Reality Steve

The Bachelorette 8 - Emily

The Bachelorette Recap Including the “Burning Love” Videos & The Lawsuit is Over

-The 2-on-1 date with Nate and John was next, and honestly, I couldn’t have been less interested. Wait a second, I take that back. I was intrigued to see if Wolfner was going to drop a bunch of f-bombs in his ITM’s like he has all season. Other than that, there wasn’t a single thing about either of these guys that I was looking forward to on this date. Honestly, the best part of this date wasn’t even shown (we’ll get to that in a second). Nate says he kinda has his wall up because of a recent relationship break up. I think these are the first words we’ve heard Nate say all season, which pretty much let you know how this date was going to end up for him. For those unclear, before the 2-on-1 date even begins, Emily pretty much knew Nate was gone. She’s asked by producers, “Ok, who’s definitely someone you’re not seeing yourself with long term?” When she tells them Nate (or any other guy on this show not named Arie, Sean, or Jef), then that person is set to go for that date. John was just another guy to add to fill out the date that she had an interest in, but known he’d never be her final one. I don’t have the greatest memory in the world, but I can almost guarantee that no person who’s ever been part of a 2-on-1 date has been the person chosen in the end. Case closed. (Correction: Woops. Already three people have emailed to tell me Tessa had the 2-on-1 date with Peyton during Andy’s season. Duh. How could I forget that one where Peyton was left standing on the air craft carrier? Oops. My bad). And oh yeah, Wolfner’s friends are all married with kids, he’s 30, and he says he’s ready too. These two couldn’t be more uninteresting if they joined Tony’s plywood company as employees.

-So Nate and John are arriving on a boat to meet Emily. Emily says, “Hey guys!” like they are standing right next to her, until the camera pans away and Nate and John’s boat is at least 300 yards away. You might wanna say that a bit louder, sweetie. I don’t think they heard you. This date was so uninteresting already, the shot then goes back to the hotel where we see the start of the Chris/Doug feud. Doug is 33 so he’s mature, and Chris is 25 so he’s immature. Chris feels it doesn’t matter how old you are, it’s all about your experiences and says Doug hides behind his age. Doug thinks unless you have an 11 year old at the age of 33 and having never been married, you just haven’t been through what he has, thus, you are an inferior peasant that he will squash like a grape when his roids kick in. The pissing contest between these two has only just begun. It’ll all come to a head during the 3-on-1 date in Prague. Chris wins and still loses since Emily isn’t in to either of them. But hey, according to Doug, he wasn’t into her either, so no big deal, right?

-Nate, John, and Emily walk to the top of a cliff and jump off. Neither one of these guys felt it was necessary to hold her hand as they jumped. I figured whoever took that gesture would get a leg up on the other guy. Guess I was wrong. Obviously the best part about this was seeing Emily in a bikini for the first time this season. And she doesn’t work out. Ok. And Ryan doesn’t spend hours in the mirror every morning. I’ll just pretend Emily never said that and just think that magically women are given bodies like that without having to do any work whatsoever. Speaking of great bodies, I just figured I’d throw in one of my favorite videos on the internet right now. Seems like an appropriate time. Take it away Kate Upton:

Let me guess, Kate doesn’t work out either, right? Can I just say thank you to Terry Richardson? The greatest director of all things that have ever been directed. Keep doing what you’re doing Terry. You’re the best.

-We are halfway through the airing of this date, and absolutely nothing has happened. John and Nate are spilling out all the clichéd lines you’d expect to hear, and we don’t know a single thing about either of them. But now that it’s dinner time in the cave, this is where it’s gonna get serious and we’ll really get to know who Emily likes 13th best as opposed to 5th best. Should be riveting. They all cheered, drank, and put their glasses down at the same time – all while saying nothing. Seriously, this is a painful date to watch. I know 2-on-1 dates are awkward enough, but when you throw in two guys who’ve barely gotten any camera time all season, compounded with the fact that neither of them are the least bit interesting, it made it even more uncomfortable for the viewer. Why didn’t Emily just pull a Jake and sh** can both of these guys on the 2-on-1? Did John really stand out that much more than Nate? Oh wait, he did…

