Reality Steve

Dr. Reality Steve

“Reader Emails,” “Dr. Reality Steve,” and a Special Guest on the Live Blog Tonight

More “Reader Emails” this week that reach back a couple of weeks. But hey, no one asked about the driveway or the roses, so, I guess we can consider it a success, no? Enjoy…

Hi Steve!

I’m a fan (for many years now,1st time writing) from Croatia, the country Emily and her guys visited. I obviously download the episodes to watch them but most of all I love reading your spoilers and recaps!

I wasn’t surprised that they filmed an episode in Croatia because it’s apparently a big hit now among the celebs (Beyonce and Jay-z, Eva Longoria, Penelope Cruz…) but I was shocked how far away the producers were from showing the tradition of my country in the beautiful city of Dubrovnik as Emily and the guys went on dates. There are so many beautiful places, thousand of islands and interesting stuff to do and see there! I already don’t like that Mike Fleiss guy, but the producers could’ve done some research! We are obviously NOT from Scotland so we DON’T wear kilts and all that mumbo-jumbo they did on the group date. The dates almost every time have stuff that are authentic to the place they’re visiting. My country was totally underestimated. But I guess they don’t care about that as you’ve told us they don’t care about a lot of stuff – if they can’t edit them 😉

I read your answers to fans so there isn’t much I’d want to know but I do have a question: are you friends with any of the former contestants and do they have to hide that they hang out or talk to you? How do you actually meet them or is that always on your initiative? (I only know you recently adressed something about Holly Durst/now Julian/)

Thanks and keep up the good work! Love the sarcasm – especially the ones about chris harrison!

Comment: It’s been brought up quite a few times that the show did a horrible job of depicting Croatia as it is. That’s not surprising.

Yes, I’m friends with former contestants. Mostly from them initially contacting me about my column, then it goes from there. I’ve only met a handful and it all depends on where I happened to be. Your friends with someone long enough on email, if either one happens to be in the others town, of course you want to meet up at some point. It’s nothing more than that.

Hi Steve,

Love the column, thanks. No thanks though, for all the procrastination in my life it causes!

Question…. I’m guessing Neil Lane pays for the engagement rings, but is there a maximum budget? They keep saying that Jef (with one F)’s ring was the most expensive in history… did he have to kick in extra money to get such an expensive ring?

I’d check the FAQ, but, well, you know…

Comment: No. The contestants don’t pay anything for the ring. It’s donated by Neil Lane in exchange for airtime.

I have always wondered about the fantasy overnight dates. I know that a lot of the previous contestants and leads have said that it is a really important date, not just because of the romance factor but because they get to converse without cameras. My question is, I know there are no cameras, but are they ALL alone, just the two of them? I assume if they are going to get freaky they are alone, but I would also wonder if ABC ever gets scared that while they are alone the lead will tell someone “I am definitely going to pick you” or “I’m not going to pick you but I respect you, so I’m telling you now so you don’t make an ass of yourself.” Maybe I am reading too much into it, but that is what I would do if I was a lead.

Comment: Yes, they are all alone. Whether or not the lead tells certain people, “I’m going to pick you,” is on a case-by-case basis. Only they know for sure, but I’m guessing some have.

Hi, I’ve never written in before, but just wanted to say I love your recaps! I just wanted to ask you a few questions…

1) Is there any truth to the tabloid story about Emily spending a night in the fantasy suite with Arie? I thought the editing on their date was weird…we never saw Emily and Arie discussing the fantasy suite, just Emily saying in a voiceover that she didn’t want to give him the card. I hope for Jef’s sake it’s not true…call me crazy but I really do hope they last.

2) Do you really think Emily was split between Jef and Arie down to the final week, or do you think she had made up her mind before hand? Every season they try to sell that the lead is “so torn” but sometimes it’s pretty obvious they aren’t…as with Ben and Lindzi. If Emily knew it was going to be Jef before the final week, then boy did she sure do a good job of acting. She really led Arie on with all the kissing, even right up onto the meet the parents date!

3) If Roberto backs out of the Bachelor, do you think they would ask Arie? I think Sean would have a better reception with the women, but Arie would make better TV. Sean just seems kind of dull.

Comment: 1) A lot of speculation about whether or not Emily had overnight dates with the guys. On screen, they showed her not having any of the guys stay over. Off screen? I don’t know. I wasn’t there. But I wouldn’t be surprised if she did.

2) I’m sure Emily had a good idea it was Jef earlier than she made it known on TV. I’m guessing most of them do. But for television purposes, of course they have to pretend like they’re struggling with the decision or else it’d give it away. Exactly what point she knew it was Jef? I don’t know.

