-It’s time for the cocktail party, and to quote the tagline for the “Real World” franchise, it’s a place “where people stop being polite, and start getting real. The Bachelor. Whitefish.” Desiree is first up to steal Sean’s attention away and I think she still has steam coming out her ears from the losing team getting to join the cocktail party from the group date. Desiree: “He gives roses to girls having a hard time…I want reassurance I could be the one for him.” Translation: If he likes someone like Tierra, he certainly isn’t the one for me (Which essentially is something we hear from at least one contestant every season. Do these people not understand how the show works?) Desiree doesn’t even hide her disdain for what happened on the group date this time around. She flat out tells Sean she wasn’t happy they got to join because she never would’ve given any effort to be on the receiving end of an Angry Dragon if she knew it would eventually mean nothing. She might take it like a champ, but only if there’s a prize waiting for her in the end. And in this case, guzzling milk and having it spew out her mouth and nose only to see Daniella get a rose because an emotional hot mess drunk wasn’t worth it. And once Desiree airs her grievances to Sean, he’s now pushed her to the back of the line. “I don’t feel good about Desiree right now.” Things you don’t want to hear from the “Bachelor.” Also, “I’m crazy about you Tierra.”
-Speaking of Tierra, she was very non-confrontational at the cocktail party. Or not. “I seriously wanna punch everyone in that room…I wish I was a fighter…I would beat the sh** out of some of those women.” Nice. What a pleasant girl. Does she do birthday parties as well? Although it seems like pretty much every girl in that house hates Tierra with a passion, Robyn decides to step up to the plate and take her on 1-on-1 after Tierra gets up and leaves the room for no apparent reason. Robyn: “I’m so sick of her…I will make this the Bad Girls Club.” Oh wow, it’s about to go down. I’ve seen clips of that that show and dem bitches is cray-zay. Maybe what this franchise needs right now is some sister like Robyn to go all Bad Girls Club on Tierra. Might liven up the episode. So Robyn steps into the lion’s den and confronts Tierra about her attitude, and how she’s one way around the girls, but the second the cameras are around, or Sean walks in, she’s a completely different person. Basically accusing her of playing it up for the cameras. Ummmmm, Mount Tierra, the floors is yours:
“I don’t care what people say at the end of the day…I walk into a room…the looks I get from each of you, you’re the ones insecure, not me…If I wanna to get engaged, I can easily go get engaged. There are plenty of f***ing guys in this world…no matter what I do, someone is always watching me. Who cares? Honestly, whooooo cares? I’m seriously, this is so repetitive drama, I hope you guys are all happy cuz I will bite, I will bite. I’m a Scorpio, I do bite, and my stinger does come out when I’m pissed.”
Sooooo, I have a question. Do you bite? You weren’t clear. I’m guessing Scorpios across the world were throwin their hands up sayin, “Amen sister!” at the portrayal the lovely Tierra LiCausi just gave them. When the Little Ball of Hate is your spokeswoman for anything, probably best that you do whatever you can to distance yourself from it. Not that astrological signs are worth a damn thing anyway, but attention all Scorpios, you might wanna reconsider ever introducing yourself to a guy by your sign. Just a suggestion.
-Sean happened to walk by while Mount Tierra was in full eruption mode, yet we then see him just standing by a fireplace by himself. Lets be straight, the editing was completely wonky during this “lets gang up on Tierra” portion of the show. You never could tell if Tierra was blowing up at just Robyn, or everyone in the room, or no one. The editing was all over the place. Then when Sean walks in during the tail end of her diatribe, he’s just walking in the background, but then everyone makes it a big deal of what’s happening. He pulls Tierra aside to talk to her, and of course she puts all the blame on everyone else, says she’s being ganged up on, she starts nothing, but all the girls are attacking her. And Sean believes it. Of course he does. Sean is doing his best to distance himself as much from Tierra as he can post show. He tweets last night after it aired he gave her the rose on the 2-on-1 date, “So what you’re saying is I made a bad choice?” Then of course we had last week in his People.com blog him reminding everyone that he didn’t see Tierra’s interaction with the women, then yet again, THREE different times in his blog today he tells us once again that he had no idea about Tierra behind-the-scenes or else things would’ve been different. Think he’s having a little buyer’s remorse on this one?