-So Nate gets pulled aside to talk to Emily alone and immediately must’ve impressed her with his no socks, loafers, and pants rolled up look. Not to mention the cream color jacket and fluorescent pink shirt. An outstanding look that only Don Johnson could be proud of. If that wasn’t enough, he then said this exact line, “I don’t think I’ve did anything to make you super interested in me.” You certainly got that right, Mr. Grammar. Nate, I don’t think you’ve did’en anything in four episodes to let anyone even know you’re on the show. He then starts crying because he loves his brother or something. Actually, I’m sure it had more to do with what Emily wrote in her blog today.

“… As great as Nate was, there was a moment you didn’t get to see where Nate sang Meatloaf to me and asked what I ‘wouldn’t do for love.’ As funny and odd as it was, I realized we had very little in common and we probably weren’t the best fit for each other…”

Oh no he di uhnt! We’ve all seen how singing on a date is basically the kiss of death on this show, and they’ve had some awful performances in the past, but how in the hell could Nate bust out a Meatloaf song and us not get to see it? For the love of God, that better get released later this week in the deleted scenes. Of little we know about Nate, I don’t think for a second any one of us ever would compare him to Meatloaf. Dammit ABC, put that video up. Nate cannot get off the hook that easily.

-Now it’s John’s turn to bore us. “I don’t think I’m the dynamic personality…” Geez, why don’t these guys just tell Emily not to pick them? Aren’t these guys supposed to sell themselves a bit to her rather than talk about how they’re not like the other guys? We’ve had some interesting 2-on-1 dates in past seasons, but this easily has to rank as the worst. Just think, Brad’s season had a 2-on-1 with two girls who had each had a 1-on-1 date already. Makes it a little more interesting when it’s people you actually care about. Did anyboy jump from their seat with excitement finding out that Wolfner and Nate were on the 2-on-1 date? Hell, the only other option would’ve been Alejandro vs Michael, or some combination mix of those four. Just a bad job done by production to throw people on the date who’d gotten little to no screen time for three episodes. So mericifully, it comes to an end for Nate when Emily drops the “I wouldn’t be being honest if I told you that I saw us together forever” line on him. Ouch. How’d that taste Nate? Pretty soon, Wolfy will probably be getting the same line. I cannot ever remember a 2-on-1 date in this show’s history that got this little of air time. No wonder we got two segments from the cocktail party AND the deliberation with Chris and Emily at the end. They had extra time after this dud of a date.

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  1. cinderelle

    June 6, 2012 at 1:34 AM

    I am watching so called reality show like zoo, and enjoy it more with knowing the probable ending. Kind of reminds me of childhood. I was reading Agatha Christie´s Ten little niggers in my treehouse and couldn´t help but look at the last few pages because first a) I was dying to know b) I could analyze the drama and observe the most important character during reading.

    As we all know, the final three are Arie, Sean and Jef. Jef looks like cute innocent kid, seems truly genuine, whatever that means with person who agrees to find love in front of TV. But Emily looks like his older mature sister and I can´t see them together for more than a lovely playful weekend. She said she wants someone else to be in charge, to be the boss, well, Emmie, Jef is great guy but definitely not a leader.

    Sean would be the safe, rational and pleasant choice, he seems like family type, gentleman and good-dad and husband material. Charming, loyal and maybe little bit boring.

    But here comes Arie and as we all know, some like it hot. And this guy, despite questionable motives and wild past, has the looks, the disarming charm and the wit. Apparently good kisser, which helps too. Loads of passion, tons of romance but I cannot see him settling down. But his editing so far is picture perfect, so maybe he is the final choice, after all, women tend to pick the same types of men. Or racerboys.

    I´m also pleasantly suprised by Emily´s behavior so far, especially being quite honest. From Brad season, I remember her like a plain sweetie lacking any personality with tragic past and fake boobs, but now she is very interesting lead.

    I would also love to get some new info about Bachelor Pad Cast. Summer is coming and some guilty pleasure will be needed.-)

  2. healersdaughter

    June 6, 2012 at 1:40 AM

    Unfortunately, I grew up around guys like Ryan, who mix their definition of masculinity with Christianity and sexism, and are far more interested in themselves than the people around them.

