Reality Steve

Dr. Reality Steve

“Reader Emails,” “Dr. Reality Steve,” and a Special Guest on the Live Blog Tonight

What do you think of how fans jump on the bandwagon of products or businesses of the shows contestants? On, the fans are going crazy trying to get People Water. They want t-shirts and other merchandise. When Chris was on with Ali, they all ordered the t-shirts of his business. Back during Brad’s first season people went to Austin for vacations trying to see him. I know someone who switched insurance companies to get Roberto as an agent. Don’t you think it’s a little ridiculous?

Also, have you seen all the photos of Jef (the former Jeff) and Emily in Africa? Do you think she’s really enjoying herself? Do you think they will burn out like some of the other contestant couples in the past. I don’t see Emily as being that charitable and being willing to give so much time and effort to others and I think the bloom will be off the rose sooner rather than later. She’s even trying to pull off hipster looks and it’s not working and I don’t see her being happy with it all for too long.

Comment: Yes, most fans of this show are ridiculous, maniacal, and borderline obsessive when it comes to certain things. I don’t get it.

Yes, I’ve seen the Jef and Emily photos from Africa. They’re still in the honeymoon phase of their relationship, so anything they’re tweeting about each other is what I expect. I remember DeAnna and Jesse started their own website talking about their life, where they were, and wrote almost every day about how much they loved each other blah blah blah and they broke up in 5 months. As I’ve said many times before, the more people tell me on their Twitter or FB how in love they are with their bf, the less I believe them. It’s like they are trying to validate it to the rest of us. Live your life, do your thing, but I don’t see what constantly telling people about it will do, because inevitably when you break up, you’ll look back and realize how dumb that was.


While I was watching this week’s pool party, I wondered… Is music allowed on the Bachelor Pad? It would be boring to party without music but then how would producers hear everything contestants were saying?

Comment: I don’t think there is. Just alcohol and a pool. Seems to be all these people need to have a good time.

Hi Steve,

This might be an obvious answer question, but since it’s the off-season I figured it couldn’t hurt to ask. You stated last week that Ben and Courtney were not invited to Emily’s ATFR, Chris Harrison has made some snarky remarks about them, and it appears that the general consensus between America and ABC is that everybody dislikes them. That being said, say those two crazy kids do make it to the altar, would ABC still pay for and broadcast it? They just seem like the black sheep season and ABC is happy to forget about them altogether. Your thoughts?

Comment: I doubt ABC would broadcast their wedding for the sole reason you mentioned above – they are the most well-liked couple in the public’s eye. And I definitely think it was pretty telling they weren’t even invited to the ATFR since they are the show’s most recent couple and they are still together. They’ve done it for everyone else, why not them?


I am guessing you have received a lot of emails about this latest story, and I am guessing it’s completely untrue, but what do you think/know about the stories that Emily slept with either “Jef”, Arie, or both; that Emily actually had her final date with Arie; that Arie wanted to meet Ricki and Emily wouldn’t let him (because “Jef” told her not to?); Arie found out that she slept with both of them; and Arie then broke up with her. As a result, production forced Arie to agree to film the breakup that aired.

What I found really amusing were the tabloids that reported that Arie was disgusted that she slept with both guys and was all, how could she? Knowing what we know about his past dalliances, it would be more than a little hypocritical.

Thanks and sorry if you received this question a million times in the last week!!

Comment: Here’s the thing about those tabloids stories: Unless Arie, Emily, or Jef comes out and confirms it, it can never be proven. It’s just a way for them to sell magazines. Notice none of the quotes came from anyone on record who attached their name to it. Just a bunch of speculation to drive sales, which is pretty much what they do every week outside of an exclusive once every six months or so.

If Emily did sleep with Arie before Jef, how would anyone know outside of them and maybe a couple others? And how can it be proven? It can’t, which is why they run with it. Unless they have pictures of it, all it takes for them is to contact a former cast member (and trust me, if you don’t think former cast members from this show are making money by feeding tabloids information as the “insider,” or “friends close to the situation,” or “sources,” then you are sorely mistaken), get them to give a quote off record, and they’re golden. I guarantee most of these quotes are coming from people from the show who hear a rumor and immediately run with it because they know they can get paid. Plenty of these former contestants are on the tabloids speed dial. Plenty.

