Reality Steve

Dr. Reality Steve

“Reader Emails,” “Dr. Reality Steve,” and the Ridiculous “In Touch” Story From Yesterday

Dr. Reality Steve

Two weeks since we’ve had a Dr. Reality Steve column, yet, only four emails to cover this week. It’s ok. That giant “Reader Email” bag more than made up for it. Lets get right to the questions…
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Dear Steve,

I’m so thrilled that the lawsuit is over! I was hoping all was going to be good for you, given that ABC was clearly bullying you. I loved Tuesday’s column, it was really really funny.

I have a question for Dr Reality Steve:

I have a friend who started his own company. We have been very good acquaintances ever since we met last year and I have introduced him to good contacts for his business.

We have been out for dinner and coffee for business reasons. Once or twice, back in January, he started flirting and mentioned that he thought I was very attractive, that I was his type and how great he was in bed.
He knows that I am in a serious relationship, so I stopped him there and told him that I was happy in my relationship and that I am very faithful to my boyfriend, and he hasn’t tried it again. After that, we have continued to talk as if nothing, and he hasn’t given me that “vibe” again. We didn’t meet for dinner again though, as we have been really busy with our jobs.

Well, I recently lost my job and when we spoke on the phone, he told me that he thought I was good at what I do, and that if I need some unpaid experience I could work for him at his firm while I get another job. I’ve thought about it and there are several reasons why I think I should do it: I won’t have a gap on my resume, I could learn a lot from him as a manager, and above all, this would be my chance to break into his very coveted industry and I could continue my job search while showing that I’m still employed. I think he and I could make a great team and close some deals as our styles for conducting business complement each other.

Nevertheless I was wondering if I should even work for him. I don’t want to start working there if there is a chance that he will try anything with me again and then fire me if I don’t do it (and then goodbye resume experience), particularly because his company is private and I’m not even sure whether we will have an employment contract, there is no HR at his startup, etc.

So Dr, Reality Steve, is there a chance that he is offering me this opportunity because he wants to get in my pants? I’m confused, because he hasn’t tried anything since January, but yet we haven’t met again for dinner after I put a stop to his flirting. If your answer is “it’s possible” then do you have any recommendations so I don’t give him mixed messages and just keep him at bay?
At this point, my job search is not going well, there aren’t a lot of jobs but i’m hoping the job market will open up in the fall.

Just to clarify: there is no chance in hell that I would sleep with that guy. I like him as a friend and as a business contact but that’s it.

Comment: If you’re still out of work, and you think that’s a place you can work at, then sure, I’d give it try. It definitely helps that you said you’d never sleep with him, since now there won’t be any temptation on your part. But if he makes advances at you or is only hiring you to get in your pants, I think you’ll know rather quickly and then you can just get out of it. But it sounds like it was a one time instance where he hit on you and it didn’t work, so maybe he got the picture.
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Dear Steve,

Dated a guy for a few months last year. We broke up, then were going to stay friends. We hung out a few times after but then he ended up in a relationship and I really never heard from him. Now he’s around again, and I’m a little confused about his motivations. How do I figure out what’s going on? He’s really hard to read and I’m very confused. Although he has gone out of his way to compliment me on my hair and stuff, I just worry I’m reading into things. Let me be clear…I don’t want a relationship and I’m sure he doesn’t either. However, it could be a friends-with-benefits deal or he could really just be looking for someone to hang out with and do stuff with. We’re in our 20s and we both have friends who are not in the area, so it sort of makes sense we’d hang out…right? We had a really good time just hanging out recently and while there seems to be little doubt about our mutual attraction to one another, maybe it’s better to just be friends and not ruin it by hooking up– if he even wants to. Just wanted to get your input into this.

