-Before the cocktail party starts, they made sure to show us Ricki doing schoolwork in Bermuda. Because we all know that Ricki probably spent hours upon hours with her head buried in books as she traveled the world in April. Uh huh. I guess this was supposed to justify to America that taking Ricki out of school for a month was o.k. because she was taking her spelling tests in a hotel room. And holy crap! She got them all right! Yay Ricki! We’re so proud of you! Next time don’t cheat since you have no teacher or other students around. Just for that, you now get to move on to London with mommy! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!! You know what’s even worse than them showing us a clip of Ricki doing her homework in Bermuda? Emily pulling Alejandro aside at the cocktail party to make us think she has a remote interest in him too. “The time we spend together is time well spent.” It is? What time you’ve spent together? You mean the time that the producers haven’t bothered to show us because you’re not relevant to any storyline this season? Ahhh, gotcha. Ale-ale-jandro, Ale-ale-jandro, it’s time to go back to tending your mushroom farm. Your mushrooms miss you.
-A lot of you have asked in the last 12 hours why Jef was dressed in khaki shorts and knee high socks at the cocktail party. My answer? I don’t have a freakin’ clue, but he looked ridiculous. Call it edgy, say that’s just Jef being care free, call it funny – I call it dumb. No guy has ever worn shorts to a rose ceremony before. But I guess now because this 12 year old is allowed to dress like he’s attending Oktoberfest, it’s now acceptable? Ok, whatever you say. Lets just let Jef be Jef and march to the beat of his own drum. He’s obviously different from the rest of the pack on this show. As the cocktail party wore on, Ryan continues to impress Emily with his brilliance. And by impress I mean “completely manipulate.” Ryan: “God has blessed me in a lot of ways. I’m romantic, athletic, charming…I’m evaluating Emily…I feel like I’m called to something bigger.” This editing job kept going back and forth between him with Emily, then after Arie interrupted him, he was sitting with Michael talking about “Bachelor Augusta,” yet, you never actually saw him saying these words to Michael. We just saw the back of his head with a voice over, so they obviously played around with his edit. Sure he said it, but the context of how it was shown on the show I’m guessing wasn’t the way he was asked. There are numerous different ways as to why Ryan could’ve been talking about being the “Bachelor Augusta” in an ITM. All part of the edit. He said it, he’s gotta live with saying it, but I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt on this one since it seemed to come out of nowhere. Regardless though, most people think he’s an egomaniacal ass at this point and his bed is made.
-After Arie interrupted Emily with Ryan, he puts her on the spot and says, “Tell me what you really think of me?” Huh? Did he really just ask her that? Just wait til she actually finds out you used to bang her producer. Then I think you’ll get an honest answer of how she really feels about you being on the show. And I will stand by the information I was given a month ago that Emily did find out about Cassie and Arie during filming and wasn’t happy about it. Will they show it? Probably not. Did it happen? Absolutely. Is she over it? I’m sure she is. But she had no idea until after filming had begun that Arie and Cassie had a prior relationship. I don’t think the relationship itself is what bothered her (it was 9 years ago), but I’m guessing she was probably just more bothered by the fact that it definitely makes it seem like Arie was cast on the show more for his personal gain than it was for Emily, and since she liked him, obviously that’d bother someone. Emily seems to be taking this process somewhat seriously, and to find out a guy on the show used to date your producer and is still friends with her to this day, then yeah, that’d probably set you off for a bit. It’d be impossible not to question a guy’s motives at that point.
-Sean’s up next to talk to Emily. Emily: “I feel really strongly about you…” Sean: “How would Ricki handle you getting married?” Hmmmmm, she’s six. I’m guessing Ricki doesn’t quite grasp the concept of marriage just yet. Call me crazy. To her, what guy mommy is seen with is just another guy she can have make believe tea parties with. Or fly a kite with in Brad’s case. When mommy dates Jeremy Shockey, I don’t think Ricki is looking at him as her possible future daddy. Not to mention with cameras following her around wherever she goes, she’s oblivious to what the hell is even going on. I think Emily is even saying in interviews she’s telling Ricki it’s one elaborate home video that they’re making. Someone did tell Sean that Ricki is six and not sixteen, right? I don’t think Ricki’s tutor in Bermuda is teaching her about the sanctity of marriage just yet. Maybe next semester. So Sean and Emily just figure it’d be best to make out at this point. Which means she’s only made out with two guys so far on the show, Sean and Arie. Big deal.
-Well, not according to Doug and Ryan it isn’t. The two guys (outside of Joe) who have received 1-on-1 dates thus far and didn’t get any kiss of any kind are now sitting around talking and trying to convince themselves that “kissing someone doesn’t mean a strong connection.” Uh huh. You keep telling yourself that. Especially on a show like this, it means EVERYTHING. Funny how the older Doug and Ryan can’t seem to score with Emily, yet three younger guys have already kissed her (Sean, Arie, and Chris) with another pipsqueak about to make his move next week in Jef. Doug and Ryan are delusional. Maybe that’s what happens when you share the same needle.
-Time for Chris to step in and officially begin the war of words with Doug over his comments about being more mature since he’s older. He’s mad because Doug said he didn’t think Chris was ready to be a husband and father at 25. This has got Chris’ panties all up in a bunch. His barely-out-of-college-only-one-serious-relationship ass confronts him immediately.
Chris: “Why are you the better man?”
Doug: “You’re being immature.”
Chris: “I’m never gonna back down to you…I don’t believe you.”
Doug: “Believe what?”
Chris: “Just you in general…the way you are, the way you act…”
Ummmmm, can we call this argument a tie for last? There was zero resolution to any of it, both of them were being stubborn in their statements, and frankly, I’m already sick of both of them. What a bunch of whiny babies. If Chris and Doug argue in a forest, does anybody hear it? Great, we get it Chris. You don’t like Doug calling you young. And Doug, because you’re the oldest guy left with a son that could be competing on this show in about 9 years, we get that you’re more mature than everyone else. Chris, you’re never gonna convince Doug you’re mature enough, and Doug, you’re never gonna convince him that you’re not acting like you’re better than him. Now drink up some more boys. There needs to be more fake contrived arguments since this show is seriously lacking in the drama department this season.