    More importantly: her body language shows that she feels threatened by him and insecure, not valued. Does he not see how weird that is?

    Despite Steve’s beliefs about him, Arie seems much more genuine about him. And dude, lay off the man. Sure, he knew his past would be dug up if he went on the show, but crowing about a man’s personal conquests after a breakup is NOT classy. Stop digging for dirt where there isn’t any, and find out if there are any REAL stories (i.e. guys being dishonest NOW about what they are CURRENTLY doing, or did while on the show).

  3. healersdaughter

    June 6, 2012 at 1:41 AM

    * sorry, added a random “about him” after “genuine.” Unneeded.

  4. mich802

    June 6, 2012 at 5:26 AM

    I just want to know who she ends up with. Happy it won’t be Chris or Ryan.

  5. readformindlessentertainmentandnothingelse

    June 6, 2012 at 6:29 AM

    @aatxcutie, thanks for that info! Wonder if said contestant was Holly, you know there was that Twitter thing a while back where someone asked why RS didn’t like her and she said because she wouldn’t give him info,…wonder if she’s the one that let the cat out of the bag about his methods.

  6. Dianne

    June 6, 2012 at 7:35 AM

    @readfor – that wouldn’t surprise me one bit. I can just see Holly linking up with Jesse C (who Steve also detests), and blowing the whistle on him to ABC.

  7. liz123

    June 6, 2012 at 7:45 AM

    @scavanau, who cares about the spoilers? I’d say the large majority of people who read this blog read it for the spoilers & only the spoilers. A lot of you continue to ask why the “whiners” keep coming back if we don’t love RS’s recaps- well, the spoilers are your answer. It doesn’t seem like it’s that difficult a concept to me. Please, post in this comment section if you don’t care one bit about getting spoilers. I’d love to see how many of you there are. I’m willing to bet there aren’t too many.

    @Maxi, you’re totally entitled to your opinion on Doug & I respect that. I was just stating my own. I know that he is a favorite of a lot of people, so you’re not alone in your thinking. I just don’t personally see it… But then again if we all had the same taste in men there’d be a lot of single people in the world! 😀

  8. cammie99

    June 6, 2012 at 8:33 AM

    readformindless… said:

    @aatxcutie, thanks for that info! Wonder if said contestant was Holly, you know there was that Twitter thing a while back where someone asked why RS didn’t like her and she said because she wouldn’t give him info,…wonder if she’s the one that let the cat out of the bag about his methods.

    I concur! Great observation!

  9. Cndgirl

    June 6, 2012 at 9:07 AM

    Umm @cinderelle I’m pretty sure that’s not the name of Agatha Christies book, and I sincerely hope some weird spellcheck accidentally put that in and you didn’t mean to write that….!!!!!!

  10. addicted2rs

    June 6, 2012 at 9:08 AM

    Question, what is Bachelor Augusta?

    Observation: Brad said he nearly went broke buying Emily expensive gifts – jewelry, shoes etc… so she wants a man who can afford to buy her gifts and treat her like a princess. Who wouldn’t want that? ABC cast her a bunch of guys that do not fit that bill, but Arie does.

  11. liz123

    June 6, 2012 at 9:35 AM

    HaHaHa, @Cndgirl, I noticed that too, but cinderelle’s post was so weird with random words stuck in, words missing, & partial sentences that I’m praying she’s either on a smartphone & doesn’t proofread or she’s on drugs. Are there any other explanations for a post so weird?! But then again what phone changes “indians” (which is what she must have meant) to THAT word?!?! Scary post, honestly.

  12. qqqq

    June 6, 2012 at 10:02 AM

    Scary? That is in fact the original title of the book, which even 10 seconds of research would show you if you didn’t know, before insulting someone and saying they are on drugs!

  13. JovisMom

    June 6, 2012 at 10:10 AM

    @ qqqq – Ha! Learn something new everyday! Thanks for the link. I thought cinderelle grammer was a little off and she might have been from a different country.

