Dr. Reality Steve
Dr. Reality Steve,
Several years ago (I was in 8th grade- I am now 21) I was on a family beach trip and met a guy. He was 2 years older than me and we hooked up. Come to find out, he lived about 20 minutes from me and his parents were good friends with my aunt and uncle. So we went out a couple of times when we got home then never really talked anymore. Well fast forward about 3 yrs and I get a text from him asking how I had been, etc. Then he starts asking if I might be interested in going out with him. I absolutely in no way was anywhere bear interested in that so I lied and told him I had a boyfriend. So a few months later he texts me again just small talking. I am an extreme people pleaser and didn’t want to hurt his feelings so I texted back and talked for a while. Eventually I would get enough and stop texting and he would leave me alone. Then a few months later the whole thing would happen again. I am now 21 and in my junior year of college and its still happening. I never want to date him, but I don’t want to make him mad considering his family is friends with mine. He is constantly pulling things like texting me saying “hey I lost all my contacts names, can you text me your name?” and texting me something completely random and then saying oh sorry wrong number, but how are you?? ugh it’s so irritating!! what should I do?
Comment: Stop responding. I know you want to be a people pleaser, but at some point you need to draw the line. If he bugs you that much, outside of telling him directly to stop contacting you, the only way to really get him to stop would be to ignore the texts. And if you do and he still insists on sending you stuff, then you’re just gonna have to tell him.
Dear Dr. RS,
I am a veterinary student living in Scotland, I am 22 years old and single. Would it be bad to jump on hot men on the bus to school? Even if they aren’t that great? Or should I wait until friday night when I am going out to a concert and just have like 10 shots of tequilla? Or should I hire a male prostitute? What’s the best method to get some ass?
Comment: One of the most random questions I’ve ever received. And it came from out of the country. Go figure. I don’t even know how to begin to answer a question like this. Ummmm, you’re a female. It’s much easier for you to get ass than it is for a guy. You should know this by now.
Hi Dr RS
This might be long but I will really love to get your take on this.
There is this guy I have known since childhood but we only started talking to each other 4 years ago. We hit it off and started dating a few weeks after, but I knew we were not taking it too serious, kinda trying to see where it will lead. So when I realized he was not being very honest about certain stuff, I decided not to get worked-up about it. We both moved to different areas 7 months after and the story kinda ended there. Well about a year later he contacted me again and we resumed communicating by phone. He wanted us to resume where we left off. I was reluctant cuz of the distance but later decided to give it a try when he invited me over for his brother’s wedding. Said he will take care of air tickets, but after giving one excuse to the next I paid for the round trip but went by bus (bus trip was horrible), because it was a last minute arrangement and I dont have a credit card. Well he said he owes me a trip, so when I had to return there 2 weeks later he was to buy the tickets. Dude told me a day before I had to leave that he gave part of the money to his brother and that I had to come by BUS!!!! After I had told him about the last horror trip by bus and I did not want a repeat. Well I had cleared my schedule for two weeks for this trip, so against my better judgement I went.
The thing is I like him alot. He is fun to be around and hot. he tries to always keep in touch and always used to tell me he loved me, but that has become scarce lately. For the eight months we have been dating now, he has never offered me a gift, even on my birthday he talked of a gift he bought which I finally never saw. I am the very affectionate type, encouraging and I love giving gifts for no occasion at all. Just my way of saying you are always on my mind and I always want to see a smile on your face. Maybe I am doing too much or expecting too much, I do not know but he claims to love me. I think maybe he just loves the way I love him.
I am wondering if I should keep my options open instead of shutting every other guy who comes my way or try harder to make things work out with my boyfriend.
What do you think?
Comment: Get him a bus pass for his birthday next year. See how he likes it. I’d sh*t can this guy tomorrow. He doesn’t sound like someone you’re all that interested in to be honest. When someone tells me they like someone a lot because “they’re fun to be around and they’re hot,” that’s really not enough to go off of. “Hot” will wear off someday. This guy doesn’t sound like he offers much after that.
I’m hoping you could help me with something. I met this couple who have been married for 50 years. They still had that same love for each other that newly weds have. Most married couples I know who have been together that long, don’t even really love each other that much, and are just together because its easier to remain married than go through a divorce, and start over. Anyway, I said to the husband how I hope I can find a nice guy to marry. The husband says to me to not find a nice guy, but a good guy. Wouldn’t a nice guy be a good guy? Please, help me with understanding what he meant!
Comment: I think you’re overanalyzing what he said. If you really want to get picky and dissect the difference between a “nice” guy and “good” guy, I guess you can. But it seems like an effort in futility. I wouldn’t worry so much about what he meant. Now just go out and find yourself a swell guy and marry him. That’ll do the trick.
Send all regular and “Dr. Reality Steve” emails to: email@example.com. To follow me on Twitter, it’s: www.twitter.com/RealitySteve. Instagram name is “RealitySteve,” or join my Reality Steve Facebook Fan Page. Talk to you soon.