Comment: Impossible for me to answer since I’m not you. If you want the friends-with-benefits thing, then do it. If you don’t, then don’t. You did say you don’t want a relationship, so, venturing into anything with this guy basically means it’d be just a hook up thing and nothing more. Just know that if he ever gets a girlfriend again, you’ll probably never hear from him again just like the first time around.
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Hi Steve, I love reading your column and I love your sometimes sarcastic and blunt answers, and I think maybe I need someone to just be blunt with me about my current situation with my former best friend.

I am currently 24 years old and have been best friends with a girl I met my freshman year of high school. When we met she hated me and made my life a living hell because her boyfriend at the time thought I was cute. After enduring this hatred for some time, we ended up on the same cheerleading team and she apologized and we became close. Throughout high school she went through some traumatic experiences, losing a family member and a boyfriend. I was her only friend that attended her family member’s funeral to support her, and I came home early from a basketball tournament to stay with her after her boyfriend was killed. I cared about her and always wanted to be there for her. During my senior year of high school, I was diagnosed with cancer. I had to periodically travel to see doctors and to have surgery, and the doctor I saw was close to the town my best friend was living in and going to college. This friend never came to see me in the hospital, she had joined a sorority and was caught up in that life style. As hurt as I was, I continued to be her friend, and be there for her. After my surgeries my friend got pregnant and decided to get married, and I was the maid of honor in her wedding. It has been several years since she got married and moved even further away, and throughout the years we have grown apart. We hardly ever talk, I used to go and visit her, but she made my trips to see her miserable so I stopped going. She has family in my hometown but she never visits. When I had my daughter my friend was offered a free plane ticket to come to my baby shower to surprise me, but she turned it down saying she did not want to endure a layover. Recently, I have gotten engaged, and as soon as I got engaged she was wanting to be back in my life and be close like we used to be, and she vocalized her expectations of being in my wedding, preferably my maid of honor. Honestly, I don’t want her in my wedding, I have a fear of her not showing up or suddenly not having the money to buy a dress, and I don’t want to take that risk. I also have grown closer with so many other people and I also have family members to include. I politely told this friend that unfortunately I was not going to be able to have her in my wedding because there were family members that I needed to include, and she through a temper tantrum. She gave me a public beating on the internet and bad mouthed me to all of her family and mutual friends. I was so upset I have not been able to talk to her, she did email me to say that all of the stuff she was putting on the internet had nothing to do with me and that she had not been saying horrible things to our mutual friends, but I know that is a bunch of bull. I chose not to respond to that email, no use in adding fuel to the fire.

My question to you is, some time has passed since this all happened, and sometimes I miss her and I try to think positively and think that everything will eventually be okay. But deep down I know that isn’t true, that she will never be a friend to me the way I was a friend to her. Part of me doesn’t want to even invite her to my wedding, is that horribly rude of me? Or should I try to be the bigger person and try to forgive and move on and be friends with her again? I go back and forth on what I should do, and I guess I need a blunt answer from someone I don’t know, and being a man and not as emotional as us females, I am interested in your thoughts. Thank you for your time.

Comment: This is simple: If you don’t want her in your wedding, especially as maid of honor, then don’t invite her. By what you described, she’s just incredibly selfish and to do what she did is pretty unforgivable if you ask me. She’s not really a true friend if what you described above is true. Cut her loose and enjoy your wedding. You don’t need that headache.
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Help Dr. Steve!!

I have a question that I can’t ask anyone in my life, and I’m dying to get a mans opinion!!

I had an affair.

I’m a married woman with a family, and he’s also a married man in the same situation. We know each other professionally and neither of us has done this sort of thing before. It started with flirty emails, and after about a month turned into a sexual encounter. Prior to the “hook up” we emailed most of the day… Probably in excess of fifty short emails a day. However, since then it has dwindled. Now, I might hear from him every few days, and generally only if i initiate. His emails (when i get them) continue to be flirty and sexual, but I’m curious why I’ve suddenly stopped hearing from him. I’ve asked him what changed and he claims he’s been busier at work (which I know to be true) and that he still is “into” me. He claims he wants to continue our affair but it doesn’t make sense how he can say that but suddenly distance himself… Could it be just that the thrill of the chase is over and its going to be more casual? Or do you think it’s a sign he’s no longer into me? I know it shouldn’t even matter since we’re both married and neither of us wants to split up, but it was a lot of fun hearing from him. My opinion is that he’s over it, but I don’t get the male psyche!

