeded.

  4. mich802

    June 6, 2012 at 5:26 AM

    I just want to know who she ends up with. Happy it won’t be Chris or Ryan.

  5. readformindlessentertainmentandnothingelse

    June 6, 2012 at 6:29 AM

    @aatxcutie, thanks for that info! Wonder if said contestant was Holly, you know there was that Twitter thing a while back where someone asked why RS didn’t like her and she said because she wouldn’t give him info,…wonder if she’s the one that let the cat out of the bag about his methods.

  6. Dianne

    June 6, 2012 at 7:35 AM

    @readfor – that wouldn’t surprise me one bit. I can just see Holly linking up with Jesse C (who Steve also detests), and blowing the whistle on him to ABC.

  7. liz123

    June 6, 2012 at 7:45 AM

    @scavanau, who cares about the spoilers? I’d say the large majority of people who read this blog read it for the spoilers & only the spoilers. A lot of you continue to ask why the “whiners” keep coming back if we don’t love RS’s recaps- well, the spoilers are your answer. It doesn’t seem like it’s that difficult a concept to me. Please, post in this comment section if you don’t care one bit about getting spoilers. I’d love to see how many of you there are. I’m willing to bet there aren’t too many.

    @Maxi, you’re totally entitled to your opinion on Doug & I respect that. I was just stating my own. I know that he is a favorite of a lot of people, so you’re not alone in your thinking. I just don’t personally see it… But then again if we all had the same taste in men there’d be a lot of single people in the world! 😀

  8. cammie99

    June 6, 2012 at 8:33 AM

    readformindless… said:

    @aatxcutie, thanks for that info! Wonder if said contestant was Holly, you know there was that Twitter thing a while back where someone asked why RS didn’t like her and she said because she wouldn’t give him info,…wonder if she’s the one that let the cat out of the bag about his methods.

    I concur! Great observation!

  9. Cndgirl

    June 6, 2012 at 9:07 AM

    Umm @cinderelle I’m pretty sure that’s not the name of Agatha Christies book, and I sincerely hope some weird spellcheck accidentally put that in and you didn’t mean to write that….!!!!!!

  10. addicted2rs

    June 6, 2012 at 9:08 AM

    Question, what is Bachelor Augusta?

    Observation: Brad said he nearly went broke buying Emily expensive gifts – jewelry, shoes etc… so she wants a man who can afford to buy her gifts and treat her like a princess. Who wouldn’t want that? ABC cast her a bunch of guys that do not fit that bill, but Arie does.

  11. liz123

    June 6, 2012 at 9:35 AM

    HaHaHa, @Cndgirl, I noticed that too, but cinderelle’s post was so weird with random words stuck in, words missing, & partial sentences that I’m praying she’s either on a smartphone & doesn’t proofread or she’s on drugs. Are there any other explanations for a post so weird?! But then again what phone changes “indians” (which is what she must have meant) to THAT word?!?! Scary post, honestly.

  12. qqqq

    June 6, 2012 at 10:02 AM

    Scary? That is in fact the original title of the book, which even 10 seconds of research would show you if you didn’t know, before insulting someone and saying they are on drugs!

  13. JovisMom

    June 6, 2012 at 10:10 AM

    @ qqqq – Ha! Learn something new everyday! Thanks for the link. I thought cinderelle grammer was a little off and she might have been from a different country.

  14. liz123

    June 6, 2012 at 10:54 AM

    @qqqq, I did not know that as the title was changed in the US to include the word “indians” and remove that vilest of vile words. Honestly, I’m glad I didn’t know that. Even if I did, I don’t think I would’ve posted that word here regardless. You think I offended someone by saying they seem to be on drugs, but what about the people that are offended by the posting of the ‘n’ word?! Whether you’re on drugs or not is your choice. Whether you are an African American or not isn’t your choice. So what if it’s the title of a book?! I could think of a lot of literary titles with words in them that I sure as hell wouldn’t post here- especially when it has absolutely nothing to do with anything being discussed. I think you’re probably a racist if you’re offended by drugs, but not by the ‘n’ word.

  15. JovisMom

    June 6, 2012 at 11:01 AM

    @ liz – Gotta disagree w\ you on that, people in different countries use words that we don’t. The word “bloody” as in “what a bloody mess you made” in England (from what I heard) is as bad as the F—ing word here. Maybe the “N” word is not taboo where she lives as it is here and she does not know any better. When I read it I thought it might of been a typo as well until qqqq cleared it up, but I wasn’t about to bash someone for getting a typo. It’s clear that English (or American style English) is not her first language. I give her credit for trying.

  16. elizabeth82

    June 6, 2012 at 11:28 AM

    Yeah, I think that commenter is foreign. Re. And Then There Were None, it’s an excellent mystery and one of the top-selling books of all time! I highly recommend it if you haven’t read it (it was also made into a play and two movie versions). Just unfortunate about its original title . . . which then morphed into “Ten Little Indians,” “Ten Little Soldiers,” and finally And Then There Were None.

    Ryan was ridiculous in this episode. He barely made any sense. Bewildering that she did not get rid of him. He’s borderline-insulted her multiple times, and it’s like she’s torn between finding it funny, finding it flirtatious, and being insulted. He and Kalon should’ve been sent packing already.

    Kinda funny how disgusted she looked when Doug didn’t kiss her after she gave him the rose on the 1-on-1. Yet she’s willing to give Jef a pass on not kissing her yet (clue that she likes him more). I’m looking forward to next ep so we can see Jef’s 1-on-1 finally and also Kalon get booted (finally)!

  17. liz123

    June 6, 2012 at 11:37 AM

    @JovisMom, I mean I guess I can see what you’re saying about English (or American English) not being someone’s first language, but I don’t know of a country in which that word is used where it is acceptable. I know in Great Britain that word is just as offensive as in the US. The same is true of Canadians & Australians (even if only because of its American English definition). In fact, in qqqq’s own link they mention that the title of the book was changed to “And Then There Were None” in Great Britain. I don’t think your analogy regarding the use of the word “bloody” is comparable because that word that does not disparage an entire race of human beings.

  18. kasey31

    June 6, 2012 at 9:13 PM

    can i just say one thing? i absolutely love the fact that the comments posted more recently seem to be so much more considerate and polite… not only in regards to rs, but just to each other in general. it’s a really nice change of pace and good to see that everyone seems to be more open to “agreeing to disagree” on certain topics.. it truly makes coming to this site much more enjoyable.. after all, we all have one thing in common.. we love watching this show 🙂

    the best part of the column for me were the burning love videos! i have never seen them before.. i thought i would literally die laughing!!!!!

  19. Cndgirl

    June 9, 2012 at 8:02 PM

    OMG I just watched the burning love videos – and they are so hilarious – completely agree @kasey31 – and I think they have them every Monday – in all honesty, I think I will end up looking forward to those webisodes more so than the Bachelorette! Too funny…

  20. lasuziq

    June 13, 2012 at 4:28 PM

    I’ve always been so excited to get home in anticipation of Bachelor/bachelorette. This season with Emily is so boring.

    Emily is pretty but how far does that go? I’d much prefer a cute/pretty Bachelorette with a sense of humor and fun personlity.

    On the plus side I can make phone calls, balance my checkbook, play with the dogs, go outside and not miss a thing. Snore.

    Hopefully the next Bachelorette will have more to offer..

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