3) If it’s not Roberto, which I still believe it to be, I’m sure they will go after Arie and Sean. I just don’t see it being Arie due to his player status, the fact we know he’s already been linked to a producer, and the fact that, well, I don’t think anyone with half a brain could see he’s actually interested in getting married. However, Arie would make next season all that more entertaining because I’m guessing people will be coming out of the woodwork to share their stories on him. I can almost guarantee that.


With a crew like this I can’t begin to imagine which one will thrill you less there are so many a-listers to choose from and a few, shall we say, further down the alphabet-listers!!!

On Friday during the Television Critics Association’s summer tour in Beverly Hills, the Dancing With the Stars: All Stars cast was announced. Among the chosen ones for the series are Kirstie Alley, Pamela Anderson, Bristol Palin, Helio Castroneves, Joey Fatone, Shawn Johnson, Drew Lachey, Gilles Marini, Kelly Monaco, Apolo Ohno, Melissa Rycroft, and Emmitt Smith

Comment: Here’s the problem I have with DWTS: All Stars. All of them will be good. We get that. So basically all it is is a popularity contest of who can get the majority of their fan base to vote. I thought the whole point of DWTS was to cast people out of their element and challenge them to do something they normally wouldn’t do. Then to see people actually start to enjoy it and get better week by week, I thought that was the point of the show. All these contestants (maybe with the exception of Pamela since she’s the only cast member who finished lower than 2nd) are going to be good right off the bat. Like 9’s and 10’s good. So basically everyone will be bunched atop the leaderboard every week and it’ll just come down to fans voting. You’re not gonna see someone with a 29 and a low score of 23. Not a chance. Sure, all the routines will be good, but I honestly don’t think people watch this show for good dancing. They watch for improvement, storylines, and the underdog. None of these people are underdogs because they’ve already “mastered” this show.

Oh and what a surprise, Melissa Rycroft is going back on. Never thought that would happen, you know, with her TV career taking off and all. I thought she was supposed to get some hosting gig or what not?

Hi Steve,

Wondering if you knew the connection with Jef and Michele Money’s family? Emily and Michele are apparently good buds, and thought I heard that Michele’s brother Doug is friends with Jef. Sounds to me like once Emily committed to do the show, Michele lobbied to producers to recruit Jef for Emily.

When Jef & Emily were talking about where to settle, Emily told Jef she’d never been to Salt Lake City – which I find curious since I’m pretty sure Emily’s been out to SLC to visit Michelle.

Just surprised the tabloids never caught onto Jef having an unfair advantage from the start because Emily already had the heads-up.

Enjoyed following your site this season & enjoy your weekend in Vegas!

Comment: Yes, Emily and Michelle are good friends, but as far as I know, I don’t think Emily has been to Salt Lake to see her. I could be wrong.

Michelle’s brother Doug knows Jef, but I don’t know how well he knows him. I mean, he did tweet just days after filming ended “Jef is the winner,” so maybe now looking back on it, he did know something. Or he was just saying that to support someone he knew without really knowing.

Love the site and the blog. Thanks for being out there. My question has to do with past Bachelors and Bachelorettes who break up with their final pick (which is like all of them). With the exception of Jason and Molly, I have never heard of anyone of rekindling a flame with someone that was on their season. Are they forbidden by contract or something?

Comment: Lorenzo started dating Sadie, the girl he dumped at the altar. That’s the most obvious one that comes to mind. I’m sure other leads have gotten back in touch with other contestants from their show after a breakup, but I don’t know who or what seasons. Wouldn’t surprise me though.

Hey Steve,

I’ve been watching the Bachelor/ette since Ashley’s season and started visiting your website during Emily’s. I think you’re hilarious so keep up the good work. I’m clearly not the biggest expert on the franchise, but the Bachelor Pad cast is pretty pathetic. Come on, those are the only losers they could convince to sign up? Do most of the former contestants who are asked to be on Bachelor Pad turn it down because of the show’s negative image?

There are so many missed opportunities with former contestants who would have been perfect on Bachelor Pad. Ryan from last season, Stevie from last season just because he and Kalon hate each other, Courtney and Emily from Ben’s season since they hate each other so much (I know Courtney’s taken, but still), Ryan from Ashley’s season, Kacie B (another total bitch) from Ben’s season. Come on, people.

Comment: I think there’s definitely a stigma attached to “Bachelor Pad” that isn’t the most positive. But then again, a lot of these people are addicted to the attention and love being on TV and are sucked in to the Hollywood side of it, that they don’t think of the ramifications before signing up. They just want to be on TV again so people will talk about them.