Comment: I’m sure part of it has to do with the chase being over. However, he did say he wanted to continue the affair so, uhhhhhhh, that’s good? You’ve already gone down that path so nothing I say will change your mind about what you did or how shi**y I think what you two are doing is. Sounds like you need attention and you’re not getting it at home, so you resorted to finding it somewhere else. And now that the attention has died down, you don’t know what to do. I don’t know. Maybe start up another affair and watch the same thing happen again. I don’t know what you expect when you’re having an affair. Flowers, cards, and chocolates sent to you every day? If I were you, I’d lower your expectations with the guy. He’s a sex toy and that’s about it.
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See you tonight for the live video blog at 9:00PM EST/6:00PM PST. Send your emails to: steve@realitysteve.com. To follow me on Twitter, it’s: www.twitter.com/RealitySteve. Or join my Reality Steve Facebook Fan Page. Talk to you tonight.

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45 Comments

45 Comments

  1. traversingthetwincities

    July 12, 2012 at 9:40 AM

    I hope that the person who sent in the maid-of-honor email sees this, because I have seen the exact same thing happen with a friend of mine. She DID end up having the person as her maid-of-honor and it was terrible. The maid of honor planned her bachelorette party, which she had asked to not involve going out (she doesn’t drink) and doing one of those scavenger hunts where you have to get condoms & underwear from guys in bars (she is extremely shy). The maid-of-honor instead planned what she would have wanted, rather than taking the bride into account at all, and she had no fun at her own bachelorette party. She made a huge scene at the rehearsal dinner & wedding and all anyone remembers is that the night was all about her. She stopped talking to my friend immediately following the wedding, after sending about an 8 paragraph email about how horribly she was treated by the rest of the wedding party (false). In short, she sounds a lot like the girl that you know. Everything has ALWAYS been all about her. When anyone mentions her name, they immediately follow it with “focus on me,” which is one of her most uttered phrases. Your wedding day should be about you. She sounds like an absolutely horrible friend who will make every step of the way about her and/or cause a scene if she doesn’t get her way. Don’t let her bully you into doing something you don’t want to do. I wouldn’t even invite her to the wedding, let alone make her the maid of honor. It sounds like there’s a good chance you’ll never even see her again, so even if she’s furious that she’s not in the wedding, hopefully you’re enough removed from her that you don’t have to deal with her freaking out.

  2. cubsfan2785

    July 12, 2012 at 10:07 AM

    I read the story about Emily getting dumped by her first choice on Perez Hilton’s website. He is a serious blogger who usually reports the truth. He did not say he got his sources from In Touch. Had he said that, people probably wouldn’t have believed him. So the people Steve went off on that believed the tabloid story also probably read it on Perez’s site.

  3. liz123

    July 12, 2012 at 10:12 AM

    Hahahaha, I wouldn’t exactly call this little blogger site an “empire”. Hilarious!

    Also, I guess being a liberal gay woman makes you the authority on when someone is allowed to be offended. Get over yourself.

  4. punka

    July 12, 2012 at 12:00 PM

    OK peeps, let me give you some skinny on Jef and him being a Mormon. And about his parents. PunkA is a Mormon, so yeah, I know this stuff.

    Mromons are like any other faith in that some people live it, some don;t, and there are all types from uber-non practing. Basically, the norm for any religion. Of course, LDS(short term for Mormons) that are living it are not into drinking, premarital sex, etc.

    When it comes to Jef, he has been drinking on the show which tells you he is not living it right now. Similar to Michelle Money, who grew up LDS but does not live it completely, as she drank on the show as well. And as to Bentley, he acted like a Dbag.