  14. liz123

    June 6, 2012 at 10:54 AM

    @qqqq, I did not know that as the title was changed in the US to include the word “indians” and remove that vilest of vile words. Honestly, I’m glad I didn’t know that. Even if I did, I don’t think I would’ve posted that word here regardless. You think I offended someone by saying they seem to be on drugs, but what about the people that are offended by the posting of the ‘n’ word?! Whether you’re on drugs or not is your choice. Whether you are an African American or not isn’t your choice. So what if it’s the title of a book?! I could think of a lot of literary titles with words in them that I sure as hell wouldn’t post here- especially when it has absolutely nothing to do with anything being discussed. I think you’re probably a racist if you’re offended by drugs, but not by the ‘n’ word.

  15. JovisMom

    June 6, 2012 at 11:01 AM

    @ liz – Gotta disagree w\ you on that, people in different countries use words that we don’t. The word “bloody” as in “what a bloody mess you made” in England (from what I heard) is as bad as the F—ing word here. Maybe the “N” word is not taboo where she lives as it is here and she does not know any better. When I read it I thought it might of been a typo as well until qqqq cleared it up, but I wasn’t about to bash someone for getting a typo. It’s clear that English (or American style English) is not her first language. I give her credit for trying.

  16. elizabeth82

    June 6, 2012 at 11:28 AM

    Yeah, I think that commenter is foreign. Re. And Then There Were None, it’s an excellent mystery and one of the top-selling books of all time! I highly recommend it if you haven’t read it (it was also made into a play and two movie versions). Just unfortunate about its original title . . . which then morphed into “Ten Little Indians,” “Ten Little Soldiers,” and finally And Then There Were None.

    Ryan was ridiculous in this episode. He barely made any sense. Bewildering that she did not get rid of him. He’s borderline-insulted her multiple times, and it’s like she’s torn between finding it funny, finding it flirtatious, and being insulted. He and Kalon should’ve been sent packing already.

    Kinda funny how disgusted she looked when Doug didn’t kiss her after she gave him the rose on the 1-on-1. Yet she’s willing to give Jef a pass on not kissing her yet (clue that she likes him more). I’m looking forward to next ep so we can see Jef’s 1-on-1 finally and also Kalon get booted (finally)!

  17. liz123

    June 6, 2012 at 11:37 AM

    @JovisMom, I mean I guess I can see what you’re saying about English (or American English) not being someone’s first language, but I don’t know of a country in which that word is used where it is acceptable. I know in Great Britain that word is just as offensive as in the US. The same is true of Canadians & Australians (even if only because of its American English definition). In fact, in qqqq’s own link they mention that the title of the book was changed to “And Then There Were None” in Great Britain. I don’t think your analogy regarding the use of the word “bloody” is comparable because that word that does not disparage an entire race of human beings.

  18. kasey31

    June 6, 2012 at 9:13 PM

    can i just say one thing? i absolutely love the fact that the comments posted more recently seem to be so much more considerate and polite… not only in regards to rs, but just to each other in general. it’s a really nice change of pace and good to see that everyone seems to be more open to “agreeing to disagree” on certain topics.. it truly makes coming to this site much more enjoyable.. after all, we all have one thing in common.. we love watching this show 🙂

    the best part of the column for me were the burning love videos! i have never seen them before.. i thought i would literally die laughing!!!!!

  19. Cndgirl

    June 9, 2012 at 8:02 PM

    OMG I just watched the burning love videos – and they are so hilarious – completely agree @kasey31 – and I think they have them every Monday – in all honesty, I think I will end up looking forward to those webisodes more so than the Bachelorette! Too funny…

  20. lasuziq

    June 13, 2012 at 4:28 PM

    I’ve always been so excited to get home in anticipation of Bachelor/bachelorette. This season with Emily is so boring.

    Emily is pretty but how far does that go? I’d much prefer a cute/pretty Bachelorette with a sense of humor and fun personlity.

    On the plus side I can make phone calls, balance my checkbook, play with the dogs, go outside and not miss a thing. Snore.

    Hopefully the next Bachelorette will have more to offer..

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