-So then Sean pulls Lesley aside and specifically asks her about Tierra and her interaction with the other women. Wait, I thought he didn’t want to know about that? Now he’s asking women on the spot what they think of Tierra, but when no one can give him specific examples of her behavior, he’s just chalking it up to being in an awkward environment. Actually, I thought Jackie gave him a very specific example when she told him Tierra was flirting at the airport with another dude. And look where that got her. So basically Sean is a confused mess right now, as are the women, and as are the viewers. Sean, I’m guessing every single one of your women at this point wants to line up “Airplane” style and do this to you:
Sean, get a hold of yourself! I bet they each could give you 10 specific examples of why they hate Tierra, but then they probably feel like they’re tattling, so none of them give specifics. Someone go slap some sense into Sean right now. Please.
-Oh no, the Chris Harrison fireside chat is about to commence. Our first one this season cuz Sean apparently needs a shoulder to cry on. It’s here where he reiterates, “If you’re gonna say something about Tierra, come to me with some evidence.” Sean is now down on the whole process, his panties are all in a bunch now, and he’s apprehensive about finding a wife on the show now. Awwwwwww, poor Seanie. Let me explain something to everyone. For 25 consecutive seasons, this show has done the same thing. Hope in the beginning, then in the middle episodes there’s turmoil, drama, and doubt that this will ever work out, only to see a happy ending. Sean’s season is no different. So this BS he’s running in his People.com column today about he thought that might be it for him and he considered walking, is all for drama.
-Sean signed a contract to be the “Bachelor” on a network television show. He doesn’t make any rules. He does what they say. That contract states he is to be the lead in a season where he will eliminate women every episode, until 10 episodes are in the can, and then he will choose one in the end. Nothing Sean, or Chris Harrison, or Fleiss say changes that fact. I don’t care how pissed he was at any cast, crew, or production during filming of this show. At no point could he be like, “You know what? This is stupid. I’m not finding a wife here. I’m done,” and just walk off. Anyone who thinks that for a second is living under a rock. Every season there’s conflict, there’s doubt, there’s editing to make you think there won’t be a happy ending, and every season (outside of Brad 1.0), there is. So lets not all jump off a cliff thinking that Sean really is down about the whole process and in Whitefish really thought he wouldn’t find someone at the end. Nonsense.
-Rose ceremony time. Lindsay, Daniella, and Tierra have roses. Mopey Sean, you may now speak. “This week has been turbulent…I’ve had good times and not-so-good times…some steps forward, some steps backwards…leave this week with more questions…that being, ‘Have any of you ever seen Tierra in the same room with Lucifer at the same time?’…just checking.”
Selma: Man, last week we see you in all your tank top glory, and tonight we see the end of you. I will shed a tear.
Catherine: When she sat on his lap did Sean say to her, “Lets talk about the first thing that pops up?”
Lesley: Was put on the spot by Sean and handled herself admirably. Unfortunately, it was just a stay of execution.
AshLee: I think she still thinks Sean’s world revolves around her.
Sarah: Has anyone who ever got the first date of the season then got less screen time for the remaining episodes than her?
“Ladies, Sean, it’s the final rose tonight. When you’re ready. I’m so giddy about going to Canada, cuz that’s where Justin Bieber was born and since I love flirting with his mom on Twitter, just wait til I pimp out Canada during tonight’s episode and tomorrow’s blog.”
Desiree: She did not have a good episode. At. All.
Sean’s parting words to Robyn were very heartfelt, sincere, and I could tell he put a lot of thought into them. “Best of luck, ok.” (Slams car door shut). I’m guessing Robyn got the closure she needed after that heartwarming goodbye. Man, it was just like Sean’s goodbye to Emily in Curacao only 1,000 times different. Robyn, I think you should be very happy that you are now the gold standard for which all future black contestants on this show will now be judged. You lasted 5 episodes. The bar has been set. I dare anyone to beat it. I mean, first you must get cast which is a miracle in and of itself, but good luck trying to get past 5 episodes. I think hell might freeze over before that happens.
Back tomorrow with a recap of tonight’s brand new episode.
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