    As to Jef’s parents, they are what is known as “Mission Presidents”. In the church, boys can serve a two-year volunteer mission anywhere in the world at age 19, girls at age 21 for 18 months. You get assigned to a geogrpahic area, which means some people have to learn the native language when assigned to a foreign area. Those “missions” have a person who oversees them and all the missionaries in that geographic area, which can afrom 70-200 missionaires in a given area. It is a 3-year term for a mission president, is unpaid and totally voluntary. That is what Jef’s parents are doing. They are basically overseeing the Church’s proselyting efforts in the South Carolina area, and as such, have to deal with all the 19-year old boys and 21 year old girls. They assign them their areas of service, theri companions (missionsries serve in groups of 2 typically) etc. and it is actually a big deal in the Church and parents who serve in this capacity usually do not leave the mission unless a huge family event occurs, like a marrage. But meeting some girl would not qualify, so that is why they did not show up forthte Hometown.

    Maybe more than you wanted to know, but there it is. IF questions, ask me. Happy to give more details.

  5. duckyglass

    July 12, 2012 at 12:35 PM

    For the dude who does the drinking game…if you really wanna be hammered on Monday nights, take one drink every time Emily says “like” and two drinks any time one of the guys says it. You will be three sheets to the wind, baby!

  6. karynr

    July 12, 2012 at 12:49 PM

    To the person who wrote the letter about how much she/he dislikes RS, don’t waste your energy. Ignorant people, and RS is about as ignorant as a person can be, don’t get it. The guy is a joke. Enjoy the occasional spoiler, quickly skim the angry, jealous recaps, then laugh your ass off reading the comments section.

  7. JovisMom

    July 12, 2012 at 12:50 PM

    @ punka – Thanks for clearing up about the LDS religion. I once worked w\ a girl who was Mormon (pretty big into it) She spit out her ceaser salad when she read on the lable it had white wine in it! Anywho, my question for you is, since Jef’s parents are so into their religion how do you think they feel about Jef’s choice to not embrace it they way they do? (judging by the lemonade toast his bros/sis are also big into it) Is it taboo for him to do that? I believe Emily is Catholic. Would that be a problem for Jef’s family? Don’t you have to be Mormon to get married in their church (or even step foot into it for a wedding)? Just curious?

  8. jessica13

    July 12, 2012 at 1:18 PM

    The person who wrote about the Maid of Honour situation:
    I feel so bad for you! First of all, let me say congrats for beating cancer! Secondly, I know exactly how you feel about unreciprocated friendship. I had a “best friend” like that throughout elementary/high school, and I eventually just cut her loose during university. She was shocked because I was always there for her – to listen to her whine about nothing close to the tragedies you or your friend endured (e.g. a lame guy breaking up with her!). It got to the point where I realized…she only EVER brings me down. She never is interested in my life. Why bother? That’s not a friendship. I just got married and I had a small wedding party and only included people I KNOW will always be in my life – my sister, my husband’s sister, a friend I’ve had since I was 3, and my cousin. Period. I never want to look back and have pictures/memories be clouded by someone who is no longer a friend…y’know? I really hope you stay strong & surround yourself with only those who are going to lift you higher on your special day…NOT bring you down. Congrats on your marriage & best of luck 🙂

  9. amanda876

    July 12, 2012 at 2:07 PM

    Hi JovisMom. I also grew up in a Mormon family. It is true that most religious parents would prefer that their children marry someone of the same faith (like most religions) but it will revolve entirely around the family dynamics-some may be more accepting than others. Anyone is welcome to go to church, it is the temple that one must be a member to attend, and even if you are a member, you may not be able to depending on your lifestyle.

  10. amanda876

    July 12, 2012 at 2:09 PM

    Sorry, you meant how do they feel about him not embracing it. A lot of children from LDS families don’t practice the religion and then eventually go back to it once they get older. I’m sure they aren’t ecstatic about his choices, but love him nonetheless. Mormons are all about family.