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  1. sclark

    August 2, 2012 at 9:35 AM

    Thank you, Steve! Looking forward very much to the upcoming columns.

  2. jessica13

    August 2, 2012 at 10:46 AM

    to the person who asked the last question to dr steve…i gotta echo was steve said…get out! that guy sounds like a condescending douche. the things he says to you are awful and so disrespectful. ”Earlier today, we were discussing his opinion that I lack common sense, and that he can’t believe the things I do/say sometimes”???? that is so mean. no guy who is worth your time will consider anything you say stupid!

  3. khaki

    August 2, 2012 at 11:10 AM

    Jessica is right. To the last Dr. Steve writer, read your question back to yourself. If you had a friend who said those things, what would you tell them? You write as somebody well educated with a good head on your shoulders. You need to step back and realize you deserve much much more in a relationship. I can understand a conversation about you being flakey if you did something really destructive like forgetting to pay all your utilities for months or locking a child in a car, but we all have our dumb blonde moments. It honestly sounds like he is grooming you to have lowered self esteem so that you bend to his every wish since he is “older and wiser.” You deserve better. You are young. You are smart. You do not have to be dependent on him. Yes you should admire qualities in your partner, but he should admire qualities in you also. If you are asking the question, you already know there is a problem. Listen to your gut. Find somebody who makes you HAPPY not MISERABLE.

  4. Dianne

    August 2, 2012 at 11:39 AM

    OMG!! That last question e-mail is a doozy! Honey, do yourself a favour, and now. Dump the guy! My gawd, I can almost hear Kalon saying things like that, and we all know what Kalon is like.

  5. elizabeth82

    August 2, 2012 at 3:51 PM

    To the person who e-mailed with suggestions for who should be on Bachelor Pad: Kacie B. a bitch? Really??!

  6. randais

    August 2, 2012 at 4:45 PM

    WOW people (other than RS) really read these emails! Who knew?

  7. jillbeau

    August 2, 2012 at 5:58 PM

    I usually skip over the Dr. Reality Steve emails, but since there a few comments about the last one, I figured I would read it. My opinion is this: your boyfriend is probably insecure. There is no reason to belittle others, especially someone you apparently care about, unless there are other issues involved. People who are insecure usually try to control whatever they can, to increase their self-esteem and sense of self worth. He is trying to keep you under his control. He wants to be in charge of the relationship. By acting as if you are having “blonde moments” or have no common sense, this causes you to question yourself which will then cause you to seek his approval. So when you mention your future together and he makes statements such as “IF we have a future”. Well look at that, he’s in control of the relationship. You’re putting all the power in his hands. When you seek his approval, he then feels better about himself. Unless you want to put up with this, I agree with the others, get out of the relationship. Otherwise, step up and stand up for yourself.

  8. jillbeau

    August 2, 2012 at 6:19 PM

    As a side note for anyone reading this, I am a social worker and I attended a seminar this past year regarding “Dealing with difficult clients”. If anyone is familiar with social work, difficult clients are a given with the occupation (although wonderful, fantastic clients are far more common). The speaker said something very intriguing during the seminar and it’s this: You are not treated the way you deserve to be treated, you are treated the way you teach others to treat you. So, in short, stand up for yourself! If you’re being disrespected, it’s because others feel as though they can get away with it. Stand up for yourself and demand respect (in a respectful way).

    *steps off soap box*

  9. Vanilla Thunder

    August 3, 2012 at 7:31 AM

    Re: the last email. I will go even further, and say that I think this dude is mentally/emotionally abusing her. It seems that he’s constantly belittling her intelligence, and though she says she’s “not that bad”, it sounds like she is at least halfway to buying into his cr@p. And going back and forth between talking about a solid future and doubting they’ll even be together in a year? That is a tactic to keep you off balance and on eggshells with him. You never know where you stand, so you do everything you can to keep him happy and not lose him. I hope the LW gets out right away, before he escalates his mental games to something worse. Find a guy who loves you the way you are, and treats you right!

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