Ryan claims he’s called by a higher power to do better things in his life. But you can bet your ass he’ll probably do it next season when he realizes in about a month, no one gives a crap about him and that he was on the “Bachelorette” and his publicist will be begging more media outlets to do more interviews with him. I can almost assure you Ryan will do it next season.

I can’t see them casting Stevie since even though he and Kalon had issues, it still wasn’t that big of deal in the grand scheme of things. Courtney and Ben would never go on that show, and neither would Emily. Kacie B just doesn’t fit in with that show. Ryan Park is the only one you mentioned who I think would consider it, and rumors that they were after him for this season, but for whatever reason, he didn’t do it.

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  1. sclark

    August 2, 2012 at 9:35 AM

    Thank you, Steve! Looking forward very much to the upcoming columns.

  2. jessica13

    August 2, 2012 at 10:46 AM

    to the person who asked the last question to dr steve…i gotta echo was steve said…get out! that guy sounds like a condescending douche. the things he says to you are awful and so disrespectful. ”Earlier today, we were discussing his opinion that I lack common sense, and that he can’t believe the things I do/say sometimes”???? that is so mean. no guy who is worth your time will consider anything you say stupid!

  3. khaki

    August 2, 2012 at 11:10 AM

    Jessica is right. To the last Dr. Steve writer, read your question back to yourself. If you had a friend who said those things, what would you tell them? You write as somebody well educated with a good head on your shoulders. You need to step back and realize you deserve much much more in a relationship. I can understand a conversation about you being flakey if you did something really destructive like forgetting to pay all your utilities for months or locking a child in a car, but we all have our dumb blonde moments. It honestly sounds like he is grooming you to have lowered self esteem so that you bend to his every wish since he is “older and wiser.” You deserve better. You are young. You are smart. You do not have to be dependent on him. Yes you should admire qualities in your partner, but he should admire qualities in you also. If you are asking the question, you already know there is a problem. Listen to your gut. Find somebody who makes you HAPPY not MISERABLE.

  4. Dianne

    August 2, 2012 at 11:39 AM

    OMG!! That last question e-mail is a doozy! Honey, do yourself a favour, and now. Dump the guy! My gawd, I can almost hear Kalon saying things like that, and we all know what Kalon is like.

  5. elizabeth82

    August 2, 2012 at 3:51 PM

    To the person who e-mailed with suggestions for who should be on Bachelor Pad: Kacie B. a bitch? Really??!

  6. randais

    August 2, 2012 at 4:45 PM

    WOW people (other than RS) really read these emails! Who knew?

  7. jillbeau

    August 2, 2012 at 5:58 PM

    I usually skip over the Dr. Reality Steve emails, but since there a few comments about the last one, I figured I would read it. My opinion is this: your boyfriend is probably insecure. There is no reason to belittle others, especially someone you apparently care about, unless there are other issues involved. People who are insecure usually try to control whatever they can, to increase their self-esteem and sense of self worth. He is trying to keep you under his control. He wants to be in charge of the relationship. By acting as if you are having “blonde moments” or have no common sense, this causes you to question yourself which will then cause you to seek his approval. So when you mention your future together and he makes statements such as “IF we have a future”. Well look at that, he’s in control of the relationship. You’re putting all the power in his hands. When you seek his approval, he then feels better about himself. Unless you want to put up with this, I agree with the others, get out of the relationship. Otherwise, step up and stand up for yourself.

  8. jillbeau

    August 2, 2012 at 6:19 PM

    As a side note for anyone reading this, I am a social worker and I attended a seminar this past year regarding “Dealing with difficult clients”. If anyone is familiar with social work, difficult clients are a given with the occupation (although wonderful, fantastic clients are far more common). The speaker said something very intriguing during the seminar and it’s this: You are not treated the way you deserve to be treated, you are treated the way you teach others to treat you. So, in short, stand up for yourself! If you’re being disrespected, it’s because others feel as though they can get away with it. Stand up for yourself and demand respect (in a respectful way).

    *steps off soap box*

  9. Vanilla Thunder

    August 3, 2012 at 7:31 AM

    Re: the last email. I will go even further, and say that I think this dude is mentally/emotionally abusing her. It seems that he’s constantly belittling her intelligence, and though she says she’s “not that bad”, it sounds like she is at least halfway to buying into his cr@p. And going back and forth between talking about a solid future and doubting they’ll even be together in a year? That is a tactic to keep you off balance and on eggshells with him. You never know where you stand, so you do everything you can to keep him happy and not lose him. I hope the LW gets out right away, before he escalates his mental games to something worse. Find a guy who loves you the way you are, and treats you right!

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