  11. elizabeth82

    July 12, 2012 at 2:12 PM

    A bunch of little thoughts on this post . . .

    Bummed the video blog coincides with premiere of “Big Brother.” Haven’t watched for a couple seasons but like the show and thought I’d tune in again. It certainly appeals to me more than “Bachelor Pad” (but not “Bachelor or “Bachelorette,” of course 😉 ). Btw, for the first time I’m tempted to check out “BP” since Ed and Reid are on it (Jillian’s season ftw!) but ugh . . . “superfans,” Jaclyn, Kalon . . . meh!

    I’ve still had issues with Crackle ads but figured enough people would be e-mailing that he didn’t need to hear from everyone. Maybe everyone experiencing it should’ve since RS thinks it can’t be that widespread an issue if he’s not hearing from all the readership about it.

    I don’t get why Steve thinks Jef is like a little boy. Sure, he’s not beefy, he’s got kind of a hipster style, he’s youthful looking, but it’s not like he’s 21. I don’t get why he’s so against/dismissive of the guy. Jef seems pretty real, which I like about him. I continue to think he and Emily would look kinda off together (because their styles are so incongruent), but hey, it’s their lives and they know what they have between them.

    As much as people rag on Steve for being “douchey,” I could not agree more with his stance on affairs. If you’re not ready for the potential hardships of a serious long-term commitment, simply don’t get married. If you want to have an affair that badly, then leave the marriage and maintain some integrity. Seems like such an easy way out/impulsive thing to do.

  12. ifucsam

    July 12, 2012 at 2:41 PM

    Sorry Steve, Jed Bartlet is the greatest fictional president of all time.

  13. punka

    July 12, 2012 at 3:03 PM

    @JovisMom–I think Jef’s family is fine with it. Seemed like he had great relationships with his siblings, so based upon that, I bet he does with his parents as well. They may not like all his chopices, but honestly, what parent does when it comes to their kids.

    Coming from a lrage LDS family myself, we have at least 1 black sheep. Or more. So it is par for the course and a reality of life. At the end of the day, we all get to choose how to live, what to do and what not to do. And family members who leave the faith or choose not to live it do not get shunned. That is just not part of hte culture. The culture is family first, even if not abiding by LDs principals.

  14. lucky

    July 12, 2012 at 3:05 PM

    To Girl with ex-BF/Maid of Honor: You can’t lose a friend you never really had…

    and she obviously was never a true friend to you. Been there (even worse, I was used by her for years for family vacations, etc) and it took a while to get over the hurt but very glad I terminated the relationship. Good luck.

  15. lucky

    July 12, 2012 at 3:10 PM

    I have a 20 yo neice at BYU. She is the only LDS in all of our family – extended as far as you can go. She grew up in Mesa, AZ and befriended many LDS and decided to embrace the faith. She is not only normal but has a brilliant mind, is beautiful, kind and doesn’t drink/act like the Jersey Shore losers. There is nothing bad or “wrong” about the LDS faith.

  16. wisewords

    July 12, 2012 at 4:51 PM

    Just did my super-fast skim of this column and saw some comment advising people who are having trouble with the Crackle take-over ads to “get a better browser.” FYI those occurred on my newer model android phone where my choice of browsers is extremely limited. They literally take over the browser and make it impossible to continue reading the column. This is a pretty nasty piece of crap ware, and no bonafide blog site should have this running in the background. Period.

  17. cangel44

    July 12, 2012 at 4:52 PM

    For the married woman having an affair, if your not happy in your marriage then get out. You have a family and it is not fair to them that you are having an affair and looking to further your affair with him. I dont know what you are expecting from him. Maybe you are expecting him to leave your wife for you. If I were you I would seek counseling with your husband to see what is missing from your marriage.

  18. realityfan879

    July 12, 2012 at 5:08 PM

    Just an FYI — what Sean was referring to at the bar when he spoke with Jenna about Steve having the final 3 wrong… he was referring to the fact that up until that point Steve kept saying the final two were Sean and Jef, and that Arie was eliminated earlier. Not sure why he had that info. wrong, but I’m sure with all 3 staying at the final destination he was thrown off a bit.

  19. liz123

    July 12, 2012 at 5:42 PM

    Realityfan879, i’m not a huge fan of Stevd, but you should do your homework or at least read this entire particular column if you’re going to respond. Steve never said that. All he ever said was that the F3 were Jef, Sean, & Arie & Arie was not the F1. Recently, he said Jef was F1. That still leaves F2 & F3 open to interpretation.

  20. realityfan879

    July 12, 2012 at 6:44 PM

    Liz123–I guess I mispoke–instead of saying “kept saying” I should have said “kept alluding” to his guess that Arie was eliminated before Sean/Jef a few times…watch video blog #19 around minute 20. Time for you to do some homework. 🙂

  21. realityfan879

    July 12, 2012 at 7:12 PM

    Oh Liz123– also on video blog #19, he says again at approx. 1:10, a viewer asks “Why are you so certain Arie didn’t make the final two?” and Steve clearly says “he didn’t… the only way Arie gets to the finale is if something tricky happens where she doesn’t let anyone go at the final 3.” 🙂

  22. wastingtimeonline

    July 12, 2012 at 7:31 PM

    I also want to add a comment for the person who asked about putting her “friend” in her wedding. One of my favorite quotes is this: “I am a good enough person to forgive you, but I am not dumb enough to trust you.” I think most people have had a so-called friend like this, maybe even more than one. Mine was a best friend from college, who started out talking behind my back (make sure the person you’re talking about isn’t in their bedroom before you assume they’re not home) and then moved on to just saying mean things right to my face, of course over a guy. She was so crazy jealous that I was dating someone and she wasn’t that she threw our friendship away over it (she didn’t even like him, just didn’t think she should be without a date if I had one). That was over 12 years ago. Then, last summer a dear friend got very sick and we had a get together to take her mind off of her illness. For the first time in over a decade, I saw my former best friend. You would think after not seeing each other for that long she could move on and leave the drama in the past, especially given the reason we were there. But she still mentioned my old boyfriend a few times during the night to see what kind of reaction I would give her and I was dumbfounded. I ignored her every time, and she finally gave up. People can change, but some never will and there’s no use letting them ruin any more of your days, let a lone your wedding day.

  23. kasey31

    July 12, 2012 at 8:19 PM

    @realityfan879- u really went back to search through all those videos to prove your point to liz? wow.. “video 19”? 20 minutes in??? man, i wish i had that kind of time.. im jealous!

  24. My3girls

    July 12, 2012 at 8:53 PM

    Over the past couple of days, I went back and rewatched all of the episodes of this season. I never paid full attention before, playing Words with Friends, shopping online, etc.

    I never once heard anyone say “leap of faith”. I am surprised because in the past, it was one of the most annoying things the contestants would say (to me anyway).

    What I did hear A LOT was Emily say “I’m excited…” She must have said it 10 times per episode, if not more.

  25. aatex

    July 12, 2012 at 9:14 PM

    Emily is just on auto-play… “I know right” and “like” and “thank you” and “I’m so excited”. She sure has a nasty temper though when things don’t go “EmsWay”

    Bleh~

  26. kasey31

    July 12, 2012 at 10:56 PM

    “leap of faith!” yesss.. oh, how i miss that phrase.. i think it’s bc they didn’t go bungee jumpying or skydiving this season.. no one said it better than tenley.. boy did she annoy the heck out of me..

  27. cgard318

    July 12, 2012 at 11:07 PM

    @cubsfan2785 PerezHilton steals his info from other sites, like TMZ and InTouch so I have no doubts he got the story that was posted today from InTouch or the like, Also, he doesn’t even write most of the blog anymore. Other people do it for him.

  28. cangel44

    July 13, 2012 at 12:23 AM

    My theory is that Emily rejected Jef and sent him home. They usually send the one he/she is not going to pick out first to the FRC. Or maybe she cuts him loose before the FRC. After he leaves that is when Emily is rejected by Arie leaving her all alone. Since Jef/Sean are still being held captive they send Jef back and sees that Emily is a total mess and thats when he proposes. So there is no FRC since she was rejected. That is why the ATFR is live.

  29. jann

    July 13, 2012 at 7:42 AM

    During one of your recent columns, you stated how your stats are even more impressive to your advertisers when the number of new viewers is high. If the new viewers are so valuable to you, then why are you so sarcastic and rude towards them whenever they ask a question that has been asked before? It’s not like they have been reading your column in the past, after all, they are “new viewers”. And it is not like one can easily search or quickly search your site for answers to their questions.

  30. jann

    July 13, 2012 at 7:46 AM

    I find it pretty funny…how in one of your columns you were making fun of John and his father’s paper shredding company in St. Louis. Yet you have a job writing columns on your website devoted to recaps and spoilers of a reality show. I hardly think that you are one to be making fun of someone else’s job.

  31. kasey31

    July 13, 2012 at 8:03 AM

    bunjee jumpying and no one corrected me : )

    @jann- i agree with u 110%.. ive only been reading his column for the past few years, and hes never once answered the question about remembering the guys’ names.. im always secretly happy when someone emails him about it (bc i know better than to ask him that), in hopes that he’ll actually answer it.. but nope. i wish he would just answer the question!

  32. kasey31

    July 13, 2012 at 8:04 AM

    *”bungee jumpying”

  33. Amy

    July 13, 2012 at 8:59 AM

    @kasey……if I recall correctly Steve said that the lead tells the producers who she’s going to let go and they give her a few names at a time, then stop, give a the next couple, stop and so on until she’s through.

  34. Sunnyside422

    July 13, 2012 at 9:07 AM

    Yup…the rose ceremonies (at least at the beginning) last through the night (per RS) into the wee hours of the morning for just the reasons Amy detailed. Eliminations are not done fell swoop as we see them. Loads of time is spent talking to each of the men and those of interest, will get more one on one time with Emily. She would know who she was attracted to from the first night.

    However, as the number decrease, producers dictate the order roses are given out. I believe RS (and someone can address that for accuracy) stated that when it gets down to like the last 5 or 6, Emily gets more say in dates and rose give outs.

  35. realityfan879

    July 13, 2012 at 11:50 AM

    @kasey31 You seem to have quite a bit of time yourself.. I see several of your postings on here. This website sucks us all in I suppose.
    As far as the videos, it doesn’t take much time at all to look through them– all the questions are clearly posted. You skip to the part of the video you want… takes less than 5 minutes.

  36. melissa

    July 13, 2012 at 6:09 PM

    Hi Steve!
    Two comments:

    These shows wouldn’t be nearly as much fun without your comments and your inside info. I don’t understand why Fleiss doesn’t get this. I watch the show and then read your posts. Without your wit and sarcasm, it wouldn’t be as entertaining.

    And, I would never pick a bachelor whose father served me a baked armadillo, even in fun!

  37. kasey31

    July 13, 2012 at 10:34 PM

    @amy and sunnyside422- thank u for clearing that up for me : ) someone suggested a FAQs portion to this site and he responded with something pretty mean, par usual.. but i think it’s actually a really good idea for those who havent been reading him forever..

    @realityfan879- i do comment on here a frequently.. but unfortunately for me, i dont have much time on my hands.. if u notice the time of day i post, it’s either very early in the morning, or very late at nite.. 10 hr work days dont allow for much free time.. plus, i dont have access to a computer at work..

    anyway, yes it is easy to get sucked into all of this, but for me it’s a nice quiet distraction, since my job consists of non stop talking allll. day. long. i just dont think i could bare to go through all of his videos to see what he said.. i dont remember steve ever saying arie doesnt make the f2, but i guess im wrong?

  38. realityfan879

    July 14, 2012 at 7:42 AM

    @kasey31– Understandable, as most of us can’t sit around all day watching his videos, but for the first time in several years of following this website I signed on to comment because I clearly remember him saying it a few times in a video blog I’d seen- going back to find it was easy as I knew I’d watched #19. If you watch the small clip I mention you’ll hear him address it. 🙂 Never did I think I’d get several responses!

    It’s understandable Steve may not remember everything he ever says related to this…he’s bound to trip himself up on occasion.

  39. kasey31

    July 14, 2012 at 8:06 AM

    @realityfan879- he also has a hard time admitting if he did slip up.. i guess the only thing that helped his cause is that his predictions were so confusing and vague, that even the readers couldnt remember what he said.. and usually theyre the first ones to call him out on stuff like that..

  40. kasey31

    July 14, 2012 at 8:06 AM

    k.. off to work.. have a great day, everyone! : )

  41. hahahaha

    July 15, 2012 at 3:48 PM

    Jef??? Really??? YUCK!!!! Poor Mickey Rooney… he was born in the wrong decade! If only he was born decades later, he could have had chance with Emily, too!!! And… I must say…. Emily’s forehead fascinates me!!! I just find myself staring at it the entire show! It just doesn’t move! Looks like a giant M&M!!!! : D !

  42. mommyof2

    July 15, 2012 at 8:01 PM

    Completely agree with Steve that David Palmer is thr best fictional President ever. I miss my favorite TV shows, Lost and 24, but thankfully ABC brought in Revenge. Can’t wait for September!

  43. bootspaige

    July 16, 2012 at 12:49 PM

    Wetpaint.com has released an update on the ATFR and why it is live…i’m sure this will amount to nothing. If it is Arie that comes back with lingering feelings and she refutes him, then i am 100% convinced that he is a plant to offer her an out this season if she didn’t find anyone.

    http://www.wetpaint.com/the-bachelorette/articles/why-the-bachelorettes-after-the-final-rose-special-will-be-live-not-taped-exclusive

  44. gingin444

    July 16, 2012 at 10:47 PM

    I amm still so baffled that his religion , Mormon was never discussed between them on the show. If Jef’s parents had the influence to have him break up his last serious relationship, surely Emily would need to convert to be a Morman to marry their son Jef. I don’t know what the rest of the US knows about that religion but they are very strict on what you can wear( no sleeveless shirts or shorts/skirts above the knee), drink(no alcohol), no activities outside family including spending money at restaurants, etc or attending activities on Sundays, and if you live in Idaho or Utah where the majority are her child will not be socializing with children of other religions in most cases. This is a big commitment! What do you think Steve?

  45. lynetalive

    July 17, 2012 at 5:26 PM

    gingin444. You have some info correct and some.. well is just stereotyping. I have been a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints my whole life.
    At one point for a few years I, like Jef, was not an active member. While the standards of dress and drinking and such as well as keeping the Sabbath day holy are pretty much on par, there are misconceptions about how we interact with others who are not members of our faith. She does not have to convert to marry Jef. Now if they want to be active in the church and be married in the temple, then she would have to be a member. My mom married my dad and he is not Mormon. There are a lot of Mormons in Utah and Idaho, yes, but there are people that aren’t members and there are many that aren’t active in the church. Do I want to live in Utah, no, I like diversity and the balance I find for my family in AZ or even elsewhere, plenty of friends from church and school and other activities. The same goes with most people I know. Just an FYI.
    I am not positive, but if you go to the hometown date when Jef discusses why his parents aren’t there, it doesn’t sound like him saying the words “charity work” when he would have mentioned they are serving as mission Presidents. I am sure just as with Michelle Money and Bentley, the show is leaving out any edits that include specific discussion of the religion. We see so little of what goes on.
    Sorry for the novel.

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